Buried Myself Alive

*Gerard’s POV*

“Hey Ray, tell me something’ ?” I was sliding the bottle of beer from hand to hand on the table.

“Mmhmm?” He lifted his head in my direction to see my face. He had been staring at the foam is his glass. He always took advantage of the tap.

“How the fuck do you get any girl’s with that hair man? No offense or anything I was just wondering, you know? Because man that thing is really just like crazy- Ray?”

I had lost him to the glass of foam in front of him.

God he’s such a good smart guy when he doesn’t drink. Now look at him. Stoned dead. Remind me never to drink more then three bottles of beer.

“The silent genius Ray Toro sits staring at the foam of his beer contempt plating whether it was Whip Cream or my delicious cum settling at the top of his beer.” I turned to see my brother smirking at us.

“Mikes!”, I jumped out of my seat to give my lil’ brother a hug and laughed,”That’s the best shit I’ve heard out of your mouth in you’re whole freakin’ life!”

Ray looked at Mikey and waved his hand.

“Ay es muy bueno a ver te asshole.” Ray was smiling like an idiot now. Oh well at least he said something in English. Mikey’s eye’s turned to slits for a second, then they went back to his normal shape.

“We all know you suck at Spanish, Ray, but you could have at least tried to choose a different word than ‘asshole’. I mean dude we’ve been saying that since we were eleven!!!”

“Nine for you, Mikes.” I corrected him as I sat back down in the long narrow booth, and that’s when I noticed a guy behind him. Shorter but slightly older face. About a year older , maybe more. He had gorgeous eyes, but hidden behind dark circles that screamed he had sleeping problems. His black hair was dangling over his right eye, covering half of it. He was staring at the floor.

“Hey who’s that? Don’t tell me it’s another hooker, Mikey.” I was only joking but the guy’s head shot up immediately. His eye’s got hard right away. Uh oh I know what’s coming now.

“I’m not gay.”

“I never said you were, man. I was just teasing my bro.” I hate when people take me so serious. Life isn’t like that, they need to learn to live a little.

Mikey had been getting cozy in a seat next to Ray. He hadn’t even noticed my comment.

“Dude, take a seat! The ass right here with the mouth and hair is Ray. His prize possession is that Fro.” Mikey poked Ray’s hair. The guy nodded toward Ray. Next Mikey pointed at me.

“That big mutt is my older brother Gerard. He’s the one I was telling you about.” Mikey smiled lightly and that was only to disappear once Ray opened his mouth.

“Oh so you don’t tell him anything about me. Pssh. I see how it is.” He shoved Mikes playfully. Those two are always flirting. Jokingly, of course…. I think?

“Stop being such a fucking diva! Oh and this is Frank! Ray, Gee, meet Frank.”

Frank was settling in next to me, he seemed very uncomfortable and awkward. Ray and Mikey continued play fighting. God they are so fucking immature.

“So umm Frank, Have you ever had beer before?” I wasn’t sure if he had because he had this tough look to him. So he might have. But he also had this hurt childish look scrambled throughout his features.

“Beer? Uh no not really..” He seemed so nervous. Like he didn’t know how to talk, even though it seemed he had a decent conversation with Mikes.

“Well do you want some? Afro head has this friend of his-”

“JEPHA!!!!!” Ray shouted across the room. No one really noticed because of the music coming from the stereo behind the bar. It still scared the shit out of me.

“God fucking DAMN it Ray! Can’t you keep your kool about anything??” He looked at me like I spoke a different language. I sighed.

Jepha was walking toward our table followed by three other guys. Shit can they all fit?

Ray got up and gave Jepha a big bear hug and Jepha laughed. They seemed like old friends and started talking. He was introducing Ray to the three guys behind him but I couldn’t help but to at Frank again. I don’t know what made me feel so sorry for him. I just did. He was staring at his feet under the table and tugging on his hoodie sleeve a lot.

“ Hey dude, you okay?” I tried to sound chill but I think you could still pick up I was a little worried. Damn our family and their need to care. Yeah it’s a trait passed down in the Way family. That’s why everyone thinks we’re gay and shit. Not that that’s wrong about Mikey but he’s always like both ends of the pool. I don’t know how Alicia deals with him

Anyway I can see why Mikes picked Frank up. He’s just so sad.

“Oh um yeah I’m okay. I just, I’m not used to people that much.” He looked up at me.

“What do you mean? You don’t have any friends or family? You don’t go out? Don’t you have a girlfriend?”

Oh my god. He’s fucking blushing! The only guy I’ve ever see blush was …. Me! Haha so cute. Wait. Fuck. Bad gay side! Bad!

“Me? Have a girlfriend?” He laughed- wait no , giggled. Guys can giggle? I mean I didn’t even think like fags could do that.

“I take that as a no,” I laughed a little too. “So umm after those guys settle in you want a beer? I could get one for you ya know. They don’t really care in here about IDs as long as you have something to give them to prove you’re 21. They just care that you pay for the drink.” I was rambling. I knew it. He knew it. We knew it. Oh well I was at least trying to be nice to the guy.

“Um no. It’s okay. I don’t need a drink. I don’t like beer that much.” He voice was just so, I couldn’t place it. Weird.

“Well, Have you ever tried it??” He shook his head and returned to looking at his feet.

I sighed and then Ray, Jepha, and his buddies started to sit down. The order on my side of the table was me, Frank, this guy with dark black hair and the weirdest eyebrows in the world but still not bad looking, and this dude with like bleach blonde hair. The opposite side sat Mikey, Ray, Jepha, and this guy who had a habit of drumming on the table.

It was pretty cramp now because everyone was trying to squeeze together to fit everyone in. I was sitting on the edge of the booth. Frank was sitting pretty close. He must not be into new people. Even though technically I’m new too, just not as new. His foot touched mine and he jerked back and pulled on his hoodie sleeve.

I brought my hand toward my mouth to make it look like I was just wiping my lips but I was trying to hide an obvious smile. I loved it when people got the impression I was as gay as my brother *which I’m not*. Then I put my hand down and my lips fell back to their normal light curve. I stare at myself in the mirror so I know these things.

“Okay so Mikey, Gerard, Frank,” Ray pointed at each of us as he said our name. I raised my hand slightly as a wave.

“Meet Dan, Quinn, Bert, and Jepha.” I looked at where he pointed as he said their name. Dan was the dude who had been drumming on the table, he smiled as his name was said. Quinn was the bleach blonde guy, he just looked up as his name was called. Bert was the guy with the eyebrows, he did the same thing I did with the half wave. Jepha was last, he had a bunch of tattoos on him. I don’t think I’ve ever met a guy with as many as him. Jepha looked up at Ray a little curiosity in his eyes.

“Ray, I remember you mentioning Gerard and Mikey but never a Frank,” Jepha glanced at Frank casually, “I hope you don’t mind me asking but um-”

“Oh? Frank well Mikey brought him along for tonight. He’ll just tag along with us. There is no problem with an extra man is there Jeph?” Ray wasn’t sure was Jepha was hinting at. Jepha nodded and smiled friendly, I guess for Frank’s benefit.

“No, of course not! Just one of you will have to reuse an ID because I didn’t bring any extra cards..” Frank glanced up at Jepha‘s words.

“It’s Okay .. Jepha, I don’t need an ID. I don’t drink.” Everyone who was at our table looked at him funny except for me. I already knew, but I understood some people just don’t like to try-

“Oh common Frank! You gotta at least try sometime!” Mikey pushed his glass into Frank’s hands. Frank pushed it back lightly, I guess so Mikey wouldn’t be offended.

“No honestly.. I just- I don’t drink.” I looked at him. He was pulled on his hoodie sleeve even more now. I looked up to see the guy, Quinn, noticing the same thing.

“Guys, just let him be. If he don’t want a drink, he doesn’t want one.” Quinn’s voice was honestly amazing. It was soft yet firm as in, listen to me because I’m right and you all know it, but not in a snobby way.

Mikey took his glass back and took another gulp. He looked down, then back up at Frank.

“Sorry man..” I kinda felt bad for Mikey even though he deserved to be set on his feet. He’s gunna be bitching about it all night to me. I wish he’d get a fucking diary like a normal girl but no, that’s why he has me.

“Hey man, don’t feel bad. I’ll just have something else ya know?” Frank lifted his hand and brushed his hair out of the way out of his right eye. I noticed a scar on the bridge of his right cheek bone. I would have to ask him about it one day, if I could get him to trust me enough. What would he have to trust me for? He could have just fallen off his bike when he was a kid. Who knows?

“Hey is it okay if I go ahead and grab my self a glass, I’m really dying here.” The guy named Bert said as he nudged Quinn to get up. Quinn slid out and let Bert get up. After Quinn sat down he looked at Jepha then at us.

“We should really be careful with Bert. He gets a little crazy when he drinks too much.” He said the quietly to make sure Bert couldn’t hear. Even though I don’t think even a dog could hear him with the fucking music on. I mean what the fuck? Who plays Madonna after The Doors? Eh, I’m not complaining though.

I felt a jerk next to me. Frank was picking at his nails. Why was he so nervous?

“Wh- What do you mean by ‘crazy’?” He stuttered. He lifted his head to glance at Bert, then to Quinn.

“Oh he’s not violent or anything don’t worry. He just does stupid things. Like the time he gave my sister a lap dance.” Quinn laughed and Jepha joined in. I guess you had to be there.

Bert sat back down on the opposite of Quinn. So now it was: Me, Frank, Quinn, Bert. I watched in just plain disbelief as Bert gulped down the entire thing in one shot. I think my mouth was hanging open a little.

“Bert, you know you might want to slow down a little.. You remember last time.” Jepha looked at Quinn. Bert just laughed.

“You guys worry too much! Jeez. I just slipped a little!” He got up to refill his glass again.

“He’s never gunna learn is he?” Quinn said as he bit his nails. Dan shook his head.

“Remember who we’re talking about, Quinn.”

Mikey had been bored with the conversation and pulled on Ray’s hair. Ray jumped and turned to glare at Mikey.

“DUDE! What the FUCK?!” Rays rubbed his head.

“Aw poor little Ray-Ray! Does he need a kissy to make it betta?” Mikey sang in a baby voice as he puckered his lips and leaned toward Ray. Ray pushed him into Jepha and Jepha pushed him into Ray. Mikey was just being thrown like a rag doll in the seat. Quinn got up to go check on Bert, and Frank was still looking at his feet. What the fuck could be so interesting with his chucks?

I tapped Frank’s shoulder as giggles from Mikey got louder. Frank looked up at me again. God why did his eye look so hurt?

“Yeah? What is it?” He wasn’t sure why I had poked him. I started tossing my beer bottle, which was close to empty, back and forth between my hands again.

“I umm.. You know they sell other things besides beer here. I’ve seen some guys bring their kids here, don’t ask me why, but I’m pretty sure they had soda or something. If you want of course.” God I feel like a dork. I keep rambling and shit. I only do that when I’m nervous. Am I nervous? Well duh I’m rambling. Wait. What the hell? I’m rambling in my thoughts. NOT GOOD!

“Yeah, that works I guess.” He started to slid out of the booth. I suddenly had to go to the bathroom. Fuck human bladders.

“Wait, don’t bother. I’m just going to head to the can then I’ll grab you something. What kind of soda you drink?”

“Umm Coke? It doesn’t really matter.” I stood up and made my way to the bathroom still hearing Mikey’s damn giggles, joined with Ray’s and Jepha’s. I made my way to the back of The Green Eagle and lifted my left hand up when I saw the Men’s Restroom sign. There were two guys at the urinals, but I found them just plain weird. I mean whatever happened to privacy?

I opened the door of a vacant cubicle and locked it. I turned around and did my business. As I was pulling my zipper up I brought my leg up to kick the - well I honestly have no clue what that fucking thing is called, you know the thing you press to make the toilet flush? Yeah well I don’t know what it is.

I unlocked the door and went to the sink to wash my hands. I didn’t bother with drying them, I just wiped them on my jeans. I walked out of the restroom and up to the bar. The bar tender happened to be right there so I told him the two drinks I wanted.

“One bottle of Bud and a Coke?” He nodded to me to let me know he was on it. I tapped the wooden bar as I was waiting. That’s when I heard the two arguing.

“Whatcha-mean-I’ve-had-too-much-I’m-not-even-done-with-this-one-yet-Quinney!” The guy was slurring. Totally wasted. Wait, shit. Don’t tell me that’s Bert.

“Dude do you even know what number that one IS?” I looked to where the voices were coming from to see that Quinn was obviously pissed at Bert. Bert started laughing.

“Six?” He said it with a really high voice. God if he’s right he can sure down them pretty fast. Quinn shook his head.

“Seven.” I felt my own jaw drop. I mean, damn! The bartender brought over the two drinks. I slipped a couple dollars into the tip jar. I forget how many drunks they have to deal with. I noticed Bert walking toward me.

“Aw sweetheart you didn’t need to get me a beer!” Bert seemed very giddy and he was leaning toward me now. I glanced to see Frank watching Bert get closer to me. I looked now at Bert, his eyes were so clouded with alcohol. Quinn was watching his eyes wide at the way Bert was acting.

“I got a thank you for you baby..” He leaned closer. I took a panicked glance toward the table. Mikey, Ray, Dan and Jepha looked like they were about to piss their pants they were laughing so much. I glanced at Frank and his mouth was hanging open. Mine clamped shut, and thank god because at that second I felt Bert’s wet, sloppy lips pressing hard onto mine.

I could feel my eyes widen at the state of shock I was in. I was staring at nothing for about 10 seconds, ten seconds that felt like forever and not in a good way. That’s when my mind came back and I looked over at Frank again. His features, his eyes, his pink soft lips..

I closed my eyes and something took over me. It kissed Bert back, it slid my tongue into his mouth. It made me not notice the taste of beer in his mouth. After another 20 seconds he pulled back, panting.

Holy.

Fucking.

Shit.

What did I just do?