A Promise Never Forgotten

I stared tiredly at Gerard's back. . .

It all made sense but I didn't want to believe it. Thinking about the past I remembered the way he treated me, the things he said. It all added up. But why? Why me, doesn't he have a girlfriend?

"Gerard. . ."I manage to say. He turned around to look at me and I just stared at him. My mouth opened several times, attempting to say something, anything! But nothing came out. He looked hurt and I shut my eyes tight letting a tear escape.

Mikey was long gone having to rush home because his mom had called.

"Just forget it okay," he said coldly.

I shuddered and ran to him, throwing my arms around him, sobbing.

"I'm so," I said then sighed, looking up at him. He knew what I was going to say and turned his face away.

"Your my best friend Gerard, like a brother! Don't let something like this ruin that," I began to yell and moved far away from him, angry.

"Why don't you go back to Chicago and be William's whore again," Gerard growled with his eyes burning.

I staggered back, not believing what he had just said. More tears fell from my eyes and I felt my heart ripping.

William. . . .

How could he just mention him so easily like that?!

"You have no-" I began to say, with a low voice.

"What?! No right?! Psh, you think I care anymore," he yelled, stepping closer and closer to me.

"Gerard stop, this isn't you. . just relax," my voice trembling. He shook his head violently and stared back into my eyes.

"I'm tired of your stupid games!"

I winced at his voice, he was yelling so loud.

'I'm sorry Gerard. . ." I whispered, scared. I fell to my knees and sobbed into them, hugging them close to me.

"So sorry. . I still love him, I'm so screwed up. I just keep seeing his face in my head and my heart can't. . . .I'm trying! His voice is still singing to me at night and the feel of his touch still tingles all over me. My nights are still spent writing stupid poems about him ad crying myself to sleep! I love him, I LOVE WILLIAM SO MUCH AND I CAN'T BARE THE PAIN!" I yelled with tears pouring uncontrollably.

Gerard's eyes widened and I just tiredly looked up at him feeling my heart aching.

"I know how you feel, and I'm sorry. . . I can't say sorry enough. . "

He nodded slowly and just looked at me.

"I can see you really love him," he whispered, and I can tell the hurt I had caused him. I'm so selfish. . .

"Your not selfish or anything, you can't help what your heart feels."

I shot up and hugged him. "Thank you," I said softly.

He nodded and pulled away, walking down the street. I was left alone.

When will I stop loving someone I can never have. . . how many more people will have to suffer. . . how much longer will this even last?