The Stale Taste of Recycled Air

Monday Morning and I arrived at the Armstrong house around 7 to find Billie and Phil the security guard in the middle of a blazing fight in the corridor.
"FOR GOD'S SAKE YOU'LL HAVE TO FACE HER SOMETIME, JUST DROP THEM OFF!"
"NO PHIL, YOU DO IT, THAT'S WHAT IM PAYING YOU FOR."
"NO YOU'RE PAYING ME TO BE A SECURITY GUARD NOT A BABYSITTER SO YOU TAKE THEM."

They both stopped and looked at me when they realised I was present.
"Erin," Billie stopped and ran at me, "Will you take the boys to school?"
"I..." I was gob smacked, what the hell was going on?
"Don't you dare Erin," Phil began to advance on me then, his fat finger wagging in my direction.
"What is going on?" I asked completely dumbfounded.
"Billie won't take Joe and Jake to school, he wants me to but I've got to stay here as a delivery is coming for his fucking Adeline crap and... "
"Hey!" Billie yelled, "Its not crap."

I had to suppress a laugh at the hurt look on Billie's face from Phil dissing his clothing line.
"Look, Jesus, I don't know WHY you won't go near that school with your kids Billie, but I'll take them before I start work..."
"Hang on... Phil cut me off.
"BUT" I finished, "This is the last time"

Billie and Phil nodded, both happy with the result. Phil walked off back to his hut, Billie watched him till he had walked off. "If I didn't like him I'd sack him," he muttered at me.
"Billie, understand where he's coming from, I mean, they are your boys and..."
"LOOK!" he snapped, "I don't need this crap! I have enough on my fucking mind!" he yelled storming off and leaving me feeling sick at his words.
Driving back from dropping the boys off I kept thinking about what Phil had said, 'You'll have to see her sometime' I thought he was talking about Adi at first, but it didn't make sense and from what I'd sampled of Billie's mood today I didn't want to ask in case my head was removed.

Parking up I saw Billie sitting on the step outside the door, he was smoking and running his fingers through his hair. I took in the blue stripy top that I had so carefully washed and ironed and his black tight jeans that clutched to his skin. His face looked deep in worry and thought, my heart melted at him looking so vulnerable.
I sat myself down next to him, "Hey" I softly whispered.
"Hey" he exhaled with a thin wisp of smoke.
"Are you okay Billie?" I asked lifting my hands to rest on my lap.

Billie didn't say anything for a while; he just quietly smoked the cigarette.
"Mmmm" he mumbled I shifted my gaze from him and looked at the trees that grew in front of his house, I'd never realised how huge they were.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you Erin," he turned to me, his eyes shining.
"It's okay Billie I understand that you're going through a lot and... "
"Its no excuse to snap at you," he spat flicking the cigarette next to his heel.
"Look Billie... " I began snaking my hand up to rest on his knee, he turned to look at me and I saw him glance down to where my hand was resting, a glint in his eye.

"I sometimes forget what you are going through because you do such a good job of covering your emotions, I mean, you're working with your music and then Adeline and all that stuff and then the boys and then you and Adi... " I drifted off not knowing how to finish my sentence. His arm moved around to my side and he pulled me closer, my heart Rica shaded in my chest at the heat of his body.
"Thanks Erin, you know, I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You'd be a smelly pig living in shit," I laughed as he cackled loudly too. He bent down to put out his cigarette before resuming his position next to me. We just sat staring at the garden next to each other, his arm bringing me closer and my hand still on his knee, I don't know how long we sat there but I didn't want it to end.

Suddenly the gates opened and a mini cooper rolled up the drive, Billie let go of me like a hot cake as Adrienne stopped the car and got out. I stood up and looked at Billie who had also rose to his feet and swallowed harshly, a fear clouding in his eyes.
Adrienne looked as if she was seeing red; she slammed the car door shut and stamped over towards us, stopping in front of me she smiled sharply at me.
"Hey Ellen," she spat then waltzed into the house, Billie following like a helpless puppy. I heard them both climb the stairs.
"It's Erin," I muttered needlessly as no one was there to hear it. Upon entering the house I started to clean the kitchen to the sound of screams and yells coming from upstairs. I cringed feeling so uncomfortable at the situation, soon pounding footsteps thumped down the stairs and I heard Billie's voice loud yet pleading.

"WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TAKE THEM STRAIGHT FROM SCHOOL AT LEAST LET ME SAY GOODBYE TO THEM."
"OH SAVE IT BILLIE JOE FOR FUCKS SAKE." I heard the front door open and visualized Adi dragging bags full of Joey and Jake's stuff.
"NO ADRIENNE I HAVEN'T SPOKE TO THEM SINCE... "
"YOU DIDN'T TAKE THEM TO SCHOOL? OH SURPRISE, SURPRISE, BEST FUCKING DAD AWARD TO BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG... "
"FUCK OFF ADRIENNE I WAS BUSY... "
"BUSY DOING FUCK ALL THAT'S WHAT AND I BET YOU DIDN'T HAVE THE GUTS TO FACE HER... "
"SHUT UP ADRIENNE, SHUT UP AND JUST FUCK OFF IF YOU'RE GOING, GO ON PISS OFF."

The door slammed and the faint yell of Mrs. Armstrong floated through to the kitchen. "I WILL GO BILLIE... FOR GOOD!"

I sat down at the kitchen table making two cups of coffee waiting for the appearance of Mr. Armstrong, thinking about what Adi had said. The back door flung open and Phil and some other random dude dragged in a huge box labelled ADELINE.
"Where's Billie Erin?" Phil puffed.
"Er I dunno, Adi just left and... "
"Oh," Phil exhaled then looked up at the delivery guy who was pouring with sweat. "Er... we'll leave it here I think, I'll escort you out dude come on."

Phil led the guy out and winked at me as he shut the back door. I sighed and put my empty coffee mug in the dishwasher and went upstairs in search of Billie Joe, I called his name but there was no answer.

I quietly climbed the stairs and stood outside his bedroom where the door was ajar, building up my courage I slowly pushed it open to see him sitting on the edge of the huge bed with his back to me. The sunlight from the open window beat down across his back covering his face in shadow. He looked so beautiful, I fought the urge to run over and squeeze him tightly in my arms.
"Billie," I softly whispered, approaching him with caution. He didn't utter a sound just stared at the wall ahead of him.
"Billie, the... the order from Adeline has arrived," I whispered, teetering on the edge of the bed. He still didn't move, he didn't even look at me, I felt scared, how on earth was I meant to react to this?
"She's took the boys stuff, they are staying with her for a bit," he suddenly spoke, still not looking at me. I nodded, not knowing how I should reply to such a statement. "I'm a bad father," he stated.
"No! You're not, Billie you're not, you love Jake and Joe and they know that" I spat out at him unable to control myself. He turned to me, tears forming in his eyes, my heart split in two at the sight. Without control, my arms flung themselves around his neck and to my surprise he nuzzled into me, silent tears soaking my shoulder.
The phone suddenly rang and he shot up like a dart to answer it, catching tears on the back of his hands,
"Hello? Yeah, yeah, nah, I dunno, no, er, er, okay wait... "
"Erin!" he yelled.
"What?" I asked confused at how fast he seemed to get over that.
"Fancy coming to my friend Jason's house for a drink?"
"What? Now? I dunno will I be the only female?" I asked rather suspicious of this drink.
"She asks if she'll be the only female... oh okay... " he turned to me. "No Mike's bringing his girlfriend Brittany," I looked at him slightly un nerved, he must have read my eyes because his hand covered the receiver. "Please Erin... I don't want to go on my own... I'll... I'll pay you."
I burst out laughing as did he, he raised his eyebrow in a school boy manner, "Well?" he asked.
I nodded, speechless that I had just been invited to this thing and at how quickly Billie's emotions changed or was he just a bloody good actor?

An hour later I found myself changed into an Adeline dress from the box downstairs and sitting in the car next to Billie driving to Jason White's house.
"You owe me you cocksucker," I spat.
Billie looked at me half shocked, half amused.
"What did you say?"
"I said you owe me cocksucker, I don't know what I'm getting into, you crazy ass band people."
He chuckled as we pulled up to a halt along many other posh cars outside another big house. One car, parked viciously half in the road, half on the curb I recognised as Tre's SUV. I smiled as Billie embraced some meaty looking Security dude outside the gates of the house.
"Chris this is Erin," he grinned,
"Hey," I smiled shaking Chris' hand.
"Hey pretty girl," he chuckled in a thick Jamaican accent which surprised me, "You watch yourself in der sweetie with them boys"
"Thanks," I giggled waving at him and following Billie up the garden path. It suddenly struck me that I and Billie looked like a couple. I stopped halfway up the path and froze, could I really go through with this knowing that everyone in there will probably hate me?

Billie turned around and looked at me confusion riddling his face.
"What's up?" he asked approaching me.
"We... we look like were together... like a couple, why didn't I think about this before?"
Billie put his hands in his jean pockets
"There are only like me you, Tre, Mike, Brittany and the two Jason's. Nothing big," he shrugged, "And anyway, every one knows you're my friend... "
"Employee," I interrupted with a smirk, he shrugged again a smile erupting on his lips.
"I'd say more friends," he grinned gesturing to take my arm
"Bet Hazel never partied with you guys."
"Hazel was a walking corpse," Billie laughed as I took his outstretched arm.
"Anyway... " he turned to me at the door, "What's wrong me appearing as your boyfriend?"

It's a good job the door opened to a drunken dark haired man at that very moment because otherwise I would have died right there in my Adeline dress.