Buried Myself Alive

It was around 2:30 as looked around the unfamiliar buildings surrounding me. Mikey told me Gerard could be anyplace. He also said when he ran away the places he went depended on his mood. Like after he was kicked out of his parent’s house he felt like shit so he hid behind a dumpster. I was also told about another time Gerard was suicidal and was found passed out on the bridge by Brookside Park. I'd rather not think about that, but I guess I had no choice.

Now, I had to think. Even though I had been socially cut off from people for so long I was good at reading them. It was a strange ability for someone like me. Either way, I had to put myself in Gerard’s place. I had to try to think like a man I barely knew but wanted to know. I had to be heartbroken.

I opened my eyes without realizing I ever closed them. Heartbroken. Now when you’re heartbroken you tend to go to a place where it can be rubbed in your face. Don’t ask me why, people just did that.

Where do couple go that makes it seem they had a movie perfect relationship. Movie. Think movies.
Grass. Trees. Flowers. A bench. Blossoms. Boy. Girl.
A park.

There weren’t any parks around here. There couldn’t be with the city set up. Could there? I let myself wander, not caring if I got lost. It would probably be best if I got lost because how else do you find something that’s lost without being lost yourself. Yes, I do have twisted logic.

The large four story apartment buildings started to disappear along with the little stores with apartments on top. Grass was starting to try to make acquaintances with me as houses crept their way into the scenery.

It seemed so normal for there to be houses here, but I’ve never seen them before. They were all painted in shades of tans, whites, beiges, creams, greens, and blues. Though, one house did catch my eye.

The house had dark green paint on it’s sides but then the green just stopped. Stripes of pink and electric blue covered the front. The front door was covered with neon yellow paint, and the garage door was outlined in black with squares of hot pink and lime green.

It was surely the strangest house I have ever seen. I kind of liked it though. Random and original.

I continued down the narrow street. Some of the houses had trees either in the center of their lawns or by the sidewalk. The fact of them having grass lawns was enough to make my head spin. That’s when I found myself eyeing another house.

It wasn’t the house so much that caught my eye. There were two children in the front yard of a white house with sky blue shutters. Two boys, they were probably around the age of seven. They sat on the front steps of the house. The one on the right had what seemed to be dark brown eyes, brown hair, khaki shorts, and a black shirt, it had the Batman logo on it. The one on the right had dirty blonde hair, lighter brown eyes, jeans that were covered with grass stains, and a blue shirt. The Superman logo appeared on it.

They each held the small action figures in their hand, both matching their shirts. I realized my walk had slowed and my mission to search for Gerard was lost in my mind. I watched as the boys switched toys and their faces brightened.

The one wearing the batman shirt jumped up off the steps as he held up his new Superman toy. He darted around his front yard still holding the little toy. Then my eyes followed to the other boy. Still on the steps, he held up the batman toy. He began talking to the figure, smiling and laughing.

“Lucky.” I mumbled under my breath as I let my hair fall in my eyes. I stared at my shoes and the paved road. They didn’t realize how lucky they were with their lives. They could be kids. They didn’t have to grow up. Not yet, anyway.

I continued to walk mindlessly, following streets I didn’t know existed. Then I heard water. A pond? Pond equals park! I didn’t notice I was running until I had to stop or else I would have been hit by a car.

I watched the car drive down the street and turn onto another street. I then saw the leaves covering the ground, almost like a final warm blanket before the cold, white snow fell. That wouldn’t be for another month. Nonetheless, there were leaves. Lots of them, and that meant trees. So I followed the path of leaves. I followed them and the sound.

Then I found myself faced with the park, a park and a pond. It had lily pads covering 75% of the surface and a man made fountain in the center. The mist of the pond water struck my face with a light shower and the small breeze decided to slap me.

Gerard.

I ran away from the fountain. I ran along its edge and past it. I needed something the stuck out. It had to scream beauty. I looked around at the dying park; beauty was going to be hard to find.

Or maybe it wasn’t. My feet stopped moving as I saw a figure leaning against a tree. I heard the untouched dew from this morning squeak under my Chucks as I took a few more steps closer. I don’t know what was prettier, the oddly familiar tree with its strange blossoms on it (How could I not see that?), or as I got closer, the man sleeping underneath.

I managed to crouch down next to him. He just looked… gorgeous. His hair was so dark compared to his skin, it fell in front of his eyes I hadn’t seen him that well last night, but now with the sunlight on him he looked.. Amazing.

Fuck. I’m so weird. I’m just staring at him. What if he were to like wake up right now and catch me watching him sleep? Awkward moment.

I could still see the dried tear stains on his cheeks. I wanted to touch him. I just wanted to place my hand on his cheek, but again that would be a little weird if he woke up. I looked down and saw the red on his wrist.

No.

No!

He couldn’t have… No. No, he didn’t. I felt my panic rising inside me. No. No. No. I reached down and grabbed his hand. It was so cold compared to my hand. I gripped it with my left hand as I wiped away the blood looking for the cut. Then I realized there was no cut and it wasn’t blood. Well, it wasn’t human blood. It was almost like flower blood.

I pulled away the crumbled pieces of petals from his palm. How was I supposed to wake him up? At that thought his eyes fluttered open. They stared wide eyed at me. He looked shocked and amazed, as he stared up at me.

That was before the light in his eyes changed to darkness. They glared at me, crushing the feeling inside me, and his voice crushing my heart.

“What are you doing here?”