Stain My Rose With Scarlet Tears

We pulled up at the apartment, the feeling of nervous butterflies filling up my stomach. Sadly, it wasn’t the familiar butterflies I felt when would touch me; it was the kind that couldn’t disappear soon enough. I held Lucy close to me, staring up at our apartment building.

It looked exactly like we had left it, on the out side at least. You never know what awaits you inside, and that’s exactly why I felt so uneasy. I didn’t want to be the one to walk into the building first; I didn’t want to be the one who gets out first. I sat back, biting my lips softy, glancing at Tom, who was now opening his door. He glanced back at his daughter with a worried expression, matching Bill’s exactly. He slammed his door carelessly, and then walked back to open Bianca’s.

I looked at the two of them for a brief second, seeing Bianca send him a grateful smile. For once in my life, I was able to see that her smile was fake, as was Tom’s smile in return.

On the one side, it felt like I wanted to leave my entire family behind and just run up to the apartment to make sure everything was okay, but the other side of my wanted to hide in the car. I thought it was safer not knowing, but we had to go.

After Bianca got out, taking Charlie by the hand, Bill got out slowly. I counted the seconds which it took him to touch the floor; he was just as hesitant as I was. Watching Bill move to his brother’s side anxiously, I knew I couldn’t sit in the car for much longer, even my daughter had started to get impatient with me. I lifted my hand and placed it on the handle, counting to five in my head.

I could feel everyone’s eyes on me, but I didn’t care at that moment. Once I felt calmer than before, I took a deep breath and pushed the door open, allowing Lucy to jump out before I did. When I saw Lucy run to her father, I got out, grasping the side of the door for support because my legs had fallen asleep on the ride home. I looked at the others as I let go of the door, shutting it. It closed with a bang, as we waited for Tom to lock it. It took him no more than a second.

I knew we were about to find out what had upset Simone, but honestly, did we really want to?

Our feet seemed to move on their own, carrying us into the building quickly and soundlessly. Bill’s hand wrapped around mine tightly, attempting to comfort me, but by the looks of it, I was calmer than he was, and that scared me.

Tom pushed open the doors and waited for all of us to enter before letting it close. I couldn’t help but shoot a glance at it, I would have done anything rather than to look in front of me, but I knew it wasn’t possible.

When we got to the stairs, everyone started to slow down, knowing it was only a few steps away, I shuddered at the thought. Bill and Tom skipped steps as they climbed, a habit they had since we moved in, making it Bill’s job to pull me up along with him. The stairs seemed endless at that moment, only then did I notice how high our floor was.

Our feet touched the flat surface of our floor with a distant echo; we just sped up from there. By the time we had stopped in front of our apartment door, it felt just like the moment we first found out, not really knowing what to feel. Tom turned his back on the door, turning to Bill and I, who were standing directly behind him.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bill nod at his brother, and then watched him as he turned around, his hand rising slightly. His knuckles touched the door briefly, with a barely audible knock on the door. Never in my life would I have ever expected someone to hear his knock, but a minute later, a tearful Simone answered, falling into her son’s open arms instantly. Bianca and I exchanged curious looks, quickly changing to worry as she let out a dry sob.

“I- I’m sorry...” She whimpered into Tom’s chest.

My eyes widened as I saw her fragile hands shaking right in front of me. She looked as distraught as she sounded a day earlier. Tom patted her back, dumbfounded.

“Mom... Sorry... about what?” Bill asked his mother quietly, approaching her.

She looked up when she heard the sound of her younger son’s face, her makeup smudged and her eyes red and puffy, like she had been crying for hours before we had gotten there. She shook her head for a brief moment, as we watched her lower lip tremble, as if she was about to start to cry again. All I wanted to do was reach out and comfort her. I wanted to tell her that whatever happened couldn’t have been that bad.

But that was the thing that bothered me, we didn’t know what happened, and if Simone didn’t tell us, I was afraid that we had to find out for ourselves. I stood on the tip of my toes, childishly wishing I was able to see past Tom and into the apartment, but it was impossible.

Tom was patting his mother’s back clumsily, eyeing us. Bianca and I turned to each other worriedly, wondering how we could possibly calm Simone down, it was killing me to see the woman I thought of as my own mother so upset. Bill took her pale hand into his and held it to her chest. I eyed Tom was he purposely walked forward, his mother not noticing the movement. As he did, our path was blocked again, this time, by Gordon, whose brow was furrowed in thought.

He sent Bill and I an apologetic look as we looked at him expectantly, hoping that he could give us the answers Simone was unable to. He shook his head. With a quick movement, he slipped back into the house, silently asking us to follow him. Tom nodded in my direction, telling us that we had to go without him, I started to walk forward.

I was shaking slightly, but as usual, Bill wrapped his arms around me, comforting me instantly. He threw his arms around my neck, allowing me to place my left arm around his waist, pulling us closer together.

As we walked into the room, I couldn’t help but let my gaze fall to down to my feet instead of looking around like the rest. It was only when I heard the sharp gasps of my husband and best friend when my head shot up, feeling a gasp escape from my lips as well.

“Wh-what happened?” I whispered hoarsely, staring at my home.

At that moment, it didn’t look like the room we had left a week ago, not even close, if I didn’t know we were at our own apartment; I would have never believed it. I stole a glance at Bill for a second. I didn’t know what to expect when I looked at his features, but it wasn’t what I got. His expression was impossible to read, if there was any. I saw no emotion in his eyes; he just stared in front of him, a small frown on his face.

I shook my head slightly and turned back to face the ruined room in front of me.

It didn’t look like Simone or Gordon had touched it since they called us, but it was easy to understand why they were so upset. Things like these only happened in movies I’ve seen when I was younger, when they were so carefully planned out, but like everyone, I never expected that it would happen to us.

Behind the half closed curtains, it was hard to miss the broken windows and shattered glass which lay on the floor. The bottom of the curtains were shredded, and deliberately cut open. The black couch that stood in the middle of the room was torn open, cut up and pieces thrown onto the floor. Thick layers of hot pink paint was thrown onto the walls, furniture and carpets carelessly. The tables were thrown onto the floor, chairs broken into pieces.

Somehow, they managed to carve holes into the wall, above it stood in big letters, impossible to miss from any angle, “We’ll be back for what we want.”

I knew it was a threat, and that one sentence brought my more fear than anything in my life because we had no idea what they wanted. I felt Bill’s grip loosen around me, letting go seconds later. He walked forward, everyone’s gazes turning to him for a moment. I watched him closely, waiting. I had no idea what I was waiting for; I just wanted Bill to say something about it all, to make this seem more real.

His footsteps were echoing through the room, as if it was empty, and at that moment, I wished it was. Anything would have been better than the way it was then. It didn’t bother me that it looked the way it did, not that much. The thing that bothered me was that someone managed to get into our home and do this in the first place. I hoped Bill finally understood why I had always been so paranoid. I never wanted this to happen to us, and now it did.

“Did...” Bill spoke softly, turning to Gordon, “did you see who it was?”

At first, Gordon didn’t reply, he just shook his head.

“N-no.” He stuttered, “We went... out. And when we came home, we saw this-“

“Bill, I am so sorry... We couldn’t do anything. Please, forgive us.”

The soft voice came from the other side of the room, unexpectedly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Simone walk towards us shakily, her one hand still on Tom’s shoulder. Tom’s eyes went wide as he got his fist glance at the room, but like his twin brother, he remained quiet.

Bill moved to his mother’s side, talking her hand in his. There was a small, humorless smile on his face while he glanced down at her.

“Mom, this isn’t your fault. None of this is. We’re just glad the two of you weren’t home.” He whispered quietly, reaching out to her. He opened his arms slightly, allowing her to come closer, making it possible for him to wrap his arms around her reassuringly. He pulled her close to her, wiping away a tear that was threatening to fall, causing a small smile to appear on her face.

“I love you, Mom.”

When I heard that, with no intention, I felt a pang of jealousy when Bill said that. Before that moment, I realized that I never had the chance to say that before and mean it.

I crossed my arms over my chest and looked away from them awkwardly. I felt a pair of tiny arms wrap around my leg, pulling at the bottom of my black jean. I looked down, momentarily forgetting about the scene around me when I glanced into the chocolate brown eyes of my three year old daughter. I smiled when she pulled a bit harder, making me kneel down to her level. She threw her arms around my neck and pouted for a second, then looked back at the front door.

“Mommy, when are we gonnna buy Tomi a bed?”

I followed Lucy’s gaze to see the striped cat make its way into, what used to be, our home quietly. I had to admit, I hadn’t thought about our daughter’s new pet since we had to board our plane hours earlier. I smirked; amused at the fact that Lucy was completely oblivious to everything that was happening around her. “Soon, baby. We’ll go tomorrow.”

She beamed at me, and let go, running towards the front door, grabbing her cousin’s hand as she ran. I stared after the toddlers for a minute or two, before returning to reality. I got up again, to find everyone staring at the writing on the wall. I sighed audibly.

I walked to the wall and ran my hand over the red letters, then turned to face my family.

“So, what are we going to do now?”

I knew that locking the door wasn’t going to be enough anymore. It seems like we weren’t safe here, we were threatened. I was never one to back down from a challenge, but the one thing that kept popping into my mind was our children’s safety. I couldn’t let them get hurt in any way, so we couldn’t fight back. Simone rested her head on her husbands shoulder, covering her face with her hands. Bianca took Tom’s hand and turned to kiss him on the lips softly. Bill turned to me, his brow furrowed. I knew what he was thinking at that moment.

“There’s nothing we can do.” He said seriously.

Because, I finished in my head, like they said; they’ll be back for what they wanted.