I Never Wanted This Lifestyle for Her

---

Blake's---POV

A couple days later, you could find me getting ready for school tomorrow.
Still not talking to JJ.
I let us just, simmer.
Instead of boil when we're on the phone with each other.

I talked to Erin last night.
As odd as she is.
We sat on my mom's porch, just talking.
Even though I thought carefully about what I said, just so she didn't know too much about me.
We both went over our class schedules, and we had a couple of classes together.
She seemed genuinely happy, when I just nodded.
I wasn't so excited about school, since I didn't have many friends.
And the only popularity I get is through my uncle.
It's not even that, it's just..School.
No one likes school.
Only the people who know they can pass the classes without even trying.

When I go back I know that the buzz is going to be about Pete Wentz's nephew returning to a regular school.
Then that'll die down, and I'll just be another kid.
Hopefully.

I'm supposed to hang out with Erin again tonight.
Just sit out on my mom's porch again.
Just talking.
Like the normal people we claim we are.
She kind of makes me nervous, for no apparent reason.
Other then her being totally crazy.
But, just sitting next to her makes my stomach churn.
I didn't understand it.
My stomach only churned when I was around JJ.
If this meant that I liked someone..Then I'm screwed.

JJ's---POV

It was Monday, and you could find me sitting in a bright classroom learning about Algebra that I already knew.
Even though it was the first Monday from their Winter Break, we still had to go to school.
I sat at a table that fit four people, but only had one other person but me, and stared at my laptop.
Finishing all the problems with my writing tablet before everyone else.

"Dang." Someone said behind me as I turned around to see a dark brown-eyed boy staring at my work.
"I won't copy I just..Wow." He said, stunned and looked down at his writing tablet.
"Thanks." I smiled as I turned forward, listening to the teacher's lecture.

I heard shuffling, then someone bring up a seat next to mine.
It was the dark brown-eyed boy again, and he grinned at me.
I smiled politely and listened to the teacher talk about graphing absolute values.

"I'm Quinn Dunn Mason." He said as I giggled at his name.
"I'm JJ Marie Iero-Way." I murmured back as his eyes went slightly wider.
"I thought they were joking about you being here. But I guess not." He mumbled as I bit my lip, tasting the cold metal I've been so accustomed to.

What else did these people know about me?
I ignored what he said and changed the subject.

"Nice to meet you Quinn." I said as we shook hands.
"Ms. Way, do you have something to say?" Ms. Gallo asked me as I shook my head.

Quinn was giggling beside me at god knows what.

"It's Ms. Iero-Way." I corrected her as she gave me a stern look.
"Excuse me?" She asked as I sunk down lower in my seat.
"M-my name is Ms. Iero-Way. Not just Way." I stuttered.
"Please go to the office Missus. Iero-Way for talking back to a teacher. Why don't you join her Quinn." She said as I got up slowly and walked to the off with Quinn giggling behind me.

"What the hell is a matter with you?" I asked as we were out of ear shot of Ms. Gallo.
"What she said. It rhymed. Ah, it was just funny." He said through giggles.
"Your weird." I mumbled as I opened the office door.

As Quinn and I were sitting in front of the Disciplinary Adviser, I tried to explain myself.

"Mr. Zelem, please. It's just my first day. I've never been in a school before, in my entire life, so how am I supposed to know what 'talking back' is or isn't?" I asked as I used the infamous air quotes.
"I'll cut you a break Ms. Iero-Way. But with Mr. Mason here..This is strike two with this teacher." He spoke up as I stared at Quinn.

His shaggy bleached hair hung over his eyes before he flipped it to the side.

"Yet, today is the first day back from break.." Mr. Zelem continued as Quinn grinned.
"Only this once Mr. Mason am I letting you go. I hope you thank Ms. Iero-Way here for saving you today. Your both excused." He excused us as he went back to his paperwork, and we left.

When we reached Ms. Gallo's room, the bell rang for me to go to English.
As I packed my laptop in it's case, Quinn asked who I had next.

"Ms. Wright." I replied as his eyes lit up.
"So do I." He said as we slung our laptops over our shoulder, and headed towards the English department.
"Ah, Missus Iero- Way. Nice to meet you." Ms. Wright welcome me as she shook my hand.
"Nice to meet you too." I said quietly as the seats started to fill up.

I took a seat next to Quinn and another girl to my right.
The tables in this classroom held six people.
She had at least seventy-five students in this class alone.
With twelve tables full.
I glanced around as everyone took out their laptops simultaneously.
I looked at people who had their laptops that looked customized and noticed mine was just white.

"You really are new." The girl next to me scoffed as I looked at her purple one.
"Yeah." I mumbled as Ms. Wright started to talk.
"So, welcome back class, or welcome to English." She started as she looked at me when she said that last part.
"I am Ms. Wright, if some of you have forgotten." She said as the class giggled.
"If you also forgot, that I'll probably be one of the most laid back teachers you have this year, then you must have some brain damage." She spoke again as the class laughed.
"After an hour and a half, you'll never want to leave. Yes, we do have work as well, but it's fun, I promise. You'll survive high school. At least this year." She finished the introduction as I got an IM, and it made a loud sound.

My eyes went wide as I fumbled to mute it.

"And usually in English class, we hardly use the sound on our laptops." Ms. Wright said as the girl next to me shook her head.

My cheeks felt hot as I read the IM.

Quinn_is_a_Sinn: I'd rather not risk us getting in trouble again, so this is the easy way out.

I looked at my SN and I decided to change it before I replied.

LGFUAD_JJ: Ha, do you always write in full sentences on IM?
Quinn_is_a_Sinn: Of course. This IS English class. It's the rule if we want to IM each other.
LGFUAD_JJ: Oh really now? Well then, I must follow the rules.
Quinn_is_a_Sinn:What does LGFUAD stand for?
LGFUAD_JJ: I can cuss on here, right?
Quinn_is_a_Sinn: Of course.
LGFUAD_JJ: Let's Get Fucked Up and Die. It's a song by Motion City Soundtrack.
Quinn_is_a_Sinn: Ah, I knew that.

I looked up from the IM as Ms. Wright started to explain a project.

"This project is called Project Imagination. I want everyone to make something creative. It can explain something about yourself, your life, or anything you would like. Be different." She said as she sent a direction sheet to all of us, via e-mail.
"You will do a presentation on this, so please be as creative as your mind lets you be in these three weeks I'm giving you. Don't procrastinate. I know how a lot of you LOVE to do that." Ms. Wright added as I thought about what..Creation..I could make.

Quinn_is_a_Sinn: What are you going to create?
LGFUAD_JJ: Maybe draw something. I don't really know quite yet. What about you?
Ouinn_is_a_Sinn: I don't really know. Maybe make a CD. I love playing guitar and singing.
LGFUAD_JJ: Oh yeah? I love those two, as well. You should, that would be totally awesome.
Quinn_is_a_Sinn: Oh yes, and maybe you could help me? If not, it's okay. But, that would be extra awesome.
LGFUAD_JJ: I'll think about it.

As class went on for the hour and a half, I Googled my name, for fun, as Quinn did the same.
Some links took me to some myspaces that had random pictures of me at shows.
I giggled at a picture of me in someone's heroes section.

"Look at this." I whispered to Quinn as he laughed at me too, holding both my thumbs up and my mouth open in a grin.

I felt him staring at me for a moment as I browsed through Google again.
I let it go, and clicked on a message board link.

"What do you think about Gerard and Frank's daughter?" The topic was as I read a couple of comments.
"When I met her, she was a total b!tch! She didn't even want to talk to me. And she looked like she was on some type of drug! It's sad that they picked HER over everyone else in that orphanage." I glared at the computer screen as I read another one.
"She's a total fat ass, haha." At this one I looked at my stomach.

There goes another day without food.
They didn't even know me, and they had this right to post this stupid shit about me?
Why did these people get to me anyways?
They were just fans of my father's, not me.
I read a reply to the comments, and felt a little better that someone agreed with me.

"You don't even know her. Stop attacking her because your jealous you aren't their daughter. You both are downright immature, and shouldn't even be allowed here. This is where we show our love for MCR, not diss Gerard and Frank's daughter. She didn't do anything to you, so leave her out of this."
I decided not to read any more and clicked out of the browser.

"You okay?" Quinn asked me as the bell rang.
"Mhmm." I mumbled as we walked into a lunch room with barely any kids, but they all seemed to be staring at me.

My eyes cast down as I briskly walked over to a vending machine buying a bag of pretzels.

"You don't want lunch?" Quinn asked me as I saw him with a brown bag.

I didn't even notice he left.
I shook my head to answer his question and headed back outside.
Away from all the chatter and people.
I wasn't use to this.
I spotted a big oak tree and finally sat down with Quinn next to me.
I opened my snack bag of pretzels and slowly ate them as Quinn chewed through his sandwich.

"Why don't you want lunch?" He asked me as he moved on to a bag of chips.
"I just..Don't. Plus I had a big breakfast." I lied.

I haven't eaten anything for two days now.
And if I do, it's small.
Toast of pop tarts are always good.

"Oh." He said as I finished my pretzels.

Our lunch was an hour long, then we went home.
Why couldn't we just leave?

"What are you doing tomorrow?" He asked me as I shrugged.
"Oh, well I'm going to this little get together, and I can bring whoever I want, if you want to go." He said as I thought about it.

Maybe I should go.
Get to know some other people.

"I'd have to see if I can. Ya know, the whole parent thing." I mumbled as he nodded.
"Ya know, your actually pretty cool. Thanks for talking to me and all." He said as I smiled at him.
"I am just a human, as well. If I was stuck up, I don't think I'd be here." I said as he agreed.

And so, lunch went on like this.
As we both just sat there talking.
I didn't reveal much, just what I like most.
Drawing, singing, playing guitar, etc.
When the bell rang, I said goodbye, and left him with my cell phone number.

---

"A get together?" Frank questioned as Gerard sat at the head of the dinner table, munching on a salad.
"Yeah. He seems like a good person though. If you don't want me to, I understand." I said as I picked at my food.
"No, no. I want you to have a social life." He said as Gerard clanked the fork with the plate.

I glanced at him as he wiped around his mouth, and excused himself.
I looked at Frank expectantly as he shrugged.

"You can go tomorrow. But, just call every now and then." He said as we both got up at the same time.
"You barely touched your food." He added as I shrugged.
"I ate a lot at lunch." I lied again.

Twice in one day.

"I'm going to go lay down. I feel a bit tired." I mumbled as drowsiness overcame me.

Frank kissed my forehead right before I headed into my room.
But, as soon as I laid my head down, someone was calling me.

"Lo'?" I asked into the phone as the other person on the side of the phone giggled.
"Hey." I recognized Blake's voice, as I sighed.

I really did not want to do this tonight.
Of all nights.

"Hi." I mumbled.

Wanting everything to just stop so I could sleep.

"I just..I just wanted to say good night." He mumured softly as I rolled my eyes.
"Mm." I grumbled
"Is that all you wanted to say?" I asked acidly as he sighed on the other line.
"I..I miss you. And I'm sorry. I know that it's not good enough, but it's the best I can come up with. I never meant anything I said at the airport. I was just so..So irritated at the thought of being alone again. Especially when I had you going somewhere else, without me. You can't blame me for reacting the way I did." He murmured into the phone as I sighed.

Was he right?
Was I too stubborn to see this?

"I see.." I said back.
"Blake.."
"Yeah?"
"You really hurt me. I thought..I thought you could really understand me. Maybe your use to jumping in and out of public high school, but I'm not. We are really different you and I, aren't we?" I asked as he laughed lightly and agreed.
"You just promise me one thing Blake." I pressed on him.
"Anything."
"You promise to never hurt me like that again, and I won't contemplate breaking up with you." I said.
"I promise." He breathed on the other line.

I smiled slightly and closed my eyes while I listened to his voice.

"JJ?" He asked as I mumbled an inaudible response.
"I'm going to let you go to sleep." He giggled as I said nothing in return.
"I love you." He mumbled.
"I love you too." I said in a sleepy voice.

I didn't even bother to close my phone as I fell asleep.