‹ Prequel: Where's the Heart?

Love is a Two Way Street

It's All Over

“You’re mad at me now,” I said quietly, sitting beside him on the bed.

“No, I’m not,” Edwin muttered.

“Oh right: you’re not mad—you’re pissed.”

“I’m not mad!” he snarled, glowering at me. I shrunk away.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, scared. His eyes didn’t soften in the least, but he looked away. I sighed, looking at my feet silently. Why did it make him so mad?

He probably flipped mindlessly through the channels for ten minutes as I just sat sullenly beside him. He suddenly turned to me, a sad look on his face.

“Do you want to know why I want a kid so badly?” He still sounded a bit flustered. I nodded, my eyes plastered to him. He looked so worn out. “It’s just that I’ve made so many mistakes in my life. I’m not perfect and I never claimed to be. I was a manwhore before I met you, Jade. I’ve left that behind. And now I just want to be a dad. That’s what I’ve wanted all along, but I’ve been too busy screwing random chicks to see that. I just want to be able to hold my sleeping child in my arms. Is that asking so much?”

I looked down again. No; it wasn’t asking much at all. I opened my mouth, but he shook his head.

“Save it. You don’t want a baby, so don’t give me one. It’s fine.”

“No, Eddy,” I sighed. I couldn’t believe I was going to say this. “I do want it. I want to have a baby with you.”

“Really?” He wasn’t reading my eyes for the truth. No, he didn’t seem to care if I was lying at all. His eyes lit up and he pulled me to him for the first time in what seemed like forever.

“Yeah,” I whispered, voice cracking. He didn’t seem to mind much—or at all, for that matter.

“I love you so much, Jade,” he whispered in my ear. He hesitated for a second or two, but I knew it was coming. “Can we start trying now?” He seemed almost afraid of what I’d say; as if he knew the answer I would give him. I forced a smile. It was pretty damn hard to do.

“Yes.”

And as soon as I said the words, I lost all respect I had ever had for myself. I felt dead inside.

And yet, Edwin didn't seem to even care...