My Life Going to Hell

It was after 9:30 by the time I finally got the kids to bed, the dishes finished, and the laundry started. I started down to the basement, trying to figure out how I was going to tell Brian. Knowing no matter how I said it, that Brian was still gonna be pissed off as all hell. And knowing him as well as I do, he wouldn't listen to a word I was saying after that.

My feet started walking going slower and slower. I was hoping to possibly avoid this at all costs. But I'm pretty sure Brian would notice if our kid was born five months earlier than planned. I had finally reached the bottom of the stairs, having no idea of how I was going to tell Brian the actual truth. I stood at the bottom of the stairs watching him play his guitar. His head was bent down, his long black hair was in his face. He kept cussing under his breath. I'm pretty sure he kept screwing up a chord, he knew he could get right. So I'm pretty sure, if he was cussing about screwing up, he'd been worse with me when I tell him.

I walked towards him. "Hey, baby, we kinda need to talk," I said, standing in front of him. He looked up, shaking his hair out of his face. He didn't look to happy to see me, I could tell by the death glare he gave me, that he didn't want me around him.

I would love nothing more than to run right upstairs, and hide under my blankets for the rest of my life, but I know I have to tell him, whether I wanted to or not.

"What the fuck do you want, Spencer? I'm actually kind of busy, so why don't we do this later?" he said, grabbing his pick off his leg. He started plucking away at his guitar again. Apparently he thought that was the end of the conversation.

"No, Brian. We need to do this now. I've been wanting to tell you this for days. So stop playing your damn guitar, and pay attention to me for once!" I yelled at him.

He stopped playing and layed down his guitar across his lap. He stared at me waiting for me to continue talking. "I'm not really sure how to say this. So bare with me."

"Come on, Spence. I really wanna get this shit down before I decide to crash, so can we speed this shit up?" he said, plainly like he wasn't interested.

I took a deep breath, hoping he wouldn't lose his temper over this. "Remember how I told you I was pregnant two days ago?" I asked, trying to break it to him easy.

"Yeah. Is something wrong?" he asked. His voice sounded like he was actually concerned, but I could tell he wasn't, his brown eyes were still cold as hell. It hurt to know that he didn't really give a shit. It hurt to know that he'd rather play his stupid fucking guitar, than help me through this pregnancy, with his kid.

"Yeah, something is wrong. Something I should have told you from the beginning," I said, my courage rising. "I'm more than just a couple days, babe. I'm actually around four months along."

"And why am I just finding this shit out now? Why didn't I find this out four goddamn months ago?" he asked, suddenly standing up, paying no attention to the fact that his most prized guitar just fell off his lap and hit the concrete floor.

"B-because I was scared. I didn't know how you were gonna react. I know I should have told you a lot sooner, but I didn't want you to hate me," I said, the tears pouring down my face.

He stepped over his guitar, which appears to have no damage done to it, and walked towards me. I backed up, not really wanting him near me. "Spencer, I could never hate you. Yeah I'll admit I'm really pissed off. Pissed that you didn't tell me four months ago, when this happened. Also pissed, because you're pregnant to begin with."

I had been pacing back and forth, but stopped when he said this. "Wait a minute, what did you just say? You're pissed because I'm pregnant? It's not like I made you shove your dick in me, Brian!"

"No, but it's called the fucking pill, or using a condom, or some fucking type of birth control, that prevented this bullshit from happening to us," Brian said. He sat back down on his stool, that he had vacated before, and put his head in his hands. "This can't fucking be happening. I don't need this shit right now."

"So wait a minute, this is my fault because you didn't put a condom on your fucking dick? Or because I didn't fucking take birth control, which by the way I stopped fucking taking when I found out I was pregnant with Gabriella. I'm so sorry this inconvenience is screwing up your life, but I'll leave you alone," I said. I walked back upstairs.

I got to the top, and started heading towards the stairs that led to the upper floors of the house. I got to mine and Brian's room, and headed towards the closet. I grabbed a bag, that could hold my clothes in. I began throwing clothes from my dresser and closet in.

I still don't think Brian caught onto what I was saying.

I headed towards Gabriella's room, intending to take her with me. I grabbed a pile of her clothes, throwing them with my clothes.

I headed towards her bed to wake her up. "Gabi, baby. You need to get up. We're gonna leave for a while," I said, shaking her gently. She rolled over and eyed me.

"Mommy, I'm tired. Let me sleep, please," Gabi said, rolling back over.

"No, princess, you can sleep in the car. Come on get up," I said. She sighed, and dragged her tired self out of bed. I handed her a sweater to throw on, and her shoes.

I walked down the stairs, noticing Brian retreated from the basement.

"Hey, I'm leaving," I said, watching my daughter to make sure she didn't fall down the stairs, since she could barely hold her eyes open.

"Wait, what do you mean you're leaving? Where are you going?" Brian asked, walking closer to me.

"Well, Brian. If you don't want this kid, I don't want you. It's pretty simple. I want this kid, I've been wanting another kid, you on the other hand can barely deal with the ones we do have. I'm going to Matt and Aly's. But in the mean time, if you want to think this over, and finally decide us having another kid would be perfect, that's where I'll be," I said, pulling a sleeping Gabi off the wall. I walked towards the door, with a last look at Brian. Hoping he would change his mind.

"Anything, Brian?" I asked.

"Nope," he said, walking away from me.

I walked out the door and towards my car. Not understanding how I ended up with an inconsiderate prick like Brian Haner Jr..