Pushing My Limits
One.
I looked in the bathroom mirror, my long black hair brushing against my shoulder blades. I stared at my pale face, covered in make-up, my eyes outlined in black eyeliner and the eye shadow that made my face looked bruised and swollen.
I pulled at my fringe, pushing it in front of my eyes, there you go. That completes the look I have to live up to. It created a blanket in front of my eyes, allowing me to see most of the world around me, but covering my face from them. Through my hair, the world seemed patchy, edgy and somehow more intimidating - or maybe that was just the mask of my personality I wore once I had brushed my fringe over my face, maybe that was who I'd learnt to become after all this time.
I smiled at myself in the mirror, my snake-bites glistening as the dim glow of the bathroom light-bulb caught the metal.
No, it looks too fake. Shaking my head, I smiled again, different technique: show more teeth.
There, thats as real as it's ever gonna get. No one has noticed yet. None of my "adoring" fans.
"Sonny, five minutes until we go on" I heard Matt say as he knocked on the door.
"Okay, I'll be out in a minute" I muttered. I knew the drill: as soon as I let myself out, everyone would fuss over me, pull at my clothes, my hair. Prod me with make up. Then someone would thrust a microphone into my hand, point at the row of guitars and push me the direction of the stage.
I stepped back and looked at the full view of myself in the mirror. My black skinny jeans clung onto my legs, showing every muscle, every tiny bit of fat, my t-shirt was black - one from the 'affliction' brand. They had sent me a selection of their t-shirts; they want publicity.
I have to use them though, it's not like Epitaph will give me any money to buy some new clothes.
I took a deep breath, bracing myself for the next two hours and unlocked the door. I walked out and Travis pushed past me, undoing his zip as he walked past.
"At last" I heard him mutter as he rushed past me.
"Two minutes!" Someone shouted, i think it was the woman with the clipboard, she gave me a look and pointed a couple of people in my direction.
"Ugh! What have you done?" One of them exclaimed as they reached me, they stretched out a hand and pushed at my hair, pushing it further in front of my eyes.
"DON'T MOVE" Someone screeched as i turned my head to look for Derek. "I am trying to do your make up" he agonized and brushed on yet more white powder.
Someone pulled at my trousers, pulling them down, so my boxers could be seen over the top, then a belt was being tied around my waist. I didn't need to look, i could guess it was a studded belt, i could guess it was loose,only tied through one belt loop in my trousers.
"Please, I'm fine" I muttered, wincing as the man with the make-up poked me in the eye with the stick of eyeliner.
"ONE MINUTE"
Travis rushed out from behind me and ran over to Derek, discussing something or other. I longed to go over, to be able to talk with them. But no, i wasn't good enough, I had to look...
Perfect.
"THIRTY SECONDS"
Someone pushed a microphone into my hand, and i was shoved in the direction of the stage. Regaining my balance, i gripped my microphone and walked center stage. The curtain was down, but behind it, i heard screams, talking, yells. The buzz of excited fans.
I looked around and spotted my guitar on the guitar stand, next to Matt's which had been drop-tuned.
I glanced down at the set-list by my feet, we were in Manchester. That was in England right? I'd given up trying to know anymore.
Right, Manchester, Mothersound first. Manchester, Mothersound. Manchester, Mothersound.
I looked over at Matt, he smiled at me, easing my nerves. Ha, nerves. I wish that's all it was.
The curtain rose in front of us, and the lights dimmed, spotlights now focusing on me and my band mates. Blinding me. I blinked and tried to get rid of the dancing white lights in my eyes and as Matt strummed his first chord i Lent forward into the Mich stand, smiled my fake smile and screamed...
"ARE YOU READY TO ROCK MANCHESTER??!"
I pulled at my fringe, pushing it in front of my eyes, there you go. That completes the look I have to live up to. It created a blanket in front of my eyes, allowing me to see most of the world around me, but covering my face from them. Through my hair, the world seemed patchy, edgy and somehow more intimidating - or maybe that was just the mask of my personality I wore once I had brushed my fringe over my face, maybe that was who I'd learnt to become after all this time.
I smiled at myself in the mirror, my snake-bites glistening as the dim glow of the bathroom light-bulb caught the metal.
No, it looks too fake. Shaking my head, I smiled again, different technique: show more teeth.
There, thats as real as it's ever gonna get. No one has noticed yet. None of my "adoring" fans.
"Sonny, five minutes until we go on" I heard Matt say as he knocked on the door.
"Okay, I'll be out in a minute" I muttered. I knew the drill: as soon as I let myself out, everyone would fuss over me, pull at my clothes, my hair. Prod me with make up. Then someone would thrust a microphone into my hand, point at the row of guitars and push me the direction of the stage.
I stepped back and looked at the full view of myself in the mirror. My black skinny jeans clung onto my legs, showing every muscle, every tiny bit of fat, my t-shirt was black - one from the 'affliction' brand. They had sent me a selection of their t-shirts; they want publicity.
I have to use them though, it's not like Epitaph will give me any money to buy some new clothes.
I took a deep breath, bracing myself for the next two hours and unlocked the door. I walked out and Travis pushed past me, undoing his zip as he walked past.
"At last" I heard him mutter as he rushed past me.
"Two minutes!" Someone shouted, i think it was the woman with the clipboard, she gave me a look and pointed a couple of people in my direction.
"Ugh! What have you done?" One of them exclaimed as they reached me, they stretched out a hand and pushed at my hair, pushing it further in front of my eyes.
"DON'T MOVE" Someone screeched as i turned my head to look for Derek. "I am trying to do your make up" he agonized and brushed on yet more white powder.
Someone pulled at my trousers, pulling them down, so my boxers could be seen over the top, then a belt was being tied around my waist. I didn't need to look, i could guess it was a studded belt, i could guess it was loose,only tied through one belt loop in my trousers.
"Please, I'm fine" I muttered, wincing as the man with the make-up poked me in the eye with the stick of eyeliner.
"ONE MINUTE"
Travis rushed out from behind me and ran over to Derek, discussing something or other. I longed to go over, to be able to talk with them. But no, i wasn't good enough, I had to look...
Perfect.
"THIRTY SECONDS"
Someone pushed a microphone into my hand, and i was shoved in the direction of the stage. Regaining my balance, i gripped my microphone and walked center stage. The curtain was down, but behind it, i heard screams, talking, yells. The buzz of excited fans.
I looked around and spotted my guitar on the guitar stand, next to Matt's which had been drop-tuned.
I glanced down at the set-list by my feet, we were in Manchester. That was in England right? I'd given up trying to know anymore.
Right, Manchester, Mothersound first. Manchester, Mothersound. Manchester, Mothersound.
I looked over at Matt, he smiled at me, easing my nerves. Ha, nerves. I wish that's all it was.
The curtain rose in front of us, and the lights dimmed, spotlights now focusing on me and my band mates. Blinding me. I blinked and tried to get rid of the dancing white lights in my eyes and as Matt strummed his first chord i Lent forward into the Mich stand, smiled my fake smile and screamed...
"ARE YOU READY TO ROCK MANCHESTER??!"
♠ ♠ ♠
So, what do you think?