Stain My Rose With Scarlet Tears

My insides went cold once I saw the gun being handed to her, her smirk told her side of the story wordlessly. I closed my eyes for a split second, listening to the door being closed and locked quietly. Her heels clicked softly on the carpet as she walked towards us.

It was quiet for a moment as she stopped, it made me feel uneasy. She was standing behind me, much to my dismay. I could feel her warm breath on the back of my neck, I had to resist the urge to turn around and face her. I couldn’t control myself if I knew she was right behind me and I didn’t do anything, not after everything she’s done.

I shuddered at the feeling of her cold index finger tracing circles on my back; I sucked in my breath sharply. The moment I did that, I knew it was a mistake. Her sharp nails dug into my skin, reminding me of the feeling of a knife being sliced across my back.

“I was hoping you would be here,” She whispered in my ear, then pulled away from me almost instantly, letting out a high pitched laugh.

She let go of me completely and I felt her move away form Bill and I. For a moment I couldn’t see anything except the curly red hair falling past her shoulders while she walked away from us. The frail girl, who I now knew as Lucy-Grace, was still staring down at the floor, not daring to look at us since we walked in. Her hands were now behind her back, her hair falling in her face, making it hard for me to catch her eye; it was the only way I could get an explanation without having to speak.

Behind my bangs, I snuck one look at Bill. It didn’t seem like he had any color left in him as I watched him closely. His eyes followed the gun in her hands, oblivious to anything else around us.

During one of the days Bill and I spent alone in our bedroom, locked away from the world, I remembered that he confided in me the reason why he never wanted a gun close to us. He told me that it was one of his biggest fears, even being confronted with a gun, to him it didn’t matter whether it was empty, he was afraid. He would never tell me why, he didn’t think he would ever have to face that fear.

My hand was still inside of Bill’s, and at that moment, it was the only reassurance I had. As they stood in front of us, the last of the memories I had in this room left my body, because now it didn’t feel like I had ever stayed here, it could have been nothing more than another meaningless hotel room I stayed in for one night.

My fingers rubbed the part of Bill’s hand I could reach; it was the only movement I felt I could make now, as long as no one noticed. I still couldn’t say I was afraid, because I felt no fear for anyone, only hatred. There was nothing to be afraid of, not from what I could see. After all the years, she has always come across as almost harmless. She would try to ruin my and Bill’s relationship, she would even try to drive me away from him, but she would never go so far as to pull the trigger of a gun pointed at us. I hoped she wasn’t that cold.

She started to turn slowly; I knew by the look on her face that she was expecting to be questioned, I could never understand someone like her, but I couldn’t deny it, I knew certain things that went through her mind.

“Melody, why did you come back here?” I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat.

She flashed me a toothy smirk once she heard my voice. She lifted her finger and placed it on my lips, shaking her head.

“No way Sam, you’re not in a position to ask me questions.” He said in a soft, teasing voice. She took her finger away, shoving it into her black jeans confidently. She had a satisfied smile on her face; she was almost glowing as I looked at her. She took a single step away from me, and started pacing slowly. She took her steps gracefully, almost like a lion stalking its prey, swiftly and soundlessly.

“I suppose I should explain.” She said in a quiet, thoughtful tone, “And I will.”

She whipped around quickly, her hair almost hitting me in the face, her gun, unknowingly pointing towards us. I felt Bill shiver as it pointed directly at him.

“Later,” She finished, stalking towards the farthest side of the room.

She looked up at Bill, winked at him, and then shifted her gaze to me. I’ve only read how people explained what had happened to them when they would see someone who was ever truly good and the look in their eyes once their darkest desires would come true. They swore they would never forget that one look, and now I could see what they saw. She was trouble. The red glint in her eye told me that much.

“You can come out now.” She said simply, forcing her gaze away from me.

I was starting to feel uneasy about the whole situation now. No matter how you look at it, a gun was dangerous. Bill and I were locked in, and the last thing I needed right now was another surprise. I let go of Bill’s hand, I couldn’t handle the anticipation any longer.

I was always like that, especially when I was a teenager. I would always push the people I loved away when I needed them most. I couldn’t even remember most of the reasons, even when someone would just try to comfort me, I would end up locking myself away from the world. Guess it was something I’ve always been used to, I always handled my problems on my own. When I first got married to Bill, it was the biggest challenge for me, because I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do anymore.

It was a habit I managed to outgrow during the years together with Bill, he made it easier. He was always easy to talk to, and he could always make it seem better. But now I couldn’t talk to him, and I fell into my old habit again. My gaze followed Bill’s up to the door closest to the small balcony Bill and I barely used, which was the bathroom.

The door was opened slowly, and for the second time that day, I recognized the tall, blonde figure who revealed herself at her sister’s command.

It was only two people, but the problems they have caused us in only one year were more than I’ve ever had to handle before. I hoped that I never had to see either of them again, but nothing I wanted seemed to happen anymore.

Franziska, just like Lucy-Grace before her, had her hands folded behind her back, and she was staring at the floor. Her cheeks had a slight blush, but even after the day she left this very apartment, she still looked exactly like the same person I once thought I could trust. And once again, I wanted to kick myself for ever thinking I could trust in a stranger that wanted nothing more than to help her sister ruin my life and my marriage. I understood why she didn’t want to look either of us in the eye,

Franziska took her steps slowly, as if she was unsure of what she was doing. The sun was shining on her head, lighting up her features. She was beautiful; it made me wish, no matter how mad I was at her, that I could see her smile. It would make her look very beautiful. She seemed so nice when I had first met her, but I still made a stupid mistake by trusting a stranger.

Once Franziska passed her sister, they started walking together, in perfect sync, like the sisters they were. The only difference between the two was the redhead’s triumphant grin, and the blonde’s disappointed frown, it was simple things like that which could tell you exactly what kind of people they were.

Melody cleared her throat loudly, pausing for a moment to allow her sister to pass her. She walked around us, and stood still between the two of us. It was like they had everything planned out, the way they did everything wordlessly. Melody’s smile faded into a small one as she pursed them together in thought. I watched her furrow her brow in concentration, as she raised the hand in which she held the gun. She licked her lips slowly; it was all I could manage to see through my bangs.

She pointed the gun at my stomach at first, but let it rise to my head, where I felt it being pressed against my skull.

“Are you going to sit down, or do I have to make you?”

I wanted nothing more than to slap the gun away from my head, but it only took a second for someone to pull that trigger, and I didn’t want to take that risk. I let my body go limp as I felt Franziska’s softer; more caring hands take both of mine and put them behind my back.

“Sam, I am so sorry about this.” She whispered quickly.

I felt my hands being tied together, I didn’t know with what, but it was tight. Franziska pulled me down onto the stained carpet carefully, and told me to move into the corner, because it was for my own safety. Lucy-Grace did the same thing to Bill, as Franziska did to me, but she let go of him much quicker. Her hands were shaking furiously, but I couldn’t understand what had made her so afraid, after all, she was on the side that was winning.

Bill and I sat close together, our legs and arms touching. I knew if I only moved my head, I would be able to kiss him once, but I didn’t dare. Both of us wrote short-sleeved shirts, it was the world’s best comfort, if something were to happen to us in this room, I would know that I had the chance to touch him one last time.

By now, I knew that we made a mistake by coming to this apartment. I almost felt the need to laugh now; I was foolish enough to think that the warning meant nothing. Even if it didn’t seem like it at the moment, there was always something to fear, even if it was just the future. In a moment, everything can change. One moment you feel like a bird in a cage, and the next you’re free to fly. You believe you’re life is over, and then that someone comes into your life when you least expect it, and turn it around completely.

Or just when you think you’re going to live forever, you’re life ends in the blink of an eye, because that’s just the way life works. You never know what to expect in life, I’ve always tried not to expect too much.

Melody let out a soft laugh and she turned on her heel to look down at Bill and me. She ran a hand through her hair quickly, her eyes still carrying the mischievous shine in it like before. The corners of her mouth was switching slightly, as if she couldn’t smile wide enough. It seemed like she was the only one who felt that way, no one else even wore the slightest smile on their lips.

“If only you knew how long I’ve waited for this moment...” She whispered, mainly addressing Bill.

She kneeled down in front of Bill, crawling over to him. She paused for a moment, sending a sidelong glare at me, and placed her hands on Bill’s cheek gently. Her fingers trailed down to his neck, where they traced small crosses, and slowly turning them into hearts. She moved forward, until she sat comfortably on my husband’s lap. I couldn’t even explain the feeling that went through me at that moment, but it hurt me seeing Melody with Bill, even when he didn’t want to be there.

She kissed his neck softly and pulled away to look at him. It wasn’t the type of look I would ever give him, and I couldn’t remember ever giving it to him. I knew the look of love that reflected in Bill’s eyes, I would have the same look whenever Bill would catch my eye. But of course, Melody wasn’t me. Not even close.

“Whoever thought that it would all end up this way, Bill?” She whispered thoughtfully, taking a piece of his raven-black hair and twirling it in between her fingers, “I always knew we’d be together in the end. And we will.”

No matter how much either of us disagreed with that comment, Bill and I kept our mouths shut. Bill only feared the gun, that was why he didn’t dare disagree, and I was afraid that Melody might use that fear against him. The more she spoke, the more my heart broke into pieces, and the more I wondered what might happen when this day so over, if it will ever end.

“And now, you’ll realize, everything I have ever done wrong in your eyes, I did it to save you.”

She turned and smirked at me, taking the gun in her other hand, twisting it around between her fingers. I knew that if she made only one wrong move, she would pull the trigger. I almost felt my heart stop beating each time the gun would pass over my husband’s face; I didn’t want him to get hurt. Not like this. I saw the fear in his eyes, I would give anything to be able to hear his thoughts at that moment, and as he glanced back at me, it felt like he wanted the same thing.

Melody got off of Bill once she saw Bill’s eyes flicker to me, her smirk turning into an instant grimace. On the tip of her toes, she started walking towards her sister and the fragile girl, Lucy-Grace. She crossed her arms over her chest, and nodded slowly.

“You can go now,” She said simply, “Your work is done, go keep watch outside.”

I couldn’t say I was surprised by the way she treated them, she had no respect. They could have been nothing more than animals in her eyes, after everything she made them do; she didn’t even sound the least bit grateful. I knew if I ever had the chance to see my sister again, I could never treat her like that. I loved her too much.

The two merely nodded, wordlessly exiting the room, locking the door as they left, and leaving us alone with Bill’s ex-girlfriend.

“Melody...” Bill started in a soft whimper, “Why are you doing this now? After everything we’ve been through... because of you. And now this, but why?”

She fell down onto our bed, resting her one hand behind her head for a second, and then sat up to look at us. She raised one eyebrow, glancing down at Bill. She had no trace of humor left in her expression. She knew her game was almost over, and for once, I hoped that we weren’t going to be the ones on the losing end. She remained quiet for a moment.

At first, I doubted that she would waste her time explaining to Bill, but for a moment she looked thoughtful, nothing like I’d seen in her since the day Bill left her years ago. It seemed like she was considering telling him the truth. I would never say it out loud, but I wanted to hear her excuse. The scene reminded me of something I’ve seen many times before, but only on television or in movies, something that I never thought could happen in real life.

The only question they ever seemed to ask, but it was the only question that ever fit. No one can guarantee the truth from someone like Melody, and you never know what to believe. I tried not to stare at either of them, Melody never could like me. All I wanted was for her to forget I was in the room, she could never tell Bill the truth if I was listening.

I kept my head down, allowing my hair to block any view I had of Bill and Melody, for a second, I allowed myself to stop breathing.

Bill’s breathing was getting heavier with anticipation. I kept my mind on the heat radiating from Bill’s body. For a moment I could almost imagine that we were touching each other the way we used to when things got hard in the past.

My heart was starting to beat twice as hard, as if it was trying to rip through my skin. I didn’t care about anything outside that room at that moment, my thoughts racing through my brain quickly. If I had the chance to close my eyes at that moment, and wake up in my old bed, in the small town I was born in, where I would still live with the woman I used to call my mother and half-brother, I still wouldn’t. Life before Bill was never complete, and even back then, all I had to get me through the days were the dreams I now had the chance to live.

My life was better than most people could ever want, and nothing would have been that way without Bill. I was grateful, even now, that he was here with me. I wouldn’t have been this calm if I was alone, Bill just had this air around him, that even when he was afraid, he could make me calm. If he couldn’t be the strong one in moments like these, he gave me the strength to be that one.

I moved my hands behind my back slowly, where I knew that I would be to touch Bill again. My hand found his easily, and all I did, was gave him one quick squeeze and let go again. His gaze found mine for nothing more than a second as he sent me a small smile, making his eyes shine brighter than I’ve seen in the past month.

“You used to be my best friend, Bill,” Melody said, breaking the moment Bill and I shared, “Honestly; I loved you more than I loved anyone before, and I don’t think it will ever go away. It really hurt to lose you the way I did.”

Her answer was simple, and it made everything clearer, but I still couldn’t understand what made her want to ruin our lives. I always believed in the saying “If you love something let it go, if it comes back, it’s yours.” And the fact of the matter was, Bill never came back to her. Bill and I were meant to be, and Bill always tried to reassure me that she would accept it one day. I guess he was wrong about that one, because she never let go of her love for him.

“You taught me most of what I knew today, and I just couldn’t understand how that love you had for me turned to hate so quickly. I grew up thinking we would end up married some day, and I wanted to make that happen,” She continued darkly, “You know what I was like, and I’m still like that. You should have known that I can do.”

“You tried to kill me,” Bill whispered through gritted teeth.

I could only imagine the look on Melody’s face at that accusation, but I wouldn’t dare take the risk to look at either of them. I had a feeling that Melody couldn’t have had the gun in her hands at that moment, for if she did, Bill wouldn’t have said those words out loud. Something Bill and I knew how to do since we were young, was to only address people when they have a weaker moment. It came in handy through our life.

“Bill... I – I honestly didn’t think it would go that far. It had nothing to do with you; I just wanted to show you...” In that one sentence, I could hear her tone change completely. Because once again, the months of my life I’ve tried to forget, seemed to be brought up again. There hasn’t been a day in my life where I would wake up and not wonder if Bill remembered what I did, and once again, I started to doubt if he still loved me.

“I just wanted to show you what your wife really was; I’ve been trying to do that since the start!” She seemed much angrier once I was bought up, and once I was, I knew it was okay for me to look up again, “You’re too forgiving for your own good.”

I looked up just in time to see the disgusted look Melody sent me, and this time, she had a reason to do it. I felt like trash, and even more so when someone who tried to point it out so many times before said it to my face. I knew she hated me, and I thought I knew why, but something else she revealed without really knowing it, was that she didn’t just hate me for , according to her, taking Bill away from her, but also they way I’ve treated Bill. I never really appreciated him the way she believed she could.

As I guessed, Melody stood up again, she was standing right in front of Bill, and the gun neatly lay behind her on the bed. She still had the confidence she had before, it was hard to miss, but she didn’t seem so intimidating without the gun in her hands.

“All I wanted to do was move on with my life,” Bill said, a slight smirk on his face, “Something you should try doing, Melody.”

Melody didn’t seem stable since she entered the room, almost like she didn’t really know what to feel right now. It was obvious that this all was planned out perfectly, she knew what she wanted to do to us, and she knew what she wanted to say, but she never thought of what reply she would get from Bill and me. I don’t think se really knew what to feel. I knew that Bill shouldn’t have said that when the color started to rise to her face.

Instantly she turned on her heel and grabbed the gun and held it in her hands, pointed at Bill.

“I’ve had this planned out for far too long for you to ruin this day, Bill Kaulitz.” She spat out. “You don’t know me anymore and you don’t know what I’m willing to do. Don’t push me.”

Bill glanced up at her bravely, but I couldn’t miss the gesture Bill made once he saw the gun pointed at him again. I could almost hear him gulp; I hated seeing Bill that scared. I knew if Melody truly loved Bill the way she claimed she did, she would never even think of hurting him.

“Please!” I blurt out loudly, “Just don’t hurt him.”

She switched her gaze to me, and slowly, I was forced to watch her devious smirk from before return to her lips. She shook her head slowly, her red hair framing her face as she did. She turned and pointed the gun at me.

“I wasn’t planning to.” She said in a low voice.

“Samantha,” She said my name slowly, a small crease appearing on her forehead as she glared at me, “When you came along, that was when my problems started. You made me look like a monster, even when I tried to save Bill from people like you. You took everything from me, everything that could have been mine. And I’ve wanted to get back at you since the day it happened.

“And that day is today.” She said with a satisfied smile.

“Melody, you wouldn’t...” Bill mumbled quietly.

“Actually, Bill, I would. And I will.”

Bill shook his head quickly, his hysteria rising quickly. Even with the gun pointed at me, and Melody’s finger on the trigger, I wasn’t exactly afraid. There was no doubt in my mind that she would do it, even if it was in front of Bill, she could do it. There was a difference between dying and only getting hurt, but I was sure Melody would want to do more than just injure me. True, I didn’t want to die yet; it wasn’t something I thought about often, I wasn’t ready.

It was only normal for me to think that way, because of what I’m faced with. Some say they see their lives flash before their eyes, I was different. All I could see was the things I never got to do, and if something were to happen, then I would never do it.

The first thing I thought of was my daughter. I would never see her grow up. And one day, I wouldn’t be there to help her pick out a wedding dress. I would never be her children’s grandmother. They would never know me. I was pretty sure that not even Lucy would remember be twenty years from now, we didn’t have that much time together, after all. My heart broke at the thought.

My best friends came second. I thought of Georg’s reaction when Bianca planned to tell him about her and Tom over Christmas. I wondered if they would ever get married again, because they’ve always been perfect together.

There were some things I never did that made me regret not doing it sooner. I’ve always wanted a big family, even though I loved Lucy with every part of me. Some day I wanted to gather up the courage to ask my father why he lied to me about my mother. I never knew her, and I’ll never get the chance. Because it’s too late. I’ll never get to grow old with Bill, when I wanted to be with him until we turned ninety one day. I wanted to perform again.

I looked straight at the gun pointed at me when I felt Bill’s hand wrap around my wrist. I prayed that she wouldn’t do it. I just wanted her to walk away, so we can forget about this day. There were so many things I still wanted to do, even if I only realized it now.

“I love you.” I squeaked out, only loud enough for Bill to hear me.

“You’re not going to die.” Bill said slowly, but I didn’t hear the confidence in his voice that I longed for. I let his hand slide from my wrist and placed it under my hand.

“Just tell me you love me.” It was all I wanted to hear then.

If I were to die, I knew he’d be okay. As long as he told Lucy about me when she was older. He was a good father, and he would take care of her. Georg was strong, and he would be okay. Charlie would lead and almost normal life, with her parents happy together. Simone and Gordon wouldn’t have to feel guilty anymore. It would have happened anyway.

“I love you.” He said seriously.

When I thought about death, I wanted it to be quick and painless. Even as a child, it was all I wanted was for it to be over soon. I never liked the thought of feeling the pain that might kill you in the end. It always scared me. Everything seemed to happen slowly from there, as if Melody wanted to remember this moment forever. I felt like I could get up and run away from her, but even that wouldn’t work. Slowly it started to sink in. I was going to die today.

I didn’t even hear the gunshot.

I couldn’t hear Melody’s laugh.

I had trouble hearing Bill’s painful screams.

I couldn’t think for any longer than a second after my last breath.

But I knew one thing; Melody got her revenge.