Spike Me and Save Me

Gerard’s P.O.V.

I woke up with a startle – shot up to sit up straight. I didn’t get very far though, since I hit the ceiling of my bunk halfway. I stopped for a second or two, and then pulled my arms back to lean on my elbows. I couldn’t remember what I’d dreamed, but it sure as hell scared the shit out of me. I closed my eyes and swallowed the big lump I had in my throat. When I opened my eyes, I startled once more by seeing a face at the corner of my eye. After a second look, I saw Frank’s head hanging up side down, his big bright eyes staring at me in the dark.

“You okay?” he whispered. He must have woken up by the sound of my head hitting his bunk.

“Yeah, I’m cool”, I whispered back, smiling vaguely.

“Okay!” Frank whispered, this time a little louder, and with a more pinched voice. As he said it, a wide smile came across his face, which caused a sting in my heart – a sting that spread throughout every blood vain in my body. God, his smile was beautiful. So warm and comforting, always making you forget everything bad in this world and just enjoy the current moment to its fullest.
His head suddenly disappeared back up, out of my sight. As soon as it was gone, everything bad came rushing back – sorrow, pain and loneliness. The latter being the one thing I hated most. Since I broke up with Eliza, I’ve been feeling more and more alone. Frank noticed this early on and started spending more time with me, which didn’t make my situation better. I was so god damn confused. Ever since we first shared a kiss on stage, my feelings for him have grown. Even though it’s all just meant as a game – a provocation – I can’t help feeling something every time we share a kiss. I’ve always hidden it – not only from him, but also from myself. I’ve tried hiding behind alcohol, drugs, meaningless relationships, meaningful relationships, and my lyrics, but all those things have done nothing but bring us closer. After every episode, we spent more time together. At one point we spent 63 hours together – yes, I counted the hours – non-stop, just because we could. Even though it’s painful to spent time with him, because I can’t tell him how I feel, it’s also the best thing in the world to me. His smile alone is amazing. It can cure anything! Heck, it might even cure cancer some day. Make world peace or something.
I lay back down, drowning the back of my aching head into my pillow, as I tried falling back asleep. It was hard. Frank is not someone who you fall asleep to that easily.

I woke up the next morning – this time slower and less horrifying. I slowly swung my legs over the side of my bunk – my eyes only half open. I rubbed my eyes, then jumped out, though instead of landing on the floor, I felt something soft and uneven underneath my feet before I feel forward towards the bunk on the other side of the narrow hall. As soon as I noticed that I was about to hit Bob’s bunk with my head, I reached out trying to grab onto it. My hands only made it halfway, before I slammed my right eyebrow into Bob’s bunk and fell flat on the floor.
It took me a second to realize that I hadn’t blacked out, before I started feeling the pain of the collision. I heard Frank’s voice calling my name, but I couldn’t see him. My sight was kind of hazy, and my eardrums were pounding. Both those senses slowly came back, and I saw Frank’s face in front of me. Immediately everything felt better. My head still hurt, but it wasn’t that bad anymore. His brown eyes fixated on mine, and I had to restrain myself for a second, so that I didn’t press my lips against his. Soon I saw Ray’s hair, then his face over Frank’s shoulder. They were staring at me.

“Hey, Gee! Are you OKAY?” Frank practically yelled. He must have said it once before, considering his very clear tone. I swallowed slightly.

“Yeah. I mean… I think so”, I said. I realized that my voice was blurry. I cleared my throat.
“My head hurts”, I announced, as I placed my hand over my right eye, my fingertips on my eyebrow. I felt the tip of my index finger getting wet, then a tickling sensation down the palm of my hand. I pulled it away from my face to look at it.

“Oh shit! I’ll get some paper towels”, Ray said, as I looked at the palm of my hand, kind of surprised by the sight of blood. But why wouldn’t I bleed? I just hit my head, full force, on a fucking piece of hard wood!

“I’m gonna call an ambulance. He might have a concussion or something”, I heard Bob say from somewhere above me. I looked up and saw his head hovering above me. He must have been in his bunk when I hit it. Suddenly his face started to get hazy. I felt a pricking sensation in my eyeballs, as black dots appeared in front of me. I lowered my head to look at Frank, before everything went black.