Unravel

There I sat, staring at the completely gray wall in front of me. I had been sitting there for an hour and a wave of impatience was building up inside of me. I swore that he had one more minute to walk through that door or I’d leave without ever seeing him. It was then that I realized the cracks in the seemingly perfect wall. They spread out like spider webs across snow.

I realized that those tiny lines were the only evidence that the building had survived a great war. They almost matched the wrinkles on my mothers face. They were the only reminder of stress and turmoil that so many of us had experienced.

I was so deep in thought I didn’t even hear Walter enter the room.

That’s what all the kids called him. Walter. I never really liked his real name anyway, which was Andre, and his last name was too hard for me to remember. I asked him once if it was okay if I called him Walter too. He said it was fine but I knew it was because he wanted me to trust him more. Walter’s like a big brother to me. So, it was nice to have someone else to talk to besides Mom. Ever since then, I came to see him once a week. Just to talk.

“Deanna, is everything okay?” He asked as he sat beside me. There was a hint of worry in his deep voice.

I nodded slowly. The peace inside the room had disappeared and in some ways I wished he had never come. “I’m fine. I was just thinking about stuff.”

“Well, I guess if you’re okay, I should get to why I asked you here.” Walter is the leader of our small, but still large group of survivors. He didn’t act like it though. To me, leaders were strong and willing. Walter, well, he was quiet, shy, and very reluctant to lead unless he absolutely had to.

Sighing, I looked over at him, hoping he’d tell me what was going on, “What is it, Walter?” I looked him dead in the eyes, realizing that our meeting wasn’t at the usual time, “Is there something wrong?”

“No,” He smiled, “I just wanted to ask you that if I ever needed to ask you to do something, would you help?”

Thinking a moment, I shifted to face him, “Should I be scared or something. You don’t seem like yourself. It’s almost like-“ I stopped dead, knowing that I shouldn’t have even started that sentence. It just seemed like there was something that scared him. Not that that wasn’t normal for him but he seemed more scared then usual. “You’re just being unusually quiet. You know, for you…”

“Deanna, if I tell you something, you have to promise that you won’t freak out or tell anyone else. Alright?”

I nodded slowly. It was so unlike him to be worried about me freaking out. Everyone knows it takes a lot to worry me. So, I guess that’s why he made me promise. “I promise. What’s wrong?”

Before continuing, he took my hand in his. I could feel how sweaty his palm was. “See, there has been talks about the Others coming closer. If they do, we’re gonna be in a lot of trouble.” He looked down at the floor. “I was just wondering, if they do-“

“But they won’t.” I cut in before even thinking. It was a terrible thing to think about. The Others were killers. They were monsters. If they ever got into Haventown, there’d be no escaping. It would be horrible…

Walter sighed again, “Deanna, I know it’s something you don’t want to think about. None of us do. But, there’s a possibility that it could happen. And if it does, we’ll need some place to go.”

I stared at him. He was definitely right. I didn’t want to think about it and I wasn’t going to. There was nothing I wanted more then to forget what had already happened with the others, “You’re right. Okay, you’re right. We’d need some place to go. But, how are we suppose to find someplace when we can’t go beyond the wall?”

“That’s why I asked you here.” He placed his larger hand on mine, “Would you be willing to go looking for us? You wouldn’t have to go alone. You could ask whoever you wanted to go with you and-“

“NO!” I shouted standing up, “I’m not going out there. You, of all people, should know what I saw. I hate even thinking about but sometime I close my eyes and that’s all I see.” I tried to hold back tears. “I’m sorry but I’m not going.” With that, I walked out on him, slamming the door behind me.

Bobby was still waiting for me, his arms folded as he sat on the ground by the wall. He jumped to his feet when he saw me and followed closely. “What happened, Dee? That was awfully quick.”

“It was nothing. He just had to tell me something.” I wiped a tear away, trying to keep him from seeing it. He looked up to me and I didn’t want him to see me crying. What would he think?

He thought a moment, “Are you sure that’s all it was? It seemed more important then that.”

“Really, Bobby, that was all it was.” There were things he shouldn’t know. The fact that we could possibly be attacked by the Others was one of them. I needed to spare him from knowing that. It was worse enough that I knew.