Wreckage From the Past Haunts Me; Shakes Me to the Bone

“Tegan stop giggling!” I whispered as I stood above Jimmy’s sleeping form. I thought about it for a moment wondering how we were going to do this since he’s a light sleeper. I thought about it before nodding over at Tegan. She stood on the other side of the bed before taking the caps off of the washable paints she had. I know what you’re thinking. Why are you using washable paints? Right? Well because it’s going on the bed and I’m not staining a very nice bed. I smiled over at her and nodded. We both poured the paint all over his torso making a nice canvas of purple, red, black and green. I saw him shoot up, before he looked down at his chest a glared.

“Oh shit.” I said as we both backed away from the bed. He stood up making the paint slide down his chest. Now I’m glad he has hardwood floors because it was going to get paint all over. He smirked at us before he lunged making us scream and run into the livingroom where Zacky, Johnny and Nikki were currently sitting.

“Save me oh short one!” I yelled as I jumped behind Johnny as Tegan hid behind Zacky. I thought about it before I calmly stood up and walked behind Nikki instead making everyone laugh.

“What did you do?” Zacky asked Tegan ask he smiled at her.

“Well see yesterday Jimmy dumped a lot of paint on me so today I got Tegan to help me dump paint on him and now he’s gonna kill me.” I said really fast before I yelped as I saw Jimmy standing at the end of the hall with paint still dripping down his chest. Their eyes widen as me and Tegan started to laugh. He shook his head and walked back into the room.

“That was too easy.” Tegan said as she relaxed a bit. I nodded before I felt someone throw me over their shoulder. I screamed as Jimmy laughed his creepy laugh. (The one from A little Piece Of Heaven and Afterlife) He walked out to the pool area and before I knew it I was screaming as my back hit the water. I swam back up and took a deep breath and saw that by now everyone was outside and laughing. Jimmy looked over at Tegan before smiling even wider when he saw her attention was on me. He took his hands and smeared the paint all over his hand before walking up behind her and rubbing it all over her face. I heard her gasp as Jimmy pushed her in the pool as well. Jimmy smiled before diving in as well making the pool several colors. I laughed and hugged him before we all got out of the pool and took a shower.

“So what are you doing today?” Jimmy asked as he pulled on his socks and shoes. The guys were going out to get a few more things for the house before finishing it up so he was kicking me and the girls out of the house.

“Umm...I think we might go just sit at Nikki and Johnny’s house and wash all of the clothes and watch movies. Maybe go pick up a few things before tour starts up again.” I said as I pulled on my dark blue destroyed shorts before putting on my “The Rev’s Sex Slave” shirt. I leaned over and slipped on my converse and tied them.

“That we be a good idea. We only have three days left before we go back.” He said as he hung his head. Leaving the kids is going to be really hard for both of us. I crawled across the bed and wrapped my arms around his shoulders and rested my chin on my arms. He smiled at me through the mirror in front of his bed as he rested his hands on my arms. I moved my head so it was in the crook of his neck. He tilted his head and rubbed his against mine making me giggle slightly.

“This is going to suck.” I said as I realized that this was the first time that I was actually leaving Aidyn.

“It’ll be hard for the first few days, but it’ll get better. You’re not leaving him. You’re going to work.” Jimmy said softly as he looked me in the eyes. I nodded knowing he was right before kissing him lightly. He stood up and pulled me into his grasped. I laughed a little as I wrapped my legs around his waist and rested my head on his shoulder. He walked out into the livingroom where everyone else was and sat down on the couch after he fixed my legs.

“Ready to go?” Nikki asked as she got up. I nodded and got up after kissing Jimmy bye. I grabbed my purse off of the table and walked towards the door. We walked out to Nikki’s Dodge Challenger.

“So has Johnny ever driven your baby?” I asked sitting in the front since my legs were longer.

“Nope.” Nikki said with a smirk.

“Has he asked?”

“Oh yeah he asked. Instead I built him one.” She said as she laughed.

“You know Trista?”

“Yeah?” I asked as tegan looked at me.

“Jimmy needs a car for Sunday and you and Nikki like to rebuild them. Chances are by the time you get it done it’ll be around February 10.”

“You see that’s why you’re the older sister. You come up with better ideas.” I said as I laughed. It was a really good idea.

“We totally should.” Nikki said as she turned the corner to her favorite junk yard, which was actually owned by her dad.

“Morning Dad!” I yelled as I ran over to him. He laughed and shook his head. No I do not call him anything but Dad. Never have! I used to walk into there house and say “Hey dad where’s my allowance?” and I got about 10 dollars, but I really think that was to get out of his house.

“Morning my adopted daughters.” He said as he hugged us before moving on to Nikki, “Morning baby girl.”

“Morning dad!” She said as she smiled. I want a relationship like that!

“At least Aidyn and Vicki will.” Tegan whispered. I nodded knowing it was true.

“So what do you girls need?” he asked as he wiped his hands on a rag that was next to him.

“We need to look at your fords.” I said.

“Fixing up another car?”

“Yep! For Jimmy. He has a car for every day of the week except Sunday, so Tegan said why don’t we give him one for his birthday.” Nikki explained.

“Well what kind of Ford?”

“That’s the thing we don’t know. I was thinking maybe an old Ford Mustang. I mean he has one, but it’s a newer one. It’s a 2007. Maybe we can do an old Boss?” He nodded and motioned for us to follow him.

“To me it sounds like you girls want an old Muscle car.” He said as he took us over near the older cars, “Have fun!”

“He just walked away.” Tegan said as she laughed. She never really came here with us. Yeah she helped with the cars, but she always said this was mine and Nikki’s thing, but I have news for her. She is helping with this car!

“Hey Trista?” Nikki called after about an hour of searching and being covered in dirt. I wanted a car that really stood out. One that, I know it’s retarded for even saying this, but I want a car that isn’t going to take too long to fix up. We get off of tour in December, but then we all take our usual week long trips away. Meaning that everyone and there other go away for about a week, which will give us a little over a month and a half to fix it up.

“Yeah?” I asked looking up from the roadrunner in front of me. I know it’s not a ford, but it’s pretty!

“Does it have to be a ford?”

“No not really.”

“I found a really nice 1969 Chevelle SS and it doesn’t look like it needs much work.” She said. I nodded and walked over to where her and Tegan were standing. The body was still in tack. There wasn’t a lot of rust spots. She popped the hood and looked in. We’d have to completely rebuild an engine and replace spark plugs and all of that good stuff, but it’ll work. Plus Chevelles are really nice cars.

“It’s an automatic too and has new tires.” Tegan said as she kicked the tire. I laughed and nodded.

“Go tell your dad!” I said as I smiled. She nodded and yelled for her dad.

“I could have done that.” I said as I looked at Nikki. She smiled innocently.

“You found the one.” He asked. We all nodded and he smiled.

“You girls know how to pick ‘em. We just got this one the other day.” He said as he called Darrel the Beagle as I call him. He’s short, but lean and knows how to find shit that you never wanted to find in the first place.

“Yeah boss?”

“Get this car for my girls and send it over to Nikki’s house right?” Nikki nodded and smiled.

“Darrel you drop my car and I kick your ass!” I said as he got the crane to move it on to the truck. He flipped me off before laughing and moving the car with ease. It safely made it to the truck before the driver got out and chained it up. The guy winked at us before driving out.

“Since your bank accounts gonna be drained from that car it’s free!” Dad said, “Plus you’ll need the money for my grandson’s college fund.” I laughed and nodded.

“Dad I’ll see you tonight at dinner ok? We need to go do laundry and get the rest of stuff for tour.” She said sadly. She’s really really close to her dad. She always spends the night like a week before tour with him watching all of the movies she did when she was younger. I think it might be more for him. He cried the first time she went on tour and when she moved out. She’s all he has left.

“Ok hun. I’ll see you later.” We walked out of the junk yard and over to the car once agin and got in.

“Why don’t we run to the house start a load of laundry and then go to the store?”

“Sounds good.” I said answering what Nikki said.

“Here you guys stay here and I’ll run in.” Nikki said as she ran to the front door. I rested my head against the back of the seat and sighed making Tegan laugh at me.

“What are you laughing at?” I asked.

“It’s just so funny.”

“What is?” I asked as I sat up and turned around to look at her.

“We were both with the guys when we were younger right?”

“Yeah.”

“And we all broke up with each other when they went on their first tour, but now were back together and you and Jimmy both have kids. We all thought Jocie and Matt would first. Leave it to the craziest ones out of the group to have the first kids.” I thought about it and laughed. It’s true both me and Jimmy were the craziest ones. I was always sneaking out and getting into fights where as everyone else was mild. I mean yeah we were all crazy but me and Jimmy were the worst.

“I never thought about it.” I said as I laughed.

“What are you girls talking about?” Nikki asked as she got back in the car.

“How ironic it is that Jimmy and Trista are the first to have kids.”

“It is isn’t it.” Nikki said as she thought, “God she was the worst. Always thrown in jail. How many times did my dad have to bail you out?”

“Define times?” I asked innocently. She laughed and shook her head.

“Hey I paid him back by working my ass of at the yard!” I said as I crossed my arms.

“Come on you big baby. We’re here.” Nikki said as she got out of the car. I nodded and got out with a sigh. We walked into Wally world we got the basic that we use on tour. Shampoo, one bottle for each of us, Conditioner, eyeliner, notebooks, pencils, eyeliner, a few Dvds, eyeliner...oh and did I mention eyeliner?

“Let’s go! There’s too many people!” I said as I walked only to see a bunch of kids with Angels shirts on. I walked back inside without them noticing.

“Let’s go the other way.” Nikki said as she saw what I saw.

“Yeah.” I said as I turned the other way. Once we got to Nikki’s house we pretty much vegged. We were drinking various sodas and now were helping her clean. We all were singing along to Country Boy by Alan Jackson.

“I think my house is now the cleanest house in the neighbor hood.” Nikki said as she laughed.

“We should order pizza!” I yelled as I jumped up and down. I might have had some Mt. Dew. They both nodded at me and smiled. Tegan walked into the kitchen and to order the pizza.

“We should have gotten the kids while we were out.” I said as I thought about it.

“Why?”

“Because I haven’t seen them in two days.” I said as I looked at her, “Plus they’re coming home tonight.”

“Well let’s go get them.” She said as she stood up. She told Tegan we were go and she said she’d stay and wait for the pizza. We quickly drove over to Jimmy’s old residence, which was only a five minute drive.

“Trista you weren’t supposed to come get the kids until later.” Mama Sullivan said as she opened the door.

“I know, but I miss them and thought I would save Jimmy the trip.” I said as me and Nikki followed her into the house. I saw Vicki on the floor playing with a doll I got her from Hot Topic. It was the doll from Nightmare before Christmas. I smiled over at Aidyn who was sitting in his play pin.

“Mama!” He screeched. I laughed when Vicki turned around.

“Mama!” She screamed as she ran to me. I laughed and kneeled on the floor so I could catch her. She hit me with a thud and wrapped her arms around my neck as I stood up.

“Did you have fun with Oma?”

“A lot!” She said as she jumped up in down in my arms. Aidyn whined and looked like he was going to cry so I quickly picked him up as well, balancing them on my arms perfectly. The both looked so cute. Vicki was in a black Harley Davidson shirt with orange trim and a intricate design on the front and a pair of jeans with a black guitar beanie. Aidyn was in a black onesie that said Carpi Deim: Seize the Day and Scream all night and his black pair of stretchy pants.

“I was just about to put them down for a nap.” Mama Sullivan said as she smiled up at me.

“Well then lets get going and I’ll put them to sleep at Nikki’s house.” I said as Aidyn rubbed his eyes and Vicki yawned. They both rubbed their heads on my shoulder making me smile. Nikki smiled as she looked up from her phone.

“Pizza’s at my house.” She said laughing slightly.

“Alright well I’ll walk you girls out to the car and help you get the car seats in.” Mama Sullivan said as she ushered us out of the house. I nodded and watched as they put the car seats in putting the kids in them before getting back out to hug Mama Sullivan.

“I’ll see you soon right? I think were all planning to go out the night before tour starts up.” I said as I walked over by the car. She nodded and smiled and waved to us as she walked into the house.

“What’s wrong with her?” Nikki asked as she drove back to her house.

“She’s just depressed. She’s got a broken heart ever since Owen passed.” No none of us ever called Owen Papa Sullivan or anything other then Mr. Sullivan and Owen. Not even Jimmy.

“I couldn’t to it without Johnny. I just..I don’t know what I would do.” She said as she got a sleeping Vicki out of the car.

“I know. I couldn’t live without Jimmy. I mean they were high school sweethearts. He put up with everything she went through and loved her with everything in him.” I said as we walked in. I saw Tegan dancing around singing Good Time by Alan Jackson.

“Doesn’t she look so cute?” I asked making Tegan fall off the couch she was dancing on and on to her ass.

“What’s with the Alan Jackson songs today?” Nikki asked.

“They’re good songs!” I said as I put Aidyn on the couch.

“You guys are assess.” Tegan said. She was still pouting on the floor. I laughed and took Vicki from Nikki and set her on the couch next to Aidyn.

“Pizza!” I cheered as I grabbed a piece pepperoni pizza and took a huge bit. They both laughed and me before they did the same.

“We should watch Johnny Depp movies!” Nikki said as she got up and turned on Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. I laughed and quietly watched one of my favorite movies. Yes it’s a kids movie, but Johnny Depp is awesome in it! My favorite part came on making me smile.

Everything in this room is eatable. Even I'm eatable. But that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

I smiled and yawn just as my phone rang.

“Hello?” I asked as I answered the phone.

Hey babe. I heard, but it wasn’t Jimmy’s voice, it was Brandon’s.

“How in the hell are you calling me?” I asked. Now I was panicking. There was no way he could be calling me. He was in jail. Nikki ran into her room and came out with a tape recorder. I raised my eyebrow and she shook her head and took my phone. She put it on speaker phone and presses the recording button on the recorder.

Just a friend babe. You know how I have friends everywhere. I told you I wasn’t going to be in jail long. As soon as I get out me and you can start our prefect relationship again. Me and you. Just the two of us.

“Leave me alone Brandon! I’m with Jimmy now and it never could be just the two of us! I have a son! I have my baby to take care of and as long as I’m around you Aidyn will never be safe.” I said. Tegan was rubbing my back and hugging me.

“Nikki’s calling the cops right now.” She whispered as Nikki stood up and walke dout of the livingroom.

You’re with Jimmy?! How dare you Cheat on me! I swear I’ll get you Trista! If it’s the last thing I do you will be mine again and I’ll make sure you never go against me again! Oh and don’t think your sister is out of this either! That little bitch called Matt! He said as the phone cut off. I swear I can picture his face. The veins in his forehead and neck popping out. Spit flying out of his mouth as he sneered. Tears were pouring down of my face as I thought more about it. He was getting out in just a few short weeks.

“He won’t get you honey.” Nikki said as she came over to me, “Do you want me to call Jimmy?”

“Please?” I asked as I tired harder and harder to stop. My breath was caught in my throat and stuck. My chest was getting too tight. I was having a panic attack. Tegan must have felt it too because she grabbed me off the couch and took me outside.

“Calm down sis.” She said as I sat in front of the door with my head between my legs. See this is why I need my big sister. Without her I truly would be lost. She’s saved me from a lot. She’s the reason I’m not depressed all of the time. I could see Aidyn and Vicki laying peacefully on the couch from where I was sitting which I was thankful for. I felt a hand on my back and I jumped only to see Jimmy looking at me worried. I clung to him and buried my head in his neck making him hold me tighter.

“He..he said he..was going to get me and Tegan. Please don’t let it happen. Please baby don’t let him get me or Aidyn.” I mumbled out, begging him to do what ever it took to keep me and Aidyn safe.

“I won’t let him get you baby. I promise.” he said pulling me even closer to the point to where it was hurting, but I didn’t care. I needed to be closer to him.

“Hey lets get you two inside.” Nikki said as she rubbed my back. I looked over at Tegan to see that now she was crying in Zacky’s arms. She wasn’t being the older sister anymore. She was letting it get to her. She needed to as bad as it sounds. I know we’ve both been through a lot, but she’s been through more. She’s always been there for me and been strong. She needed to be weak for once and now she has someone that she can do that with, because god knows she won’t ever be weak in my eyes. Jimmy picked me up as Zacky did the same to Tegan and took us both inside and set us on their laps. I looked over at Tegan really just didn’t know what to do. So I did the one thing I could think of. I leaned over and hugged her.

“I’m so sorry I got you into this. I should have never told you.” I said as I closed my eyes.

“Don’t be stupid. You would be dead then.”

“Yeah I know, but my big sister and my son would be safe.”

“You’re so stupid!” She yelled making me jump back, “your son would not be safe if you were dead. He wouldn’t have a mother. Plus I would rather be in this with you then you being in it by your self.”

“I’m so sorry though. God how could I have been so stupid!” I said as I got up and walked outside. Tegan followed shortly after.

“Stop putting your self down Trista!” She said as she grabbed me, “Look at yourself! You have a loving boyfriend, son and now a daughter. Stop letting him control your life! He’s not even near you and he’s getting to you! Change your number like we should have done when this first started. Stop letting him control your life and live it! He can’t hurt you anymore and I know each time you think about it you get these horrible flashes in your mind, but Trista you have to put it in the past. With all of the guys around no one is going to get you even if they tried! Hun I know how you feel because I went through it too. Mine was just as bad as what you went through.”

“You’re right.” I said as I sat on a lawn chair.

“I know. I’m the older sister.” She said smugly. I laughed and hugged her before getting up. She leaned on me as we walked by the pool when a devious thought came into my mind. I leaned a bit more into her as we walked towards the deeper end. She rested her head on my shoulder. Not even realize that we were near the pool until I pushed her in. She came back up and gasped at me.

“I help you and this is the thanks I get!”

“You also were being smug!” I said laughing. She laughed before splashing me. I gasped as the cold water hit my skin.

“You ass!” I yelled.

“You’re really calling me an ass? You threw me into the pool!”

“Pushed not threw!” I corrected making her shake her head before smiling. I didn’t realize what it was until I felt someone tackle me into the water. I swam up to see Zacky now looking like a drained rat. I laughed and splashed him. Jimmy stood over by the edge of the pool laughing.

“Come give me a kiss!” I yelled out.

“Hell no! You’re gonna pull me in.”

“No I won’t.” I said smiling. He nodded and leaned down to kiss me. Our lips met and I smiled before I saw Johnny behind him. I broke the kiss just as Johnny pushed him in.

“You said you won’t pull me in!” Jimmy yelled.

“I didn’t. Johnny pushed you!” I said truthfully. He looked over at the midget who was smoking and glared.

“Mama?” Vicki said as she walked out of the door.

“I guess we should get going.” I said seeing as it was nearly six.

“Yeah.” Jimmy said as he sighed. I dried off as much as I could and walked in the house. Nikki had Aidyn wrapped in a blanket. I took him from her and looked down at my sleeping baby boy before walking out of the house. Nikki and Johnny both walked us all outside and over to Jimmy’s SUV.

“I’m tired.” I said as I rested my head against Jimmy’s arm that was resting on the center console. I felt him lay a kiss to my head.

“Well call it an early night.” He said as he looked back at all three of the bodies that laid asleep. I smiled and laughed quietly before it was cut off by a yawn. Jimmy looked down at me and smiled again. He parked the car in his garage and turned off the car before turning to me.

“I was serious and being completely honest when I said that he won’t lay a hand on you.” He said softly. It seemed as if no one else was in the car.

“I know.” I said as I leaned over and kissed him. It was like his lips were made to fit with mine. He rested his hand on my cheek as mine went to the nape of his neck pulling him closer. His lips moved with mine before he pulled away. The whole kiss was short, but filled with a love that I never felt before. We parted and rested our heads against each others.

“Come on let’s get the kids inside and make dinner. Oh and it might be nice to get Vicki and Aidyn out of my car too.” Jimmy said chuckling. I nodded and laughed as well before I got out of the car. I opened the back door and gently shook Zacky. He woke up and smiled before chuckling and picking up Tegan. After he had jumped out of the car I picked up Aidyn and got him into the house as Jimmy got Vicki inside. Jimmy set Vicki on the couch and threw a purple throw, that was on the back of the couch, on her. I set Aidyn in his play pin before heading into the kitchen. By now my clothes were dry so I didn’t even think about changing. I got out hamburger meat, Italian breadcrumbs, and Olive Oil. I kneaded the Italian breadcrumb into the hamburger before making golf ball sized Meatballs. After I had those into a pan and put the lid on and started the sauce, which was just Prego traditional with some oregano and garlic salt, and then started the noddles.

“Smells good baby.” Jimmy said as he walked into the kitchen dressed in pj bottoms and a white shirt.

“Thank you.” I said as I yawned. He laughed and motioned for me to go over to him. I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes.

“Lets just eat and get to bed.” Jimmy said laughing. I nodded approving. After dinner, which involved waking up Vicki, Tegan and Zacky; feeding Aidyn his bottle and rocking him back to sleep; doing the dishes; and last but not least taking a shower, I was finally able to go to sleep. I laid in bed playing with Jimmy’s pillow. He went to turn the alarms on and lock all of the doors. I closed my eyes nearly falling asleep already. I heard the door open, but couldn’t open my eyes. A kiss was placed on my head as Jimmy got into bed behind me taking my spot instead of his. He wrapped his arms around me and I somehow managed to roll over and put my head on his chest; digging my head into his neck like I always do.

“Night baby.” He said as he kissed the knuckles on my hand that was resting on his shoulder.

“G’night.” I said as I feel into a deep sleep.