Buried Myself Alive
Contagious
*Gerard’s POV*
What the hell just happened? I kept on replaying the whole morning over and over in my head, trying to piece together the last part as we walked back to Jepha’s place in complete silence.
The mental tug-of-war was splitting me in two. The part that believed everything was real and meant, and the other ignoring it, hating it, wishing it didn’t happen even though both sides wanted it.
Why did he start the intention of kissing me then stop? Did he doubt me that much? Could he really just walk away from that and pretend it didn’t happen? Could he leave me like this? With a beaten heart, beating to taunt me?
We were the only people outside. The only sound was our feet hitting against the ground. His steps were loud and not cared about.
How could he do that? Why would he do that? Mikey couldn’t have been telling the truth, could he? Frank’s gay? No, he’s just confused. But he kissed me? Accident. I agreed with myself, that’s all it was.
I growled at myself for showing my own true feelings for him again. I let myself show. I’m so weak. He knows so much shit about me. I know nothing about him. I know Mikey knows. I bet Quinn knows. Hell, I bet even Jepha knows.
What does Frank have to hide? Why can’t he trust me? Why can’t he just let me in? My mind was begging to know more about him. He wouldn’t let me. He probably never would at this rate.
“Why don’t you trust me?” It slipped through my lips before I could stop it. I bit my lip down. He stopped walking completely. I turned around to see his wide eyes staring at me in disbelief.
“You think… I don’t trust you?” His arms were limp at his side, his face pained and confused. I continued to bite my lip. I stared at the ground.
My eyes wandered to the small pond to my left. Their lawn was raised off the ground about two feet, bricks lining its sides. Then I glanced back at him. His eyes were closed and he was whispering to himself. He opened them and looked at me, the pain still there.
He walked toward me and I backed up with my knees against those bricks. Soon his body was pressed against mine, his eyes were now looking down at the ground and mine followed. His voice alerting my ears. “It’s not you I don’t trust, It’s me..”
He look up at me and I stared at his golden eyes. I put my hand on his cheek and grazed my thumb over his scar. He closed his eyes. “It’s me..”
His whispers echoed in my ears. I had no clue what time it is, I could tell it was late because the sky was darkening. How could so much change in a day. Yesterday, I could of sworn he hated me. Today, I had him. Simple as that. He was mine, but if only he’d let me be his.
I stared down at him. I smiled and leaned down connecting my lips to his for a second time. Oh, those butterflies feel so amazing. He feels so amazing. I parted my lips a bit and moved them, he followed my lead. I haven’t felt this good since.. I’d rather not think of him right now. This is my moment. This is our moment.
I didn’t realize I had let my tongue touch his lips until I felt the warmth touch my tongue back. Wrapping me in a world I had forgotten about. He slowly pulled away. He placed his head on my shoulder and snuggled into my neck.
“Thank you…” His small voice whispered to me. The whole moment was set up so strangely. I mean, it was normal. It couldn’t be my life. No, this wasn’t my life. I was just lucky enough to get a chance to live someone else’s for a little while.
I felt his head lift up and he repeated his words into my neck. “Thank you, Gerard.”
I think.. That just maybe.. This could be my life.
What the hell just happened? I kept on replaying the whole morning over and over in my head, trying to piece together the last part as we walked back to Jepha’s place in complete silence.
The mental tug-of-war was splitting me in two. The part that believed everything was real and meant, and the other ignoring it, hating it, wishing it didn’t happen even though both sides wanted it.
Why did he start the intention of kissing me then stop? Did he doubt me that much? Could he really just walk away from that and pretend it didn’t happen? Could he leave me like this? With a beaten heart, beating to taunt me?
We were the only people outside. The only sound was our feet hitting against the ground. His steps were loud and not cared about.
How could he do that? Why would he do that? Mikey couldn’t have been telling the truth, could he? Frank’s gay? No, he’s just confused. But he kissed me? Accident. I agreed with myself, that’s all it was.
I growled at myself for showing my own true feelings for him again. I let myself show. I’m so weak. He knows so much shit about me. I know nothing about him. I know Mikey knows. I bet Quinn knows. Hell, I bet even Jepha knows.
What does Frank have to hide? Why can’t he trust me? Why can’t he just let me in? My mind was begging to know more about him. He wouldn’t let me. He probably never would at this rate.
“Why don’t you trust me?” It slipped through my lips before I could stop it. I bit my lip down. He stopped walking completely. I turned around to see his wide eyes staring at me in disbelief.
“You think… I don’t trust you?” His arms were limp at his side, his face pained and confused. I continued to bite my lip. I stared at the ground.
My eyes wandered to the small pond to my left. Their lawn was raised off the ground about two feet, bricks lining its sides. Then I glanced back at him. His eyes were closed and he was whispering to himself. He opened them and looked at me, the pain still there.
He walked toward me and I backed up with my knees against those bricks. Soon his body was pressed against mine, his eyes were now looking down at the ground and mine followed. His voice alerting my ears. “It’s not you I don’t trust, It’s me..”
He look up at me and I stared at his golden eyes. I put my hand on his cheek and grazed my thumb over his scar. He closed his eyes. “It’s me..”
His whispers echoed in my ears. I had no clue what time it is, I could tell it was late because the sky was darkening. How could so much change in a day. Yesterday, I could of sworn he hated me. Today, I had him. Simple as that. He was mine, but if only he’d let me be his.
I stared down at him. I smiled and leaned down connecting my lips to his for a second time. Oh, those butterflies feel so amazing. He feels so amazing. I parted my lips a bit and moved them, he followed my lead. I haven’t felt this good since.. I’d rather not think of him right now. This is my moment. This is our moment.
I didn’t realize I had let my tongue touch his lips until I felt the warmth touch my tongue back. Wrapping me in a world I had forgotten about. He slowly pulled away. He placed his head on my shoulder and snuggled into my neck.
“Thank you…” His small voice whispered to me. The whole moment was set up so strangely. I mean, it was normal. It couldn’t be my life. No, this wasn’t my life. I was just lucky enough to get a chance to live someone else’s for a little while.
I felt his head lift up and he repeated his words into my neck. “Thank you, Gerard.”
I think.. That just maybe.. This could be my life.
♠ ♠ ♠
Ahh love is like a lemon, sweet and sour and makes you want to dance ;] hope you people liked this chapp lol I love this little box down here! It's so awesome it's like my box xDI remember the old days before this box, back when you had to actually write A/N: pssh
--What I have just realized is that by making them both 17 at the start of the story, Frank is older then Gerard -__- not exactly how I wanted it but... so here's my question.. should I go back and change the age or do you guys not care that much? comments with responses would be super helpful ^_^
XXO x]