Surrender To Love

He didn't glance up when I walked in. With a small sigh I walked over to him and kneeled down in front of him. I cupped his chin to bring his gaze to level with mine.

“I'm so sorry for your lost,” I murmured sadly.

He ripped away from me, wincing at the pain, and walked away from me to the far side of the room. He looked at me with eyes full of pain and suffering.

“It's your fault,” he mumbled quietly so I wouldn't hear. Instead I heard every word.

“How is it my fault?” I asked hurt as I stood up to face him.

“If I had only killed you a lot sooner and never fell in love with you I would have had the money to give my sister better treatment. She would still be here!” he yelled with tears streaming down his face.

A tear slid down mine as I glared at him. “Your sister was sick and her body gave out on her, there was nothing you could do to help her. You did what you could do. I know your upset, but don't blame it on me!” I yelled angry.

He slide down the wall on the opposite side of the room and wrapped his arms around his knees, ignoring the pain in his left shoulder. “I should never have let myself fall in love with you. I will always regret that,” he mumbled without any emotion.

“How can you say that? Didn't I mean anything to you? You sacrificed your life for me. I love you! Doesn't that mean anything?” I choked as tears fell freely down my face.

“Leave. I don't ever want to see you again,” he mumbled coldly.

I ran out of the room and down the hall as I wiped the tears from my face. When I reached the parking lot and found my dad I got into the passenger seat. I stared out the window without saying anything to him and refusing to let myself cry.

“Hey, sweetie. Are you ok?” my father asked quietly.

I shook my head and stared out the window. How could I have meant nothing to him? I blinked back tears as my father drove me home.

When we arrived home I ignored my father's questioning looks and got out of the car. When I unlocked the door I was met with a chorus of “Welcome home.” Glancing around I realized that my mom had threw me a welcome home party. Before I could take two steps into the house my mom appeared and hugged me with tears streaming down her face.

Pulling away from me she brushed a stray hair behind my hair as she smiled slightly at me. “I missed you so much. I don't know what I would have done without you. I know we don't usually get along, but I'm hoping we can work on it, if you'll give me the chance.”

I smiled slightly and nodded before hugging her. I've been waiting for that moment for a long time. The smiled faded from my face as my mind went back to Jason. Pulling away from my mom I moved through the crowd and up the stairs to my room. I closed the door and crawled onto my bed. I gabbed a pillow and buried my face into it as I finally let myself cry.

Minutes later I heard the door open and close and then I felt two set of arms wrap around me.

“Raven, whats the matter?” Blake asked concerned.

I glanced up at them and after I was able to calm down I explained what happened back at the hospital.

“I'm sorry Raven. He was upset. I'm sure he didn't mean it.” Savannah whispered as she hugged me. Blake rubbed circles on my back consoling me. Despite what she said I didn't believe her.

Two weeks later..

I sighed in relief at the site of my wonderful black couch in the middle of the living room. Dropping my stuff I walked over to the couch and curled up on it closing my eyes.

A lot has changed the past two weeks. Blake, Savannah, and I bought a really nice three bedroom apartment just outside the campus of the college we'll be attending in a few weeks. I was lucky that I was able to graduate high school. I had good grades so the school decided to exempt me from my exams, and allowed me to graduate.

I smiled slightly to myself as I felt myself begin to relax.

“Hey girl, how was your day?” Savannah asked walking into the living room.

“Long and boring,” I replied. “I spent the day following an old guy who took forever to give me a tour of the college. I should've just had one of you guys do it. I ended up being late to my job interview, so obviously I didn't get it,” I ranted.

“I'm sorry. It must be one of those days,” she replied carefully.

Shrugging my shoulders I got up and headed to my room.

Savannah's POV

Ever since she got home from the hospital she hasn't been the same. She's been distant and quiet which is the complete opposite of her. I jumped as a pair of arms wrapped themselves around my waist. Smiling up at Blake I placed a kiss on his cheek. Blake and I officially started dating about a week ago.

“How's Raven today?” he asked.

“The same, if not worse,” I responded. “I thought she would be over Jason by now.” I don't think we realized how much he hurt her.

“We have to do something. She must really love him if she's still hung up over him,” I frowned. I hated seeing her like this. I wanted my best friend back.

“He haven't been doing so good himself. Although I can't blame him. He lost his sister and who knows whether or not he feels bad about Raven. He doesn't talk to anyone, especially me, and keeps to himself,” he responded deep in thought. “I'm going to find him and talk to him.”

He kissed me on my cheek and left before I could say a word. I hope he knows what he's doing.

Jason's POV

The last two weeks have been hell for me. I'm glad that Raven's dad let me go. I don't know how I would have been able to handle myself in prison. I don't even know how I'm surviving each day. Every day I'm constantly reminded of how I failed my sister, and how I hurt Raven. I know I lashed out at Raven, but if only I did what I was supposed to do.

I sat in the break room of the hardware store I was currently working in. I needed to start saving money to pay for college. Taking a drink from the water bottle I was currently holding I glanced you to see Blake standing in the doorway. Didn't his shift end a half an hour ago? What is he doing here?

“We need to have a talk,” he muttered to me coldly.

Rolling my eyes, I leaned back in the chair and crossed my arms waiting for him to talk. He walked to the other side of the table I was sitting at and sat down across from me.

“Whats the deal with you and Raven? What did you say to her that made her so upset?” He narrowed his eyes at me waiting for an answer.

“You know the story. I'm sure she told you all about it.” I muttered.

“Fine. Then why did you say those things to her? Why did say those meaningless things?”

“They weren't meaningless, I meant them.” I responded trying to keep my voice level. “It was about my sister so I meant every word. If I didn't lose focus I would have been able to pay for better treatment.”

He slammed his fist down on the table and glared at me before answering. “Thats not the reason why and you know it. Your sister was sick and there was nothing left to do about it. I'm sorry to say that, but you need to get over what happened and move on. Stop blaming it on Raven!”

“I don't want to get close to her again. I don't want to lose another loved one. I can't go through that again. She doesn't deserve to be with someone like me. She'll find someone else better than me,” I mumbled quietly. Why the hell was I telling him this. I glanced away as I heard him standing up.

“That's a risk that your going to have to take. Honestly I don't understand why she's so hung up on you, but believe it or not she loves you.” he murmured quietly before leaving.

I didn't want to bear myself to that pain again, but for some reason Blake's words hit me hard. Maybe I should apologize to her. What if she doesn't forgive me? Hell, I don't blame her