This is Home

“When do you think Miraz will attack?” Peter asked. He had been asking questions like these to Caspian almost every day.

“I do not know,” Caspian shrugged. “Perhaps when his weapons are done and his army is big enough.”

“Ahh,” Peter agreed. He looked up when he was being called by Susan. He nodded to Caspian and headed over to talk to his sister.

Caspian shuffled away into the large field, the field of the battle, the field he would die in.

He hadn’t given it much thought. It was simple to him. If there was a war (which there definitely would be) then obviously there would be some injuries. Caspian knew he could pass it off as an accidental death. And then all would be sorted because all Miraz wanted was the throne in the first place.

It was the perfect plan in his eyes. He would not need to think of Estella everyday. Because it was so unbearably painful without her, he could not go on. And perhaps it would be a tragedy if the prince’s life was lost, but the life with Miraz as king wouldn’t be so bad?

“Thinking?” Queen Lucy disturbed his silent thoughts. Her bright, innocent smile made it seem impossible to think that she had been a queen over a thousand years before Caspian was born.

“Yes,” Caspian laughed, and it was something he hadn’t done in a long time. The last time he really laughed was with Estella...

“About?” Lucy questioned. “Sorry my brother is rather... he likes to take control of things... he’s really a pig. He’s awful about this war.”

“He thinks what he has to,” Caspian defended. “And... well, I was thinking of my old life. Back in Telmar.”

“Ooh,” Lucy nodded, her eyes wide. “Was it nice there? It must be better than England.”

Caspian knew that they had come from a strange land, and that must be it.

“England,” he tried it out on his tongue. “Well, Telmar is very... hot. In the summer. But it is nice.”

“Nicer than England, I bet,” Lucy sighed dreamily. “You must miss it there. I know that sometimes when I go to back to England, I miss Narnia terribly.”

“Oh,” Caspian nodded. “I do miss Telmar... terribly.”

“I’m sorry,” Lucy sulked. “Well, you’ll get to see it again when we win the war.” She leaned forward. “I know we’re going to win. Aslan will help us; I know it.”

Caspian nodded again, his lips not wanting to speak. “I hope he helps you.” ‘You’ and not ‘us’, Caspian thought, because I will not be here to witness the victory.

“Don’t worry, he’ll help you too,” Lucy continued on gleefully. “He always helps everyone. He’s very kind. And good.”

“So I have heard,” Caspian sighed. “All of this is new to me; I must apologize.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Lucy smiled, for it never left her face. “I’m sure Pete or Susan or Edmund will help you get used to it. I’ll help you, if you like. You say you were a prince your whole life? Lucky. Last year my dad was sent to war and we were sent to live with Professor Kirke. And then I found the wardrobe to Narnia!”

Caspian raised an eyebrow. What a tale. But then again, it did seem correct, except for the ‘year ago’ part. It had been a thousand and some years since the Golden Age. But Caspian continued to listen to her story for the rest of the afternoon until it was time to eat.

“Lu’s making friends,” Peter noted when Caspian and Lucy returned to the camp for lunch.

“Peter,” Susan warned, but Lucy shook her head.

“You all are so wound up about this war that’s going to happen, but hasn’t even started yet. I hate when you all are like this.”

Edmund spoke up. “You don’t even get to fight, Lucy. It’s not fair if you get to relax and we have to worry about our lives.”

“If we just waited for Aslan—”

“We can’t wait for him, when Miraz’s army is nearly across the bridge with their weapons!” Susan cut in. “Now stop. We all have to eat.”

Caspian thought of Estella then, and thought of her cooking. He remembered the wonderful smells as he sat with her in her kitchen and watched her. He remembered all her delicious meals, and he couldn’t get the memories out of his head. His stomach rumbled, but he ignored it. “I am not hungry. I will see you all later.”

“Oh,” they all said, but Caspian had already wandered away.