Frankie Fever

For the first time ever, I felt like an adult. I was a young adult. Things were finally sorted. Mom and Dad were talking and I was now going on a date with a gorgeous guy.

I spent an absolute age on trying to look nice. I straightened my hair, then did a little bit of backcombing to give it volume. My eyeliner took an age for me to do because I was paying attention to every little detail. And I’d pranced around for ages before I settled on a Black Flag shirt and a pair of skinny jeans.

In short, this was important to me.

I wanted to look good.

And good I thought I looked.

Life was to start looking up from now on. I felt amazing. Much calmer than I had been in weeks. Like I could breathe a sign of relief.

I grabbed an apple from the kitchen and paused at the living room door to hear Mom and Dad talking together and laughing occasionally. I smiled to myself before knocking to inform them I was going out.

Sarah was across the street, bidding goodbye to a friend. She lifted a hand and waved to me shyly. I waved back and dashed across to say hi quickly. She smiled brightly and greeted me with a hug.

“How are you?” I asked politely.

“I’m fine,” She replied cheerily “That was my friend Amethyst, she’s trying to set me up with her brother. Apparently he likes me, and I don’t think he’s too bad either,” She admitted shyly.

“That’s great!” I replied with a grin “I’m happy for you!”

“Thanks,” She smiled “It’s. . . it-it’s a shame we didn’t work out.”

“Well yeah it‘s a shame. Don’t get me wrong, I think you’re awesome. But, actually, I wanted to tell you something. You’re good with secrets aren’t you?”

She nodded.

“Well, I’m officially coming out to you,” I admitted.

Her face seemed to light up. She hugged me again, rocking from side to side. I laughed lightly, dizzy from happiness and high on life. Everything seemed to have fallen into place. I felt good.

Sarah looked at me with a grin. She laughed with me.

“I thought it’d only be a matter of time,” She smiled cheekily “But - oh, Gerard, I’m so proud of you! And you seem so much happier for it!”

“I am. And I feel a lot more confident in myself,” I agreed “I’ve actually got a date tonight too!”

Her smile grew even wider. She professed her feelings of happiness for me and hugged me again. I laughed again, hugging back. I felt on top of the world.

She asked all sorts of questions about Bert. What’s his name? How did we meet? What does he look like? Is he nice? I answered all happily. It was hard to keep the smile off my face as I answered. Sarah stated that she could see he made me happy. And I didn’t beg to differ.

I glanced at my watch briefly.

“I’d better get going actually, or I’ll be late,” I informed apologetically.

“What are doing still talking to me, then?” She demanded “Get going - hey where’s my hug?”

I accepted one last hug and she then asked if, since I was no longer into girls in that way, she could kiss me goodbye. After a laugh I agreed to a quick peck goodbye. Oh, dear, I was turning camp.

A couple of minutes later, my phone went off. I answered with a smile when I saw it was Bert. I was so happy.

“How’d it go?” He asked “You sound happy.”

“Yeah, I am,” I grinned “It was fine, I’ll tell you when I get there!”

“Okay, hurry over, in that case.”

“Will do,” I smiled “Bye.”

Oh, life was so great at the moment. Perhaps moving to New Jersey wasn’t all that bad after all. It seemed to have been quite liberating for us all despite some bad things happening. I felt more confident than I had in years, Mikey had made new friends and my parents were finally trying to fix their marriage which had been pretty crap even when we moved to New York from Jersey when I was three.

“And I think to myself, what a wonderful world,” I sang under my breath.

Gay.

I couldn’t wait to see Bert. I wondered what we’d be doing. Well, I didn’t care as long as I got to spend time with him. I had a feeling that I’d be really happy with him and that we’d last. He seemed like that type.

Oh, how wonderful it was to be me. How wonderful it was to be fifteen and not have a care in the world. I wanted to skip down the road. I didn’t, obviously, I’m not Billy Elliot.

A date.
A stable home life.
Up to date on my homework.

Life was bliss.

* * *

I was greeted by a peck on the cheek. Bert smiled and asked if he could hold my hand. I agreed and then, after being ordered to, filled him in on what had happened with my parents. He smiled and expressed how pleased he was for me.

This was perfect.

And then it happened.

It.

My life was to be turned upside down in the next hour or two.

My phone rang.

I’ve wondered so many times what would have happened if I’d ignored that call. How would things have panned out? But what kind of friend would I be if I’d ignored it?

It was Frank.

It registered as odd in my mind because he hadn’t spoken to me for weeks and weeks.

“Aren’t you going to get that?” Bert asked curiously “Don’t ignore it on my account,” He smiled.

I smiled at him and answered the phone.

“Hello?” I asked.

I was shocked by what I heard next. I’d never seen Frank cry before. But he was sobbing down the phone. He sounded frantic and terrified. It sent panic coursing through me before he even spoke.

When he did speak, I felt shivers run down my spine.

“G-Gee?” He questioned in between sobs “I-I need you! Please. . . I need your help!”

I didn’t speak. I couldn’t.

This phone call is what changed the lives of two teenage boys forever. I never could have anticipated what was wrong when he called me at 7:13 pm that night. I’d wondered if it was something he was over dramatising.

Then I realised. Frank didn’t cry just for a trifle. It had to be something bad.

Never in a million years could I have guessed what would have happened in the space of a few hours that night.

Sometimes, it feels like a dream when I think back to it. I know it isn’t though. Something happened that night that I’ll never forget above the rest of the events of that evening. I can forget the rest and wonder about certain details. What colour was it? I think it was silver with a smashed window thanks to us. How much did it cost when we got there? But I’ll never forget that. I can still see it clearly now.

“G-Gerard can you hear me?” He sobbed.

“Who is it?” Bert asked.

I shook my head and turned away. I gripped the phone so tight I thought I’d crush it.

“Gerard, please! I-I. . . I’m in so much trouble! Deep deep shit!”

“Where-”

“Our park. Please! Please help me!”

Dial tone.

I turned to Bert, feelings of shock horror and terror stirring inside me.

I still feel sorry for Bert to this day for what I did. Which was to turn and run for it, leaving Bert standing alone, calling after me, feeling rejected.