Even Forever Doesn't Seem Like Long Enough

"I could fall asleep right here," I mumbled, my eyes closing slightly as I'd kept myself safe in Brendon's arms for almost fifteen minutes.

"I'd advise you not to, I haven't got enough hold on you to stop you from falling," He joked, "And I can't drive your car to get us back,"

"Feel free, I'll say I crashed it to the insurance company," I replied with a simple shrug.

He rested his cheek on the top of my head with a small chuckle and I was just getting more and more comfortable.

"God, I really think I'm going to fall asleep," I sighed and pulled away from him in an attempt to wake myself up, "You're so comfortable,"

"Um... Thanks? I think,"

I smiled sleepily at him, "Shall we go or do you want to stay for a bit longer?"

"Let's go," He decided, receiving a nod from me as I linked our arms again.

Confidently, he removed my arm from his and linked our fingers instead, gently and briefly stroking my thumb with his.

I bit my lip, blushing and smiling like a child.

We were soon on our way to Brendon's house and, too quickly, we arrived.

"I better get home before my mum has a panic attack and my sister calls the police," I joked.

He laughed, "Are your family really protective of you or something?"

I smiled unsurely but he didn't notice, "Something like that,"

"Well, I won't keep you," He took my hand from the gear stick and kissed it gently, "Night Amber,"

I gazed at him affectionately- Could he get any more adorable?!

The man drove me crazy.

The good kind of crazy, of course.

"Goodnight Brendon,"

He shot me one of those dazzling smiles of his before he got out and wandered to his doorway. When I was sure he got in safe, I made my way home.

"Amber, is that you honey?" My mum called as I closed the door behind me.

"Yeah, it's me," I responded, following the sound of her voice into the study.

"Did you have a nice night?" She smiled warmly.

Nodding, I sat down in a seat beside her, "Yeah, it was amazing,"

She glanced at me suspiciously, "What's his name?"

I frowned slightly, "What makes you think there's a 'him'?"

"You've got that glow about you," She shrugged, "And Ruby told me about him- She forgot his name though,"

"His name's Brendon," A bright beaming smile stretched across my face.

"Gosh, you really do like him, don't you?" She seemed slightly shocked.

Letting my eyes fall to the floor, I nodded sheepishly.

"Yeah," I admitted, "I really do,"

She sighed in an uncertain tone; the tone that usually signalled the beginning of something that neither of us wanted to address. She was going to say it anyway though, because she knew it had to be said.

"Listen Amber, sweetie," She began and I felt my stomach fall, anticipating that my good mood was about to be shot down, "Do you really think that it's a good idea to get involved with someone under your circumstances?"

"I'm not 'getting involved' with him,"

"But, darling, I can tell you really like him and I'm sure that he likes you as well from the way Ruby and Hannah have been talking about him," She kept using pet names as a way to make it seem to herself that the blow she was throwing wasn't as hard.

"Yeah, but we're just friends-"

"You won't be soon enough. If you keep spending so much time together I fear you may fall for him and-"

"And since when is falling for someone a bad thing?" I blurted defensively.

"Since your circumstances changed," She spoke calmly, "Amber, if he falls for you too after you've spent time with him then he could really get heartbroken,"

"I already know that," I retorted, "But even when I didn't know him, we kept bumping into each other. It just seemed like we were supposed to meet each other,"

"I know how strongly you believe in all this fate business but is it really enough to start a relationship even though you know it'll end in a bad way?"

"But is knowing it'll end badly a good enough reason to not start a relationship even though it could be the best thing that life could offer?"

She paused, staring at me, "I hate it when you do that,"

The corners of my mouth twitched into a smile, "I know what I'm doing mum and he knows too,"

"How did he take your um..." She coughed awkwardly, "News,"

I rolled my eyes at her inability to actually say it after almost seven months.

"Um... I kind of... Haven't told him yet,"

Her warm expression hardened slightly, "And why not?"

"The opportunity to tell him hasn't arisen,"

She stared at me, "That's not a good enough reason; if you expect to have any sort of relationship with this boy; it can't be based on lies. He'll be crushed when he finds out! He doesn't even know what he's getting himself into Amber," She gave me that disappointed tone and look that always sent my guilt into overdrive.

"I know," I breathed, almost inaudibly.

"You're going to tell him next time you see him, aren't you Amber?" It was more an order in the form of a question.

Sighing despondently, I nodded, "Yeah, I will,"

I didn't.

I never even intended on doing it; I just couldn't bring myself to.

If anything, I'd begin to say 'Brendon, I have-' and then I'd stop and finish with either 'to go to the toilet' or 'an itchy arm'.

I think he was beginning to think that I had chicken pox and a water infection.

I was a complete wimp, I knew that, but every time I looked at him and those subliminal brown eyes of his I couldn't do it.

As selfish as it was, I wanted more time with him. To some extent I wanted the rest of my life with him. I wanted that more than anything right then.

"Amber, come on, that's the third time you've zoned out on me in the past ten minutes, what's going around in that head of yours?" He waved his hand in front of my face to get my attention.

I sighed, turning slightly on the seat of his couch to look at him, "Listen, Brendon-"

"If you're going to tell me that you have an itchy arm or that you have to go to the toilet then I really don't need to know," He laughed.

I smiled and shuffled over to him so that our outer thighs were pressed together and I let my head fall onto his shoulder.

He curled his arm around my shoulders, pulled me close and then pressed his lips to my head.

"I was just going to say that I missed you," I put my arm around him and snuggled into him.

"We were only apart for a day," He whispered.

"A day is worth a lot more than you think," I murmured back, feeling myself become slightly upset.

"Ambs," He began, "What's wrong?" He pulled away from me and tilted my chin up.

Shaking my head, I reached up and brushed some of his hair back before caressing his cheek.

He smiled at me and I bit my lip as we gazed into each other's eyes, searching for something that we weren't quite sure we were ready to look for.

"I have to go," I quickly pulled away from him and got up, sliding on my shoes and putting on my jacket.

"Where are you going?" I glanced over to see his eyebrows contorted to a frown.

"Do you want to come with me?" I suggested.

"Where are you going?" He repeated.

"I thought you wanted to be impulsive and not think about things- if I tell you where I'm going then you'll think about it. So are you coming or not?"

He looked thoughtful for a second before he nodded in agreement and got up.

"Just let my get my shoes on," He said and wandered out of the room.

It was strange how he trusted me so much- Sometimes I felt like I was taking advantage of his want to be spontaneous and stuff.

It seemed like he thought he'd learn to be impulsive by following my lead and copying me.

But, even though I knew he couldn't 'learn' it by coping me, I didn't try to guide him- I just let him follow because he was with me a lot of the time.

I did feel quite guilty for doing that- especially since he didn't know the reason for my own transformation.

"Are you ready then?" Brendon brought me out of another trance.

"Yeah, let's go," I smiled, strolling over to him and locking our fingers, "My car or yours?"

He shrugged apathetically, "Either,"

"You can drive this time," I decided.

He grabbed his keys on the way out and, obviously, I had to direct him to our destination.

Ten minutes later, we were outside the place.

"You're getting a tattoo?" Brendon cast an unsure glance over to me.

I beamed at him, nodding, "Yup,"

"Why?"

"Because I want one..." I answered slowly.

"Do you ever have a day when you don't do something random or abnormal?"

"Getting a tattoo isn't abnormal or random," I laughed, undoing my seatbelt and getting out of the car.

"You know what I mean," He waved his hand dismissively as I met him around his side of the car.

"I don't think I do," I replied, making my way into the tattoo parlour.

"Do you want me to come in with you?" He offered.

I grinned at him, "No, that's okay, I'll be fine- I was planning on coming alone anyway wasn't I?"

"Yeah but you don't have to now because I'm here with you,"

"I'll be fine," I reassured him, winking at him before wandering up to the desk.

I had to wait about five minutes while the tattoo artist set up his stuff- during this time Brendon was asking me what I was getting done but I told him it was a surprise- but soon enough I was in there, sitting in the chair waiting.

"Is this going to bleed?" Was the first question I asked the huge, muscle ridden, ink-laden man holding a very large, very strange, very sharp looking instrument.

"It will, but not much, barely even at all really. It depends what you're getting done," He smiled encouragingly, "You look like the kind of girl that can handle it so I wouldn't worry,"

I chuckled slightly and told him what I wanted after pulling up my sleeves and putting up my hair into a bobble.

I wasn't exactly sure whether it was a good idea but I did it anyway.

It didn't hurt as much as I expected it to.

"Thank you," I grinned at the tattooist about half an hour later.

"You're very welcome love," He smiled, "Now just be careful with those, don't scratch it if it itches and you can pick up the cream you have to put on outside at the front desk,"

"Okay," I pulled myself up off the chair carefully, "Bye, and thanks again,"

He nodded once with a small smile as I made my way out.

Brendon shot up off the chair as I came out into the front of the shop, "Hey, let me see!"

I jumped and giggled at his enthusiasm, "Nope, you'll have to wait until I'm ready to show you,"

He frowned and pouted, "But why?"

I wandered over to the woman on the desk and she gave me my cream as I gave her the money.

"Either that or you'll have to find them yourself," I whispered, winking suggestively as I strolled past him. I took his hand on the way past and led him back to the car.

"Can't I find them now?"

"In the middle of the street- Are you actually that keen?" I smirked cheekily.

He rolled his eyes and let go of my hand before getting into the car.

"So are you having a normal night tonight or are you doing something random or abnormal?" He questioned casually as we pulled on our seatbelts.

"I'm camping out tonight," I beamed at him.

He slowly looked up at me and cocked an eyebrow, "You're camping? Where?"

"Wherever I can see the stars," I shrugged.

"You can see the stars out of your window in your bedroom," He stated simply, starting the car and beginning to drive.

"No, I mean not out of a window,"

"So you're going to sleep outside on the floor. even though there's a high possibility that it'll rain or something, so you can sleep under the stars that might not actually be visible tonight because of the clouds?"

I stared at him blankly, "Don't be such a killjoy- That's a very pessimistic view of my night ahead my friend,"

"Sorry buddy," He mocked, "But it just seems like a pointless night ahead, you'll get sick or something,"

"I won't," I challenged, "I'll be fine,"

He shot me a concerned look before he turned his attention back to the road.

"So what are you doing tonight Mr. Fun-Lover?" I teased.

"Sleeping in a bed that's really comfortable," He replied with a smile.

"You should come and sleep with me," I began automatically without thinking about what I was saying.

"Whoa, slow down, I don't think we're there yet," He joked.

I paused briefly, not understanding what he meant, but I quickly caught on and giggled, swatting his arm playfully, "You know what I mean,"

"Yeah I do- you want me to come and camp when I could sleep in my own lovely warm bed,"

"Oh come on, be impulsive," I smirked pretentiously, mocking his revelation from the night before.

He shot me 'the look' and I laughed.

"Or are you too chicken?" I added, twirling my copper hair between my fingers, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Stop taking the piss," He demanded. I couldn't help but chuckle at him.

"Alright, alright, fine," I agreed, "But still, you should come with me, we'll have a good time- We'll make a fire with sticks!" I spoke excitedly.

He glanced at me as if I had gone completely nuts.

"Okay... Maybe not, but still, we'll have fun- It'll be just me and you and if it rains I swear to God we'll sleep in the car, deal?" I negotiated.

"Why do you even want me to come with you?"

"Because I'll be lonely," I pouted.

He chuckled airily, "What about Hannah or Ruby?"

I burst into hysterics, "Aha, that's funny- I didn't know you were funny. Hannah and Ruby wouldn't dare risk bugs and things getting on them,"

"I don't want to risk bugs and things getting on me either," He stated as though it were completely obvious.

"But you're a boy," I gazed at him blankly.

"Oh you noticed did you?" He laughed, "Just because I'm a boy doesn't mean that I want bugs and things over me,"

I shrugged, "Fair enough. So are you going to come with me or not?"

"Yeah, why not," He agreed.

I grinned at him, "Great! We'll have a good time, I promise,"

"I'm holding you to it,"

12am

"We're not going to get arrested for this are we?" Brendon frowned slightly as I laid out our bed for the night.

"No," I scoffed, "We're not doing anything illegal; we're just sleeping on the floor,"

He eyed me suspiciously before he fell down onto the sleeping bags.

"What happens if I need the toilet?" He enquired, holding out his hand for me to take.

"Well," I placed my hand in his and sat down beside him, "There're bushes over there," I nodded to the woodland surrounding us.

He cast a glance over to them and then looked back at me, "You're kidding, right?"

Giggling, I shook my head, "It depends how badly you need it because I'm not driving you home just for the toilet,"

He rolled his eyes at me, "Fine,"

I leaned my elbow on his shoulder and brushed a few strands of his hair back before looking up to the sky.

"See, I told you that you shouldn't be pessimistic; you can see the stars perfectly,"

He snaked his arm around my waist and slid me closer to him so my arm fell off his shoulder and it was replaced with my head.

"This is a real experience this isn't it?" I sighed blissfully.

"Apart from being completely freezing, yeah it is," He commented.

I nudged my elbow into his stomach and shook my head at him, "You're such a pansy,"

"I am not a pansy," He gasped causing more giggles to escape from my throat.

"Then man up and stop complaining,"

"You're taking a sledgehammer to my masculinity, you know that, right?"

I looked up at him with an innocent grin and it fell slightly when he didn't look amused.

"Sorry," I smiled apologetically, "But you should get under the quilt if you're cold,"

He shrugged, "It's alright, I was only complaining to annoy you anyway,"

"Hey!" I squeaked, nudging him slightly.

He smirked cheekily and then squeezed me tighter to him.

"Anyway, are we planning on getting up early tomorrow or are we just waking up when we do?" He questioned.

"I don't know really, not too late because I don't want to wake up to people walking their dogs and letting them lick my face,"

He let out a hearty laugh, "However hilarious that might be, I'd rather it didn't happen to me either, so shall I set my watch for eight-thirty and we can get up and go in the car or something?" He suggested.

At this point I felt something wet hit my cheek.

"Actually, I think we're best getting in the car now, I just felt rain," I flinched as another raindrop hit me, "And I just felt more,"

We quickly got up and bundled all the covers up as I unlocked the car and pulled open the back door.

Brendon launched the bundled up covers into the backseat and we both got in- me on the driver's side and him in the passenger seat.

"I told you it might rain," Brendon spoke hedonistically.

"Well the weatherman said it wasn't going to, it's his fault," I blamed.

"Oh yeah, blame the weatherman,"

"I am, it was his fault," I stated, stretching into the back seat and pulling a quilt from it.

"Thanks," Brendon smiled as I handed it to him. I grabbed pillows and another quilt so we could get more comfortable.

I began adjusting my seat so that it was flatter and I could lie back. Cuddling into my blanket, I watched as the rain began to come down faster.

"I guess you won't get to sleep under the stars after all," Brendon looked sympathetic as he moved his seat to be like mine.

I stretched up and pulled back the sunroof cover.

"No but the clouds will clear once the rain has stopped," I replied, letting my hand fall back down.

Soon, his fingers were intertwined with mine.

"Ever the optimist," He smiled.

"There's no point being pessimistic is there? It just makes you feel more depressed,"

"True," He sighed before he paused briefly, "You're not depressed are you?"

I looked over at him and shook my head, "I never am when I'm with you," My lips twitched into a small smile.

He took his lip between his teeth before he turned his head back so he was looking out of the sunroof.

"What's up?" I asked with intrigue as I saw his face become thoughtful.

"Nothing, I'm just thinking," He shrugged.

"What about?"

"Whether I should tell you what I'm thinking,"

I chuckled slightly, "Have you made a decision?"

"Not yet," He breathed.

"Okay," I nodded, "Let me know when you're ready," I added with a yawn, getting comfortable in my make-shift bed.

Even though the curiosity was killing me, I left it at that- I knew he'd tell me when he was ready and I didn't want to force it out of him.

"You know you can talk to me about anything though, don't you?" I spoke slowly as my eyes fluttered closed.

I felt his thumb drift slowly across my cheek.

"I do now," He replied as I began to fall asleep, still wondering even as I fell into my dreams...

... What was he thinking?

To Do List1. Buy flowers for mum and help them understand.
2. Have a space hopper race.
3. Swim with dolphins.
4. Hold a charity night.
5. Get drunk & sing loud and out of tune on karaoke.
6. Ride the biggest, fastest, highest rollercoaster
7. Go to the highest point in the city at night to see the lights
8. Sleep under the stars

Eight down, seventeen to go.

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It's just one more day
No-one said there would be rain again
Won't blame it on myself
I'll blame it on the weatherman
Get away for a while
Here I am out on my own again
Won't blame it on myself
I'll blame it on the weatherman

B*Witched- Blame It On The Weatherman

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