I Miss You Terribly

Tears were slowly falling down my cheeks as they lowered his casket. I stood there and just looked at his grave after everyone left and cleared out. I was numb and my heart ached bad. I still couldn't believe my sonny bunny was gone, was taken from me. I cant believe this is happening, It started raining but i couldn't move. I was to dead to even move, but eventually it started to thunder and lighting so i decided to go home. I didn't even bother going to the party at Derek's house. I just got into my car and drove home, When i got home i had 17 new messages but i just threw my phone on the bed and just sat onour my bed with my back to his side. I got back up and stripped out of my cloths, i went to the closet and pulled out his Misfits shirt and inhaled his scent. I slipped it on with his favorite pair of baggy Joe boxer black plaid pj pants and sat back on the bed, again back facing his side. I began talking to nothing, yelling at the invisible god.

"Why god? huh why out of all the people on that street that night you chose to take him from me!!!! you fucking bastard, i needed him!!! He was supposed to grow old with me and be with me forever, and die with me. You fucking bastard...I HATE YOU, YOU FUCKING PRICK, why...WHY!!" i yelled to no one. The tears just started coming down even more now that i was thinking about it. I looked over at his beside table and saw his ring. He'd put it there that night, I got up and picked it up slipping it on my pinkie finger. Then i picked up our honeymoon picture of me and him and sat in the nook of our window. I looked outside...it was raining lightly now. I looked down at the picture. We were in Oregon on the coast. I was looking down at him with a big smile on my face and he was smiling down at his shoes blushing slightly. I smiled lightly then put the picture down. The was seriously all my fault...If i hadn't of screamed in his face or even if i would have followed him he'd still be right here with me, my sonny bunny would be laying in my arms listening to my heartbeat and my quiet i love you's. I miss him terribly, what hurts the most is i didn't even get to say goodbye or hold his hand...he died alone without me. The last words he herd from me were "Fine if you don't want this marriage then go, I'M FUCKING DONE...JUST GO I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE" I hate myself so much, i didn't get to tell him how much i love him or how happy i was to be married to him, or how much he meant to me since the first day i met him. Instead i was a selfish prick and let him go...Alone! i could have prevented everything, we always got into silly little arguments and silly little fights but we always made up and made love.Now its too late, i just hope he knows how much i love him and how much he means to me. I let out a sigh as the tears slowed down, i got up and went over to his side and lay ed down and quietly sang to myself. "Note To Self: I Miss You Terribly, This Is What We Call A Tragedy...Come Back To Me, Come Back To Me..To Me." Then i slowly fell asleep clutching our honeymoon picture dreaming of my beautiful Sonny Bunny listening to my steady heart