All Was Golden in the Sky

I never was one to admit to having favorites, but I don’t think it was a secret to anyone that Hannah was my best friend. She was the first person I met when I moved to California, and didn’t judge me at all when I had told her I hadn’t really made much of a plan before coming west. She was one of the rare souls who understand I never had much of a plan for anything, and never tried to lecture me to consider otherwise. So of course I went to her the day after my confusing and irritating lunch with Ryan, to have her help me make sense of it all.

“Man, since when did he become such a tool?” she asked.

We were up in the room I now officially shared with Brendon, starting the task of unpacking my many boxes of clothes. I could hear Brendon playing around in his music room downstairs, even though he had vehemently insisted to Hannah he was working on putting together the mess that our lower level currently was. Personally I didn’t mind if he wasn’t working on it—I wanted to be able to make sure he wasn’t putting things places where they didn’t belong.

“Ryan’s always kind of been full of himself,” I sighed, dumping out one box and wincing when some of my heels toppled out and nearly stabbed my thigh. “Before Nags Head we hadn’t even talked for like a year.”

Hannah snorted and started running hangers through some of my shirts. “He’s probably jealous that the band is doing so well without him and that you and Brendon are happy,” she said.

I glanced over towards the dresser Brendon had finally tugged upstairs, where the framed picture of our pirate engagement photo now sat. “Yeah, we are,” I smiled to myself.

Hannah rolled her eyes, but I could see her grin. “Barf. Anyway, why are you letting that jerk bother you in the first place?”

I shrugged and took some hangers from her, starting to organize my closet. It was huge, probably twice the size of what my bathroom had been in my little apartment. Brendon’s clothes were already haphazardly hung on one side, in an attempt to appease me. I rolled my eyes and starting hanging mine on the other side.

“I don’t know,” I said. And truthfully, I didn’t. Nothing had ever made me doubt how Brendon felt about me before. We’d been strong ever since we started. Why did Ryan’s ploy to grate at me seem to work so well?

Hannah watched me mindlessly lining up my shirts, and I nearly jumped when she placed a hand on my shoulder. “Shit, Anne, what did he say to freak you out so much?” she asked.

She knew me too well sometimes. I sat down on the bed and sighed, running my fingers through my hair. I winced when my ring caught on a tangle of curls. “I don’t know, Hannah. It’s just…Ryan was right. I’m just mooching off of Brendon’s money right now. If he ever decided to leave me, I would have nothing.” I bit my lip and glanced over at the picture again. “Brendon is my everything,” I whispered.

Hannah frowned at me and sat next to me on the bed. “But Brendon doesn’t mind sharing his money with you,” she reminded me quietly. “Remember? He wants to take care of you.”

“And I love that,” I said, a little more loudly than I meant to. I frowned and looked down at my nails, picking mindlessly at the paint. “I guess I’m just worried that maybe I need to be able to take care of myself, too.”

Hannah pulled me into a side embrace, sensing that I was close to crying. She nuzzled her cheek against mine in the way that only best friends know how, and gave my back little pats of reassurance. “I don’t want you to listen to that Ross guy, okay? Brendon adores you. Have you seen you two? There is not a chance in hell that anything will ever get in the way of you two, not with how much you love each other.”

I sniffed and nodded, and Hannah squeezed my shoulder. We were quiet for a moment while I tried to regain my composure, and we both jumped when we heard a soft knock on the door. Brendon let his knuckles graze against the wood, cautiously stepping in, like he was afraid he was intruding on girl talk. I hadn’t even realized when his music had stopped.

“Hey,” he said, lingering in the doorway. “I was gonna go out and get some nails and stuff to hang up some pictures downstairs. I was just wondering if you girls needed anything.”

Hannah pursed her lips and shook her head, scooting away from me. “Nope, I think we’re good,” she said. Brendon nodded and looked towards me, eyebrows raised.

I shook my head. “I can’t think of anything. Thanks, babe.”

“Okay.” He stood there awkwardly, as if debating saying something else. Biting his lip, he glanced over towards Hannah, and then his eyes flickered back to me. In a few quick strides, he was kneeling in front of me, his hands cradling my head as his lips crashed against mine. He slowly pulled back, leaving small pecks on my lips before I could even register what happened. “I love you,” he whispered, his breath hot against my lips.

I blinked, dazed and dizzy, staring into his chocolate eyes as he pulled further away, his hands still softly holding my head. I licked my lips, and I could taste him on me—a mixture of Listerine and coconut, with a hint of his favorite coffee. It was the most comforting taste in the world, and it drew a tiny smile from me. “I love you, too, Bren,” I whispered back.

He gave me a quick smile, although it seemed strained. When he finally walked out of the room and his footsteps disappeared with the sound of the front door closing, Hannah let out a big breath. “Shit, he heard us,” she said.

I looked over at her. “What? What do you mean?”

She rolled her eyes at me and walked back over to one of the boxes. “Annie, please. He heard what you said about you being scared of having nothing if he left you. You could see it in his eyes.”

I didn’t want to acknowledge she was right—somehow it felt like if I did, the fears would be real and a crack would begin to splinter the foundation Brendon and I prided ourselves on. So instead I started arranging my shoes on the shelves on my side of the closet below my clothes.

Hannah didn’t push it any further, and chose to turn the conversation a different route. “What kind of job did you want to get then?” she asked.

The million dollar question. I choked out a humorless laugh as I set up my favorite heels. “Fuck if I know! I know that I hate all that office nonsense. I don’t want to have to feel bad taking time off to travel with Bren and the band. That limits my options a bit.”

“Hmm, yeah, just a bit.” She tugged out one of my shirts from the box and held it out to examine. “Dang, this is cute. Where did you get it?”

I glanced over at it. It was one I’d had for a while; a pale blue V-neck with the phrase “Curious minds wander together” stitched across it. “Oh, actually, I made it,” I blushed.

Hannah stared at me, still holding the shirt at arm’s length. “You what?”

I blushed harder and turned back towards my shoes. “I made it,” I repeated. I winced when I felt it being flung into my head, and gave Hannah a sharp glare. “What?”

“You made that? What else have you made?” she asked, glancing around at the mess of clothes piled around her.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. A lot of it. It’s hard to find shirts that look good on my boobs.” I’d taught myself how to sew in high school when I was in drama club. It came in handy making shirts and dresses that didn’t make me look as huge as I always felt.

She just gaped at me and pointed out a finger, almost accusingly. “You’ve been holding out on me! You mean to tell me all these years we’ve been friends you’ve been sewing your own wardrobe and you didn’t think to help a girl out with some cute clothes?”

I opened my mouth to retort, but yelped when another shirt flew at my head. Hannah jumped up to her feet and nearly tackled me, her face flushed with excitement. “Oh my God! Annie, that’s it!”

Her fingers were digging into my shoulders, her eyes wide and wild, and I warily leaned away. “What’s it?” I asked.

She slapped my arm and I cried out. “The job you can do, doof! Design clothes!”

I rolled my eyes and turned back to the piles we’d abandoned on the floor. “Schyeah, okay, Hannah. Let me just call up Vera Wang and I’ll get right on that.”

“Oh, c’mon, smartass. Just think about it. All of your clothes are super cute—I mean it looks like everything is from Anthropologie or some shit. Super cute, super chic. You could make more for all the girls out there with big boob problems like you.” She admired another blouse she’d picked up off the floor.

I tried organizing the piles into what needed to be hung up and what could be put into the dresser, but I wasn’t really paying attention to what I was doing. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea. Flexible hours, being able to do something I actually genuinely enjoyed…

“I don’t even know how I would get started with something like that,” I sighed. I ran my fingers over some intricate beading that had taken me forever to stitch on one of my tank tops. Hannah rolled her eyes and snatched up my phone, scrolling through it and then tossing it back towards me. She’d opened it to Pete’s contact.

“If that man could make a clothing line, so can you. I’m sure he’d be willing to help you,” she said, resuming her task of hanging up shirts.

I bit my lip and looked at my phone again, running my thumb over the picture of a telephone next to his name. “Do you think anyone would even like it?” I asked quietly.

Hannah didn’t even stop what she was doing to turn to me. “People love you,” she said simply. “They’ll love your clothes.” She let her eyes lock with mine for a second, and smiled softly. “And being with Brendon won’t be the only reason people know your name.”

With a sigh, I hit dial and held the phone up to my ear, giving my best friend a strangled smile paired with a sad thumbs up. She just laughed at me and excused herself to go to the bathroom.

“Heya, Annabelle. You rang?” I could hear Bronx shouting out something in the background with my name, and Pete laughed. “Bronx says hi, by the way.”

I chuckled. “Hey, Bronx! But yeah, I was actually calling for your help with something.”

There was some shuffling, and I could just picture Pete trying to juggle something around in his hands to pull his phone closer. “Sure, everything okay?”

I nodded, even though he couldn’t see. “Oh, yeah. I was just actually wondering if you’d help me with a business venture…”

--

It’d been an hour since Hannah had left, and Brendon still hadn’t come home. I’d sent him some texts, and he’d just told me he’d gotten tied up getting some more stuff he realized we needed. I was a little worried, but I decided not to let my nerves get the best of me. After my conversation with Pete, Hannah had helped me finally get my room completely put together. I hung up some pictures of me and Brendon, and got our lamps and tables set up.

It was starting to get dark, and after pushing the family and living room furniture around the best I could without help, I decided it would probably be best to go ahead and start dinner. With Hannah’s claim that Brendon was upset by what he might have overheard earlier, I decided to whip up one of his favorite meals to make him feel better. Well, one of his favorite meals that I was able to cook.

I was just about to start pulling out the pots and pans from the box we still hadn’t unpacked when I heard Brendon’s car door close out front. I grinned, feeling the familiar butterflies fly through my stomach at the idea of seeing him. I was about to go help him carry in whatever he had gotten, but stopped when I heard his ringtone begin to blare out of my phone.

“Hey, goofball,” I laughed, pressing the phone up to my cheek. “I was just about to come out and help.”

Brendon’s soft chuckle eased my earlier nerves. “I actually was calling to make sure you don’t,” he said.

I raised my eyebrow and tiptoed to the living room, peeking out the window. “Why not?”

I could see him standing by his trunk, and he noticed me peeking. “Hey, get back in there!” he laughed, waving his arm to direct me deeper back into the house. I rolled my eyes at him.

“Why can’t I come out?”

“Because I said so. Now, do me a favor. Go upstairs and take a bath.”

I had started walking away, but his words made me return to the window to glare. “A bath.”

He had started opening the trunk, but when he saw my silhouette reappear he slammed it shut and glared back. “Yes, a bath. Preferably one with bubbles. I know you love your bubble baths.”

“Did you bring home something illegal you don’t want me to see?” I asked with a sigh. I watched him run his fingers through his hair and smirked; I knew I was starting to drive him crazy. I was about to try to grind his gears more, but he hung up on me and sprinted to the front door. I met him halfway, opening it for him.

“Do you need me to put the bubbles in for you?” he asked with a smirk, snaking his arms around my waist when he stepped in the hallway. I shook my head and brushed some of his hair out of his face, careful not to hit his glasses.

“You’re up to something,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him.

His smirk grew wider and he laughed. “Duh. Why do you think I’m not offering to join you?” He kissed my cheek and quickly picked me up, making me squeal as he shuffled me into his arms to hold me bridal style. “Now c’mon, you difficult woman.”

My arms wrapped tightly around him for fear of slipping out of his grasp in the trek up the stairs. “Are you seriously forcing me to take a bath right now? Do I smell that bad or something?”

Brendon just giggled and carried me into our room, plopping me down onto the bed. He glanced around, giving a satisfied nod. “Damn, this place cleaned up nice. It’s like we actually live here now!” He turned back to me, and I saw mischief twinkling in his eyes. “Okay, so you don’t have to take a bath, but seriously. Give me thirty minutes and then you can come back downstairs.”

I sighed and laid down, nuzzling my head against my pillow. “Should I be at all concerned?”

His eyes softened and he shook his head, kneeling in front of me. “It’s me, Annie—of course you should be.”
I sighed and tried sitting up. “Listen, Brendon, I just wanted to—“

“Just hold that thought, okay? Thirty minutes!” He ruffled my hair and jogged out the door, closing it behind him before I even got a chance to finish my thought.

I knew it’d be best for everyone if I indulged him, so for thirty minutes I day dreamed about my conversation with Pete. He’d seemed pretty excited about my question, and said he had connections through Clandestine that he could talk to. Hannah was right—if Pete could do it, I could, too.

I ended up giving Brendon forty minutes, and then I tiptoed downstairs, listening for any signs of my fiancée. The downstairs was exactly as I had left it, but I noticed a glow coming in from the back windows. I cautiously walked up to it, wondering if a UFO or something was landing in my backyard. When I saw what was really causing the odd glow, I gasped and ran out the back door.

Brendon had littered all the trees and bushes with soft gold Christmas lights, and they swirled up around the pillars of our back porch like soft caresses of pale light. Brendon was tangled up in a strand in the middle of the yard; he kicked his legs around trying to free himself from the bulbs, but only succeeded in making himself fall over. When he heard my giggling, his head popped up, and he gave me a sheepish smile.

“Oh. Yeah. Wanna help?” he asked. I kept laughing and walked over to him, unwrapping the lights from around his ankle.

“What is all this?” I asked, looking up at all the lights. The sky was black above us, and all the neighbor’s yards were dark; our yard looked like we were harboring pixies or something.

He shrugged and sat up, brushing his palms off on his jeans. “I don’t know. I just felt like it’d be pretty.”

I giggled and nuzzled my nose against his. “Well, you do have an eye for beautiful things,” I joked, thinking of the sequined suit jacket he had hanging up in our closet.

He grinned. “I know. I have you, don’t I?” I felt my heart swell; he always found little ways to slip in compliments. Instead of acknowledging his attempt to sweet talk me into a kiss, I sat down next to him, looking up at all the lights. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and looked up, too. We sat there, content in the silence, for a while. It wasn’t until I heard the shutter of his camera phone going off that I blinked back into awareness.

“Did you just take a picture?” I asked.

“I couldn’t help it, we’re too cute.” He held up his phone for me to see; it looked like we had halos around our heads as we both gazed up, and the lights reflected in Brendon’s glasses. He was right, though—we were cute.

I sighed and laid back into the cool grass, letting my fingers tangle in the blades as I stretched. “I wanted to talk to you,” I said quietly. Brendon was silent as he laid down next to me, and it was so quiet I could practically hear his heart thudding against his chest.

“Okay,” he said. Those two syllables nearly broke my heart. They sounded as if he thought I was about to make some awful admission.

I rolled over onto my side and reached out for him, pressing gently against his cheek to make him turn and look at me. His brown eyes looked somber and bright, as if the brightness of his firefly lights were causing them to water. “I know you heard me and Hannah talking earlier,” I said, holding up a finger when he tried to protest. “Brendon, please. You’re not sneaky.”

He sighed and held my hand against his cheek. “You’re right, I heard.”

I bit my lip and nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about what Ryan said. It just…I didn’t want to worry you about it. Hell, I didn’t want to worry about it, but it bugged me more than I thought it would.”

Brendon frowned and tugged me over to lay my head on his chest, wrapping his arms around my shoulders protectively. “I’m never going to leave you, you know,” he whispered into my hair.

I gave him a little squeeze and rubbed my face against his chest. “I know that, baby. It’s just…sometimes I get scared. I don’t always know how I got so lucky with you.” I stared at his shirt, tracing the plaid patterns with my fingertips. “I’m scared that one day I’m going to wake up back in my dorm and realize all of this was a dream, and that I have to go through college again and stay in Maryland forever.”

Brendon pulled away and lay on his side to look at me. I shivered when his fingers grazed my cheek. “If this is a dream, I don’t ever, ever want to wake up,” he whispered. A soft breeze blew between us, cradling our bodies in a warm embrace and pushing back our hair, making it possible for us to gaze fully into each other’s eyes. In his I saw the same adoration I knew was mirrored in mine, and a confidence I couldn’t help but admire—confidence in himself and who he was, and confidence in us and who we were with each other.

“Hannah had an idea about what I could do for a job,” I said, trying to recall his attention before his fingers could massage my head into a near comatose state. He stopped in his caresses and leaned on his forearm, holding himself up to get a better look at me.

“Yeah? What’d she say?”

“Um, actually, I talked to Pete about it, too, and I’m going to meet with some of his connections from Clandestine to work on a clothing line.” I was worried he’d laugh at me, or think I was ridiculous for thinking I could do a clothing line. But his eyes lit up as he stumbled to his knees, staring down at me with a bright grin.

“Annie, that’s a fantastic idea!” He tugged me up to my feet and spun me around, his happy laughter bubbling onto my cheeks. I couldn’t help but join him, wrapping my arms around his neck and letting my own laughter shimmy up my throat. His breath felt warm against my cheek, and it hit me in soft puffs before he settled me back onto the solid ground. I shivered when I felt his thumbs dig into my hips, and had to grip onto his shoulders when he turned his bright smile onto me.

“You’re going to be amazing,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against mine.

I could feel my cheeks grow hot and I lowered my gaze down to his chest. “I don’t even know if it’s gonna happen, Bren.”

He scoffed and one of his hands linked with mine, the other sliding up to my waist. “Pish posh. You, my dear, are going to be sensational.” He gave my nose a little peck and laughed when I scrunched up my face in surprise. “Dance with me.” It might have sounded like a command, but his sparkling eyes gave him away for the softie he was.

I giggled and glanced around at our yard, smiling at the bright lights that had started to sparkle even brighter now that they had settled into the night. Turning back to Brendon, I shook my head, feeling my smile tight against my cheeks. “Bren, there’s no music,” I said, my voice catching in my throat when he pulled my body flush against his.

“What has that ever stopped us?” he asked. With that, he spun me around, slowly, before pulling me back into his arms and swaying us to the imaginary beat in his head. I stifled my giggles and instead rested my cheek against his shoulder, breathing in the scent of his cologne on his neck with a contented hum.

I didn’t realize I’d been crying until I felt Brendon dip me suddenly, and I blinked to see his concerned face looking down at me. “Shit, did I step on your toe or something?” he asked, spinning me back up to his embrace.

Shaking my head, I reached up to run my fingers through his hair and offered him a watery smile. “No, I just was thinking how beautiful this all is,” I said, looking up at all the lights illuminating our grassy dance floor. His eyes were smiling when my gaze returned to his face, and I linked my fingers behind his neck. “You are the best fairytale in the book.”

I gasped when Brendon dipped me again, and his lips pressed against mine in a tender kiss. We danced the rest of that night away, until our feet were stained green from the grass and Brendon’s throat was sore from serenading me. As we snuggled together in bed that night, I felt content for the first time in months that things were going to be more than okay in life again. And Brendon’s grip on my waist comforted me knowing that he had no doubt that things would be fantastic.