Keep the Closet Door Closed

"Jasper..?" I called, reluctantly. I had to apologize. I've never been in "love" and don't know what it feels like to lose someone like Jasper lost his ex. There was no response. "Jasper? Jasper, come on, I'm sorry." I tried again, checking the closet and bathroom for any sign of him. I sighed and sat down on my bed again. "Fine. I was trying to play nice." I growled, frustrated.

Finally, he appeared, however, it was too close to my face and I screamed and jumped back. "Good God, Ghost Boy. How about we don't do that again?" I choked, catching my breath. He chuckled slightly. "You were going to apologize?" he urged. I rolled my eyes. What happened to the boy I'd victimized?

"Yes." I groaned. "I'm sorry for calling you a pussy." I replied. He looked up from me, smiling, slightly. "Anything else?" he asked, cheekily. I wanted to rip his face off. "And for being mean to you about that stupid- the girl." I added, biting my lip to keep the cruel words I actually wanted to say from coming out. "I know you care about her and I know nothing about it."

He looked away from me and shrugged. "It isn't so much that I care about her anymore- Its just.. what did I do wrong, you know? Why did she break up with me? I honestly wanted to be everything she wanted from me. I just wasn't good enough. That's the problem." he said, spilling his heart- or lack of- out to me. I didn't know if he expected a response or not but it was hard to give him one. I sucked it up and tried to help.

"I'm sure it wasn't you." I said. "Some people just aren't right for each other no matter how much they care." He looked up at me, his eyes full of skepticism. It frightened me, actually. Not his eyes but the mere fact that I could see the deep crystal blue orbs of light on his white face. His face was structured like a little boy but you could tell he wasn't. It was actually kind of cute..

In the 'I'm dead." kind of way, of course. I meant nothing friendly by that comment. He still pissed me off beyond human ability. It just intrigued me that he wasn't all.. transparent and ghosty. He looked just like a real boy- and a gorgeous one at that. If only he weren't so obnoxious. Maybe I wouldn't have minded having him here.

"Thank you." he said, finally. "But you don't know that. You hate me anyway. Just like she eventually did. I'm beginning to think its inevitable that everyone I will ever have communication will end up wanting me out of their lives." With that, he stood up and disappeared again.

I sighed. I suppose I have treated him rather impolitely lately. Things have just.. changed in me since my mother died. I guess life has gone downhill. I am convinced that everything in my life will end up screwing me over- it has since she died. Kicked out of every school in the London area, my father has gotten a bit more abusive and distant, my brother came home drunk every night after she passed away. It was even things as subtle as losing $20 on my way to buy groceries. Nothing seems to have gone right without her.

"Jasper," I began. "If you can hear me, I don't hate you. I'm just going through a difficult time right now and I have no right to take it out on you and random strangers. I'm sorry." I turned on my side, hoping he heard because, most likely, I'd never be in the mood to apologize to him again.