Spike Me and Save Me

Gerard’s P.O.V.

As I put the last plate on the table, I still couldn’t believe no one was up yet. I’d spent an hour cooking pancakes, omelettes, bacon and eggs in all shapes and sizes, but still no one had awoken by the smell, which was what I had expected. Do I really need to ring a fucking bell or something?!
I stood in front of the table with my arms crossed, looking at the bunk area. Wake the fuck up! Come on!
I wanted them to fucking wake up. I wanted them to see the results of all of my effort. I want them to get out here and eat it and…
My smirk disappeared suddenly, when it hit me why I had made the breakfast. Why am I rushing? The faster we finish, the sooner I’ll have to…
Suddenly an arm stuck out from one of the bunks, shortly after followed by a foot, and then a whole person. Mikey.
I felt a lump in my throat as I saw my little brother walking towards me – rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off by a yawn. I have to hurt him.
When he closed his mouth and opened his eyes, he was obviously taken aback by what he saw. He shifted his look from me to the table behind me, while his eyes slowly grew bigger.

“You did this?” someone behind Mikey suddenly asked, and – from what seemed like out of nowhere – Ray appeared with the same stunned look on his face as Mikey’s. I smiled embarrassed, yet proud, before I turned my head for a second to admire my own work. I can fucking cook! Who knew?
Mikey and Ray sat down next to each other, and when they started to dig in, I went to wake up the rest. Worm was already sitting on the edge of his bunk.

“Hey!” I said. I realized it might’ve been a bit loud, but since I was there to wake everyone up, I quickly stopped caring about that.
“I made breakfast!” Worm looked up at me and frowned deeply, but got up and walked towards my masterpiece as I shook Bob.

“What?” Bob mumbled and turned around to stop me from pushing.

“I made breakfast!” I said proudly and grinned widely. Bob frowned – his eyes still closed.

“What?” he asked again, and I pushed him gently.

“Shut up! You heard me,” I said, before I turned around to wake up Frank. I pulled the curtain away, and I couldn’t help but stop and stare at his small, fragile figure in the bunk.

“Is it safe?” Bob asked, and I batted a hand backwards, hitting him in the stomach. He made a muffled sound, before he punched my shoulder and walked towards the smell. I turned my attention back to Frank, and laid a hand softly on his shoulder. I leaned down and pressed my lips to his ear.

“Wake up, my treasure,” I whispered – intentionally letting my breath dance into his ear. He stirred slightly, and then turned his head so that my lips were close to his. He slowly opened his eyes, and I felt out of breath when I caught his gaze.

“Morning, sweets,” he mumbled, and I could have sworn I felt his lips touch mine. I pecked him once, before I leaned back out of his bunk.

“I made breakfast,” I said proudly for the third time, and helped Frank out of his bunk before I walked towards the kitchen area. Worm was sitting across from Mikey, who was next to Ray and Bob. I scooted down next to Worm, and quickly rested my head on his shoulder for a second, before I started gathering food from my feast.
During breakfast, I felt Frank’s hand rest on my thigh a few times, and each time I couldn’t help but to smile.

When all the plates were empty, my stomach suddenly felt horribly empty as well. This is it. I have to tell them. This is the moment.
I kept staring at the empty plates on the table, when suddenly Frank got up.

“Well! I wanna get home now!” My mind panicked for a second, trying to find a way for him to stay.

“Frank,” was the only way I could find – and it worked. He turned around with a surprised look on his face, and I looked down at the plates again for a short while as I took a deep breath. I lifted my head and pulled off a slight smile.
“I just wanted to say… Ya’ know. Thank you for the tour,” I said slowly – cautiously. They all smiled back at me, and I knew I had to say it right away – before they got too…happy.
“Unfortunately, this is really the end. This is really our last tour.” They all looked at me – confused, but still too happy – and I knew I had to be more specific. I took a deep breath and prepared for a speech that I didn’t know how was gonna go.
“I’m dying. There’s nothing more to do. The cancer has spread too much.” They all looked shocked. I felt guiltier than ever. My breathing was heavy, and I focused to keep it regular.
“The doctors have given me a month – maybe two.” I took a deep breath, when I realized there was nothing more to say except the obvious.
“I love you all. More than…anything. You’re my life. You’re so fucking important to me.” I swallowed, before I looked down at my hands in my lap. The first sob I heard tore my heart apart. When I looked up, I was surprised to find that it was Bob who was sobbing. I’d always thought of him as being a big, strong, tough guy, who didn’t let anything get to him. Yet now – now he was sobbing. He was hunched over, hands covering his face as his shoulders were jumping up and down simultaneously with his sobs. Ray rubbed his back – his own eyes closed. His face showed no emotion. I didn’t have a chance to look at my brother or Worm, before I heard Frank scream. I turned my head to see him, and before I knew it he was on his knees by my side.

“Gerard, please! Don’t leave me!” he cried as he held onto my legs, tugging at my jeans.
“Don’t leave. You can’t! I love you! I love you more than anything! Please! You’ve lived through so much – why not this?! Why can’t you stay? Stay! Don’t die!” He let his face drop to lean on my knee, and I soon felt his tears stain through the denim onto my skin. I laid my hand on his hair and stroked it gently, as I slowly felt my heart and chest be torn to pieces. I finally turned my head to look at Mikey. His eyes met mine, and somehow it made it all a little better. He understands. He knows. He’s calm. He’s here for me.
I let my eyes smile through my worry and concern, before I turned to look at Worm. He was staring at a lonely piece of bacon on his plate. Does he understand it?
“I can’t live without you,” I suddenly heard Frank say – his voice muffled by the denim of my pants. I looked down at him, and soon after he lifted his head to look up at me.
“I can’t breath without you. You take the breath right out of me. If you die, I won’t ever get it back. I need you. You’re vital to me.” His voice was low – almost nothing but a whisper. His eyes were so sad. I’ve never seen them sadder.
His brows were curled over each sad eye, and it took my breath away. You take my breath away. I need you.
As I stared at him, the thought of our love burned my mind. It seemed to send signals to my lips, but I couldn’t respond to them – I didn’t allow myself to. I will not kiss you. I’ll just hurt you - more. ‘Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.