‹ Prequel: Where's the Heart?

Love is a Two Way Street

Blue Burns Orange

"So when are we going home?" I asked Edwin, not liking the awkward silence. It was probably around three in the morning, but then again, I didn't have much grip on time since it was just an illusion to me and him, as well as everyone else in the house.

"Oh, you don't like my home?" he asked sarcastically. He added, "Later today. I don't see much of these people, so it'd mean a lot to my mom if we at least stayed for...dinner, if you call it that."

"What do you mean, dinner?"

I was envisioning a human body laying on the table, and someone shouting "I get the foot veins!" Edwin laughed lightly.

"No, it's more like conversation, really. We don't eat, but it's like a family gathering to talk. We normally do that at the kitchen table. I imagine we'll do it there this time as well."

"Ah," I said softly, not even attempting to keep the silence away. I had too much on my mind, and sure enough Edwin knew it was him who was disturbing me so much for he grabbed my hand quickly and leaned his head on mine.

"I could help you with those troublesome thoughts, you know?"

"Your opinion is biased," I sighed. "But go on."

"I say to figure out if you love me, so how much you enjoy being with me in bed," he whispered.

"Oh for God's sake!" I cried, yanking my hand away. The fact that we were in a different home than our own made it easier to control my "urges", if you want to call them that. But that sounds dirty!

"What?" He seemed startled by my confident refusal.

"I said no. Hell no, even. Look, I don't care what kind of player you are, that doesn't mean every chick will screw you!"

I thought he would get mad at me for that, but he didn't. I guess he had been in my head, so he knew why I was in such a crummy mood: I didn't want to be in love with him. He ruined my life and gave me a new one, and I couldn't love him for doing that. He had done something so selfish, and I wouldn't forgive him. I wanted to love him--or to be able to anyway--but I refused to love him. He needed to rot in Hell for what he did to me!

I started crying uncontrollably for thinking such a thing. No, he shouldn't burn in Hell, for I knew I would run there to bring him back home. That wasn't a welcomed realization. Edwin sat there, awkward, for a few seconds before holding me tightly. I just let go and started crying on him, hating him for having a hold over me.

Edwin bit his lip before whispering softly, "I love you".

Tears streamed down my face and I nodded, managing to murmur, "Mhmm."

"Are you sure you don't want to say it back?"

For the first time, I knew I did want to say it back. But I couldn't--it wouldn't be right at all.

"I don't know."

"That's better than a definite no at least," he muttered, disappointed.

I would love to say that his disappointment made me happy because he had screwed my life up so much, but I knew his disappointment made me so sad. No matter what torment he put me through, no matter what Hell he forced me to endure, I knew I couldn't ever wish to harm him in anyway.

Stupid boys and their heart stealing...