Gerard Way: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
Chapter One: Unpacking and Programming Your Unit
Part I: Unpacking
Before opening the box containing your GERARD WAY, please note that this box must be opened in near or total darkness, as your GERARD WAY will be very reclusive until he has become used to you. Once you have removed your GERARD WAY from his packaging, brush off any remaining Styrofoam pieces. Your GERARD WAY does not need to be charged before use.
To wake up your GERARD WAY, use the included coffeepot to make some of his favorite coffee. If he suddenly appears behind you while the coffee is brewing, do not make any sudden moves or loud noises, as he is very sensitive. Note that he will not be able to speak coherently before drinking coffee.
Part II: Programming
Your GERARD WAY comes pre-programmed with several functions, and he has enough memory to learn others. Additional memory may be purchased from the manufacturer.
Musician: GERARD WAY is extremely skilled at singing and possesses an extensive musical knowledge. This ability increases greatly when he is placed near a MIKEY WAY, FRANK IERO, RAY TORO, or BOB BRYAR unit. He will often retreat to a dark corner and listen to his included iPod accessory for hours at a time. (Note: Do not bother GERARD WAY when he performs this side function, as he will become very upset if he is not allowed this solitary time.)
Performer: Your GERARD WAY must be allowed to perform a minimum number of concerts per month. It is one of his favorite things to do and brings him extreme joy. He invents many dance moves for concerts. As your GERARD WAY can be very forgetful at times, be sure he is equipped with his included uniforms, stage makeup, microphone, and microphone stand before departing for a concert. He enjoys a wide variety of venues, including but not limited to large arenas, small concert halls, clubs, basements, festivals, and outdoor gatherings (e.g. Vans Warped Tour, Projekt Revolution). GERARD WAY enjoys performing much more when accompanied by the previously mentioned units, most notably the FRANK IERO.
Artist: GERARD WAY greatly enjoys drawing and painting in his spare time. He will use the enclosed art materials to illustrate various comic books. Be careful not to leave your homework out in the open, since he will likely use it to doodle. The GERARD WAY is very protective of his artwork and will not share it with you until it is finished. While he likes constructive criticism, rude or hurtful comments will often cause him to cry or retreat into a corner and listen to his iPod for several hours.
Best friend: GERARD WAY loves his friends and will do anything for them. If you ever need someone to talk to, your GERARD WAY will not hesitate to listen and give advice. He loves to help people. He is strongly opposed to self-harm or suicide, so be careful mentioning these subjects to him. He is not prone to violent acts unless wearing his included Revenge outfit and holding the included handgun. If you see him acting like this, tell him he is scaring you. This command will immediately reverse his actions and return him to his previous status.
Smoker: GERARD WAY has a very strong addiction to smoking cigarettes (and the occasional cigar) and thus needs to be allowed to smoke several times a day. Trying to convince GERARD WAY to stop while only result in him becoming very reclusive and mopey. He will feel very guilty about his smoking habit, but it will not be enough to convince him to stop because this function is pre-programmed.
Before opening the box containing your GERARD WAY, please note that this box must be opened in near or total darkness, as your GERARD WAY will be very reclusive until he has become used to you. Once you have removed your GERARD WAY from his packaging, brush off any remaining Styrofoam pieces. Your GERARD WAY does not need to be charged before use.
To wake up your GERARD WAY, use the included coffeepot to make some of his favorite coffee. If he suddenly appears behind you while the coffee is brewing, do not make any sudden moves or loud noises, as he is very sensitive. Note that he will not be able to speak coherently before drinking coffee.
Part II: Programming
Your GERARD WAY comes pre-programmed with several functions, and he has enough memory to learn others. Additional memory may be purchased from the manufacturer.
Musician: GERARD WAY is extremely skilled at singing and possesses an extensive musical knowledge. This ability increases greatly when he is placed near a MIKEY WAY, FRANK IERO, RAY TORO, or BOB BRYAR unit. He will often retreat to a dark corner and listen to his included iPod accessory for hours at a time. (Note: Do not bother GERARD WAY when he performs this side function, as he will become very upset if he is not allowed this solitary time.)
Performer: Your GERARD WAY must be allowed to perform a minimum number of concerts per month. It is one of his favorite things to do and brings him extreme joy. He invents many dance moves for concerts. As your GERARD WAY can be very forgetful at times, be sure he is equipped with his included uniforms, stage makeup, microphone, and microphone stand before departing for a concert. He enjoys a wide variety of venues, including but not limited to large arenas, small concert halls, clubs, basements, festivals, and outdoor gatherings (e.g. Vans Warped Tour, Projekt Revolution). GERARD WAY enjoys performing much more when accompanied by the previously mentioned units, most notably the FRANK IERO.
Artist: GERARD WAY greatly enjoys drawing and painting in his spare time. He will use the enclosed art materials to illustrate various comic books. Be careful not to leave your homework out in the open, since he will likely use it to doodle. The GERARD WAY is very protective of his artwork and will not share it with you until it is finished. While he likes constructive criticism, rude or hurtful comments will often cause him to cry or retreat into a corner and listen to his iPod for several hours.
Best friend: GERARD WAY loves his friends and will do anything for them. If you ever need someone to talk to, your GERARD WAY will not hesitate to listen and give advice. He loves to help people. He is strongly opposed to self-harm or suicide, so be careful mentioning these subjects to him. He is not prone to violent acts unless wearing his included Revenge outfit and holding the included handgun. If you see him acting like this, tell him he is scaring you. This command will immediately reverse his actions and return him to his previous status.
Smoker: GERARD WAY has a very strong addiction to smoking cigarettes (and the occasional cigar) and thus needs to be allowed to smoke several times a day. Trying to convince GERARD WAY to stop while only result in him becoming very reclusive and mopey. He will feel very guilty about his smoking habit, but it will not be enough to convince him to stop because this function is pre-programmed.
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No, this was not originally my idea. Yes, this is finally being reposted.