Stain My Rose With Scarlet Tears

I spent the night alone while I sat on the balcony, in the middle of a storm. I always thought not even the biggest storm could tear Bill and me apart, but I was wrong. He slept alone because for the second time, I was too ashamed to face him. I knew I was going to get a cold from the rain, because by the time the sun had arisen, I was soaked.

I had gotten so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t notice that it was freezing cold. Mostly I glanced inside at Bill, who lay with his back to me, but I knew he wasn’t sleeping either. This time, I didn’t want to comfort him though, because he hurt me. He said that he forgave me, but he said that without thinking, meaning that he had been thinking it all along. I wanted to make sure there wasn’t a next time, I wanted to prove Bill wrong, but through the night, I wondered why I should bother.

If that was what he thought of me, then I couldn’t see the point in trying to change his mind. What he said wasn’t a mistake, and I wouldn’t believe him if he said it was. I wasn’t expecting him to apologize either, but I wasn’t planning on doing it because I know what I did was wrong, and I didn’t think it was okay for Bill to brush it off. It was still windy outside, but the rain had stopped just as it started to get lighter outside. My teeth started chattering a long time ago, but the shivers just started. I didn’t have a jacket on; it wouldn’t matter much if I did because that would be soaked too.

“Aren’t you going to come in?” Bill quiet voice came from behind me. I jumped at the sound of his voice. I didn’t hear the door open at all. I didn’t turn to look at him, because there was coldness in his voice. That made things even more complicated. He was mad at me, I was mad at him. And we were both too stubborn to apologize.

“I will in a minute.”

I turned my head slightly, glancing at the door where Bill still stood, looking at me. I wondered if he knew that I was looking at him, but I felt my heart sink as he turned his back on me, walking back into the hotel room. I paused for a moment, waiting until I heard the bathroom door close.

I stood up then, running a hand through my hair, walking back into the warm room. It felt good not to feel the icy wind against my open skin. I could hear the shower being turned on while I knelt down, taking clean clothes out of our suitcase. I was a bit disappointed that Bill had gotten to the shower first, I didn’t really like bathing. My clothes were in my hands and I tried to listen to Bill.

He wasn’t whistling this morning; he only did it when he was in a good mood. I didn’t want us to be like that, we rarely had fights, and I hated to see it happen because I needed to learn to shut up.

Bill always showered for half and hour at least, he loved to take his time. When someone would tease him about it, he would say that he was cleaner than they were. He was strange like that. I started to walk towards the bathroom shakily, dropping my clothes as I walked. I stopped in front of the door, nervously. My hand was on the handle, pushing down as slow as possible.

With my dry clothes already on the floor, I started to strip off the wet ones. The bathroom was filled with steam; all I could see was Bill’s vague outline inside the shower. I started tearing off the last piece of clothes from my body, throwing it next to Bill’s. I wasn’t thinking at all, and I didn’t care.

I had nothing to lose except my husband, and I couldn’t bear that. I opened the glass door of the shower, feeling the hot water fall on me immediately. Bill hadn’t noticed me yet. I got in, closing the door quietly. Both his hands were running through his black hair, making it easier for me to wrap my arms around him.

He didn’t acknowledge me, he didn’t move, but it was impossible for him not to know that I was there. I ran my hands up his chest, tracing small hearts on his stomach. The water landed in my eyes, making me burn. I closed them, knowing that all I needed to feel was my husband close to me. His arms traveled from his hair, to my lower back, pushing me closer to him slightly. Bill’s grips loosened as I felt him turn around slowly, but our bodies were still connected, because my hands were still on his chest.

He had a small, crooked smile on his face and surprisingly, it made me smile too. I didn’t want to say anything. Words couldn’t express what I thought or how I felt, I had no need for them, and neither did Bill. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, pressing me against his chest. It felt comforting; I wished we could stay like that forever. Tears were rolling down my face, landing on Bill’s chest. I didn’t know why I was crying, I had no real reason. But maybe I was just happy about being in his arms, even if it’s just for the moment.

His hands started to move down my back, his grip starting to tighten around my hips. I let a small moan escape my lips as he massaged them slightly, he knew I liked it. It only made me want to be closer to him, if it was possible. I started to stand on the tip of my toes, my lips only inches away from his now. His face seemed to approach mine slowly, like there was a magnet pulling us together.

Bill’s raised hand ran up my back again, sending shivers down my spine, and then resting in my wet hair. It only helped him to push my head forward, my lips landing on his gently. I felt the familiar pleasant flutter in my stomach at the touch of his soft lips on mine. The kiss twisted much quicker than I would have expected, the lust painfully obvious in the way he touched me. It deepened quickly; I felt an unnatural weakness in my knees, something that didn’t usually happen.

But before anything could happen, I pulled away from him, panting slightly. I was grinning like an idiot, but I had reason to. We were okay, we still had it. But we were even more than that, we were perfect.

Bill accepted it, but held me to his chest. He turned off the water, leaving us standing in the shower, staring into each other’s eyes. I wished time could just stop and we could stay there, but I could already feel myself getting colder as the seconds ticked by. Bill planted soft kisses on my check, and a sweet tender one on my lips, leaving me greedy, begging for more. He smirked, kissing my head one final time.

He pushed open the shower door, and since I was in front of him, I stepped out first. My sight was blurred with water, but I felt the dark blue towel right next to me. I wrapped the towel around my body tightly and stepped aside for Bill to grab the other towel. I moved loser to the door, leaning against it to look at him. It was hard not to stare at Bill’s body. He no longer had the teenage boy’s body he had when we first met, he had muscles now and it fit him extremely well. Trying not to make my staring too obvious, I turned around and started to open the door.

“Oh, no! Now where do you think you’re going?”

Bill grabbed my arm firmly, pulling me towards him.

“Well…” I said, turning my head away from him, “I was going to get dressed, or do you want me to walk around naked?”

I hoped he heard the heavy sarcasm in my voice, but Bill had a habit of deliberately ignoring my sarcasm, sadly. I could feel him staring at me, his one hand drifted up to where my towel started. I felt his lips on the top of my head gently, his other hand traveling up my back as well. It gave me goosebumps, but in a good way, it was actually enjoyable.

“Actually… Yes.”

As he said that, he moved my hands and started to pull at my towel. I turned around to face him, smiling. In his favor, when I turned, I made it easier for him to get the towel off of me, but he should have known I was just a big tease. Just as my towel started to fall to the floor, I grabbed it swiftly, turning away from him again. I stuck out my tongue at him and pushed the door open, jogging away from him.

I was proud of myself, I refused to apologize, but we made up without saying a word to each other. It takes something special for us to understand each other in that way, and it was so incredible that we had that. I picked up the clothes from the floor, walking back into our bedroom, closing the door and locking it, before Bill could come in. I started getting dressed, grinning to myself smugly.

Bill started knocking on the door, but after five minutes it sounded like he discovered a new toy. Walking to the door again, I zipped up my black jacket, and opened the door. Bill was standing in front of me, a large smile on his face. His smile was contagious, no matter how hard I tried, my smile wouldn’t stay off my face.

His towel was on the floor, underneath his feet. I had no idea what he wanted to accomplish, but I thought he looked cute. I turned around, my hand over my mouth, giggling. I closed my eyes and turned around, when I opened them again; Bill was wearing his towel again, starting to walk forward. He stuck out his tongue at me and walked directly towards his closet. I smiled to myself. My life would never be boring, not with Bill in my life at least.

“Bianca called me earlier. She said we have to meet her by the pool area, she’s making lunch.” Bill told me casually, pulling a shirt over his head. I nodded, walking to the other side of the room. I started running my hands through my hair in a pathetic attempt to straighten it out. Two minutes later, I gave up and started blowing my hair.

After I finished, it took Bill another ten minutes to straighten out his hair and makeup, longer than it ever takes me. I grew slightly impatient with him, and by the third time he wanted to turn back to add some more eyeliner, I had enough.

I pulled him out of the room, literally dragging him behind me. He would’ve made a great drag queen. It may seem stupid, and some may find it hard to understand, but I really wanted to see my daughter. I didn’t bother to wait for the elevator; I just jogged up the stairs, with Bill following behind me lazily. I giggled as he started moaning like an old man, everyone knew he was lazy, I just didn’t know how lazy.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed his hand, pulling him up with me. I pushed the doors open, walking in on an unfamiliar sight, Bianca standing behind a barbecue, flipping pancakes. I didn’t know you could make them that way, but I didn’t know she could cook either.

She looked up when the door closed, smiling warmly when she saw Bill and I, walking hand in hand towards her. I looked around expectantly, but the area was completely empty except for the three of us. I saw Bill wave at Bianca out of the corner of my eye, and then I saw her wave back at him. I looked around once more, before I turned to her.

“Where are the kids?” I asked curiously.

“Tom’s bringing them up with him.” She said calmly, “They’ll be here in a minute.”

As if someone had planned it, the door opened once again when Bianca finished her sentence. He had the familiar Kaulitz smirk on his face. Charlie was in his arms, but since he was blocking the door, I couldn’t see Lucy, who was probably standing behind him. He walked to Bill and me quickly, biting his lip. “Take this as a warning… Look out.” He murmured. I didn’t get the chance to ask him to explain, my question was answered soon enough as my daughter ran to us.

“Mommy, Daddy! Look what I found!” She screamed excitedly. I looked at Tom with raised eyebrows. He shrugged helplessly. In her arms, she held a cat close to her, her eyes shining. I kneeled down and ran my hand over the cat’s head, I had to admit, it was pretty cute.

“Mommy, can we keep him?” She asked me, pouting down at the cat. I looked at the two of them and nodded, then looking up at Bill.

“…Sure, why not.” I answered. She squealed, putting the cat down and hugged me.

Behind me, I heard Tom clear his throat loudly. I looked up at them, seeing Tom put his arms around my best friend. I should have known that this was why they wanted us here. I left Lucy to play with her new pet while I straightened up completely, taking in their excited smiles.

“We… Kind of have something to tell you.” Tom said, looking down at Bianca. Bill and I waited, glancing at each other curiously. They took a ‘dramatic pause’ before continuing. Things like that always annoyed the living daylights out of me.

“Tom and I… have decided to give it another try. We’ve decided that we’re taking it slow, until we’ve… sorted everything out, but yeah, I guess you could say…” “We’re getting back together!” Tom exclaimed happily. Without another word to us, he turned and kissed her on the lips, completely forgetting of our existence. I smiled at the scene in front of me; I’ve missed seeing them together. I’ve missed seeing them happy.