A Funeral of Hearts

After I've finished my story about my black outs and the hospital, the angry edge disappeared from Gerard's face and voice. He sat on the edge of his seat with my hand cupped tightly in both of his, his face a perfect display of shock, horror and sadness.

"Vi, that's horrible," he repeated for the 945840 the past 10 minutes, "Really really really fucked up."

"I know," I nodded, "Fucked up is my speciality"

He sighed, rubbing his face before taking a deep breathe, "I had no idea. This sounds like fiction."

"So what happened, Gee?," it was like the 3 years never happened. I was so comfortable in that chair in that kitchen, like I never moved.

He sighed heavily again, "God, Viola. Wouldn't you rather not knowing?"

"I think I would, but it's too late to go back now," I squeezed his hand reassuringly, "Please tell me. I don't remember anything from that night you rejected me."

He frowned then chuckled, "I never rejected you, Vi."

"Yes, you did," I reminded him, "That night after Diana threatened me and you didn't believe me and said I was just jealous and-"

He cut me off with a smile, "I didn't reject you that night."

"But-," I trailed off.

"We talked, and decided to give it a go," he stared at my face, his own face soft, "And then our parents caught us in bed."

I gasped, clapping my free hand on my mouth as though it happened just a day ago and not 3 years.

"Yeah, and then hell broke loose. We had a big fight with our parents and you blabbed out about my dad sleeping with your mom," he paused, "You remember that?"

I nodded again, waiting for him to continue.

"Then your dad hit you and fucking started a tradition," he gritted his teeth.

"He hit me again?," I whispered, my mouth quicker then my mind. It didn't connect the words to my dad. My great old fashioned loving dad.

Gerard nodded, avoiding my gaze, "Every fucking day," he gulped as though it was hard for him to remember, as though he was seeing the pictures playing in his head like I was in mine, "And there was nothing I could do about it cause you didn't let me fuck him up. He'll come back late at night, drunk and beat you up till you blacked out," he winced, "My parents of course refused to interfere, they were having problems of their own, they fought every night till the divorce."

Surprisingly I wasn't mad at him. The tears pooling in my eyes weren't of anger at him, they were of hurt as I watched my dad hover over my limp figure on the floor, yelling his lungs out. I shook my head and the images dissolved, "And her?"

Gerard wiped the tears from my cheek and grimaced, "She left that very night."

"She didn't know what was going on?," I hissed angrily.

Gerard shrugged, "I guess she was afraid. Your dad really lost it. He drank and gambled every night, losing everything he had. Including his mind," he paused again, grabbing my other hand, "He hung himself in the end."

My jaw dropped as the sob escaped my throat. One followed another and before I knew it I was crying, tears pouring out.
I was faintly aware of Gerard soothing me but he gave up and pulled me into his chest, patting my back and whispering something in my hair.

"There's more?"

"I dunno, Vi," he adjusted me on his lap so I was listening to him through his chest, "Is it really necessarily to wake the dead?"

"Dead?," I asked in shaking tone.

"She killed herself too, a week after you found his body. I think she OD'ed or something like that"

"I found the body?"

"Yeah, after school. In the living room. You called me and I found you in the corner but you kinda disappeared after that. You were kinda like....I dunno, just existing. You stopped going to school, you just stayed in your bed all the time. You weren't talking to me or seeing me or anyone really until one day I came after school as usual and you weren't there. Your brother sold the house and that's all I know."

"He hospitalized me," I muttered.

"Probably," Gerard agreed, "I'm not surprised, you needed help but for him not to visit you. That's a little hard to believe."

"Not once," I whispered.

"His only sister," he shook his head, "If I knew, I'd come. I'd take you out of there and took care of you."

"You had no idea," I shrugged, my eyes filling up again.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

We sat like that for a while. Me curled in his lap and him stroking my hair gently, "Tell me something happy, Gee."

"Like what?"

"How've you been?"

"I'm in my 3rd year of collage, just wishing away the days. But I love the classes."

"That's not what I meant," I sat up, circling my arms around his neck and stared into his eyes.

He felt uneasy under my gaze, I could tell, "Then what have you meant?"

"How've you been?," I repeated, reading the answer in his eyes.

He sighed and looked away, "Lonely and depressed"

"Lonely?"

"I've been waiting for you to come."

I hung up my framed diploma just over the fireplace, next to my husband's. I've got a late start on my college education but at least I graduated. The long nights and the never ending hours weren't easy but they didn't leave me bitter. I got what I wanted and I was proud of myself.

"Mom!," the 4 year old boy ran up to me with a big bouquet of roses in his hands, "It's for you!"

"Thanks," I knelt next to him and took in his baby face with his beautiful round always sparkly blue eyes and messy brown hair, "Where's dad?"

"He's opening the champ," Tom told me and ran back to flop on the coach, fixing his bright eyes on the TV screen.

The note I found in the flowers made me smile, I was smiling often these days.
Congrats on the graduation. See you tonight. Love, G
Just then my husband came through the door, holding two glasses of sparkly champagne and a juice glass for his son, "Who sent these?"

"Gerard," I admired the roses. I wasn't a fan of the roses but trust Gerard to be tacky, "He's coming tonight for the party."

"Uncle Frank's coming too," Tom informed us happily, "He called."

"Awesome," I exclaimed, high fiving him.

"So how it's like to be a college graduate?," Gray put an ever protecting arm around my shoulders.

"You tell me, you got there first," I teased him.

"Don't remind me," he pouted jokingly, "I'm old"

"Yeah. the big 28," I rolled my eyes, "Wonder you still have hopes and dream."

"Oh shut up," he laughed, squeezing me closer.

"Never!"

The bell rang and Tom sprang to his feet, running to the hallway before we managed as much as look up.

"It's probably Lily, they gave her like one fucking day."

"Uncle Mikey!," we chuckled as we heard Andrew's roar from the door.

"Should we really call all your friends uncles?," Gray frowned, "It's kinda confusing."

"Well they babysat him for most of his life," I mused, "Maybe daddy's better."

"Funny."

"Am I not?," I snickered and pulled Gray with me to greet Mikey.