"Love is Like A Glass Door..."

Garbage.

All of it. It makes me want to through this laptop across the room as if it was the source to all of my problems.

Site after site, I click on pictures of me and an old girlfriend, or me with a best guy friend, or me doing something pretty quirky-ish.

People still thought I was gay. And the numbers weren't exactly going down. What was I doing that made people think that? Or was I just overreacting?

I was always careful to keep it all bottled up inside. Outside, I was the care-free, never unhappy Kevin Jonas. Inside, it was horrible. Every time I saw my name on the internet, my thoughts came back to that subject. It made me restless. It made me wonder, "Am I really?"

Does being straight come naturally, is it something you just can't help? Or do you have a decision? Does everyone in the worldknow, without a doubt, 100% if they were gay or straight or bi or what?

Lately I've been falling into lapses of depression. It was like I didn't even know who I was anymore.

I bury my head in my hands, and an audible sigh escaped me. Joe looked up from his magazine, concerned.

"Everything alright, dude?"

"I wish I could say yes," I replied bitterly, "But everything's just... I don't know, Joe, just...upside down. -Oh god, now that Go Figure song is in my head."

"When life starts making sense, the world is upside-down again!"

I grinned in spite of myself. "Shut up."

"Sometimes you fall, before you fly-y. Sometimes you laugh when you should CRY!"

I might cry just now.

"How do even know the lyrics?"

"Well, duh. That movie played a million times, who doesn't?"

I raised my hand lazily. "Apparently, everyone but you."

"You're just too old."

"Dude, that movie is old."

"So? I like to stick to the classics."

I shook my head. "Don't even get started with me."

Joe sobered. "So what's going on, man?" he asked while putting his magazine aside.

"This," I motioned to the computer screen dejectedly. Joe came over and sat down next to me, studying the screen. Tabs upon tabs of tabloids were on the bar, all about me and my apparent gayness. There was even this one post on Flickr about my ex girlfriend from 2005- Zoe Meyers. They even called her a lesbian for going out with me.

Joe let out a low whistle. "Wow."

"I know."

"But listen, man, don't believe any of it. It's just a bunch of bored jerks that string crap together and call it facts."

I thought that over. "But..."

"But what?"

I hesitated. "...What if?"

"Don't sweat it, Kevin. If it was true, then you'd know. Simple as that," he said, then grabbed the phone and swaggered to the kitchen singing:

"Not everything, is what it seems. And there is just one thing there is: When life starts making sense, the world is upside-down again!"

Doesn't it just suck when every song you hear starts sounding like your life story?

Then Joe yelled out, "I'm thinking takeout." Mom and dad weren't home yet.

"Okay," I replied. I thought over what Joe said. Was it really that simple? It didn't seem that he was digging into it that deep. Then I thought about that one rumor I found online, about Joe being gay. Ever seen it? Well, whoever posted that seriously needed to get their facts straight. You should see the magazine he was looking at just now.

Joe came back and sat down on his armchair. He returned to his magazine, still singing the Go Figure song under his breath.

"You better have gotten something good."

"Don't I always?"

I shook my head again and mused. Then, one by one I deleted the tabloids on the bar. I wouldn't worry about it tonight.

It was around 9:20 when Nick finally came home. He smelled like hot beverages and he looked ridiculously happy. He walked past Joe, and with one glance at the cover of the magazine, he said sarcastically, "Nice." It was a porno magazine, if you didn't know. "Better put that away before mom and dad get home."

"I got a few hours," he said nonchalantly.

"So how was the date?" I inquired, breaking up the conversation.

"Oh, yeah," Joe remembered. "You went out with that midget interviewer chick. Interesting experience, no doubt?"

"Yeah," he nodded with a kiddish grin on his face. "It was... great."

Then he added, "She's coming over Sunday."

"Wow," was my response. Nick never wastes time. -Neither does Joe.

"Well, I can't wait for her to come over," he said politely, and returned his attention to the pornography.

A strong awkward silence followed. I guess I should give you some background information before we go on.

Imagine that you are a girl who was insanely obsessed with the Jonas Brothers (if you're not already). Okay, now, pretend that one of us, either Nick or Joe, asks you out- don't get too excited on me, now. Then Nick/Joe invites you to come over to their house one day. There you find that the other is acting very friendly towards you- too friendly, in fact. You begin to get trapped in a situation where Nick and Joe are fighting over you, and you do not know who to choose.

That's the main problem. Nick and Joe always like the same girl. And then they compete to keep the girl, if she suddenly has second thoughts. Hopefully, this girl isn't some kind of star-struck groupie. Worst case scenario, we'd have some very p.o.ed Jonas Brothers. And I can tell with a queasy feeling that Joe had his eyes firmly set on her, like a cheetah spotting its prey.

"What are we having tonight?" Nick asked.

"Takeout."

And so we hung out for about an hour, not doing anything, really, but messing around with Nick's guitar, trying to create a song for our next album.

My issues melted away- at least for now.