All Was Golden in the Sky

Being on tour with Brendon was always a blast. It felt so good to be back in a good place together that I ended up staying a little longer than originally planned. Luckily the other guys didn’t mind; everyone just seemed happy enough that Brendon and I were smiling again that they didn’t make too big a deal of the presence of a band wife for a good deal of the tour. Pete even cut back on the jokes about our increased sex appetite.

After the fourth week on the road with the boys, I knew I had to get back to the real world. “Call me as soon as you land,” Brendon said, wrapping his arms around me. Zack was waiting patiently by the car, waiting to escort me to the airport.

I giggled and brushed back his hair. “Will do, sir.”

Brendon grinned and pecked my nose. “Good girl. I’ll be waiting patiently by the phone.”

I stuck out my tongue. “Liar. You’re going to be getting drunk the second I’m gone.”

He laughed and shook his head, rubbing his face harder against my neck. “Will not! I’ll at the very least wait, like, fifteen minutes.” He sighed and tightened his arms around my waist. “I just don’t like leaving you, you know that.”

“I know, but it’s not like I’m going to be alone. Emily is flying in next month to visit, remember?”

He laughed and nodded. “Yeah, like that gives me peace of mind. You two are going to be up to all sorts of shenanigans, I just know it.”

I gave his pouting lips a quick kiss and smiled. “Nothing compared to the nonsense you boys will be getting in to the rest of the tour.”

The house felt kind of empty without him, but I knew the only way I could continue my building up of happiness was to keep busy. Emily would be in town soon to visit, but I needed something to do until then. So, rather than wrapping up in one of Brendon’s sweatshirts and shimmying into the warm embrace of our bed, I called up Barb and started discussions about the next season line of Always by Annie.

“The current line is just flying off the shelves,” Barb said. I could hear the sounds of chattering and shuffling behind her, and she pulled away to holler at someone in the distance. “We’re working on getting as much out as we can but the demand is almost bigger than the supply!”

“Well, that’s awesome!” I said, trying to avoid wincing at the shrillness of her excitement. I knew if I let her carry on she’d have me on the phone for hours, and so tried to steer the conversation in a more manageable direction. “I can work on some new things to send to you soon?”

“Oh, Annie, darling, that would be fantastic,” she sighed. “Just don’t exert yourself, dear.”

I stifled a laugh, thinking about just how much work she was probably putting in in New York and how it was triple the amount I was currently doing in California. “I’ll try my best. Talk to you soon.”

I felt exhausted from all of Barb’s energy and I hadn’t even done anything but listen to her. Too exhausted to even begin brainstorming any new outfits, and so instead set about unpacking my bags. I had accumulated a bit of junk while on the tour, so it took a bit longer than usual. It took me close to three weeks to get the motivation to put everything completely back in its place, but I was by myself, gosh darn it. It was okay for the house to be a bit of a mess.

As I passed the mirror by the vanity one day I did a double check, deaf to the blaring of my phone on the bed.

My hands pressed against my stomach, fingertips poking against a bit of belly that most definitely had not been there the month prior. Had I really pigged out that much on tour? I had to have gained upwards of ten pounds at least! How had Brendon not noticed? How had I not noticed?

My phone silenced itself and then picked back up a minute later, finally dragging me away from the trance of my growing belly. I tripped over my bag on the way and fell on the bed, muttering a swift curse before pressing the phone to my ear. “H’lo?”

“Jesus, Annie, thanks for finally answering!” Emily groaned. “Look, your doorbell or something isn’t working so come to the damn door already.”

“What? You’re here already?” I peeked outside just in time to see a taxi peeling away. “I thought you weren’t coming in for another couple of days?”

“Are you busy?” she asked, sighing heavily at the end. “’Cause it sounds like you’re complaining right now.”

Always the sassy one, that Emily. If this attitude was going to keep up it was going to be a long couple of weeks. I hung up before she could sass me further and made my way downstairs, opening the door to a very unamused sister with her arms crossed.

“Hello, Annabelle,” she grinned.

I rolled my eyes as she shimmied past with her bags. “When did everyone decide that was my name?” I asked.

She shrugged and hoisted her bags up onto the couch. “I think Pete sent out a mass text way back when and it kinda just sprung from there.” She looked around and nodded. “Nice place, Annie. You guys sure have a little home here.”

I hadn’t exactly mentally prepared myself for her arrival yet; it wasn’t that I didn’t love my sister, but somewhere along the way she and I had entered this competition. In Emily’s eyes, I was winning—I had the husband, the beautiful house, the successful business. Not to imply Emily wasn’t successful in her own right. She just always had this weird complex when it came to me, and it always put me on the defensive.

Instead of slipping into tension, I plastered on a smile. “Did you change your flight? I haven’t had a chance to get the guest room together.”

She waved her hand in the air, eyes still darting around and taking everything in. “Don’t worry about it. I just had to get out of Maryland, ya know? Shit, are all those Brendon’s?” She gravitated towards the open door to the music room, mesmerized by the guitars littering the wall.

“Oh, actually I learned how to play and those are mine,” I joked, noticing her eye up the pictures of Brendon and I lining the walls.

“Hmm?” she asked, dragging her gaze away from a frame with a picture of me and Hannah. “Oh. Funny, Annie.” She brushed down her jeans and flashed me a smile. “So. How’s about we go out for some dinner? I’m dying to try out this place Ma always talks about whenever she visits you.”

She was oddly quiet on the drive to the restaurant, even when I had to slam on the brakes a few times when the assholes in front of me decided to forget how to drive. Usually she was all over critiquing my driving, another apparent complex over me getting my license first, but when I glanced over at her she was just biting her lip and staring out the window.

“Everything okay?” I asked once the waiter dropped off our bread.

“Yeah, just bullshit at work,” she sighed. It seemed to be all the prodding she needed; the next twenty minutes as we waited for our food were filled with her venting about some history thing and some politics thing that. Most of it went over my head, I won’t lie. But she seemed a bit more simmered down by the time her plate was slide in front of her.

“Mmm, this looks delicious!” she smiled, leaning in and inhaling the heat from her pasta. “God, just smell those spices! That’s a lot of oregano!” She offered me her plate, careful not to burn herself. “Take a whiff!”

I leaned forward to oblige her, careful not to let my hair fall onto my own plate, and took a quick sniff. Immediately I could feel my stomach plummet and twist; my hand snapped up to cover my mouth and nostrils as I scooted my chair back.

“I’ll be right back,” I muttered. I hurried away before my stomach could lurch again, ignoring Emily’s questioning stare as I stumbled towards the bathroom.

I’ll spare you the details, but it wasn’t pretty. I felt bad disrespecting the fresh porcelain the way I was, but it couldn’t be helped. When at last it felt like my stomach was empty of everything but lingering acid I sat back on my heels with a shaky breath.

“Annie?” I heard Emily call after the creaking of the bathroom door opening. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I answered weakly. After flushing away the last of my sickness I stumbled out to the sinks, wetting a paper towel and brushing it against my forehead. Emily looked at my reflection in the mirror with concerned eyes, eyebrows furrowed and early worry lines creasing her forehead.

“I asked them to box our food to take home,” she said. “It’s waiting on the table.”

“Oh, Em, you didn’t have to do that,” I said. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened.”

She shook her head and awkwardly pressed her hand on my shoulder to steady me as I turned away from the sink. “You’re probably just exhausted. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have made you go out tonight. Let’s just get home and watch some Disney movies or something!”

We may have our issues, but my sister knows the way to my heart.

I didn’t feel hungry after my escapade in the bathroom, but Emily munched on her pasta after I popped in Aladdin to the DVD player. I kept my distance on the couch furthest away from her chair, and it seemed to help; I couldn’t smell whatever had set off my stomach earlier, and Emily was able to eat in peace.

“How many times have you conned Brendon into singing you A Whole New World?” Emily asked after she put her container in the trash.

I laughed and took a sip of my tea. “Actually never. I can’t believe I never thought to do that.” I snuggled further into the couch, inhaling the scent of Brendon’s sweatshirt that was wrapped around me. “We’d need to find a magic carpet first I guess.”

Emily snorted. “EBay.”

I made up the guest room bed while Emily freshened up in the guest bathroom, tucking the corners of the comforter just like my mom taught me. “Let me know if you need anything, okay?” I told her once she emerged in her pjs.

“Don’t worry about me,” she said, waving her hand again. “Are you feeling any better?”

My hands subconsciously flew to my stomach when I nodded. “Yeah, a little queasy but I don’t feel sick anymore. I’ll be okay. It’s probably just a one day flu or something.” I tried flashing a reassuring grin and wrapped her in a quick hug. “See you in the morning! Night!”

My bed felt pretty empty when I slid beneath the covers, but it felt amazing to stretch into the empty space. After a month being squished between my husband and a wall in a small bunk on a tour bus it was a luxury stretching my ribs under my sheets and stretching my toes and fingers to the edges of the bed.

I had just dozed off when my phone blinked on the nightstand next to me, Brendon’s contact picture grinning goofily at me. “Hello?” I whispered after bringing it to my ear.

“Hey, baby girl,” Brendon said. “We just finished our set. Did I wake you up?”

“Yeah, but it’s okay. I just laid down. How was it?”

I could feel his energy radiating over the line, so bright and happy that I couldn’t help but smile. “It was so great,” he sighed. “I’m going out for 20 Dollar Nosebleed in a minute but I wanted to say goodnight to you first.”

I snuggled up to his pillow and took a deep breath of the lingering scent of his shampoo. “I miss you already,” I sighed.

He chuckled. “I miss you more, babe. You sound exhausted. Want me to let you go?”

I shook my head despite the fact he couldn’t see it. “No, no, not yet. I’m just a little worn out. Emily surprised me a little early.”

“Damn, wasn’t she not supposed to get there until Thursday?”

I nodded and pressed my face more into his pillow. “Yup. Something about work. We went out for dinner and I got sick in the bathroom.”

“What? Shit. Are you okay, baby?”

“Yeah, it was random. Just a little embarrassing.”

“I’m sorry, Annie. I wish I could be there to take care of you,” he said. I could practically see his pout.

I giggled. “I don’t know how I ever got along without you, my dear, but I think I shall endure. You just go out there and rock those people’s socks!”

He laughed again. “I shall do my very best. Feel better, m’love. I love you.”

I smiled and rubbed my fingers over my tummy again, feeling it fill with warmth in happiness. “I love you, too, Bren. Good night.”

--

The next morning I planned on getting up early to take a shower and whip up a nice and nutritious breakfast for us. The plan was quickly thwarted the moment my legs swung out of bed and my feet touched the carpet; I sprinted to the bathroom as quickly as I could for an encore of my time at the restaurant, though with slightly less embarrassment since it was in the comfort of my own home.

“Annie?” Emily called, knocking on my door. “Are you sick again? Shit, I can hear you barfing out here!”

“I’m fine,” I panted, pressing my face against the coolness of the tub. “I’m fine,” I repeated, more in an effort to convince my stomach to settle.

I brushed my teeth and rinsed out my mouth, trying to wash out any lingering taste. By the time I had slunk into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt Emily was waiting outside my door, my car keys dangling off of her index finger.

“We’re going to the doctor,” she said. “I’m worried about you. And before you try to argue, let me suggest that you don’t.” Her eyebrows were at an altitude that convinced me more than her words not to argue with her, and so with a sigh I consented.

“It’s probably just a flu,” I grumbled after I was buckled into the passenger seat. I crossed my arms like I was a pouty teenager and glared out the window.

Emily just laughed as she backed out of the driveway. “Well if we can get you something for your ‘just-flu’ all the better. I’m not sure I can handle the sound of anymore puking.”

I rolled my eyes at her reflection in the window. Always finds a way to make things about her, that one does.

I hadn’t been in a doctor’s office since a follow-up check-up following all the drama from before. Feeling the chill of the thin paper of the table beneath my thighs made my stomach churn in nerves at the memory of my shame in those moments. I offered a weak smile when my doctor walked into the room, carrying his clipboard and folder as if they were a Super Bowl trophy.

He grinned at me when he sat back at his desk. “Hello, Mrs. Urie,” he greeted, tossing back the cover of my folder. “How are we feeling today?”

“Oh, just peachy,” I smiled weakly. “So what’s the diagnosis, doc?”

He laughed and glanced down at his paperwork, nibbling on the end of his pen as he read over the nurse’s notes. “Are you a gambler, Mrs. Urie?” he asked.

“What?” I asked. “No.”

He chuckled and flipped to another page. “I only ask because you seem to be very successful against bad odds. You might consider suggesting Vegas to your husband for your next vacation. You can win some money to furnish the nursery.”

My heart thudded painfully against my chest and then stopped. “What?” I asked. My lips felt so dry; I was worried if I tried to lick them my tongue would be sliced.

The doctor grinned at me and clasped his hands. “You’re pregnant, Mrs. Urie! Congratulations!”

I stared at him for a moment, letting his words sink in before flashing a quick smile as tears flooded my eyes. “That’s an awful cruel joke, doc.”

He shook his head and pushed my folder towards me to give me a look at the chicken scratch on the page. “No joke, Anne. According to the urine sample you provided us with you are, in fact, pregnant.”

My hands slapped against my mouth before the last word had escaped his lips, pressing against my quivering lips. “But…but…they said it was…impossible.”

His smile made my nerves go crazy and he shook his head. “Not impossible, Mrs. Urie. But as I said, you seem to have luck when it comes to tough odds.” He scribbled something on a notepad and tore off the page, offering it to me. “I’ve already called and set you up an appointment with your listed OBGYN following this to get some more information on everything. Once they check everything out a little more thoroughly they can better tell you how best to act next.”

He patted my hand and grinned. “Once again, congratulations Mrs. Urie.”

“Well?” Emily asked when I walked out to the waiting room. “Was it just a flu? What medicine do we have to pick up?”

“No medicine,” I said, surprised at how monotone my voice came out. “We have to go to my OBGYN.”

Emily’s face fell and her nails gripped my arms, turning me to look at her. “Why? Annie, is everything okay? Did they find something wrong?”

My eyes were tingling, and I could feel the tears trailing down my cheeks as a laugh bubbled off my lips. “No, nothing wrong,” I said. “Just…will you come in with me?”

“Of course,” she said, eyeing me warily as we walked out to the car.

My OBGYN had to be the happiest woman in all existence. Her smile was spread from ear to ear when she walked in, happily greeting Emily and me from our positions—me sitting on the overly-tall patient seat and Emily standing by my side with her hand nervously gripping my shoulder.

“Good to see you again, Mrs. Urie,” Dr. Aaron said, shuffling around and washing her hands with the sink in the corner. “I hear we got some exciting news today!”

I chuckled nervously, glancing back at Emily who looked completely lost. “I kind of wanted to hear it for sure here before I can believe it.”

Dr. Aaron laughed and nodded, tugging on some gloves. “Totally understandable considering the circumstances. Let’s check this out then, shall we?”

“What exactly is going on?” Emily asked. “Is my sister okay or what?”

Dr. Aaron nodded as she tugged a machine closer to where I sat. “Oh yes, she’s fine. Annie, could you just pull your shirt up above your stomach for me?”

I obliged, ignoring Emily’s concerned huffs at my shoulder. Dr. Aaron sat down on a stool next to me, still smiling. “Now, this may feel a little uncomfortable,” she warned, before squirting out some goo on my lower abdomen. I shivered a little and watched as she pressed some wand looking thing against my belly, rubbing the goo into my skin.

“All right, let’s see what we have here,” she muttered, glancing at the screen of the machine on her side. I couldn’t tear my eyes off of my stomach as she pressed the wand here and there. It felt so weird, and yet somehow magical.

“Ah ha, there we are.” Dr. Aaron smiled softly and looked up at me. “There you are, Mrs. Urie. I can confirm you are in fact pregnant.”

“What?!” Emily shrieked. She looked at the screen and pressed her hands to her cheeks. “Oh my God, Annie! Oh my God! That’s fantastic!”

I could feel my excitement rumbling up my throat, threatening to bubble out in a happy giggle, but I couldn’t shake off the fear of statistics that had been engrained in my head the past few months. “But…but…is it healthy? Can it…last?”

Dr. Aaron looked at the screen again, moving the wand around my stomach for a better look. “Based on the sonogram, I’d estimate you’re at about eight weeks. Practically finished the first trimester! Let’s listen for the heartbeat…”

She flicked some switch and got really quiet, pressing the wand a little harder against my abdomen. I could hear a light whirring and she grinned, looking back up at me. “That’s a fine heartbeat, Mrs. Urie,” she said softly. “All signs point to a healthy baby.”

The tears finally streamed down my cheeks and I convulsed as a sob escaped. Emily cooed at me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, rubbing her hands on my arm in an effort to calm me down. That little whirring became my entire reason of being, and I strained to silence my sobs so I could hear it clearer, mesmerizing the tempo until I could almost hum along.

Dr. Aaron grinned again and wiped off the goo on my stomach before turning to her paperwork. “We’ve got plenty of ways to make sure this baby stays healthy, too. I’ll hook you up with some pre-natal vitamins and a list of all the things to be aware of—eat healthy, avoid strenuous activities, the like.” She patted my leg with a smile. “I’ll print you a copy of the sonogram.”

The picture felt so light in my hands, and I traced my finger over the little bean that was my baby. This was real. This was really happening.

I needed to think of an adorable way to tell Brendon.