Spike Me and Save Me

Gerard’s P.O.V.

The tour was great. My life was great. My relationship with Lyn-Z was amazing. We were not only hot for each other – we were in love. Madly in love. I love her.
I looked down at Frank, whom was lying in my arms. We were watching Dracula for the 150th time – the good old one from ’31. The 1958-version was great and all, but I liked the really old ones better. So did Frank – even though they were equally scary to him. He was pressed up against my chest, hiding between my arms, which were wrapped around him. He held onto my left arm and squeezed it tight. Even though my fingers were buzzing from the lack of blood, I still couldn’t help but smile at him. God I love him.
I wanted to hold him tighter, but I was already holding him as tight as I could. All I could do was just smile and lean my chin in his hair. I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent of his hair – of him. The stench of the bus entered my nose as well, but instead of detesting it, I welcomed it and enjoyed the smell – our smell. This was the smell of my best friends and I. This was the smell of my life – my perfect life. For once I felt like my life couldn’t get any better. It was beyond perfect. Ideal wasn’t even the word. My life was indescribably great. Amazing.
Suddenly I noticed that Frank seemed to relax. I hadn’t really watched the movie, but I assumed it was still scary considering the fact that Dracula had just bitten his first victim, which was now chasing another victim. I looked down at his eyes and noticed they were staring at something underneath the screen.

“What’s up?” I asked him in a low voice so that I wouldn’t scare him. He didn’t answer right away. His eyes looked sad. Worried. Like they were longing for something. I felt him take a few deep breaths under my arm. I gave him time. I knew it was something he needed to get out. I could feel it.

“I wish Dracula could bite you, so that you could live forever,” he said. His words hit my heart like electric volts. I felt sorry. I felt like this was all my fault. The cancer was my fault and now I was causing Frank – and everyone else – pain. I loved him for saying it, but I hated myself for causing him to think that thought. My feelings were mixed and messed up – love, regret, hate, remorse, anger, pity, concern, passion and affection.
“I know it sounds stupid,” he said. I realized that I hadn’t made any kind of response.

“No. It isn’t. I’d wish…” I didn’t know how to continue. I didn’t know what I wanted. I didn’t want to live forever, but I didn’t want to…die. I don’t wanna die. I can’t die. I can’t leave you. I can’t leave.
My eyes were burning and my throat was hurting. I blinked to take away the pain, but it didn’t work. It only pressed out the first tear that rolled down my cheek. I felt the pressure of Frank on my chest disappear, but soon felt his palm on my cheek. It caught the tear. And the next few. I didn’t open my eyes. I didn’t want to see the hurt in his eyes. It was like looking into reality. While my eyes were closed, it was as if my life was still perfect – that nothing bad ever happened. I sniffled.

“To me you’ll live forever,” Frank said – his voice filled with grief and sorrow. I couldn’t keep my eyes closed anymore. I had to see him. I had to comfort him. I had to let him see my eyes and the love that shone through them. When our eyes met, everything felt better. There was grief, but the love was overwhelming. I love you.
We didn’t move for a long time. Nothing happened but us staring at each other. Looking each other deeply in the eyes – in each other’s soul.
Frank was the first to break the eye contact and the silence. He looked down as he cleared his throat.

“I need some water,” he said before he looked up and smiled a bit. I smiled back.

“I need to blow my nose,” I said – this need obviously heard in my stuffed voice. We laughed under our breaths before we got up. I searched through my bunk for napkins, but I couldn’t find any. I went down to Mikey’s bunk and continued my search.

“What’re you looking for,” Frank asked as he walked by with a bottle of water in his hand. He didn’t stop – just kept on walking towards the back.

“Napkins. Tissues. Whatever,” I said as I pressed the back of my hand to my nose and sniffled.

“I’ve got some in my bunk,” Frank said over his shoulder. I got up and went through to Frank’s bunk. I looked around under the duvet and pillow, but with no luck. I tried his toilet bag, but still nothing. I stopped for a second to figure out where he might have put them. The pockets?
I stuck a hand into the pockets, which were stuck to the ceiling, and rummaged a bit. I felt something like a little box, which I knew wasn’t it. Right next to it I felt some plastic, and I took it out. Tissues! Thank you!
I took one out and blew my nose before putting the rest back in the pocket. My hand hit the little box again, and I couldn’t control my curiosity. I pulled it out. I didn’t want to be a snooper, but I couldn’t help but open it. I wish I hadn’t.