A Flower in a Field of Weeds

Amity's Point of View
As I stood by the seats, waiting for the plane to arrive with nothing but my ipod and a strong desire to go back home; back to Joe, I wondered if what I was about to do was the right decision. I knew I'd hurt Joe, I was hurting myself and, potentially, I could be hurting Jared if I had to leave him again- But I had to know.

"Amity!" I heard a familiar voice call. Oh no. Not now. "Amity!" Joe. Demi must have told him. I felt his arms turn me around to face him and he enveloped me into a hug. I immediately realized how much I'd miss the feeling of being in his arms if I found I still had feelings for Jared. "Joe, why are you-" I began in a hoarse whisper.

"Demi told me you were going to see Jared. Why, Amity? I thought you- I thought you loved me.." he choked, his eyes pleading for an answer. So she only told him half the story and not the reason. "Joe," I began, hesitantly. "I do love you." "Then, why are you leaving me for him? I swear, I can be even better than him. I'll do anything you ask me to-" he begged.

"Joe," I began again. "I am not leaving you for him." That wasn't entirely true. I couldn't be sure what I was doing until I saw Jared- Until I sorted out my feelings. "I am going so I can figure things out. I love you, Joe, and I owe it to you to make sure there is nothing between Jared and I. I owe it to all of us, really. He sent me lyrics, Joe, and I didn't throw them away. I'm worried that it may mean something."

He smiled, slightly. "You are such a good person." he whispered. What? I was about to go behind his back to see my ex and, apparently, I am a good person?! "You're doing this all just to make sure you avoid causing any future pain by leaving me. You are doing what you think is right and not a lot of people would find the courage to do that. I just hope you find that you love me more than you like him when you go."

Then, his face grew serious and he leaned down to whisper in my ear. He lifted my hand in his and whispered, "And, if you find that you love Jared, then stay.. with him." I knew it was killing him to say. "But if there is any hope for us- If you find any bit of desire to be with me after you see him, then, please, please come back to me." He kissed my cheek softly and dropped my hand. "I love you, Amity." With that, he turned and walked away.

I couldn't breathe. Did he just give me permission to possibly leave him? I was confident that I couldn't leave him even if I figured out that there were still feelings between Jared and I. Whatever feelings I had for Jared couldn't possibly be as strong as what I feel for Joe, could they? There could be nothing stronger than what I had with Joe, right?

My uncertainty was reason enough to continue the previous plan and board the plane. I kept telling myself that it was for Joe- That is was the right thing to do. Still, my stomach boiled with guilt. What is going to happen when I see Jared?