Even Forever Doesn't Seem Like Long Enough

"Hey, I'm outside," I spoke into the phone, the low humming of the engine the only other noise as I sat in my car.

"Okay, I'll be out now," Brendon replied before I heard the dial tone. I stared at the door in wait for the wonderful boy to step out of his front door.

Soon enough, he had locked his door and had climbed into the passenger seat. He leaned over and tantalisingly caught my lips in his, making me hum delightfully, before pulling away from the sidewalk.

"How're you this morning, sweetheart?" He grinned at me.

"I'm great thanks, how about you?"

"Better now that I'm here, I missed you,"

I glanced over to him with adoring eyes before turning back to the road, "I missed you too," I cooed at him, feeling his hand rest on mine on the gear stick.

"And, because I missed you so much, I think you should tell me where you're taking me,"

"Um... Nope, I have a feeling you'll jump out of the car if I tell where we're going," I replied.

"Great," His words were sarcasm-saturated, "That reassures me completely,"

Laughing slightly, I turned a corner, "It's going to be fun, Brendon, trust me. It'll be the best, most exciting experience of your life so far. Is that better reassurance?"

He sighed, lifting his shoulders in a shrug, "I guess it'll have to do,"

I pulled over by Hannah's house, beeping the horn loudly causing Brendon to wince.

"Was it really necessary to beep that loud?" He frowned.

"Yes," I grinned, "Hannah's deaf,"

"Right," He said sceptically.

Hannah soon came bounding out of the house towards the car. She seemed like she was so excited she was going to jump through the back window rather than open the door.

"Hi!" She bounced in her seat as she greeted us.

"Hey," Brendon and I chorused as we looked at her with identical 'my-God-you're-crazy-excited' looks- if there is actually such a thing.

"Where's Ruby?" Hannah asked as I began driving again.

"She stayed over at dad's last night- She spoke to mum for a bit and ended up bawling her eyes out so she went to dad's,"

"Christ, what were they talking about?" Hannah's expression had now fallen into a worried frown.

"I don't know," I shrugged.

"Is she okay?" Brendon interjected.

"Yeah, I'm sure she's fine, she's just a bit overwhelmed with everything that's been going on lately. She couldn't stay in the same house as me,"

"Have you guys been arguing or something?" He frowned in concern and I cast a glance in the mirror to see Hannah looking at me with confusion.

I cast my gaze down and then she knew.

"Um... Yeah, kind of, but she left for the night because she was scared she was going to say something she'd regret- it's just what she does," I answered, "I'm sure she's over it now though," I added as I pulled up to my dad's house and beeped the horn.

I knew Hannah was staring at me. I could feel it.

Ruby soon came out of the house and got in the car, letting relief flow through me when Hannah broke her stare to greet Ruby.

"Hey Rubes," I smiled at her before driving away.

"Hey," She grinned back, "Everyone okay?"

We all answered her with versions of 'yes' and when I glanced in the mirror I saw Hannah whispering in Ruby's ear. Once Hannah had finished talking, Ruby's facial expression was shocked and she shot me a disapproving look.

My eyes fell back to the road, "Why don't we listen to some music," I flipped on the radio, "You can pick something Brendon, you're the guest," I offered, "CD's are in the glove box," I added.

He didn't argue and he reached forward to flick through the CD's.

"How long's it going to take to get there, Amber?" Hannah asked.

"About ten minutes," I replied, not daring to make eye-contact with her.

"So, do you guys know where we're going?" Brendon turned his head to look in the back seat once he'd put on a Fall Out Boy CD.

"Yeah," Ruby replied.

"It's just me that doesn't know then," He sighed despondently. The conversation continued but I began to tune it out as I began to get lost in my thoughts (don't worry; I was still concentrating on driving).

My thoughts were pretty much centred on the whole 'oh my God, I haven't told Brendon the truth yet' thing. The one thing that was different from when I planned on telling everyone else was that I wasn't afraid of him getting upset- I was afraid of losing him. I felt like I had such a connection with him and that really didn't happen to me often so I didn't want to lose it. I didn't want to lose him.

But I knew even though I really didn't want to, I had to tell him sometime.

"We're here," I announced as I parked and shut off the engine.

Brendon undid his seatbelt and caught my eyes before sending me one of his beaming smiles. I grinned back, feeling a shiver run through me. We all got out of the car and Brendon grabbed my hand, sending electricity through my fingers.

"So, where are we?" He questioned, eyeing the surroundings as if to find some sort of clue.

"You don't give up do you?" I chuckled.

"No, but I figured because we're already here you'd let me in on the secret,"

"We're about to go in now so I'm sure a few more minutes won't hurt,"

"Can you at least reassure me that I'm not going to die?"

"Everyone dies, but I can tell you that as long as you do it all properly, you shouldn't die,"

He rolled his eyes, "Great, that makes me feel so much better,"

I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek, "I wouldn't let you get hurt Brendon, you should know that,"

He unlocked our hands and wrapped his arm around my shoulder instead, triggering me to slide my arm around his waist, "I know that now," He whispered.

"And you really don't have to do this if you don't want to," I added.

"Well I'd tell you whether I do or not but I don't actually know what we're about to do,"

"You should tell him Ambs," Ruby jumped in.

"Yeah, we're here now anyway," Hannah shrugged.

I glanced up at Brendon, "Do you want to know?"

He nodded, "Yeah,"

"We're going skydiving," I revealed.

"Shut up," He stated with an unreadable expression.

"Like I said, you don't have to do it if you don't want to," I repeated, "But because none of us have done this before, we don't know how long you'll have to wait while we're up there so-"

"I'll do it," He interrupted.

My head shot up to look at him, "Really?"

He nodded slowly as if contemplating it in his mind, "I'm trying to adjust to this whole spontaneous thing so I suppose this is the first step so yeah I'll do it,"

I squealed excitedly, "Ah! You won't regret it!" I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tight. His arms grabbed me tight around the waist and lifted me up slightly.

"I hope not,"

We wandered into the garage type building and the pilot, who was taking us up, gave us our suits.

We put them on and Ruby wandered over to Brendon, starting up conversation with him. Hannah took this opportunity to grab me by the wrist and jerk me out of Brendon's hearing distance so fast I almost got whiplash.

"You haven't told him yet?!" She hissed at me.

My eyes fell to the floor guiltily, "Well... Not exactly..."

"What do you mean 'not exactly'? Either you've told him or you haven't,"

"Yeah... Well, then I haven't, no," My eyes were still glued shamefully to the floor.

"Why?" She growled.

"I haven't had the chance," What a pitiful excuse.

"You haven't had the chance?! Are you shitting me, Amber?! You have to make the chance when there's a situation like this- It's not casually going to come up in conversation! It's not as if he's going to randomly say 'so Amber, do you have any fatal diseases?' is it?!" She scorned.

My eyes finally came up from the floor, welling up with tears as they met her distasteful expression.

That was actually quite hurtful. My breath hitched in my throat and when I hadn't replied after a few seconds, she knew she'd said something wrong.

"Oh, God, Amber honey, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that," She enveloped me in an apologetic hug, "I'm sorry," She repeated as I put my arms around her and ensured my tears stayed firmly in the backs of my eyes.

She pulled me back and held me at arm's length, "But Amber, you do know what I mean, don't you?"

I nodded sadly, "Yeah, I know I've got to tell him but I'm scared,"

"Scared of what?" She frowned.

"I don't want to lose him Han," I admitted, "I'm starting to really care about him,"

"Amber," She began wisely, "If you tell him and he never wants to see you again, he was never worth your time in the first place. And, besides, he really doesn't seem the type to do something like that- he seems to really like you,"

I looked up at her hopefully but before I got the chance to speak Ruby had interrupted with Brendon at her side.

"You guys ready, the pilot said we're going to go up in five," Ruby explained.

Hannah and I both looked over and nodded before I cast my eyes over to Brendon who sent me a worried glance.

Then something inside me made me think that, even though they were forced back, he could see my tears when my best friend and my own sister would never have been able to tell.

We all began to walk over to the pilot but Brendon grabbed hold of my upper arm as I walked past him to stop me.

"Amber, are you okay?" He frowned worriedly, holding my face very gently in his hands and caressing my cheeks with his thumbs.

Nodding vaguely, I held onto his wrists, caressing them like he was with my cheeks, "I'm fine,"

"No," He shook his head defiantly, "You're not; tell me what's wrong,"

"Sometimes I think you know me better than the people who should," I sighed.

"Well, you're my girlfriend, it's my job to know," He whispered deeply, leaning his forehead on my own.

"Girlfriend?" A small smile came to my features even though a small amount of dread lodged itself into my stomach.

"Yeah... Do you think I go around kissing every gorgeous impulsive girl I meet?" He smirked slightly.

"I should hope not," I breathed, glancing down at his lips, my own tingling with a growing want to feel them, "You're getting good at this spontaneous thing- I wasn't expecting the whole girlfriend ordeal,"

"What can I say?" He murmured, "I'm learning," He shrugged before placing his lips onto mine briefly.

"So, you guys ready to go up?" The pilot's voice echoed and caused Brendon and I to pull away before he slid his hand into mine.

"Ready as we'll ever be," Hannah announced.

Fifteen Minutes Later

Brendon's leg was bouncing up and down furiously as his eyes darted frantically around the plane.

"You scared?" I asked as he laced our fingers and squeezed my hand.

"I'm fucking terrified," He cursed.

I chuckled slightly, "You'll be fine, the guy won't let anything happen to you, he's a professional," I reassured.

"I suppose you're right," He agreed, his leg still jerking uncontrollably.

"Nothing I say is going to stop you from fidgeting is it?"

He shot me an innocent smile, "Nope,"

"Great," I rolled my eyes.

"Excuse me Amber," The voice of my expert came from behind me so I swivelled in my seat, "We're going second; Hannah is going first,"

I nodded, "Okay,"

"Brendon, Ruby said she doesn't care when she goes so it's your decision," Adam (my guy) added.

Brendon cast an unsure glance over to me before replying, "Third, please,"

Adam nodded understandingly before turning to speak to the others.

"I guess you don't want to be last on the plane then?" I smiled teasingly.

"It's not that, it's just 'third time lucky'- I'd feel safer if I went on a number I was less likely to die on,"

I slapped him playfully, "You're not going to die you idiot,"

"You can't guarantee that," He shot back.

"You know what, I bet you ten dollars that you won't die," I stuck out my hand for him to shake.

"I'm not going to bet on my own death!" He exclaimed.

I snorted, "Only because you know you'll lose,"

"Well, I'll lose either way so let's forget it,"

Sighing, I flopped my head against his shoulder, "Fine,"

"Okay everyone, we're now at optimum height; get yourselves ready," The pilot spoke over the speaker.

Brendon's leg bounced higher and I grabbed it, pushing it down to the floor only for him to bounce his other one.

"Oh my God," I whined, causing him to laugh.

"I'd stop but I can't," He reasoned.

"Oh my God, I'm freaking out!" Hannah squealed as she walked past with her professional man.

"You'll be fine," The guy reassured her as he attached himself to her. I held up a thumb to Hannah and her absolutely terrified face before they wandered to the hole in the side of the plane. Soon enough she'd disappeared out of the side of the plane and Adam tapped me on the shoulder.

"You ready?" He smiled.

Pulling my goggles from my head and putting them over my eyes, I stood up, "Yeah, let's do it!"

Adam stood behind me and clamped himself to me before we wandered over to the edge.

"Adam, can I ask a favour?" I had to raise my voice slightly due to the noise of the rushing wind.

"You can if you're quick," He agreed.

"Would you hold my hand?" I questioned.

He chuckled slightly, "Yeah sure," He nodded before taking hold of my hand, "You ready now?"

I sighed, "Yeah, let's go,"

"Okay, one, two, three," He counted and threw us off the plane.

I squeezed Adam's hand tight as I felt my organ's get thrown to the back of my body, that sickly plummeting feeling growing in my stomach. The adrenaline was rocketing around my body and my heart had sped up way too fast. The ground, that seemed so far away and miniscule, was getting bigger and bigger by the second.

I felt my cheeks rippling from the force against them and the noise of the wind rushing past my ears was so loud it even muffled my heartbeat. But even so, the rush was exhilarating.

It felt as though I was flying even though I was falling unbelievably fast through the air.

At one point it didn't even feel like we were falling, it just felt like we were suspended in the air.

When we were about half way between the height of the plane and the ground, I felt Adam let go of my hand before releasing the parachute. A huge force pulled us back as the air resistance hit the chute and we began to float rather than fall.

"Oh my God, that was insane," I breathed, finally being able to hear something other than the wind.

"Amazing isn't it? The rush is incredible," Adam replied.

"Yeah, I want to do it again!" I announced, flailing my limbs.

He chuckled, "You'll have to pay again,"

"Okay... Maybe not then," I laughed.

It took us a few minutes before we reached the ground and Adam released me from our attachment.

"Thanks so much!" I hi-fived him and grinned.

"Good job Amber," He smiled before I ran off to Hannah, throwing my arms around her.

"How freaking fantastic was that?!" I yelled, spinning her around.

"I know! It was incredible!" She squealed as I put her down, throwing an arm around her shoulder.

"I've never felt a rush like that in my life," I breathed as I saw Brendon and Ruby's figures up in the distance.

"Me neither," Hannah agreed.

A few minutes later Brendon's feet were on the floor and he was unattached from his expert.

As soon as he was free, he bounced over to me, grabbing me around the waist and swirling me around like I had done to Hannah.

"Have you ever felt so exhilarated in all your life?!" He exclaimed, letting me fall to my feet again but holding me so I didn't lose balance.

I laughed at his excitement and he rapidly threw down the zip on his suit before grabbing my hand.

"Feel my heart Ambs, feel it," Fumbling, he pushed my hand beneath the suit and pressed it to his chest, "It's never beaten that fast since I was a little kid," The smile on his face didn't falter, "And it's all because of you," He took my face in his hands and pressed our lips together, "Thank you,"

I grinned widely, "You're very welcome,"

And where I'd previously said that there's a time that comes in everyone's life where, if they haven't already, they realise that they haven't been living- That moment was his.

Because from that moment on, Brendon Urie was a changed man.

To Do List1. Buy flowers for mum and help them understand.
2. Have a space hopper race.
3. Swim with dolphins.
4. Hold a charity night.
5. Get drunk & sing loud and out of tune on karaoke.
6. Ride the biggest, fastest, highest rollercoaster
7. Go to the highest point in the city at night to see the lights
8. Sleep under the stars
9. Crowd surf
10. Meet favourite band
11. Sky-dive

Eleven down, fourteen to go.

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But what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

Celine Dion- Taking Chances

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