Killing Daniel Heartman.

I never even saw it coming.

Auren used his right shoulder and pounded it into the right side of my ribs. It was all so painfully slow as I seen myself falling and swore I heard something crack. The wind was literally knocked out of me and I thought I was going to puke blood. Never in my life have I felt such pain and the pain only got worse when I had to wonder, Was this what he considered payback for disappointing him?

Needless to say Auren made the shot.

I could hear Aubrey’s sincere voice calling my name, but couldn’t actually see him. My eyes were closed due to the pain and I found that my body began to curl into the fetal position. Indescribable pain surged through me and with even the slightest of movement made me feel like I was being stabbed with sharp knives. My poor intestines screamed in pain since my mouth couldn’t and my eyes slowly watered with hot tears.

“What the fuck did you do to him!” shouted someone, I think may have been Audrien. “Audrina, are you ok. Dude get up.”

I don’t think I can, I thought softly as I felt water dripping down on me, It must have started raining. But it was early September… Vermont doesn’t get rain until the ending of October.

“Is she breathing?” whispered a voice.

It was then when I made a huge gasp for breath and felt the bittersweet pain of breathing.

*Christ!*

After a moment or so one of my eyes opened and then the other. Everyone was looking at me with concern, all except Auren and my dad. Groggily I lifted up my head, only for it to fall back down with a thud.

“Your not going to let him get away with that are you, squirt?” smiled my dad his eyes soft and warm. Suddenly I didn’t feel so scared. Dad had a knack for doing that, smiling and making you believe that everything was ok.

I groaned and shook my head no. I wasn’t going to let him get away with it, I was tougher than this.

“Alright then, get up and show him how a real man does It.” spoke Jude as he pulled me to my feet.

I nodded my head and struggled to stay on my feet, beginning to walk back to where it all started, center forward.

“Dad, he’s in pain.” piped Aurthur looking at me as I stumbled down the field. “He may have even broken something.”

“I’m raising a man, men have to learn how to ignore pain and strive for what they want.” states my father simply. The funny thing is my father really believed that he as given 5 twin boys and 1 twin girl, rather than 4 twin boys and 2 twin girls.

I wasn’t sure exactly at what point in life it was decided that I was a boy, but that’s how it’s been ever since I can remember. My brothers treated me just like a fellow brother, meaning when we fought, they didn’t take it easy on me. But it also meant that I was one of the guys, so I didn’t have to bide by nearly half the rules that Audrey had to obey and I had way more freedom than she would ever have. It was all a part of being my father’s son.

“Alright boys, if rough is how you want to play it. Go right ahead.” shouted my father over the rain. ”There are no fouls and there are no rules, do what you gotta do to win.”

I watch as my brothers and Trent clear the field. They knew what it meant when Jude said no rules and do what you have to.

The whistle rang and Auren came running straight towards me, the ball weaving through his feet. I waited for him to get about 4 feet away from me before whipping out my fist and decking him right in the jaw. Spit flew as he staggered backwards just enough for me to steal the ball and I haul ass down the field.

“That’s 1 for the squirt.” shouted my father, by now I couldn’t even see him through the rain. I couldn’t but think, what’s with this weather? It never rains this hard and this early in Vermont.

I heard the whistle and I headed towards Auren trying to dodge him, but he was on my tail. With every breath I made I couldn’t help but squint from the pain, as my lungs had long ready to give up. I was half way down felid when I felt Auren’s hand around the back of my throat and instantly my back slammed into the muddy grass. What little air that was being passed through my lungs was now gone and I completely ignored the pain as I lurched upon my feet.

“That’s 1 for Auren, you guys are tied!” hollered my dad. “Alright, boys 3’s the magic number.”

The whistle sounded and I went flying towards my brother attempting to steal the ball, he shoved me behind him and right when he thought I was going to fall I bent down and dropped kicked him. I didn’t even wait to see if he stayed down, because all I could think about was the sweet feeling of making a goal. In too much pain to kick the ball, I knee to toss upward and head butted the ball into the net.

“2 for the squirt!” shouted dad.

There was the whistle and Auren came sprinting. He managed to get past me and the pain of seeing him make the goal was worse than any possible cracked rib could have ever been.

“Alright boys squash this! Somebody make 3 already… I’m freezing my ass off!”

The scream of the whistle stung my cold ears as I made my way down court. I gave it my all, pushing down the field and tried to fake out Auren, but he didn’t give in. Instead Auren grabbed me by the arm and flung me down the field. I slid through the mud and tried not to cry as I saw him heading for the goal.

And suddenly I was like a gazelle, down the grass, and meant that he wasn’t going to beat me. I was the better man!

Leaping in the air I rugby tackled the blonde and we both fell to the floor, the ball in open field. I looked at Auren and for a second our eyes met before we both looked at the soccer ball. He was up before I was and even managed to shove me down as he pushed off the ground. But I was right behind him.

With a streak of luck and fast skills I grabbed a handful of Auren’s shirt and yanked him right on his ass. When he fell I hoped over him but to my misfortune he got a hold of my leg and pulled me down with him. I was on all fours and struggled to crawl, but after seeing that he still had my leg I used my other one and kicked him square in the face.

Once he released me I was racing for the ball and was going as fast as my legs could take me. I was only a quarter away from the goal when I felt myself being shoved. I shoved back even harder and kept going for the goal. I could practically taste the win when I felt Auren tug at the back of my sports bra. With a short temper I turned and let my elbow fly. It hit him directly in the nose, blood flying as he went down. When my twin fell his leg kicked me in the rib, the exact same spot where he had tackled me. I staggered and groaned in pain before running a little further. I brought my foot back and kicked hard.

Nothing but goal.

After seeing the ball fly into the net and hearing my father yell, ”Squirt takes the win.” my legs gave out and I was laying spread eagle on the grass. The only thing I could think of was trying to breathe. With each slight intake of stinging air, my chest and stomach surged with pain. I think Aurthur was right; I may have cracked a rib… but at least I won!

The rain poured just a little harder as I panted for breath and I found myself curling into a fetal position once more. Moments later I managed to get on all fours when suddenly I felt myself hurling. Vomit pooled from my lips and I groaned in pain, each hurl sending me into shock.

“Come on little man, you did good.” chuckled my father patting me on the back. The vomit stopped and Jude wrapped one of my arms around his neck, helping me inside. I’m not sure why, but his laughter made me smile and I felt reassured that all would be well.

I looked over spotting Audrien and Aurthur helping our maniac brother Auren. That fucker really was crazier than a toddler on crack. He nearly killed me; I mean I knew he hated me but dayum!

“What in the hell happen-“ started my mother her bronze eyes wide. ”Oh, my babies!”

“There fine Alicia, no worries.” laughed my father.

She gave him one look and he was silent. “No worries? Auren’s all bloodied up and Audrina can barely walk and you tell me not to worry?!?”

“They settled it like men.” smiled my dad. I inwardly laughed; this man was truly comical the way he said that with a straight face.

“Jude, she’s a 16 year old girl! The child barely weighs 130lbs and she and Auren are duking it out in the backyard?” scoffed my mother. ”He could have killed her!”

“Actually mom it really was the other way around.” chuckled Aubrey.

Alicia gave him a look as well and he went silent.

“Both of you showers and clean up. Were ordering pizza.” grumbled my mother. “Jude, a word.”

Poor dad… boy was he in for it; mom wasn’t one to mess with. The woman was just as fiery as that red hair of hers.

My dad leaned me against Trent before following my mother.

“Dude your mom scares the shit out of me.” whispered the Asian male as he took most of my body weight off my leg. Had I been standing here with Lee, my face would have been a tomato, but it was just Trent; silly easy going and entertaining Trent.

“She should.” whispered Audrien back. ”I’ve seen that woman make grown men cry.”

I made my way up towards the staircase and managed to get on alone when Auren attempted to go up at the same time.

“Move!” growled the boy and my eyes went dark.

I shook my head no. He shoved me and my back collided with the wall. I looked Auren dead in the eyes and I suddenly didn’t care if he hated me or not!

“UUOAGGHH!” was the sound of me shoving my brother over the stair banister. Instantly he went flying in the guys.

“Christ! Do you have a death wish or something’?” Questioned Audrien, ”She’s going to fucking kill you, yah retard.”

My eyes met Auren’s and nothing was said, but I stared him dead on for a good minute, telling him that he wasn’t going to make me feel guilty and more. What was done was done and could never be undone, and I’d fight til the death before I would ever let him walk all over me.

I closed the door to my bedroom and saw a pile of shopping bags on my bed. I suppose shopping went well for Audrey. At times I couldn’t help but wonder if things would have been easier if I was like her, my fathers daughter, instead of his son.

The hot water stung at my cold bruised skin and I sighed, slipping into the hot bubble bath. Soaking was the best way to prevent scarring.

I ducked my head under the refreshing water, the warm liquid somewhat curing the pain. I held my breath for as long as I could before coming up for air. After washing all the dirt, mud, vomit and blood off of me I got dressed. It wasn’t until I put on my bra that I realized there was a bruise the size of Canada on my rib.

Shit.

My fingers softly touched at it and I immediately doubled over. I could only imagine what I would feel like tomorrow. Giving a large sigh I pulled on one of Lee’s shirts, which made me feel a little better, and some pajama pants. I had to hold onto my side and grab at the wall just in order to make it through the hall and without even knocking I practically fell through the door of Aubrey’s room.

My brother’s eyes went wide and then back to normal.

“Shit squirt, you nearly gave us a heart attaché, we thought you were Audrey or mom.” sighed Aubrey with his hand on his chest.

I staggered into the room, careful not to stumble on the mixture of porn and comic books on the floor. Aurthur was reading one of Audrien’s karma sutra books, while Trent and Aubrey were playing Grand theft auto 3 and Audrien was text messaging one of his girlfriends of the day in the corner bean bag.

“You ok?” questioned Aubrey as he watched me collapse onto his bed.

I groaned and shook my head no. Immediately my brother tossed the game controller to Audrien who intern pressed the off button on his phone and began playing, taking Aubrey’s spot.

“What’s up?” questioned Aubrey now taking a seat next to my sprawled out body. It felt like death was upon me.

I pulled up my shirt and revealed my bruise. It looked like I just got done fighting in WWII.

“Holy mother of Fuck!” Swore Aubrey, his eyes holding shock

“You guys check this out.” piped Aurthur now closing his book. Pretty soon all eyes were on me and everyone went silent.

“Damn, he really took it out on you didn’t he squirt?” mumbled Audrien and I gave a weak smile, that I’m certain appeared as a grimace. This shit hurt like childbirth. Ok so I don’t know how it feels to give birth, but I’m certain it was just as painful. Intolerable stabbing and pounding sensations going through my body, all the while a feeling as though I was being torn in half.

Trent left to get an ice pack and came back with Audrien who had bandages, my brother looked at my purple skin and then spoke “This should do the trick and if it doesn’t then your shit out of luck, cuz I’m not getting back up!”

For all those girls who didn’t get it, this is a boy’s way of saying “I hope you feel better”.

“I’ll wrap her up, you guys can go back to the game.” spoke Aubrey pealing the brown bandage open. Audrien left back to the play station without another thought and Aurthur cracked back open his sex book.

I pulled out my pad and sharpie before looking up at the ceiling.

Soon I felt my brother pull up my shirt a bit further and immediately knew that this was bound to be painful.

“I honestly don’t know what Auren was thinking.” sighed Aurthur flipping a page, he had his reading glasses on and looked even smarter than usual.

“Auren? You mean Audrina don’t you?” scoffed Audrien. “He knows better than trying to use that twin telepathic crap on Auren. If squirt ‘s smart and wants to see junior year, he better not try and pull that shit again.”

*True, maybe I won’t use our twin telepathy anymore… it only seemed to anger everyone.*

This was one of the things that sucked about not being able to talk, people could just speak about you as though you weren’t even their and there is absolutely nothing that you could do about it

Please take note and notice how each of my brothers refer to me as he or him and never she.

“I get that, so he made a mistake.” replied Aubrey placing the ice on my bruise. My mouth opened wide to release a scream, although no sound came out and I had to squeeze my eyes shut just to endure the pain. “But that doesn’t mean Auren should go all Godfather part 2 on the squirt.”

“That shirt looks familiar…” stated Trent rather randomly from my right. I had forgotten he was even here; he was just another one of the brothers. The male bent down before whispering, “Is that Lee’s?”

I watched as his hair fell into those hazel nut coffee eyes and I smiled prior to nodding softly and blushing; Trent was the only one who knew for a 100% fact that I liked Lee.

“What’s with you and his t-shirts?” laughed the boy in a low tone. I watched as Trent sat next to me and I shrugged before looking back up at the ceiling.

Did he know what Lee looked like naked?

I’m sure he’s seen him in the boy’s locker room before…

Would he get mad if I asked him to describe it?

There was a small silence as Audrien was now sucked into the video game, Aubrey inspected my bruise, Trent doodled on my memo pad (a slightly annoying habit that he had, but I tolerated because he was by bud) and Aurthur flipped another page of the sex help book.

I snatched my memo pad and sharpie back from Trent and frowned as I saw random crap doodled everywhere along with a frog holding a gun. Honestly for this guy to be such a great artist he sure did draw some random shit.

I tapped on Aurthur’s shoulder.

The boy raised a brow at me as he looked down from his book. I pointed to the book and then scribbled on the pad.

*Feel like you need some extra tips?*

A small twinge of red rose in my brother’s cheeks before he cleared his throat and spoke. ”It’s good to learn new things; you never know when you might need to use that knowledge.”

I wrote again, *So who are you fucking?*

“It’s none of your business who I have sexual relations with!” snarled my glasses wearing twin. He gets defensive easily and this only further proves that he was in fact insecure. Just so were clear, he had not right to be, Aurthur has a lot of things going for him… even if he was more safety conscious that our great aunt Tessa, who still won’t let us eat hard candy because she thinks we’ll choke on it.

“He’s planning on banging Enya.” shot Audrien. Many girls may not have known it, but guys in fact gossip just as much, if not more than they do. Although I am certain that most of the conversation involves sex, video games, porn, sports, sex, more porn, girls, having sex with girls, having great sex with girls, having bad sex with girls, porn, Oh and the most important of all FOOD!

“Enya as in the African-American and Irish, smoking hot Enya, she’s still with you?” questioned Aubrey now taking the ice pack off my rib and wrapping the ace bandage around my waist. I inwardly groaned and bit down hard on my lip. This shit was painful, but at least it wasn’t broken.

“That’s her… and yes were still together, if that’s so hard to believe.” mumbled Aurthur, his speckled blue green eyes re reading the same page he had read not even 2 minutes ago.

Just for clarity, Enya who has been Aurthur’s steady girlfriend over the past summer is beautiful, like in every aspect of the word, she defines beauty. So my brothers just don’t understand how Ghost Bro managed to snag her. But as a girl I do understand where Enya is coming from, a sexy, mysterious, and intelligent man is into you, he has morals, and he comes from a family of hotties, so your child is bound to be good looking, why not take him when you have the chance?

“How far have you gone with her?” laughed Trent finding interest in the conversation.

“Is that relevant?” questioned my Ghost bro. We called Aurthur that behind his back because he was like a walking shell. Sometimes he was like a ghost in the corner of the room, present yet unresponsive.

What? Were guys, we like to talk shit about each other and it’s not like we take it to heart.”

“It’ll help us calculate the likelihood of how long she’ll wait to give it up.” Responded Audrien looking over at Aurthur and instantly he got shot in the head. ”Shit! I was just about to steal a convertible.”

My aren’t we talented.

“Well, I do want to know… so I can have further preparation off course.” thought the boy aloud.” We’ve done just about everything except sex and she invited me to meet her family for dinner this weekend. I mean she’s already met you guys so what do you think that means?”

“If she’s letting you meet her family, that’s a good thing right?” asked Aubrey it started off as a statement but somehow ended as a question as he tacked up the end of the bandage and placed the ice pack atop of it. I place out my fist and he pounded it with his, my way of thanking him. My brother smiled before lounging on the floor and grabbing the second controller, playing the game station with Audrien.

“That’s has to be a good sign.” commented Trent with certainty, all the while flipping through a comic book. ”I mean what chic puts you through the suffering of meeting her family and doesn’t give you any afterwards? That’s just cruel.”

I quickly scribbled on the pad *Does she have any siblings?*

I watched as my brother thought for a moment, “Yeah she’s the youngest of 3 girls, why?”

I wrote furiously *Dude, she didn’t invite you to dinner to meet her parents*

“If she didn’t invite him to meet her parents then why are they going to dinner together?” questioned Trent as he red over my shoulder. This was something else he did a lot and had it been anyone else I would be thoroughly annoyed, but once again Trent was my bud so I have grown accustomed to tolerating his habits.

“She probably wants her sister’s approval.” shrugged Aubrey too into his game to even look away from the TV.

I pointed my sharpie at Aubrey and nodded my head furiously.

“So as long as I make a good impression on the sisters I’m in right?” questioned Aurthur, his speckled eyes looking around the room.

“I suppose so.” commented Trent snatching my memo pad out of my hand and laughing at his foolish drawing.

Maybe I should pick a smarter best friend.

“Ghost Bro’s getting’ laid!” Laughed Audrien

“Excuse me?” Asked the glasses wearing male. Leave it to Audrien to call him that to his face.

The door suddenly opened and Auren stood at the entry way, his face was noticeably bruised and it appears that he convinced Audrey to bandage him up. It took me a while to notice but when Auren looked at me I spotted an eye patch over his left eye.

“Pizza’s here.” he states from the door.

“Eye I captain!” saluted Audrien before he, Trent, and Aubrey headed out of the room laughing.

“He looks like he walked out Pirates of the Caribbean, how funny would that be if Captain Hook jumped out the closet like right now?”

“Shit forget Captain Hook, think if Kiera Knightly jumped out your closet… and she was wearing one of those Pirate get ups. Damn!”

“Shh!” threatened Trent. “If you’re mean to him he won’t take us along to find buried treasure or Keira Knightly.” I tried my best not to laugh like the others, but did smile instead.

Auren said nothing but gave me the worlds most bone chilling glare that I had ever seen in my life. I stared back at him and even opened my mouth to say something, at times I forgot that I couldn’t talk, but it didn’t matter because Auren had already slammed the door behind him as he proceeded out of the room.

I gave a huge sigh as the back of my head slammed into a pillow.

Aurthur abruptly closed his book and looked down at me with a sympathetic smile. I stared back up at him, and couldn’t help but notice how rare it was to actually see him genuinely smile.

I flipped to a blank sheet on my note pad. *Auren hates me doesn’t he?*

Aurthur’s dark blonde surfer hair fell into speckled blue green eyes as he read over the statement prior to speaking.

“Yes.”

There was a deep pang in my chest and I bit at my lip to try and ignore the feeling. Slowly my hand wrote again. *Do you think he’ll ever forgive me…*

My brother gave a sigh of unease. If you ever wanted to know the brutally honest truth, it’s best to go to Aurthur; he was the most straight forward out of us all.

“If you’re asking about him forgiving you for that soccer game, than yes. We both know that his pride is just hurt, he’ll get over It.” commented Aurthur before pausing and looking me dead in the eyes. Dad always said that men always look you in the eye, no matter what and only boys with weak minds look in other directions when speaking to someone.

“But if you’re asking me about what I think you’re asking me about, then I would have to say NO. You crushed his dreams and until you can fix that… there is after all only one way to fix that, then you have to endure his anger, hostility and whatever else emotion comes along with what he’s feeling towards you.”

I stayed silent, there’s a surprise he really does hate me…

I watched Aurthur get off the bed and walk out of the room. As of today, it was official, I would be a disappointment in my brother’s eyes forever… and it was all Daniel Heartman’s fault.