As God Has Made Us.

And it’s true we are immune
When fact is fiction and TV reality
And today the millions cry
We eat and drink while tomorrow they die.

Sunday, Bloody Sunday
Sund- *beep*

“Alright! I get it! It’s Sunday! I’m up!” I yelled at no one in particular, turning off my alarm clock. I really like my alarm actually. You can set a different song each day; which is good in my case because otherwise I would have no idea what day it was. I have a system: Sundays it plays Sunday Bloody Sunday by U2; Mondays it plays Manic Monday by the Bangles; Tuesday is Tuesday’s Gone by Lynyrd Skynyrd; Wednesdays it’s Wednesday Morning by Slackstring; Thursday- Thursdays Child by David Bowie, Fridays are Friday I’m in Love by The Cure; and finally on Saturdays it plays Saturday in the Park by Chicago. But I digress.

So it’s now Sunday, and also, life changing, pick up Frank day. I figure it’s a 25 minute drive tops so I figured I’d leave around 1:00 PM…and right now it’s…9:30AM. Okay so that gives me about…210 minutes to make myself presentable.

**************ONE HOUR LATER**************
Okay now that I’m done beautifying myself….. I know what you’re thinking, shut up.
I still have two and a half hours left so…I guess I’ll go…somewhere?
….
….
….
The Mall!
I could always use more useless shit.

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Okay that killed an hour and a half. Now to head to Starbucks then to pick up Frank.
My gosh, this day is taking forever.

Half an hour later at Starbucks I just get a black coffee. That’s it. No mocha-jappa-latte-frapuccino low-fat with extra foam and cinnamon sprinkled on top or whatever those messed up thing people are drinking now. I decide to do something I hadn’t done in a while, buy a newspaper and actually read the articles. So I sat in Starbucks reading the newspaper for about 30 minutes. And of course I got another coffee over that time period. The news lately seemed all the same; war, charity, disabilities, celebrities. Same-old, same-old. Seeing how it is now….12:56 PM I figured I’d start to head for Frank’s house.

I drive till I get to the highway. While trying to merge in a truck comes speeding out of nowhere. I swerve and just barely avoid hitting the barrier. I do, however, run oven a broken bottle and slash open my tire. Not good.

You see, I’m one of the people who never learned how to change a tire and the closest gas station was a mile away on the other side of the freeway.

I tried to get my cell phone out of my jean pocket so I could call my brother. Just as I do a car passes by scaring me and making my phone fly out of my hand into the middle of the highway, where a supermarket truck just happened to run over it. Just wonderful.

It’s times like these my ability comes in handy; I can imprint a question into passing drivers’ minds as to what I need to do. There’s one problem though, said drivers are speeding by at about 60+ miles per hour. Therefore the process that would normally take me only 30 minutes to do, took me 30 minutes….plus an extra hour! Then another 30 minutes driving to the nearest gas station and getting my tire properly changed.

The clock here says that it is now 3:09 PM.

I feel like a major ass. Frank must think I abandoned him or something! If I speed a little I can make it there in 20 minutes at the most.

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Approximately 20 minutes later and several near police encounters I make it to the address Frank gave me.

Let’s hope he isn’t too mad….