Wreckage From the Past Haunts Me; Shakes Me to the Bone

“Hey I’m so sorry, it took so long!” I said as I rushed into the house, drenched from head to toe from the down pour of water, but at least the Taco Bell was still warm and dry. They’d have to forgive me for that. Tegan looked over from her spot on their dark grey couch, where she was sitting with Zacky. You could see the worry in Zacky’s face, his eyes were screaming with concern. None of us had a good feeling about tonight, but Zacky’s family needed help. His poor mother was probably home alone tonight, since his father was often on business trips.

“About time.” Zacky said chuckling as he stood up, my sister glued to his side. A roll of thunder crashed through what few seconds of silence there was. I saw my sister jump lightly, but she calmed down immediately as Zacky tightened his grip on her waist.
“I’m sorry. I got stuck talking to Jimmy about something important.” I said as I looked down at the light wood that covered the floor, feeling ashamed that it took me so long to get over here. I saw Aidyn’s look out of the corner of my eye. His face was priceless, a pout on his lips, his dripping wet hair was dripping in his face and his arms were crossed over his chest.

“I’m so sorry baby.” I said as I hugged him tighter to me. I had been focused on being late, and trying to get out of the rain that I didn’t even think to cover Aidyn more than with just my arms. He smiled and shook his head, getting me even wetter than I was. I slowly opened my eyes and looked at the wider smile that was on my sons face.

“It’s fine sis.” He said as he laughed at me. He took Aidyn out of my arms and grabbed the diaper bag from me before walking back over to the couch. I smiled at Tegan who was watching Zacky play with Aidyn as he got him dressed. He was going to make an amazing father one day.

“Can I trade you tacos for a towel?” I asked Tegan as I held out the bag full of tacos. She smiled and nodded grabbing the bag from my hand and setting them on the dark wooden coffee table, before walking back to her bathroom. I walked over to the sink and rung out my hair a bit, watching the water run down the drain. I laughed as my head was suddenly weighed down by the weight of a towel.

“Go get changed before you get water all over my floors.” Zacky said like the diva we all know he can be, holding a now dry Aidyn. Tegan took the towel from my hand and walked over to Zacky before drying Aidyn’s hair.

“Oh no! The drying monster got you!” Zacky said as he held on tightly to a squirming and giggling Aidyn. I laughed quietly under my breath as I grabbed my bag and turned down the hallway to change my sopping clothing. The front bathroom of Zacky’s house was the smallest one, but was still big compared to an average bathroom. The dark wood of the vanity contrasted against the white walls and made the room seem bigger than it was. The bathtub was fairly large, spanning from one wall to the other, and lined with a dark tile boarder. I remember when Zacky put it in himself. A lot of people might not know, but Zacky’s a very “Do-it-yourself” type man. I don’t think he’s ever really hired someone to do it for him. I shook thoughts out of my head and focused on the task at hand. The sound of wet clothes hitting the floor met my ears as I changed quickly wanting nothing more than to get the ice cold fabric off of my frozen bones. I looked at myself in the mirror seeing my white shirt becoming wet thanks to my still dripping hair. I picked up the towel off of the rack and tried to dry out the rest of my hair was much as I could, but with little success. I huffed lightly under my breath as I gave up and decided to just go get Aidyn from Zacky.

“Ok, all done.” I said as I walked back out, setting my wet clothes on top of the basket Zacky was pointing to. He just smiled at Tegan, watching her happily sway back and forth and eat her tacos. I smiled knowing that tacos were the key to cheering everyone up. I mean who could stay mad when there was a taco in their face. I looked around the living room like I often did, taking in what they had changed since I had been over. The white walls were still the same, but now there were black curtains covering the large bay window. The dark grey couch now sat on top of a rug that matched the couches color perfectly and a light wooden coffee table in the middle of the rug bring the whole room together.

“Ok I need to head out.” Zacky said as he stood up, handing me Aidyn. The look in Tegan’s eyes when he got up was one that truly made my heart sink, “I’ll be back soon baby.”

“I love you.” She said as she stood up and walked over to him, hugging him tightly. It made me smile at the amount of love those two had. There was nothing that could tear them apart and everyone knew this. They slowly departed and Zacky waved bye to me before walking out of the house, my sister following him close behind so she could lock the door after he left. I watched as my sister bit her lip and walked over to the window and peered out of it. It hurt to see my sister this way, but it was completely understandable why she was. She wasn’t worried about herself, but more of Zacky . Being out in this weather was cause to worry though. I heard the ruffle of the paper the bag making me look over to see that Aidyn was trying to get his burrito. I waited for a second before pulling Tegan away from the window. She smiled sadly and I knew I had to do whatever I could to get both of our minds off of being away from our loves. Tegan sat down on the couch as I flipped through the channels on the TV. Normally there were movies on HBO that could get our attention for a while, but today there seemed to be none. I sighed and turned on the marathon of Criminal Minds instead. Dr. Reid always cheered me up when Jimmy couldn’t be around.

I heard my sister’s quiet laughing, making me look over at what she was laughing at. Aidyn was trying to pull apart his fingers, but the beans were acting like glue. I smiled at my son and shook my head lightly as Tegan reached over and cleaned off his fingers. He smiled and dove back into food like there was no tomorrow. I grabbed a taco out of the bag and started eating it, carefully watching Aidyn to make sure he didn’t get any beans on Uncle Zacky’s nice carpet. I knew Zacky wouldn’t mind, but that doesn’t change anything. Halfway through my taco, I heard a yawn from the table where Aidyn sat, his mouth opened wide in a huge wide. I smiled and looked over at Tegan who smiled and laughed at the half-eaten taco hanging out of my mouth.

“Can I give him a bath?” I asked as I stared at my son who was now just licking the beans off his hands. Tegan nodded, trying not to laugh as I’m sure, she was reminded of my brother when he was younger. I said a quiet ‘Thank You’ before picking up my bean-covered baby and walking over to the bathroom, abandoning my precious taco. I set him on the toilet while I started the bath, sighing as I made sure it was the right temperature. Aidyn yawned and pressed his head against my shoulder, snuggling up to me as much as he could. I smiled and pulled him over so he was sitting on my knee so he could wrap his arms around my stomach and lay his head on my chest. I wrapped the arm that wasn’t in the water around his back and set my head on his as he yawned again, Once I had the water just right for him I got him in, doing it quickly so he didn’t catch a chill. He made a face as I slipped him into the water, making me laugh as I pour a bit of water on him. He splashed his hands against the water a bit before smiling over at me, with a smile I knew too well. I shook my head as he brought his hands up to splash again.

“You’re going to get mama wet.” I said as I grabbed his hands right before they hit the water. He smiled a tired smile at me as a yawn slipped from his lips. I finished washing him up quickly making sure there weren’t any beans and cheese behind his ears or even up his nose like I figured it would be. I grabbed the towel next to me and wrapped him up tightly making his giggle.

“Did mama wrap you up like a burrito?” I asked him as he nodded. I tickled him slightly making him laugh loudly as he tried to wiggle away from my hand, but I had wrapped the towel too tight. I laughed and picked him up off my lap and set him on my hip before waking out into the living room. I grabbed the diaper bag from the love seat where Zacky had put it as I sat on the floor. I grabbed a diaper and quickly put it on him making faces as I did so. I could hear Tegan laughing at me, so I flipped her off discreetly behind my back as I cleaned off Aidyn’s Pjs. She laughed harder at the look on my face as I tried to act innocent. She reached over and grabbed a toy ball of Aidyn’s and threw it out of my head, narrowly missing my head all together.

“Do you see that? Auntie Tegan’s crazy!” I said to Aidyn as he looked over at Tegan laughing.

“Oh shut up you drove me crazy!” She responded as she laughed.

“You have no proof!” I said as I stuck my tongue out at her.

“Just get your son dressed.” She said laughing as she stood up and walked into the kitchen. I looked down at Aidyn, who was smiling at mine and my sister’s antics.

“What?” I asked him as he giggled, “What’s so funny huh?” I asked again, before blowing raspberries against his neck. He laughed and pushed my head away. I laughed and picked him up and set him on my chest. He was starting to get too big for me to hold him like this, but it didn’t bother me. I felt my knee pop as I stood up, but ignored it as much as possible. Tegan cut me a look as she walked back in, handing Aidyn his bottle. Normally I won’t give him a bottle cause I was trying to whin him, but tonight was an exception.

“Daddy?’ I heard him ask as he took his bottle out of his mouth.

“We’ll be home with Daddy soon.” I said as I adjusted how he was laying so he was laying against my arm. I walked over to the couch and sat down next to my sister as he put the bottle back into his mouth and nuzzled into my chest again.

“So what all have you been up to this week?” Tegan asked me as she reached across the table and grabbed the bottle of tea she had gotten out for me. She handed it to me as she took a drink of her own.

“Nothing much honestly.” I said as I thought about the past week, “We’ve mostly been trying to get the house back in order and playing with the kids. We’ve been putting bits and pieces of the wedding together, but really it’s not much. Jimmy’s been working on some new music. I can’t wait for him to be done with it. I want to hear the final piece so much.” I said as I gushed over Jimmy’s talent. She laughed knowing how I tend to brag about Jimmy, even though she had been around him for as long as I had. Aidyn snored slightly against my chest making me laugh softly as I pulled his bottle from his lips.

“I’m going to go put him down.” I said as I stood up. I walked down the hallway, practically praying that the power didn’t go out while I was alone. I walked into the room, dimming the light softly so it didn’t wake up Aidyn. I walked over to the bed and laid him on it, making sure the covers were tight around him. I placed a kiss on his forehead before walking back out of the room. I walked back into the living-room to see my sister flipping through random channels. She turned it on “Say Yes To The Dress” before turning to me.

“Speaking of the wedding, what are you guys going to do with it?” Tegan asked as she set her bottle on the table across from her. I took another long drink of the fruity drink in my bottle before speaking.

“I think we’re going to have an Irish theme wedding in December, but I’m not quite sure.” I said as I thought about what little me and Jimmy had planned.

“Have you thought about what kind of dress you want to wear?” She asked as she grabbed a blanket off of the couch and wrapped herself up in it. I had noticed that it was getting colder as well, but I paid no mind to it; with the metal in my knee, cold was becoming a second feeling that I was more than used to, the only problem was that it took a lot more to get me warmed up. I stood up and walked over to the fire place and turned it on, seeing how Zacky had to have an electric one.

“Not much. I saw one that was pretty, but it wasn’t me. It was too modern and not enough vintage. I want one that has lace, but not like over done you know? I’ve always thought a strapless one would look best on me, and I want it to be long, but that’s all I’m sure about.” I said as I felt heat coming from the fire already. She nodded and stood up and walked to the back of the house. Before I could question where she was going I heard a sound coming from the door. It didn’t sound quiet like a knock, but I still couldn’t tell if it was just the wind against the door. I sighed and walked over to the door wondering what kind of poor soul would be out in this weather. I walked over to the door and peaked through the hole. A confused look swept across my face, as I saw nothing but the pouring rain in what little light the lamp post outside provided.

“Who was at the door?” Tegan asked as she walked back into the room with a sketch pad.

“There was no one there. It must have been the wind or something.” I said as I sat down on the couch. She sat next to me, drawing on the sketch pad as her mind wondered.

“What colors is the wedding going to be?” She asked me.

“I think white and black, you something that everyone can fit into.” I said knowing our friends. You tell them any other color besides black and they will dress fully in it. Trust me. Our friend made that mistake when she had a hot pink wedding. JB Diz in hot pinknot a pretty site.

“Yeah that would make sense. We don’t want a repeat of JB.” She said with a small smile as she continued to draw. I saw a hint of something in her eyes, I knew she was planning her own wedding in her mind.

“No we really don’t.” I said cringing at the thought, “What are you drawing?” I asked as I stuck my head over and looked at the drawing at hand. A beautiful dress was lying on the paper. It had a sweetheart neckline, but was covered with a thin layer of what I assumed to be lace, making it seem almost teasing. It was long, down to the ground with a beautiful train. I looked up at her amazed. I’d never really gotten to see Tegan’s designs firsthand, I normally just saw them after when Zacky had gotten them made. She had been drawing clothes for years, but was normally really secretive about her work. To this day, I’ve never really seen her work. Only what comes out of the factory for Vengeance University. She was lost in thought, I suppose trying to think of what to add on. She smiled suddenly, drawing a sash across the dress right under the bust, drawing lines to indicate a gathered look.

“That’s amazing!” I said as she handed the book to me.

“You like it?” She asked me with an unsure look.

“I love it!” I said as I hugged her. I just needed someone to actually make it for me, “Where can I get it made?” I asked her , watching a shocked look wipe across my sisters face. I watched as she went to say something, but thunder cut through the room, cutting off in conversation as well as all power. I froze instantly, feeling panic strike my body. We were both frozen for a moment before I grabbed Tegan’s hand and she rubbed the back of mine with her thumb, as she pulled me up and walking into what I guessed was the kitchen. She let go of my hand for a second and I heard a draw open. A cold hard object was put in my hand, making me immediately realize that it was a flashlight. I turned it on as quickly as I could, feeling better that now there was a bit of light.

“The back up generator should turn on soon.” She said as turned on her own light. I nodded and turned to walk down the hall to where Aidyn was sleeping. I heard Tegan’s light footsteps from behind me, following me as I walked into the room. She stopped right outside of the room, shining the light on the bed while I set my flashlight on the bed. I picked up my sleeping son and set him on my chest as I stood up straight and grabbed the flashlight back off of the bed. Tegan walked out to the living-room ahead of me, reaching the living-room just a second before me. I flashed my light around the living-room, and saw her sitting in the exact place she was before the power went off, shining the light back at me with a smile on her face to let me know where she was. My sister had, had so much practice with me around darkness so she knew exactly how to be around me, just like I knew how to be around her during storms. I sat down on the couch feeling a cold breeze blow by as I heard the wind outside pick up. Aidyn wiggled on my chest for a second before settling down and falling back to sleep.

“Tegan is the window cracked?” I asked as I shivered. I grabbed the blanket from behind me and covered Aidyn up with it. I rubbed my arms together, tightening my grasp on Aidyn as well as I saw that he was shivering slightly.

“It shouldn’t be.” She said as I felt the couch move. I flashed my light on her as she got up. Aidyn started fussing lightly and wiggling on my chest, I could tell that he was having trouble sleeping without Jimmy and Vicki here in the same house.

“Don’t worry about me, just make sure he doesn’t wake up.” She said as she smiled. I nodded lightly and stood up and started walking around with him, shinning the light in front of me to make sure I didn’t trip. I walked past the kitchen, smelling a scent that hit me like a ton of bricks. I shook my head, telling myself that there was no way that he was here. He was in jail, but the realization hit me as another breeze blew by, catching the same scent. My heart sank, the throat was clogged. I never thought I would smell that again.

“Tegan?” I asked as I swung the flash light around to where my sister had been standing. I gasped as Todd appeared standing in my way. I saw blood on his hands, covering his fingers as he laughed, my sister’s body laying behind him. I couldn’t tell if she was still alive, but I saw the blood coming from her forehead. I wanted to run to her, to make sure that she was ok, but I knew if I did that Todd would get me too. I stepped back, tears lining my eyes as everything hit me. I held Aidyn tighter as I felt him stir against my chest. He cried lightly, as Brandon stepped out of the darkness. Even in the darkness I could see the fury on Brandon’s face as he laid his eyes on Aidyn. I instantly knew what he wanted to do; he wanted to kill my baby boy. I stepped backwards realizing I was close to the hall, I was praying Brandon was still as stupid as he was when he went to jail. I turned and ran down the hall, straight into Zacky’s bedroom as I threw the door closed and locked it. I heard them smacking against it, but I wouldn’t open the door.

“TristaTrista come out sweetie. I wanna be a family. Baby I’m so sorry I hit you like that. You know I didn’t mean it.” Brandon recited through the door, but I could hear the laughter in his voice; he was mocking me. I turned around looking for anyway out, I knew I was a sitting duck right now. Aidyn’s cries became louder as I felt the panic in my body rise to a new level. I looked back at the door, not hearing any sounds from the outside, before I moved. I grabbed Tegan’s blanket off the floor and wrapped Aidyn up tightly, smiling a sad smile at my son. His blue eyes were filled with confusion, but as long as he was ok, that’s all that mattered. Making sure his blanket was secure and covering his head, I picked him up and walked over to the window. I looked back at the door, finally hearing some movement outside of it. I focused on the sounds for just a second before quickly sliding through the window. I heard the door open as I looked back to see Brandon bursting through the door. They had actually taken the time to pick the lock. I ran to the gate, feeling my skin become soaked with water with every step, but I knew I had to get to Brian’s house and fast. I heard Brandon scream “fuck” as he realize what had happened, but I was already to the gate. I threw the latch open as I heard his footsteps behind me. He was close, close enough that I knew I had to do something to slow him down. I threw the door back into his face like I had done to Matt on many occasions. I heard him yell, but I paid no mind to it as I ran down the street. I had made it to Brian’s yard before someone grabbed me by the hips and pulled me back. I felt Aidyn slip out of my hands and struggled to catch him.

“Ran to Uncle Brian.” I yelled as I managed to set him on his feet somehow. I saw him smile before running to the door. I screamed as however had me threw me over their shoulder. I screamed as loud as I could, hoping Brian would wake up. The door swung open and I saw hands grab Aidyn and put him inside, before I saw Brian’s form. I screamed for him again as he looked around. Realization hit him and he ran towards me. I felt his hands on my arm pulling me away from Todd, before Brian was thrown to the side. Brandon was on top of him in a second, punching the man who was trying to save me. Brian threw him off and stood up, punching Brandon hard in the face before running after me again. I brought my elbow down on Todd’s neck as hard as I could, feeling his grip loosen for a second. I took my advantage and threw my self out of his arms. As soon as I was free another set of arms grabbed me, this time holding my arms to my sides. I kicked, but Todd grabbed my legs, making sure I couldn’t get away this time. Brian tried to reach me again but his attempts were cut short as Brandon came up behind him; fury written across his face as he kicked Brian’s leg out from underneath him.

“Brian!” I screamed again as I saw that his knee was crocked now, instead of straight. He grabbed his knee giving our captures an advantage. I was thrown into the back of a vehicle, but I never took my eyes off of Brian. He looked up at me from his spot on the floor as he tried to get back up. I watched in horror as Brandon kicked Brian’s ribs, making him fall back down. I covered my mouth as tears fell from my eyes. I couldn’t help it, I screamed for Brian once more, trying to get out of the car, but Todd was still holding me. I felt the car start up as Brandon jumped into the passenger seat. I tried to get out of Todd’s grip to get to Brian, but he was holding my too tightly, gripping my arms tightly to my body. I met Brian’s eyes for a second, the look in them will haunt me for the rest of my life. I’d never seen Brian’s eyes so full of shame and pain before. I was brought back to reality by the sound of the car door slamming. I looked around frantically, seeing my sister lying on the floor of the van. I raced to her, checking her pulse to make sure she was still alive. Tears blurred my vision as I found a weak pulse.

“Sissy.” I cried as I pulled her into my arms. I knew that Todd had blind sided her. There was no way he would have gotten her if he hadn’t and he knew that.

“God if there was one thing I couldn’t stand when we were together was that fucking crying. Shut the hell up!” Brandon screamed at me, but I had news for him.

“Go to fucking hell!” I screamed back just as loud. I saw a look across his face and I knew what was coming. I shrank back in fear as I watched his fist come towards me. It was like I was frozen, I couldn’t move as I felt the weight of his fist hit my face. It was at that moment that everything turned black.