I Have No Regrets From Loving You

"So MinJee this is the artist, Gummy meet your video concept artist MinJee from Japan," I bowed politely to show my respects.

"I've read over the lyrics to your song and have gathered somewhat of an idea on what you could to. Seeing as that it is about a love that has gone, why don't we take things a little more dramatic. So the lead male basically has two sides. When he was in a relationship with the girl he was sweet, a guy that wore glasses and had a secret passion for something tough like motor bikes. The girl on the other hand has a secret that she has hidden from the boy, she has a terminal sickness and that she knows she will die from.

"One day she leaves him and seeks comfort in her church that she grew up in. During her whole way back she leaves him messages on the phone saying how she is sorry. So the guy passes by all the places that she had gone and left messages on his phone in hopes of finding her, but is too late. With picture in hand, he finds the church and meets a nun who gives him the girl's belongings before she died. He of course screams and shouts his inner frustrations out.

"This is rough, the screen play will be so much better, I assure you," I looked up to see her reaction, I held my breath and looked at their faces. I could not read their expressions.

"MinJee-" the director was cut off by the artist.

"I like it. We'll start next month," I was happy yet angry at the same time.

Next month was only two and a half weeks away. Not only did I have to write the scripts as fast as humanly possible, I had to have my novel's next chapter sent to the editor.

"You are dismissed MinJee," I bowed and walked quickly out of the room.

I didn't exactly go straight home to get ready for the family reunion, instead I found myself in the stairwell at the SM building. Leaning my back against the wall I slid down and pulled out my cell phone. I didn't know what I was doing at the moment; everything seemed to be in a haze. The tears might've had something to do with the fact that I can't see straight, but that is beside the point.

"Yobasayo," the familiar calming voice said on the other line.

"GD...I-I" I couldn't bring myself to say anything. Sobs racked though my body.

"Minnie! Are you okay? Do you need me to come over?" He sounded so concerned, but when I heard music and something about their recording session I couldn't intrude.

"I-it's okay... I-I’ll just t-t-talk to you to-tonight," I hung up the phone and wiped my eyes.

I picked myself off the ground and walked down the stairs with only one destination place. In my state, it wasn't safe for a girl to walk around alone, but I didn't want to bother anyone else. They have their own problems to worry about instead of bothering with me.

I walked towards the river and sat on the bench GD and I had been on yesterday. I watched as people walked around so carefree, without stress of a demanding job. Okay- so some of them might have a demanding job, but I really doubt that they have such early deadlines for a vast amount of things.

I love writing and all, but sometimes a break is good every once in a while. It isn't even possible with the publisher I have, they have tons of competition and with the success of my first novel they have been hounding me for another. Things build up, and eventually things crack, and right now I have cracked under pressure.

The vibrating in my pocket was endless, I knew that GD had informed my cousin of my little incident and now I would not get a night of peace. She’ll be bugging me one again for all the unimportant details.

My phone turned off, cup of coffee in hand, and a cookie in the other, I sat in one of my aunt's bakeries. I was thankful that she was working at the bakery closest to the house with Uncle; I didn't want her prying to figure out if I was having "relationship problems" when in fact the real problem was work.

When I had flipped my phone I was amazed at how many text messages I had received. What surprised me that there were a couple from TOP- now we aren't the closest friends and he was the only one I knew from Big Bang because he had hung out with HeeJin and myself a couple times but it was surprising that he would be concerned. Maybe he'll be a confidant for me aside from family, so I texted him back.

The one message I dreaded the most was one from the casting director. He wanted to start looking for people next week, so I needed to figure out a couple and fast.

"Minnie Mouse! I didn't expect to see you here! I love your new hair," I turned in my seat and faced the direction of the owner's voice.

This morning I had gotten my hair dyed. The hair dresser had given me bleach blond highlights with streaks of red. I had also let her cut it so that I had distinct layers that showed all the colors. It still held it’s length, just two inches shorter.

"Raccoon? Thanks, but aren't you supposed to be on a show doing a performance or at your radio show?" The owner of the voice happens to be somewhat of an acquaintance of mine. His name is Kangin and he is also in a group with Eunhyuk and Hankyung Oppa. He is in a group called Super Junior. He is really fun to hang out with, he will always keep you smiling.

"I'm on my lunch break. I was in a mood for something sweet so I thought of your aunt's bakery. The other boys were too lazy to come and get their own food," He lifted his bag full of sweet goodies.

"Well at least it wasn’t Heechul Oppa who had gone and bought the food he would have complained the whole time and forget to actually buy what he went out for," we shared a laugh but it was short lived because Kangin Oppa had to go back and rehearse.

I had stayed at the bakery for another half an hour looking out the window before I actually gathered my emotions enough to walk back to the house. I didn't find it surprising when I was ambushed by Heejin's questions; I just tuned her out and went to our room to change.

Aunt and Uncle were running around the house trying to gather everything we needed for the family reunion. As a gift to Grandma and Grandpa, they had designed a cake for them for their anniversary. This was going to be a formal event, so a dress and heels were mandatory. Once again I had to deal with feeling fake.

Thankfully HeeJin had already laid out my outfit on my bed, so the only thing I had to worry about was hair and make up- both of which skills were lacking. My dress was a simple powder pink strapless that came up to my knee and had a black belt accentuating the empire waist. Shoes were a strap stiletto heel that wrapped around my calves. Once again I had my hair curled, but I pinned some of it back. Make up was just simple liquid liner, mascara, pink lip-gloss, and salmon eye shadow- I had HeeJin help me with that.

"MinJee! We have to go!" I took my silver clutch off the make up table and ran as fast as I could in heels down to the foyer.

"Wow, you clean up good," I poked ChulMoo. He had his hair combed and was wearing simple black dress pants and a maroon button down shirt. Better than the ripped jeans, sneakers, and sweater he usually wears.

"Says the one in the cotton candy dress,"

"Powder pink for your information, but that is beside the point. Let's go, we are going to be late!" HeeJin took both our hands and dragged us into the van- which was difficult to get into might I add.

I don't know how most girls deal with this on a day to day basis.