Greedy or Straight?

I was sat under the tree thinking too my self, I was thinking what do I do, what do I say to Ed, How I was supposed to react to it. It was me Ed had a crush on, it’s hurting me too know that I’m hurting him.

He is my best friend, the best, best friend I’ve ever had. I can’t break his heart. But maybe I feel slightly for him, maybe what I thought earlier about his eyes. Maybe I’m not tipsy, that was just an excuse. I don’t know what to do.

I sat there watching the river flow, and the sound of it was beautiful, it’s the sound of nature, the birds chirping in the background. It was perfect. Why didn’t I come here more often?

This is my thinking place, but I should come more often. I watched a young couple walk over the bridge slowly holding hands. I noticed how happy they looked, If only I could be that happy.

Maybe Ed could make me happy, but I just don’t know, I’m confused.

I glanced back towards the river, then up towards the sky, I noticed the sun was going down, I sighed and stood up from the ground, I glanced at my watch, it read 8:30 pm, I must have been sitting here for two hours, I was too lost in thought, thinking back to the good old days when it was just me and Ed and Dan in ‘the academy’ but ‘Elliot Minor’ has changed my life for the better.

I couldn’t help thinking back to the times me and Ed had fun together alone. Maybe I was falling for my best friend, maybe he is my answer to my broken equation.

I walked slowly back to the jeep, across the bridge, and I got into the jeep and drove back to the house, after the half an hour drive home, I was hungry.

I walked into the house flinging my keys onto the table in the hall way. Ed ran out of the living room.

“Alex I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t of...” I put my hand up to stop him from talking.

“Ed don’t worry about it” I said showing him a small smile

He looked at me speechless, I walked past him and up the stair well to my room. I sat on my bed, then Ali walked into my room.

“What made Ed cry earlier?” he asked me

“What Ed cried?” I asked him shocked and I felt guilty

“Yeah, he could only spit out a few words” Ali said sternly

“What?” I asked still shocked I gulped as Ali continued

“Well at first I thought it was because I broke his bed, then when I approached him the only thing he said was ‘he hates me’ ” Ali said looking deep into my eyes

My eyes widened, I never thought he would cry, I shrugged.

“Well I’m going out now to visit my special lady friend” Ali said smirking

I turned my head and stared at the floor, I grumbled at what Ali said, not fully paying attention, guilt got the better of me, I heard the door slam, and Ali’s jeep pulling out of the drive.

There was a knock on my bedroom door, I looked up at Ed, his eyes red and puffy, I didn’t notice before, before I didn’t and couldn’t look at him straight, now I had to, if I didn’t I would hate myself.