Narcotic Sweet Talk

Vic woke up to the most annoying beeping sound on earth. He tried to tell Mike to turn off the television but all that came out was a gurgling noise. He tried to swallow and realized that there was a tube down his throat. Anxiety struck. Vic started shaking and looked around him, he was dressed in a hospital gown, he was tucked into a stark white bed very tightly and the room he was in was filled with IV tubes and heart monitor machines. What the fuck had he done?

He saw Mike, Jaime, and Tony sitting against a pale green wall, huddled together, whispering. "What the hell?" Vic asked allowed, his words sounding slurred together. His teeth felt thick and his head hurt worse than it ever had before. He tried to sit up and then figured it was a bad idea when the machine next to him started going ballistic. He lifted his arm and saw a needle stuck in the small patch of skin that wasn’t wrapped.

Mike looked relieved as he told Vic that he was awake. Rolling his eyes because he didn’t know any other response, Vic tried to remember what had happened. A small, blonde woman in the opposite corner of the room made him remember everything. He closed his eyes but all he could see were her scared, starry blue eyes staring across the room at him. Shannon. It was all her fucking fault.

Vic remembered drinking with his friends after his failure of a proposal. He remembered slashing his wrists and he remembered talking to Shannon on the phone for the last time. Vic also remembered wishing he was dead. The intensity of Shannon's eyes made him wish that for the second time.

"Vic," Mike spoke slowly, glaring at Shannon for a split second and then returning his focus on his brother, "Vic, they told us you could go home once you woke up. You've been asleep for a day and a half. It's Monday afternoon." Vic wanted to go home but the only place he felt home was in Shannon's arm and he knew that wasn’t a possibility. He cursed and told Mike to get a doctor so he could get away. Mike nodded and he dragged Jaime and Tony out of the room so Vic could be alone with the woman he wanted, loved, hated, needed most.

"Take me home."

He spoke to her as clearly as he could and didn’t phrase it as a question. She nodded. He wanted to talk to her, he wanted her to tell him that this was all a big mistake. The three boys came in the room with a nurse who unhooked Vic, who dressed quickly and began to walk out the door. Mike argued with Shannon about taking him home but caved in when he looked at Vic's face. His eyes were full of need and pain and Mike couldn’t handle seeing his brother sad. Jaime and Tony took him out of the hospital reluctantly as Vic made his way into the backseat of Shannon's familiar car and curled up on the seat as she drove him home.

"Don't ever fuck with me like that again, Vic. You really fucking made me worry. Okay?" Shannon chastised as she pulled out of the hospital. She continued random banter about how Vic scared her half to death when she got his message the first time around. Vic was sick of her bullshit talk. He wanted answers and he was going to get some.

He killed the conversation, "Can I even complicate your breathing?" Shannon stuttered as Vic made his intentions clear, "I want the fucking honest answer. Don't give me anymore bullshit." Pulling up to his apartment complex, Shannon said that dreadful word again, she said no. Vic unlocked the backdoor and spilled out of it, onto the lawn. He took a grip of the grass and felt like he had just been stabbed in the back. He shivered, he didn’t want to be there but he asked for it. "I guess I'm just your average boy."

Shannon started a comeback, "Vic, please. This is not what I need, this is not what you need."

Vic spat onto the grass in disgust, shakily getting up from the soil and standing eyelevel with Shannon, "Since when have you given a shit about what I need. You never cared about me. But you know what Shannon?" Vic paused for somewhat of a dramatic affect and began to lie through his teeth, "I'm enjoying every minute with myself."

"Fan-fucking-tastic." Shannon hissed, her eyes set to kill. "Next time you try to kill yourself over me don't fucking call and tell me! I'll be happy to see you dead." Vic shuddered, Shannon could make hell feel like home and yet he never wanted to leave her side. Her lips, the lightning lips Vic loved to kiss so much, were snarled but her cheeks were now streaming with tears. She looked so awkward, so unlike her normal self. He felt like he didn’t know her, she was a stranger.

Vic wanted to cut to the chase as all his old lust filled feeling came bubbling up his throat. He yearned to say 'I love you' again but restrained himself. "Tell me why, tell me why you lied to me when you told me you loved me!" Vic yelled, picturing Shannon's slight grin when she told him she was in love with him the first time. Putting his hand in his pocket, Vic pulled out her engagement ring and threw it at her. "Do you want me?"

Again, Shannon's cold voice spoke the two letter word that broke Vic's heart everytime he heard it, "No." Vic walked away from her, his body throbbing. She was talking behind him but she wasn’t following him, oh, no. Vic kept his ears open and sharp so he could hear her every word because he loved to hear her voice.

Even if it was for the last time because he needed a part of her that he could never let go.