Medically Speaking You're Adorable

I was huddled in the very corner of the couch, my arms resting upon my knees, my fingers clasped around the small blue bowl. My stomach grumbled, it must have been pretty loud because Gerard’s eyes shot towards me. He had gotten me ice cream, some for Mikey as well, but I hadn’t touched mine yet, sure I was hungry but it’s hard to think and eat something freezing cold at the same time. He was looking at me strangely, I had complained of my hungry only minutes ago and now, now I wouldn’t even have a spoonful.

I’m such an idiot.

I could tell he was worried and all I did was sit here, curled on the couch, my eyes now focused on a small photo of Mikey and Gee when they were just kids.

The room was a little tense, sure Mikey seemed fine with it but of course it’s going to be awkward, at first anyway, it always is. Though I don’t really know what I’m talking about since I’ve never had a boyfriend or even a girlfriend before.

Mikey had just finished his ice cream, he left to clean up his bowl, shooting a small, polite smile in my direction.

Damn I knew it would be like this.

Hey, I wonder were Mama Donna is? I just realised she hasn’t greeted me with the usual hug, I miss her.

“Gerard, where’s Donna?”

His head snapped away from the window, now facing me. He seemed shocked I had spoken, I don’t have a clue why though.

“Huh?”

“Where is Donna?” I asked him again, I really wanted to know, I thought she was going to be home today.

“Oh, Mum and Dad went to visit Aunty Rose. I didn’t want to go and since Mikey was coming home they let me stay behind. Can’t say I mind, Aunt Rose is loopy.”

“Is she the one who thinks I look liked her when she was young?” I asked wrinkling my nose at the memory of an old saggy woman telling me we apparently looked a like.

“Ha, you remember that?”

I just shuddered and I’m sure it answered his question.

“Babe aren’t you going to eat it, and don’t tell me your not hungry, I know you are.”

I didn’t answer him, just swung my head back to look at photo of Gerard and Mikey. I felt out of place, and surely Mikey can’t like it very much, if it was happening to me….

I’d made up my mind and I wasn’t going to change it, sure I didn’t want to but it would be better for both brothers if I did.

Gerard’s not going to be too pleased though, not after everything that happened today.

I swirled my spoon around in the bowl, the ice cream had melted into the consistency of soup, like hell I’ll be eating it now. The pink had mixed in with the brown and the vanilla had completely disappeared.

“Frank, what’s wrong, stop just sitting there, just stop.” Gee’s voice broke me from the trance I was in, bringing me back from the ice swirls and making me refocus on my decision.

“This… I’m making it all awkward Gee, it’s just all wrong.” I looked back at the ice cream becoming frustrated at the disgusting colour it was slowly turning.

“What! What the hell are you talking about Frankie, you’ve gotten me confused babe.”

“It’s just that, now we’ve told Mikey, I think I should…”

“You-u should what Frankie?”

“Well, you’ve always been close, you and Mikes, but now, what if it turns bad, what if it turns awkward? I should just leave you for awhile, it’s meant to be you and Mikey but I’ve just made it… weird. Then you two can spend some time together, it’ll be good for you.”

I hopped up, walking over to the kitchen with my bowl of the disgusting sludge. I need to put it in the sink before I leave, it would be rude not to.

I place the bowl under the water, cringing slightly, the colour was sickening.

I could hear Gee get up, I guess to say goodbye, it would probably be best if I left as soon as possible, give him more time.

As I walked into the hall I was taken back, Gerard looked up at me frantically, his eyes shining, his cheeks flushed. I didn’t know what was wrong with him, he just stood there staring, an obvious frown marked across his face. I was getting scared, I knew it was something I had done, I’d caused this somehow.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him, my voice breaking half way, the end of my question being partly choked out.

“Franki-ie, he really doesn’t mind okay, he’s fine with it seriousl-ly. Just please, don’t-t leave, don’t leave me.”

“But Gerard, I have to, you and Mikey need.. I don’t know what they call it, family bonding or whatever. You see me all the time, I think, I think that you need to spend some time with him. I promise to come see you Monday afternoon, pinkie swear.”

I held out my pinkie to make the promise but quickly drew it back as a single tear seeped from Gerard’s eye, slowing trailing down his soft cheek.

Surprisingly he didn’t look upset, no, more like relieved.

“Gerard what’s wrong with you.”

I carefully made my way over to him, I was afraid he was angry with me, he didn’t look angry though, he just stood there, one of his hands over his heart. The tear had disappeared, the only trace of it left being the silvery path it made as it slid.

I gingerly wrapped my arms around his waist, letting my head connect to his chest, I could hear his heart beating, not the usual thump, much faster, as if he’d been running. I nuzzled his chest just a little, trying to make him better, it probably wouldn’t work but this was the only way I knew how.

Then he just started laughing, shit this was scaring me, it’s like one of those horror movies, not the ones with vampires or werewolves, no, more like the psychological thrillers, the ones that creep you out and keep you guessing. Honestly I can’t believe I just compared this to a movie, I’m getting sadder and sadder by the day, soon I’ll be able to relate my whole life to some romance film.

He was hugging me, tightly I might add, the whole time I was just staring up at him blankly, what the fucking hell had come over Gerard?

I could really only think of one answer for it all.

“Gerard… have you been-n… possessed?”

He stopped, finally, and looked at me like I was the crazy one, me! Though at the moment I quite well could be, maybe he made a joke and I didn’t catch on, I’m never good with jokes, most of the time they just confuse me.

“Aww shit Frankie, you... you don’t know how much you scared me back there.”

“What did I do?”

My eyes were wide and I continued to stare at him, still wondering if he had in fact been taken over by some supernatural being. I’ve read a lot about being possessed and by the way Gerard’s acting, he might just be, maybe?

“Baby, you said you were going leave me, leave me.”

“Yeah I know, but I’ll see you soon, you’ve really got to spend more time with Mikey, I know he’s my best friend too, but you guys are brothers.”

“No… babe, when you said you were leaving me, because it was awkward, I thought you meant forever, I thought you-u meant we were over.” He sighed softly.
“I thought you were breaking up with me.”

Oh, I guess it all made sense now, I really am the slowest seventeen year old on the planet, how could I say all those things and not realise it? How the hell did I not see I caused him to experience the rejection, experience the pain, how could I have hurt him like that?

“No, no Gee, no fucking way, I-I love you.” I was getting more and more angry at myself by the second, my fists clenched at my sides, the thoughts running through my head weren’t far from degrading. My cheeks were flushing red, they always do, my eyes gleaming with unshed tears. I was acting like such a baby, I’m surprised he wants me.

I’m surprised anyone wants me.

Gerard could tell, he knew what I was thinking. I let my emotions take control so easily and he knows how to read me well. He hugged me, not tightly, this time it was gentle, comforting. One of his hands fell through my hair, slipping in and out, from scalp to ends. The other was still wrapped around my chest, allowing me to hide my face, hide my embarrassment, and hide my anger as I nuzzled closer. My quiet sobs muffled by the soft fabric of his t-shirt. His lips were at my ear, I could feel his breath softly caressing my skin, my neck, and it calmed a little.

“Sshh Baby, I know you didn’t mean it. Frankie you just scared me a little, I’m fine I swear.”

He was lying; I saw what he looked like when I came back. He shouldn’t have to lie just to make me feel better, his feelings are so much more important to mine, honestly I should be grovelling at his feet to still love me, hell I should have been grovelling since day one.

I pulled away from him, “You’re a liar!” I didn’t mean to hiss at him but he shouldn’t lie to me, he just shouldn’t.

“No Frankie, babe you’ve got to calm down, please? I’m fine now, I am, and it’s the truth.”

“Really?” I sniffed a little.

“Of course baby, I wouldn’t lie to you, you know I wouldn’t.” He said as he held his arms out, pouting at me adorably.

I walked back, of course I would, I love him, I need him and right now I sound like my Aunty rose when she reads out pages of her romance novels to my mum when ever we’re over Nanna’s. I try to keep well away when she does, that stuff is like porn, novel style with romance sprinkled in between sex scenes.

I was back in his arms, my tears almost dried up, my short fingers running along his spine.

“I still better leave Gee, just for today and tomorrow, I promise just for today and tomorrow.”

He sighed a little, “Well if you want to, I guess it would be a good idea to hang out with Mikes for a while.”

“Yeah, yeah it’s good, I can see you on Monday then.”

We made our outside, after my quick farewell to Mikey.

I tugged Gerard along as he barely moved down the front path, tightening my grip on his hand I tugged again, giggled has he stumbled a little.

“Geeeerard, moveeee.” I whined.

“Aw, is that how it is? You just want me to hurry up so you can leave and have an awesome weekend without me.” He pouted at me, crossing his arms with a fake frown set on his face.

“Well of course that’s how it is!” I joked, sticking my tongue out.

I grabbed his hand again, my tugging continuing.

We reached my front door, my hand a little sore from gripping onto his so strongly, well strongly for me anyway. Gee was still pouting at me, standing with his hip jutted out like some extremely pissed woman.

“Aww Gee, you know I don’t want to leave, I’m just joking around baby. No awesome weekend for Frank, I swear.” I laughed at him a little, rolling my eyes at his mock glare.

I opened my arms and I was hugged almost straight away, so much for his fake anger.

“See you later Geeeeee.”

“Bye Frankie, love you.” I beamed up at him, loving the fact he said it.

“Well I love you.” I whispered back like it was some great secret, like it was the secret recipe for my mum’s chocolate fudge.

Hah, I just compared that to fudge, I’m such a loser, but damn that fudge is fucking awesome.

I pecked his cheek on tip toes, not really wanting to kiss him, I’d been sick once today and after everything I don’t really feel.. up to it I guess. It would be terrible if I was sick in his mouth.

Argh, I’m so screwed in the head sometimes.

“See you Frankie.” He started to walk down the path, back to his house, back to his living room, back to his brother.

I waved goodbye one last time.

This is going to be one damn boring weekend.

I want him back already.