Stain My Rose With Scarlet Tears

I was looking at Franziska as her eyes went wide, I don’t think she expected to see Bill. Personally, I was glad that he got here; I wouldn’t know how to handle this situation. It hurt to know that I didn’t bury all the memories as I thought I did, Franziska proved that. She turned around to see him standing directly behind her, his face slightly red; I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so mad. My guess it that he didn’t even hear the entire conversation, but he never liked hearing Melody’s name.
“I asked you a question.” Bill said through gritted teeth, his arms crossed over his chest, a small frown on his face. She looked embarrassed, as if she couldn’t look Bill in the eye either. Bill looked so serious, I wasn’t even sure that he was breathing, it scared me.

“Bill, I- I said, I was the one who took the pictures of Sam and Monré that my sister s- sent you…” She stuttered nervously. “But like I told Sam, I w- was blackmailed… I’m so-“
“Save it.” Bill said coldly. “I don’t even know what you’re doing here, the damage has been done, and nothing you can say, or do, can ever bring her back.” I looked at him with a shocked expression, I didn’t expect that. I knew that when he said “her”, he was talking about Sarah. Meaning that he blames Franziska, and it wasn’t their fault at all, it was mine, he would’ve found out eventually. “You know what,” Bill said coldly, pointing at the door, “I think it would be better if you just leave because I really don’t have the strength for this right now.”

I looked at Franziska as Bill said that, not knowing if I should feel sorry for her, or be mad at her, like Bill was. She looked up at me once more, when I saw the tears in her eyes; I looked away quickly, my eyes resting on Bill. He had no expression now as he watched the girl leave the room without another word. Today didn’t seem real, it was supposed to be one of those perfect days, that was all I wanted for Bill and Tom on their birthday, but it seemed like we would never be truly happy, not with all this drama. As I just stood there, not really concentrating on anything anymore, I was surprised to hear the door being slammed and the next thing I knew, Bill was storming into our room, slamming the door just as loudly. Bill has never acted that way before; it was as if Franziska had just poured salt into his open wounds. Knowing what was good for Bill, I decided to give him some time.

The broken camera still lay on the floor in pieces as I stared down at it. Quietly, a single tear rolling down my cheek, I bent down to pick it up. It wasn’t broken badly, so I could pick it up all at once, making it much easier for me to clean. I couldn’t understand what happened to me back there, I thought I was over it, but seeing the pictures of Monré and I, I never wanted to go back there again. I was so disgusted; I hated myself for just being so stupid, I hated Monré for allowing me to get that close to him again, and I hated that there was photographic proof of what I did. My biggest fear was that Bill might wake up one day to find that picture, and decide that he can’t love me anymore.

After I cleaned up, I knew I needed to check on Bill, but after everything that happened, I was too ashamed to face him again. Gathering up my strength, I knew what I had to do. My hand rested on the door’s handle, shaking slightly. I t was like my brain told my hand to open the door, but it got no response. I didn’t get why I was so afraid. He said he forgave me and he meant it, I was sure he did. I was never the bravest person around, and now I realized it, but I can’t ignore my husband forever, so after five minutes of standing behind the closed door, I opened it slowly. Nervously, I peeked into the room, not seeing Bill at first, so I walked in, looking for him. I walked in a bit further, only to find him in the bathroom, leaning over the sink, his head down and his hair falling in his face. I walked up to him quietly, barely hearing my own footsteps. I paused behind him, opening my mouth slowly, “Bill?”

He didn’t even acknowledge me as he kept on staring downwards. I stood back to look at him, hoping that he wasn’t mad at me, but it seemed like he was. My eyes travelled down to his hands, clenched into fists. “Bill… Are you bleeding?” I asked, staring down at his right hand. I knew it wasn’t there before, and it looked like he punched the wall. He’s never been such an angry person, has he changed so much that I haven’t noticed? I reached out, attempting to touch his hand, but he pulled it away from me, breathing heavily. It was the only sound I heard now. I was staring at him in the mirror, but still at his bleeding knuckles, I was worried about him.

He was bleeding pretty badly, and it looked like he was in pain. I couldn’t just stand there and watch. “We need to get that cleaned up.” I said softly, leaving the room. Knowing what I was looking for, I walked into the kitchen and opened the cupboard. Rummaging through it for a second, I found it, walking back to my and Bill’s bedroom. To my surprise, he wasn’t in the bathroom anymore, but he sat on the bed, waiting for me. He was staring at is hand, rubbing it softly. He looked different in my eyes, for the first time since I looked at him since we’ve been married; I realized how much we’ve both changed. Pushing the thoughts out of my head, I kneeled in front of Bill, a wet paper towel in my hand, bandages in the other. I cleaned it up a bit, before putting the bandage around it gently, not wanting to hurt him even more.

When I was finished, I stood up slowly, wanting to put the things away, but Bill grabbed my hand, stopping me. “Sam, wait…” He almost pleaded, his voice weaker and quieter than I would have expected. I was still confused about everything that happened that day, too much to try and figure out my husband all over again, so I just stayed where I was. “I don’t know what happened to me…” He whispered, looking into my eyes sadly. “I just… didn’t expect to hear that. I didn’t want to think about it again.”

His confession caught me off guard, he didn’t seem mad at me, but I wasn’t exactly relieved. I was sitting on my knees, in front of him, our eyes locked, and I didn’t really want to look away. The idea of someone new sitting in front of me scared me; I had this feeling that I didn’t know Bill as well as I thought I did all these years. Or maybe I did once, but he changed and I never noticed, or I never cared. “I’m sorry, I jus wanted to forget everything… And I still do.” I didn’t know how to respond to that, I just reached for his unharmed hand silently. He pulled me up, so that I was sitting next to him on his bed, but we were still looking at each other. The intensity of his gaze made it impossible for me to think clearly. Our faces were just inches apart, almost touching and I couldn’t speak. The attraction was still there, I loved him with all my heart, and it was a feeling that would never go away.

But I knew nothing is like it was before, things change in a blink of an eye. I’m not sure how long we just sad there, but a wave of relief washed over me as Bill’s lips met mine sweetly. It was nothing but a light peck, but I could feel that he still loved me. It will never be over, but we had to move on. And I was going to get to know my husband again.

Tom’s POV

Jami sat in front of me, a confused expression on her face, and I don’t blame her. I’m not usually the type to walk to her, while she was still giving me the silent treatment, and say that I need to talk to her. It’s only been a few hours since it happened, but I’ve learned that I shouldn’t keep quiet about these things. I basically had to beg her to talk to me after this morning, and I knew this wasn’t going to be a very pleasant discussion. I hated proving her right.

“Look, I know you don’t want to talk to me right now, but I need to say this.” I said, sounding almost cold, but I could hear the nervousness in my own voice. No matter how this all went down, Jami was going to get hurt. I know we fought a lot, and most of the time I wish I had never met her, but I loved her. “Jus- just say it, Tom.” She said quietly, knowing what I was about to say. I wanted to reach out to her, but it wouldn’t help at all. I avoided her gaze awkwardly, knowing she was staring at me sadly.
“I’m sorry,” I started. I heard her let out a disappointed sigh, confirming her fears, “I can’t blame you for what we- I did, because it isn’t your fault, it’s mine.”

When I looked up at her, her eyes were red, but I saw no sign of tears. “You were right, I still love Bianca, and she’s more than just the mother of my child. Today, when we put Charlie to bed, I looked at her… And we-“ I said cautiously, but she cut me off, knowing what I meant. “Did you enjoy it?” She asked quietly. I knew she wanted a straight answer, but I just couldn’t give her that. I kept quiet, starting to pick at a loose thread on the couch. After a minute, Jami asked me again, sounding much angrier than before. I looked up at her, feeling slightly scared. “Answer me, Tom.” She said through gritted teeth. I lingered for about a minute, and then answered truthfully. “Yes.”

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion after that… The stinging feeling in my cheek, Jami standing up, her crying. I felt guilty, but I knew I did the right thing. “I trusted you, Tom.” She whispered. I didn’t realize how much I’ve hurt her until she turned her back on me. It felt like I had déjà vu, this had happened before. I remember the last time like it happened yesterday, Bianca had been just as angry as Jami was now, was I cursed? And, not to much surprise, she turned to me. “Goodbye Tom, I’ll be back for my stuff later.” She said coldly, walking out the door, leaving me alone. I was so stupid, but I knew what I felt. I always got myself into these messes, and now, I’m screwed.