If I Woke up Next to You...
oneofone.
...I'd died from a heart attack. It'd be the first time since the first time. It'd be the best possible thing for me. It'd be the best birthday present you could give me.
26. 10 years, Pete, 10 YEARS. I've loved you that long and you've used me for five of those years.
21. We celebrated it with clubs, techno, beats, close bodies, alcohol. We ended up in your bed.
26. What are you going to do to my heart now?
A soft knock, a quiet yell of my name. Oh, how I want to tell you. Soft steps to the door, the click of the lock. The creak of the door, the sudden breathlessness, and the smiles shared.
"Claire...I've missed you." you whisper. Bullshit. You miss your easy access to a girl hopelessly in love with you. But I smile.
"I've missed you too Pete." I say and you sweep me up into a hug. We laugh at the greeting you've given me each year on my birthday.
"26. How does it feel?" you ask and I smile again, just by your closeness.
"Older. 365 days older, 8,760 hours older, 525,600 minutes old-" you cut me off with a soft kiss.
"You always do talk too much." you whisper with your special smile just for me on your face. You know, the soft one filled with lies laced with love.
"Shut up and kiss me." I order and you laugh.
"Oh, NOW you want to shut up." You say before I crash my lips against yours.
It always ends the same, Pete. Loud thumps, stumbles and slips, laughter, and heatedlove lust.
The fall onto the bed, the moans, and whispered promises. "I'll call, I'll write." You always tell me right before. And now?
Now you're sleeping. Your chest rises and falls. Do you see the tears on this piece of paper?
The cancer, oh god, the cancer. They found it too late. There was never any hope for me Pete. Now there's only you and me, with you sleeping through my last hours.
Yes, my last hours. They told me yesterday that I've about a day left to live. I'm dying Pete. I'm fading fast and no one knows. I've told no one. And I've spent my last hours happily with you.
My hand is beginning to shake; can you see it in my writing? Oh, what am I doing know as I feel the life draining away from me? I love yo...
The note trails off and I cry silently with her empty shell next to me. I promised myself that this time would be different. I'd be here in the morning, I'd be here for her forever. I was going to be here to be with her.
The tears fall silently and I dial the numbers. "Hello, 911 operators."
"My girlfriend just died of cancer. Could-could you send something over for her b-body?" my words catch in my throat and I cry silently. I know now that she wouldn't mind me calling her that. The operator asks for the address and I give it to her through tears.
I hear the ambulance before I see it from her fire escape. I climb back into the apartment and look at her face one last time privately. I lean down and kiss her lips one last time.
"I love you Claire Bennet. It should have been Claire Wentz...And Claire? It's been 11 years since I fell in lust with you, 10 years since I had the nerve to talk to you, 9 3/4 of a year since I fell in love with you. It's been five years since I showed you I love you. And it's been 30 minutes without you and I already know I'll never be the same. I may learn to love someone else later in life, but it will always be YOU that I'm IN love with. I love you Claire, I love you always and forever." Tears run down my face and land on her face. I wipe away the tears and sit next to her on her bed, crying as the paramedics come in.
I sit there crying as one of them tries to talk to me. I cry harder when that black bag zips over her face.
"She's really gone. She's never coming back..." I whisper to myself and sob.
26. 10 years, Pete, 10 YEARS. I've loved you that long and you've used me for five of those years.
21. We celebrated it with clubs, techno, beats, close bodies, alcohol. We ended up in your bed.
26. What are you going to do to my heart now?
A soft knock, a quiet yell of my name. Oh, how I want to tell you. Soft steps to the door, the click of the lock. The creak of the door, the sudden breathlessness, and the smiles shared.
"Claire...I've missed you." you whisper. Bullshit. You miss your easy access to a girl hopelessly in love with you. But I smile.
"I've missed you too Pete." I say and you sweep me up into a hug. We laugh at the greeting you've given me each year on my birthday.
"26. How does it feel?" you ask and I smile again, just by your closeness.
"Older. 365 days older, 8,760 hours older, 525,600 minutes old-" you cut me off with a soft kiss.
"You always do talk too much." you whisper with your special smile just for me on your face. You know, the soft one filled with lies laced with love.
"Shut up and kiss me." I order and you laugh.
"Oh, NOW you want to shut up." You say before I crash my lips against yours.
It always ends the same, Pete. Loud thumps, stumbles and slips, laughter, and heatedlove lust.
The fall onto the bed, the moans, and whispered promises. "I'll call, I'll write." You always tell me right before. And now?
Now you're sleeping. Your chest rises and falls. Do you see the tears on this piece of paper?
The cancer, oh god, the cancer. They found it too late. There was never any hope for me Pete. Now there's only you and me, with you sleeping through my last hours.
Yes, my last hours. They told me yesterday that I've about a day left to live. I'm dying Pete. I'm fading fast and no one knows. I've told no one. And I've spent my last hours happily with you.
My hand is beginning to shake; can you see it in my writing? Oh, what am I doing know as I feel the life draining away from me? I love yo...
The note trails off and I cry silently with her empty shell next to me. I promised myself that this time would be different. I'd be here in the morning, I'd be here for her forever. I was going to be here to be with her.
The tears fall silently and I dial the numbers. "Hello, 911 operators."
"My girlfriend just died of cancer. Could-could you send something over for her b-body?" my words catch in my throat and I cry silently. I know now that she wouldn't mind me calling her that. The operator asks for the address and I give it to her through tears.
I hear the ambulance before I see it from her fire escape. I climb back into the apartment and look at her face one last time privately. I lean down and kiss her lips one last time.
"I love you Claire Bennet. It should have been Claire Wentz...And Claire? It's been 11 years since I fell in lust with you, 10 years since I had the nerve to talk to you, 9 3/4 of a year since I fell in love with you. It's been five years since I showed you I love you. And it's been 30 minutes without you and I already know I'll never be the same. I may learn to love someone else later in life, but it will always be YOU that I'm IN love with. I love you Claire, I love you always and forever." Tears run down my face and land on her face. I wipe away the tears and sit next to her on her bed, crying as the paramedics come in.
I sit there crying as one of them tries to talk to me. I cry harder when that black bag zips over her face.
"She's really gone. She's never coming back..." I whisper to myself and sob.
♠ ♠ ♠
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