"Love is Like A Glass Door..."

Connor's POV

Kevin pulled up in on a curb that was conveniently facing the front of the Notre Dame. Since most people traveled around on bikes, it was hell to find a place to park. There was a stifling void of silence.

"Exciting," Kevin commented dully.

Neither of us made a move to get out of the car.

This was it- this was my chance. The perfect chance. All the time I want alone with Kevin Jonas. Despite this opportunity, a part of me knew I would never be able to do it, no matter how much I desperately wanted to. No matter how much I loved him, I knew it was just a fantasy that would never come true. And what if he found out? What if he was horrified and spited me or avoided me? I wouldn't be able to take it. I'd feel safer fancying what will never be than rather telling him the truth and being shunned. There was no way around it, and maybe that's why I was feeling so empty and depressed...

"I can't believe we let those two ditch us," Kevin thought aloud.

I shrugged. "Let's make the best of it, I guess," and even thought I really didn't want to, I opened the passenger door and heaved myself up from the seat. I would be happy for him; let him think I was a care-free friend and not pitifully love-lorn. I began walking towards the cathedral, the wind skimming my skin. As I pulled up my hood, I heard Kevin fall in step with me. I crammed my fists in my hoodie pockets. The two of us mixed with the small crowd of people and then we slipped out to the entrance of the Notre Dame.

And there we stood, still as statues as we quietly observed the front of the building. I took a couple of pictures and slung the camera back around my neck.

After a little bit, Kevin said, "I hate how they put that fire escape staircase up there; it ruins the whole Gothic effect. They should remove it."

"If you're in the Cathedral and it catches on fire and you're on the very top, don't come crying to me."

"But, Connor! Don't you know that I can fly?"

"Oh, no I didn't, Mr. Jonas. Care to jump off a cliff and demonstrate?"

"Only if you come with me, Mr. McPhearson, old chap."

In an odd sense, it made me feel better, like there was still hope. But should I attempt it? Having options again troubled me.

---

Kevin's POV

Connor was one of those people that you just automatically click with. Like... friendship at first sight. It doesn't matter that we've only known each other for a couple of days because it seems like we've been friends for years. And because of that, I was already beginning to know when he was upset, even if he masked it very well.

I was smiling a little from our inside joke, but when I looked to him he was staring off again with a debating expression on his face.

I took his hand and dragged him to the side, in a private place secluded by beech trees. He blushed at my touch. I sat him down on a stony bench with lion's toes and looked him straight in the eye.

"What?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"Spill. I know something's bothering you, so tell me. I won't let it rest until you do."

He sighed and leaned back, staring up towards the clouds. Just when I thought he was refusing to talk, he began. "I.... There's this person that I'm-" he made exasperated motions with his hands, "Madly in love with- her name's... Elaine." he added quickly. "And... she has no clue how I feel about her. And I want to be her boyfriend- desperately- but I'm afraid she won't accept me for who I am..."

I blinked. "Is that it?"

He glanced at me before saying, "Yeah..."

"Well, the answer's simple: go for it."

He looked back at me, surprised. "Really?"

"Definitely. Buy some roses. Wow her with poetry. Show her you mean it when you love her. I'd be damned if she declined."

"Okay..." he said hesitantly, "I'll do it." He smiled a little. "I'm scared as hell, but I'll do it." There was a faraway look in his hazel eyes, and that's when I knew the story wasn't over. It was like he was speaking in code.

"There's more, isn't there?"

Red and yellow leaves swirled around us as the wind blew.

"A lot more," he said quietly, averting his gaze from me.

---
Back inside the car and it's dusty interior, I patiently waited for Connor to explain himself. He was acting secretive and depressed, and I didn't like it. We were both tense, as if we were waiting for test results.

"Okay," he said after a while, "since we're being heart-to-heart, why don't you bring something to the table?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said hastily.

He shook his head and looked out the window. "Don't think I don't know. The rumors. They're tearing you up inside."

Another pause of silence.

"It's okay, Kevin."

"No it's not!" I chocked out. "I'm so freaking scared, it's not even funny. I mean, what if? What if I were?" I could bring myself to say it directly. "What would my parents think? What about my girlfriend? What about my fans? I don't even know if I am. I'm not sure- and that's what scares me the most."

Connor gripped my hand firmly, looking me straight in the eye. "Don't be scared; there's nothing scary about not knowing. And who cares if you are? You'll be the same Kevin. Your parents will still love you. Your most faithful fans would still love you. I w- would still be your friend. Your girlfriend? I'm not sure about her, but that doesn't matter."

"Really? You would still hang out with me even if I were?"

"More than you know," he muttered. I jerked up. What did that mean? He looked at me sadly. "Back in the ninth grade," he explained, "I went through the same thing. It was total murder, and it got me stressed. At my school, you don't get away with being gay without getting hurt. So I started smoking and... got really messed up. Got in denial. Got bipolar. Got kicked out of my house. Everything. It was the darkest time in my life and I never want to go back." I was surprised. I hadn't expected anything like this from him. An insight of Connor's dark years. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Y-yeah... I think so."

Connor's POV

All of the things I wanted to tell him right then... It almost made me cry. And I knew he really wasn't okay. "Come here," I murmured, not really knowing what I was doing. Kevin inched closer and I lifted his chin with the tips of my fingers, staring into a different world, lost in the swirls of those dark eyes of his. "You'll be fine," I assured, hoping I wasn't being too obvious.

"I know I will be, if you help me," he said.

Then I could feel his hand slide up an inch up my thigh. I inhaled sharply.

He moved closer, and I could've sworn there were tears welling up in his eyes. I looked at him, concerned.

"Kevin... what're you doing?"

"Don't worry about it," he whispered and leaned over the armrest. A tear escaped. It wasn't a tear of sadness, but of anxiety and fear.

I closed the remaining distance between us until we were intimately close.

Right now, nothing else mattered.

I gently wiped it away. I could feel the fear slowly well up inside of me. My fingers twitched in anticipation. "O-okay."

Here it comes.

He cupped my face with one hand and his breath suddenly hitched. I took a deep breath.

Just wing it.

You can do it.

I'll count down.

One...

I brushed back his hair with a forefinger.

Two...

I could feel his breath. I could feel the emotion overpowering everything.

Thr-

I've got the gift o-of one-liners and you've got the curse of curves...

WHAT THE HELL?!

My pocket started vibrating. I swore under my breath as I flipped out my cellphone. It was Penny, probably calling because she and Nick were done with their picnic. Time had flown fast.

The mood shattered instantly, and Kevin and I were brought back to reality. "You'll be okay," I said softly, one more time. As I stuck the key in the ignition, he nodded numbly and released a final shaky breath before forcing a smile, and he said, "Thanks."