Wake Me Up When This Nightmare Ends
Chapter 11
In the evening, when things got a little bit down, Billie was ready for the “conversation”. I kept grinning constantly. He was so serious, like if he needed to talk about sex. I hid behind the door and listened.
Billie called Joey, who was rolling his eyes unwillingly when he said they needed to talk. He reminded me of Billie – he can behave like that sometimes. I guess they have it in their blood.
Billie was so confused. He didn’t even know how to start. When he finally spoke, I listened to the conversation:
“Look, Joseph…” aahaha… he called him with his full name. We actually never call him Joseph.
“…well… I… namely… I think I need to explain to you some things. Mmm… well, do you remember this morning, when mom and I came home and you were yelling at Jacob and even sweared. You know, I understand you’re growing up and you want to follow someone's example and be cool, just like the rest of your peers.”
“But daddy, you swear too! Even on television. And you always do it when you talk. And you scream and you look meanly and I saw you put your hand into your pants and breathing so weird… what were you doing then? I don’t understand…”
Oh dear… this is gonna confuse Billie. Maybe he’ll change the subject… It looks like he’ll continue undisturbed.
“Well… I know I do some improper things. But we grown-up people understand it and that’s normal behavior. But not with you kids. Some words are really bad and you even don’t know what these words mean, so it’s nonsense saying them. You can express yourself in another way when you’re angry. So you’ll understand the words you say. That’s the best way. And when you’ll understand those bad words too… you can use them. But not always… maybe when you’re with your friends. But don’t use them at home or in public. That’s really not nice. I never say a bad word to you. Are we agreed about this?”
“Mhmm… but I still don’t understand something.”
“What? Ask me…”
“I still don’t know why do you push your hand into your pants. Is your hand cold or something?”
“Hm… look. We will talk about this when you’re a bit older. You wouldn’t understand this way or that way. It would confuse you even more than now.”
“Okay… can I go back and play now?”
“Sure. But promise me you’ll keep in mind what we had said this evening.”
“I promise, dad!”
And he quickly ran off to Jakob. I stepped from the door to Billie. He seemed very relieved, but slightly shocked. He probably didn’t expect Joey will be asking him about what he does on concerts.
I hugged him.
“You did it great. I’m proud of you, hehe.”
“Oh… our kiddo is a bit curious, don’t you think?” he laughed.
”Ah, leave him and don’t worry.”
I laughed too. But soon, I became serious and said:
“But we still need to talk.”
We haven’t mentioned about what happened this morning.
“Sure Adie. Don’t worry, okay? I’m too tired to explain anything more. But believe me, it’s nothing horrible. May I go to sleep?”
“Oh well, but you won’t get away tomorrow!”
I winkled.
“I surely won’t, you’re too smart for that. Hehe… Well… good night, my love.”
He gave me a kiss and crashed out. I couldn’t wait the next morning, when I would finally find out what’s really happening. Soon after, I fell asleep too.
Billie called Joey, who was rolling his eyes unwillingly when he said they needed to talk. He reminded me of Billie – he can behave like that sometimes. I guess they have it in their blood.
Billie was so confused. He didn’t even know how to start. When he finally spoke, I listened to the conversation:
“Look, Joseph…” aahaha… he called him with his full name. We actually never call him Joseph.
“…well… I… namely… I think I need to explain to you some things. Mmm… well, do you remember this morning, when mom and I came home and you were yelling at Jacob and even sweared. You know, I understand you’re growing up and you want to follow someone's example and be cool, just like the rest of your peers.”
“But daddy, you swear too! Even on television. And you always do it when you talk. And you scream and you look meanly and I saw you put your hand into your pants and breathing so weird… what were you doing then? I don’t understand…”
Oh dear… this is gonna confuse Billie. Maybe he’ll change the subject… It looks like he’ll continue undisturbed.
“Well… I know I do some improper things. But we grown-up people understand it and that’s normal behavior. But not with you kids. Some words are really bad and you even don’t know what these words mean, so it’s nonsense saying them. You can express yourself in another way when you’re angry. So you’ll understand the words you say. That’s the best way. And when you’ll understand those bad words too… you can use them. But not always… maybe when you’re with your friends. But don’t use them at home or in public. That’s really not nice. I never say a bad word to you. Are we agreed about this?”
“Mhmm… but I still don’t understand something.”
“What? Ask me…”
“I still don’t know why do you push your hand into your pants. Is your hand cold or something?”
“Hm… look. We will talk about this when you’re a bit older. You wouldn’t understand this way or that way. It would confuse you even more than now.”
“Okay… can I go back and play now?”
“Sure. But promise me you’ll keep in mind what we had said this evening.”
“I promise, dad!”
And he quickly ran off to Jakob. I stepped from the door to Billie. He seemed very relieved, but slightly shocked. He probably didn’t expect Joey will be asking him about what he does on concerts.
I hugged him.
“You did it great. I’m proud of you, hehe.”
“Oh… our kiddo is a bit curious, don’t you think?” he laughed.
”Ah, leave him and don’t worry.”
I laughed too. But soon, I became serious and said:
“But we still need to talk.”
We haven’t mentioned about what happened this morning.
“Sure Adie. Don’t worry, okay? I’m too tired to explain anything more. But believe me, it’s nothing horrible. May I go to sleep?”
“Oh well, but you won’t get away tomorrow!”
I winkled.
“I surely won’t, you’re too smart for that. Hehe… Well… good night, my love.”
He gave me a kiss and crashed out. I couldn’t wait the next morning, when I would finally find out what’s really happening. Soon after, I fell asleep too.