The Party Scene

Chapter 13
Life On Standby

Not but a few hours later was it that Alex was tossing around the bed when he opened his eyes, and quickly shut them again. Blinded by the light; he blinked multiple times before he could actually focus on the room. He had no idea where he was, as he could tell from the plastered pictures covering the hot pink striped wall he wasn't in his room. Not unless someone had played a trick on him while he was asleep and redecorated his room. Or possibly he was still asleep. He quickly pinched himself. "Ow." he mumbled to himself. Realizing how stupid he was, you can't pinch your own self to see if you're awake. He looked around the room more and spotted his shirt at the edge of the bed, he gazed from that then slowly forwarded his gaze to other parts of the bed. Nothing to the right side of him, then he switched to the other side...there was definitely something. Not something, it was someone, someone that Alex couldn't distinguish. The girls face (he hoped it was a girl) was covered by her matted down dark brown hair. Being completely lost and having no other clue as to what to do, he tapped the girl, but she didn't budge. He tapped her again, and lightly began to shake her, but still no movement from the unknown girl laying next to him.

"Hey?" he shouted more loudly then he expected that he even scared himself by the sound escaping his mouth. The girl inched a little and began to move around under the sheets some, adjusting herself in a new position, hair still covering her face. "You...girl get up! Who are you?" he went on as he continued to tap the girl. She remained the same, so finally he decided to sit on top of her and lightly grab her shoulders and shook them up and down. This was a success, and the girl flickered her eyes a few times as she slowly began to drift back asleep. "Hey, no don't do that!" he said shaking her even harder, this time she immediately opened her eyes and stared at the guy who was sitting on top of her.

"Alex what are you doing? Why are you on top of me?" she asked rubbing her eyes with the palms of her hands. He looked at her trying to figure out who she was and how she possibly knew him, but couldn't come to a conclusion.

"How do you know my name, who are you?" he asked as his voice came across with confusion.

"Alex, are you okay...it's me Lena, don't you remember me?" she questioned trying to sit up so that her back was against the headboard while Alex was sit on top of her, his weight was too much for her to shift, and he got the picture and got off of her and sat next to her while thinking of what to say.

"Lena." he rolled off his tongue. "Oooh...Lena yeah now I remember." he said half true, he was still having a hard time remembering what his connection was with her.

"I think somebody may have had a little too much to drink last night." she giggled shifting her fingers through his hair.

"What happened last night?" he asked.

"You really don't remember? You were here at my party." she replied.

"Right." he said blankly. "What else happened?" he continued.

"A whole lot happened. But you did fall off the couch pretty hard last night onto the wood floor, maybe you hit your head too hard?" she shrugged.

"Oh I think I remember that." he chuckled.

"Good. Wait you aren't saying so, just so I will stop asking you questions are you?" she questioned taking her fingers out of his hair.

"Um no, I really can't remember much of what happened, it's all such a blur right now." he replied. "But tell me what else happened." he demanded.

"Well, we danced a lot. You move around great I might add. Um, we played a game of Never Have I Ever. Your girlfriend came into the picture...ya'll fought, and then you fell off the couch and hit your head...I told you that you couldn't go home how you were so you stayed here in my room." she paused.

"Wait A...Ann...Athena? That's who I'm dating right...She came over, why were we fighting." he stuttered.

"You seriously don't remember anything...You have to question your own girlfriends name, wow Alex...I think you need to take a long shower and try to remember everything. Because if you can't remember things that happened before the party then that's pretty bad." she said placing a worried look on her face.

"No, no no...I remember things that happened before the party. But they just aren't coming to me right now. I'll remember them all later." he said only hoping that this would be true. Because if he couldn't remember what had been going on the past few days, things could turn out bad. Real bad.

"Well, I hope you can remember." Lena grinned at him. It was a grin that Alex knew all to well, well once he could remember. "You want to know what I'm thinking about?" she asked playfully as the grin on her face grew more.

"What's that?" he said titling his head towards her. His hair fell past his eyes, and he quickly tossed his head to the right a little so the hairs would go flying back, so not to block his view.

"Well, something else happened last night..." she began to explain. But was immediately interrupted by a cell phone going off. It was Alex's they could both tell by the Blink-182 ringtone. He searched around for it without leaving the bed, but didn't see it in sight. I think it's in your pants...they're over there near the closet..." said Lena pointing to the pair of jeans on the opposite side of the room. Alex quickly removed the covers from himself, and got out of the bed and walked over to his pants placing his hand in the front left pocket to get his cell phone. As he was walking back to the bed while browsing his missed calls he froze in place.

"Why the hell am I only in my boxers?" he asked confused. "And why are all my clothes scattered around your room. Shit I've got to get home! I'm going to be grounded for life!" he exclaimed quickly rummaging the room and dressing himself as quickly as possible. And without a single goodbye he barged out of the room, and out of the house leaving Lena alone in her bed, just as she was about to tell him exactly what it was that happened last night. Did our little Alex make a mistake?

Running out of Lena's house and down the street to his own he quickly thought of an excuse to make for his absence last night, and not returning. His cover up was lame, but it was the best that he had, and he could only hope that it would be bought by his parents. He walked up to the porch and the front door opened up immediately.

"Alexander William Gaskarth!" exploded his mother.

"Where on earth have you been?" shouted his father.

"You had us worried sick, no note telling us where you were, no call, no returning." continued his mother, her voice raging with anger.

"We called Jack's parents, and Rian's...they both returned home last night, and you weren't at either of their houses...care to explain just exactly where you were?" said his father stern hovering over Alex. His excuse was now no longer going to work. Shit...you better think fast, or tell the truth, his brain told himself.

"I was at a friends house down the street I fell asleep there?" he replied questioning the glances he was receiving from his parents who were now shrugging and whispering to each other, wondering if their son was telling the truth.

"Who's house exactly is down the street?" questioned his mother. There was the question...would he get in trouble for saying it was a girls house? He was about to find out.

"Her..." he began. Neither of his parents said anything, or were taken aback just yet. "Her name is Lena...she moved in about a month or so ago...she and I are friends. And I went over there to just hang out, and I ended up falling asleep, honestly." Well it was the truth after all wasn't it...maybe it wasn't the whole truth, but that part didn't need to be mentioned.

"So, let me get this straight you stayed over at a girls house?" said his dad taking a seat over on the couch.

"Why didn't you leave us a note?" said his mother paranoid.

"I didn't think that I would be out all night...I'm sorry." he said meaning it.

"Well what matters is that you are home now. But you're not getting off the hook so easily." said his dad sounding ever so tough. Alex groaned knowing this was coming.

"For the next week, I don't want you to see this girl, I don't want you to leave this house other than to be at school. You come back from school and you do your homework, that's it." explained his father.

"But!" exclaimed Alex. "What about Jack and Rian...we have band practices after school!" he shouted. "Can you not make an exception for that?"

"Maybe...but that's it Alex, no more mistakes, or that's gone for the week as well." sighed his dad getting up and walking into the other room.

"Now we've got to go to work Alex, but we mean it you stay in this house, you worried us sick, we hardly got any sleep." she sobbed walking to Alex and embracing him in a hug. "I'm glad that you are home."

"I'm fine, I'm just going to take a shower." he said pushing out of her hug and storming off upstairs and into his room slamming the door shut.

The clothes fell to the white tiles of the bathroom that Alex had locked himself in, where he started the hot water of the shower. He stepped in quickly where trickles of hot water stabbed all over his body. He stood there bare naked hopelessly waiting for any relocation of a memory to come into his head. He would stay in the shower all day if need-be; it wasn't as if he was allowed to leave the house anyway, right? He grabbed the black bottle of shampoo that was sitting on the ledge of the shower and poured a small amount in his hands. He lathered it all into his hair scrubbing just as hard as he could, only hoping that perhaps the deeper he scrubbed it would ease all the pain away and let the memories of last night break free. He definitely remembered a party, and dancing. He remembered everything before the party now, and all the events of yesterday with Athena and him going on a break. But for the life of him he could not recall anything from the party. What had happened, what was the news Lena was going to tell him before he ran out on her, why had his clothes been strung all about her room. He could only imagine what had happened and why they were that way, he wasn't clueless, he just hoped he was wrong. Real wrong. Ten minutes had past by before he realized he was still scrubbing his head and it was starting to go numb. Next he lathered up soap on a washcloth, and quickly wiped off the evidence from his body to get a fresh start. Clean slate, clean hands, the evidence isn't there, you can't be blamed for the actions if there isn't proof. Eventually he shut the water off and stepped onto the cold tile dripping water on the floor and wrapped himself up in a towel and stared into the eyes staring back at him in the mirror. They were glazed over, fogged, blocking unanswered questions. Who was he becoming, what had he done, he couldn't answer either, he couldn't find himself. He was too lost in being a person that he wasn't. It's funny what a few lies could turn into. It's funny how people think alcohol was the answer to all their problems, and the result in the end leaves you even more screwed over than before. An hour later Alex entered downstairs making sure the coast was clear and no parents were home, they weren't and he made his way outside to take a walk.

In her own world Athena wondered up and down her street, same thoughts on her mind...what was going on with Alex. He wasn't the same as he had been with Jewelz. Maybe there really was something about her that kept him grounded. Why couldn't Athena be the same for him. Why had Lena come move into their town and ruin the one chance she would ever have to show Alex how much he meant to her. Would Jewelz and him have ever split up in the first place if Lena hadn't moved here? Would Athena herself have done the same thing Lena had done to get to Alex and have Jewelz be in the current position that she was having to be in. Would that make her any better than Lena. Did any of it make a difference. One thing was clear, Lena needed to get out of the picture if there was ever going to be a true relationship.

Two people were walking heads down, no path in front of them to guide them on the right path. Two people would collide. One of them would be in tears, one would tell a lie. One would believe it, and the other would have no guilty conscience.

"I'm sorry..." said the male looking downward with depression in his voice and a single tear hanging onto his eyelash.

"It's okay..." said a female taking a glance up. "Alex?" she gasped at the sight of him. He slowly shifted his head up and looked her in the eyes. She had never seen this side of him. "What's wrong?" she asked taking one step back to get a better view of him. He carried himself hunched over.

"Athena...I'm so sorry for the person I've been. I wish I could give you an explanation. I wish I could remember what happened last night. I wish I could make this right." he sobbed not caring that boys weren't suppose to show their emotions this way.

"You don't know what happened last night?" she asked repeating him. He shook his head left to right. She had an idea, it could cost her everything, or it could be crazy enough to work.

"I want to make things right with you again. I wanna be with you, but I don't know how to be." he explained. She had a plan to get him back. After all he had been so wasted he wouldn't know what happened last night. She could lie to him and he would never know it.

"We are okay, we talked last night at that party...I made an appearance. You apologized, and you told me that you would end things with Lena for good. Alex, it's okay now...it's just you and me now no one in between to stop us." she lied, it was all a lie, every word. It was the only way, he didn't remember so what would it hurt to tell a lie that he didn't know was a lie. Alex stood there not speaking not even breathing, and leaned in and embraced Athena in the most passionate kiss, one you see in the movies. He swept her off her feet and spun her around in his arms, and when he placed her back to the ground, he didn't release his lips from hers just yet, not until her back was arched back and then he swung her back up staring into her eyes.

"My heart beats only for you now Athena. I am going to stay true to my words I said to you last night, from here on out. It's just you and me." he smiled. In that moment she realized who Alex was really about, even if it took a lie to get him to open up. She didn't feel bad, and that was selfish, but was it really, when you think about it? This was how it was suppose to be, he wasn't anyone else's to share, it wasn't an open relationship. Things could only get better from here, they just had to.

Hours later, two best friends were sitting together talking over lunch. Things had clearly changed over the course of the year, and secretes had yet to be shared, and today would be the day to learn them all.

"Last night, you took a sip on a couple occasions, indicating you had made-out with someone in the circle and also fallen for a best friend. The only guy in that circle you know is Zack...Jenna?" questioned Samantha.

"It's true, he and I had a thing once. It was right after you moved, it didn't work out, it just wasn't right. We were too good of friends. We had too much history with just being best friends, and we didn't want a relationship to break that bond." she explained taking a bite of her chicken nuggets.

"Do you still feel the same way about him though?" dug Samantha.

"I..." she paused.

"Jenna, you love him don't you?" she asked again in a different way.

"I do, in the brotherly best friend way...I've set those feelings aside." she answered honestly.

"I trust you. What's he like, he's changed." Samantha asked wanting to know everything about him that she missed out on.

"He's still Zack, I think that's all he's ever going to be...Sam, we've all changed, we're all going to continue to change. That's life and we can't stop that from happening. Lets just pray that the changes we encounter are out of our best judgment. We're going to all grow up, and some of us are going to grow apart. Some are going to grow closer. And to the ones that are already close...those are the ones who have to work at it the most, to make sure they continue to stay close. Sam, it's been a long time, and I've missed my best friend." said Jenna with all the right words coming out.

"It's been a long year without you Jenna...let's promise never to stray away from each other. I don't think I could ever handle that. It's one thing to just have been away from you for a year. But if I lost you as a friend, I don't know what would happen." said Samantha leaning in to hug Jenna's shoulder.

"I promise. And while we're being completely open and promising things, lets make a pact to always be honest to ourselves, and each other. If we spot a guy and both like him, let's tell each other. Talk it out, see who's in it for what, you know?" she said.

"That's a great idea, I don't want us to ever have to like the same guy, or feel one of us likes the person who the other likes. Like this whole Zack thing, I'm glad to get that cleared up. How should we seal the deal? A handshake?" she chuckled. Jenna stuck out her hand and Sam placed her hand out, and the two grabbed on to each others hand firmly and shook while laughing the whole time.

"I sure have missed you." sighed Jenna.

"Me too, me too." finished Samantha.

It was around midday now, and Cayden was with her boyfriend Tyler...to anyone who spotted them together, they were perfect for each other. People believed what they wanted about them, because it always appeared they were happy with each other, but that was at school only. Sure anyone could fool a person into thinking that they are really nice, and all. But when you're not in the public eye, all that can change. And change it did when the two weren't in school. Don't get Cayden wrong. She really did like Tyler a lot, he WAS great. However, there was just something about him that she didn't like. Maybe it was how he always pressured her to do things that she wasn't ready for. Or maybe it was how he would get mad when he didn't get his way because she didn't want to do those things. Maybe it was the way he called her hot, and not beautiful. Possibly that she was always the one who had to call him to talk to, unless she wanted to wait until school. But whatever it was Cayden couldn't take it, and so on this day she invited Tyler over to talk.

"Baby you're so hot when your mad." he exclaimed.

"Tyler, please don't talk. I have to talk to you about something important." she said annoyed.

"Okay babe what's on your mind?" he asked.

"I like you I really do." she began.

"Here we go..." he sighed.

"No, just listen it's not like that. You're great...but I can't handle you pressuring me to do things I don't want. I don't like the way we fake this relationship in public. If there's something going on between us, please just tell me now so I can move on. Because I know someone who wouldn't dare do these things to hurt me inside." she managed to explain.

"Darling, there's nothing going on. What are we faking?" he questioned.

"Ourselves, when we're together at school, you know that's not how we are when we're just alone, it's the exact opposite. This, here and now is how we are." she said spreading her arms out.

"What's wrong with people thinking we're happy?" he asked.

"What's wrong with it...besides the fact that we aren't. Besides the fact that people look up to us as the couple everyone's dying to be, and we can't even be that couple...I don't know hmm, why don't you tell me..." she said raising her voice.

"I would just like to point out that you raised your voice first. And secondly why does it matter what people think of us Cay, if they think that's how we are, let them think that...they don't have proof that we aren't that way." he argued.

"Tyler, it's not right for them to think that when we can't even portray it. That's my main issue. I'm not happy with the way it makes me feel. There's a boy who would gladly give me the time of day, and it's been far too long since we've mended things and had a civil conversation, and quite frankly, I miss him. And he may no longer feel the way he used to about me, and I don't want to loose that opportunity if I'm just wasting my time with you. I don't want to be left with wondering 'what if' about him if I don't get the chance to speak with him again." she opened up.

"Cay what are you suggesting?" he asked confused.

"Let me know where we stand...I'm not ready to give up on you yet, but if you are...then tell me so I'm not waiting around." she sobbed with a tear in her eye.

"I'm not done with you yet...I can't give you up...lets try to really be those two that people expect us to be, I'm ready for a challenge." he said taking her by the hand.

"You mean it?" she said glancing up at him. He smiled at her and nodded.

"Then I think things might be okay here." she giggled.
The day went on, and the couple had fallen into a nap on the couch after their much needed conversation, eventually they both awoke feeling more refreshed.

"Can I ask you something?" hesitated Tyler.

"Okay..." she she said nervously.

"Who was this other guy?" he asked.

"Just a friend...that I gave up on..." she sighed. "But I'm with you now and that's what matters." she faked a smile and gave him a small peck on the lips, then rested her head on his shoulder. Maybe she wasn't over Jack...maybe she never would be, she only hoped that they could work things out. She missed those many days they would hang out, that seems like so few now after what they'd been through. It was a burden that she had been carrying with her far to long...and was it bad that she slightly wished it would have ended today with Tyler, just to see if Jack cared for her as much as she still cared for him, even though she failed to show him that she still cared? She wished she could just forget every moment the two of them had shared, they haunted her, and it had taken her until just now to realize that she caught her own bluff, she knew she liked him at the time before her and Tyler dated...but it didn't hit her until just now HOW much she cared for him. Not until just then when she admitted it to herself. She promised herself at that moment that she would put it behind her, and just try to regain her friendship with Jack first. That was, if Tyler could accept that he wasn't the only guy she would be hanging out with. Maybe, oh just maybe things could go back to how they were a month ago.

It was safe to say that Jack in no way shape or form was over Cayden...but he was slowly relying on the idea that the two were falling head over heels for each other, the way they showed themselves off at school. He relied on the idea that they would last a long time, and it would be too late for him to have a chance. He blew that opportunity away last month only by minutes. He just hadn't been quick enough.

"Jack, I know you're thinking about her." said Amanda as the two were sitting outside of her house. He'd stopped by to drop something off for her mother that his mom had wanted to give to her. His mom had offered to drive him, but he rejected and said the fresh air would be good for him.

"How do you know that?" he asked.

"I'm a girl, I just know these things." she laughed.

"I hate that." he joined in laughing, but really couldn't stand that everyone could always figure out what he was thinking. It was like he was transparent, and all his thoughts and emotions could be seen. And his pains everyone could feel the weight of them just as heavy as he did. Only no one would ever know how he really felt inside.

"You need to talk to her." she blurted out.

"Right, she's off being happy with her boyfriend. And you should take your own advice, why don't you talk to Rian?" he said turning the questions on to her.

"That's different." she said hiding her face behind her hair, she was actually wearing it down, which was a rare occasion.

"It's no different, and you know it. The day you talk to Rian about what you're feeling for him is the day I will patch things up with Cayden." he exclaimed standing up and walking down the street.

"Jack you're upset and you've clearly been hurt, and you have the right to feel this way. But don't take this out on me. Talk to her, you'll only regret it." she called out after him standing up to chase him.

"You just work on yourself, and let me know when you've decided to take your own advice, I can't take yours if you can't take it yourself." he said turning the corner. Amanda walked back to where she was sitting and took her seat. She knew he was right...but she had a funny way with emotions, she couldn't share them with a guy that she liked. She just couldn't, could she? Maybe if she let in, she could prove to Jack she could take her own advice, and it would then allow him to open back up to Cayden and be happy once more. Because it pained their whole group of friends to see him so down. It was just something she was going to have to take into consideration.

That night Alex began to make his way home, after spending the day with Athena. On the way back Lena was standing out in her driveway, she ran to the end of it and waited for Alex to pass.

"You feeling better?" she asked. He nodded but didn't stop to talk.

"Alex?" she called. He turned around only for a minute to clear up where they stood.

"I remember last night...Athena and I are back together...I can't go on with how we've been acting, and sneaking around. Lena it's over for good." he spoke firmly.

"Okay..." she paused.

"It shouldn't be a problem since all this was about was fun...we were never in it for the commitment. So we're all good?" he asked.

"I...guess, but Alex I have to tell you something." she gasped as he was turning around.

"I can't Lena, I'm grounded I'm not suppose to be out. I have to get home before my parents or else." he said without turning around to look at her. Once again Lena was left alone with the nagging desperation to tell him what she had been dying to all day long.

"We...I, you...ALEX! Please listen!" she shouted after him. He ignored her, feeling proud of himself for standing up against her once and for all. He was through not knowing who he was. He was ready to be the guy he once was, and he wasn't going to let anything get in between him.

Somehow it's never enough to be satisfied with yourself even when you have every right to. But it's always enough having the constant reminder of things you've done in your past...or things you are just now remembering...his memory was coming back from last night in the room alone with Lena. That was the only thing that was coming back, it was the one thing he wanted to know most, the rest didn't matter anymore. After the whole day, it was coming to him just as he was laying down to go to sleep. Maybe he knew the whole time, and had to get all this cleared up first. But how would he explain it to Athena, he couldn't do that to her after the talk they had today, but he couldn't keep this from her either. Why did things have to get better only just to get worse again. Why is it you have to get weak just to get strong again...or in his case the opposite. When was it all going to end?