Pain

Suddenly I heard someone scream. I looked around and realized that I was back on the steps. The throaty scream I had heard was a part of the music coming from inside the building.

I walked in and found Adrian with Livy wrapped around his waist. "Where have you been?" he asked, more accusatory than worried. "You just missed the entire show!"

"I went outside and fell asleep," I told him, and he rolled his eyes. "Where's Stacy?"

"Flirting with the bassist?" Livy said. I thought she was joking, but when I followed her gaze, I too saw the long-haired rocker uncomfortably backing away with Stacy practically on top of him.

I chuckled, but as I watched, things got even worse, and soon Livy and I couldn't stop laughing. Despite all the dark makeup she put on and Livy's old green high tops on her feet, Stacy looked ridiculously out of place here. Her denim miniskirt and pink top were obviously designer brands, and just never mind that perfect long blonde hair.

"What am I going to do with you people?" Adrian muttered. "Tal can't stay awake long enough to enjoy the show, and Stacy can't enjoy the show without the bassist taking off his shirt."

As Adrian said this, Stacy reached out to run her fingers through the poor man's hair, and he flinched. Only Livy and I laughed; Adrian didn't share our sense of humor. "Well, since neither of you are going to do it..." Adrian began to walk toward Stacy and her new friend.

We saw him put his arm around Stacy and hold her back from the shirtless bassist as he made his escape. Then Adrian began to walk Stacy back toward us.

"What did you say to him?" I asked Adrian.

He shrugged. "I said, 'Get your hands off my woman; that's my job!' And—ouch!" A red handprint was forming on Adrian's cheek as Livy stormed off to sulk in the car.

"Wait!" Adrian called after Livy. "I was just trying to save her from embarrassing herself anymore than she already had!"

Another red handprint joined the first, and Stacy followed Livy to the car.

Adrian opened his mouth to shout something else, but then decided against it. "I don't suppose you'll want to hit me as well?"

I laughed and gently smacked him in the jaw, then I took his arm, and led him back to his car.

These people were great when I was awake to enjoy them.

I woke up the next morning, tangled in my seafoam green bedspread, my hair pressed to my face with sweat. I exhaled deeply, relieved to find that I was safe and none of my friends were dead, as my dream had misleadingly suggested.

After a long, hot shower to wash off last night's fear, I padded in my fuzzy slippers down the stairs and into the living room.

"Merry Christmas," I heard my mother say. She was sitting in her rocking chair next to the tree, a gift box in her lap. I thought it was funny that she continued to go through all the work of putting up a tree even though I was sixteen and clearly no longer believed in Santa Claus.

"Merry Christmas," I said to her. I had completely forgotten. I pointed to the box in her lap. "Is that for me?"

She held it out, and I took it. I carefully removed the paper and slowly opened the box. Foot by foot, I pulled out the forest green hand-knit scarf. It looked kind of homely, but I knew it had been made with love, so wrapped it around my neck. It was very warm, and only a tiny bit itchy.

"Thanks, Mom," I said, feeling bad that I hadn't remembered to get her something. "I'll make breakfast," I offered.

"I already have," she said. "Blueberry pancakes. They're on the stove, and probably still hot. Help yourself. Have some coffee too; you look tired."

When aren't I? I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her on the cheek. "I love you, Mom."

"You too, Taleila."

As I was finishing off my pancakes and coffee, the telephone rang loudly and made me jump. I answered it. Appropriately, Livy was on the line, yelling obnoxiously. So much for a nice, peaceful Christmas.

"I called your cell phone thirty times! Why didn't you answer?"

"Because, one, it's in my purse, which is on a whole different floor, and two, it's nine in the morning, so why the hell are you calling me anyway?"

"Gee, I'm sorry," Livy apologized sarcastically. "I thought maybe I could interest you in a road trip, but I guess—"

"Where?"

"I don't know," she answered. "Somewhere where it's not snowing."

"Not snowing?" I asked. "But it's Christmas!"

"I don't care what day it is!" Livy retorted. "I hate snow everyday. Are you coming with or not?"

I shrugged, even though Livy couldn't see. "Don't see why not."

"Cool. Be there in ten."

I said goodbye to Livy and hung up. Then I dialed Jack's cell. I missed getting his input on things, especially my dreams, which he had taken a particular interest in.

I heard a lot of static and then Jack saying, "Taleila? I'm sorry. I'm getting terrible reception. Can you hear me okay?"

"Yes, now I can," I said. "Sorry, I just... well, I really miss you."

"Say no more," he laughed, putting an invisible finger to my lips. "I miss you too."

"At least you're being given the opportunity to enjoy yourself," I pointed out. "How's that going by the way?"

"It's been fun," said Jack. "Not to mention the weather's lovely. We visited the Natural History Museum yesterday, and tomorrow we're taking a tour of UCLA, the school my sister attends. You know, I could stay in LA for months and not run out of things to do, but no matter how much I like it here, I'd still rather be at home with you. How was last night's show?"

"I wouldn't know," I replied. "I slept straight through it." I proceeded to tell him every horrible detail of the dream I'd had.

"Jesus," Jack murmured—his idea of a swear word, the kind of word he did not commonly use.

"My dreams are really starting to scare me," I confessed.

"I'd have been scared a long, long time ago, Taleila," Jack said softly.

Suddenly, I heard a car horn sounding just outside my house.

"What's that?" Jack asked.

"I think Adrian and Livy are here," I yelled, trying to hear myself over the honking horn. "I'll call you later. Love you."

I rushed to the door and poked my head out into the frigid air. The horn stopped as Livy stepped out of the passenger seat of the car. "Get in!" she yelled.

"Why don't you guys just come inside?" I suggested. "I'm not even dressed yet."

"No thanks," Livy declined. "Just hurry up."

"Five minutes," I promised. I ran inside and threw on a pair of bootcut jeans and a v-neck tee. I kicked off my slippers in exchange for a pair of slip-on sneakers. I tied my tangled, wet hair off to one side and grabbed my purse, hoping there was a comb in it.

As I closed my bedroom door behind me, I heard my mother ask from her bedroom, "Where are you going?"

Before I could answer, Livy started up with that damn car horn again. I groaned and tried to yell over it, "Just for a joyride."

Whether or not she heard me, Mom continued. I thought she said, "Will you be back by supper?"

I said, "I'll call you," and headed off down the stairs. Mom was still talking, but I had no clue what about.

When I got outside, the beeping stopped and I saw Livy crawling off Adrian and back into her own seat. I climbed into the backseat, convincing myself that she had only been on top of him to better reach the horn.

As we pulled out of my driveway, Adrian asked, "Caffeine?" and passed me an unopened can of Barq's root beer—my favorite carbonated beverage.

"Thanks!" I said. "I actually feel wide awake right now, but I'll save this for later."

"You're welcome, Tali," Adrian said. Then he added, "Merry Christmas."

"I didn't get anyone anything," I admitted. "I feel like an ass."

"You are an ass," Livy agreed.

Adrian scoffed. "Who did you get a Christmas gift for, Livy? Yourself?"

"Seriously?" she asked. "What did you think last night was?"

"Okay!" I ended that ugly conversation and began a new one. "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere there's a lot to do," Adrian responded.

"And no fucking snow," Livy added, glaring out the windshield.

I could stay here for months and not run out of things to do, I remembered Jack saying. Not to mention the weather's lovely.

"I have an idea," I said.

Livy gave me an disgusted look. "Let me guess," she began. "You want to go see your boyfriend, and you're suggesting that Adrian and I take you."

I ignored her accusation and argued, "Los Angeles is both exciting and snow-less."

"While that may be true," said Livy, "you and I both know that as soon as you see Jack, Adrian and I won't hear from you until it's time to leave. Which makes the entire trip a complete—"

"That is not true!" I defended myself. "How self-centered do you think—"

"Hey!" Adrian yelled to stop our bickering. "Liv, Tali's right; she's not so selfish that she'd ditch us for Jack. But even if she did, would that be so bad? Think about it—you and me, alone, in LA."

Livy nodded slowly. A smile spread across her face, a smile that made me feel ill. "Okay," she agreed. "Okay, let's do it."

"Great." Adrian pulled out his cell phone and began typing a text message to Stacy.

"What are you doing?" Livy asked. She took Adrian's phone and turned it off. "You can't invite her; she'll spoil the whole trip. Besides, what was it that she said to us at the beginning of the year? 'Unless it's a show in Billings...'"

"'Assume I'm busy,'" Adrian finished. Stacy liked her reputation too much to compromise it by hanging out with us, but as long as it was out of town and no one would know it was her, she was game. None of us liked that about Stacy, but we had always been her friends. "But she'd definitely want to go to LA with us. Just let me text her."

"She might." Livy held the phone away as Adrian reached for it. "But that's not what she said. She said Billings, never anything about Los Angeles."

"I get your point, Liv, but I think we should at least offer to take her along."

"Okay, think about it this way," Livy said. "Imagine you and me, alone, in LA. Now imagine Stacy with us."

Adrian sighed. He knew he wasn't going to win, so he gave up and threw in a metal CD.

And so began our journey to California.