Blue Fingers

Sometimes when you’re so close to someone, you leave things for granted. Even the most attached to detail might let some of them slip. The more you know someone the more you let the small details pass. Do you believe this?

Confessions.

I got a frown from my teacher and giggles from my classmates as I stormed into the classroom, but no slip. I sighed contentedly as I took out my books and listened to class. The teacher was babbling something about the absolute value of a substraction and whatnot. The words weren’t really processed by my brain, my thoughts were elsewhere.

Can you guess where?

I bet you, can. It’s a simple five-lettered word.

Entering this new butterflies-in-my-stomach world isn’t really that easy.
To be to distracted isn’t really good for my grades.
Having to explain to my mother why I didn’t come home last night will be tiring.
And then having these memories swirling around in my head is hard.
Not thinking about him is impossible. It is simply impossible.

Mrs Monica scribbled some impossible exercise for us to do. Well, impossible for me considering I was no good in Pre-C and I hadn’t even tried to pay attention this time. I copied the numbers and symbols anyway, searching my brains for any process I could apply. Before I had so much as factorized the equeation the bell rang, freeing me from the ever so eternal class of hell. It took me no time to skip out of the classroom, happy that I didn’t have to face numbers until the next day.

I stopped short, almost colliding with a girl. I looked up to apologize and then I realized it was Vera. But not just Vera. It was as if a monster enraged had possesed her body, her brows were her furrowed and her lips were downward. Her arms where crossed over her chest, the neatly manicured nails digging on her skin. I shuddered.

“What’s wrong, V?”

I asked.

“You really think there’s a need to ask that?”

She hissed. I heard mumbling around us, and felt pairs of eyes on us. I didn’t like being the center of attention at all.

“Yeah...I’m confused.”

I mumbled, staring at her straight in the eyes.

“Ethan, Alexis! Ethan!”

It was my turn to furrow my brow. Did something happen to Ethan? Is he okay? Somehow I didn’t think those where the right questions to ask. Or more like I would most likely get slapped if I asked that.

“What does he have to do with whatever’s wrong with you?”

I asked as silently as I could. The people around us had stopped walking, some were close enough I could even smell their breakfasts through their mouths trying to be disguised with mint gum. I don’t think they’ve heard of toothpaste or Listerine.

“He’s my brother, he has everything to do with this!”

She stated, a bit to high and desperate for this to be a normal conversation. The mumbling around us started as soon as the words had slipped her mouth, and she finally noticed the intruders.

“Let’s get out of here...apparently this people haven’t heard of a little word called ‘privacy’!”

She spat through gritted teeth, clasping my hand on hers and dragging me away from the crowd.

A few odd words catched my attention from the whispers of the crowd. I placed them at the back of my mind to think about them later. Right now the only thing important was Vera and whatever her problem was.

We walked back to the same spot she had walked me before, on the time she talked to me about her and Ethan.

It clicked.

Of course, she was jealous.

But of what?

Me?

But I...

“Just what the fuck where you doing at Ethan’s? Why did you have his clothes? Why was your hair wet? Why did he drive you here? Why, why, why?!”

She yelled the last part, and I could see tears building up in her eyes.

“I...it was all a mistake. I didn’t plan any of this...!”

I mumbled, looking away from her at a pair of pretty white flowers with one, two, three...four petals and a little lady bug on top.

“Answer my questions, Alexis!”

I licked my lips and explained her what had happened overall. She was quiet for a while and then opened her mouth several times before she finally spoke,

“Did he...did he do anything to you, Lexie?”

She asked in a thin voice that cracked several times during the sentence. I looked up at her frightful eyes. It was so weird seeing her so scared. I didn’t understand what made her so terrified.

“No...he just kissed me...well, I kissed him.”

“You didn’t....with him, did you?”

“No, Vera.”

She smiled, and brushed the tears away.

“Good. Good, Lexie. I know you couldn’t do that to me.”

She placed her hand on my cheek and pulled me closer. I figured she would hug me like a little child like she usually did, but instead she placed a kiss on my lips. Actually, she would’ve kissed me hungrily if I hadn’t pulled back.

“What are you doing?”

She asked, hurt lacing her voice.

“That’s my line, Vera.”

I stuttered, moving away fromher gently.

“I can’t kiss you?”

She asked, her voice fragile and song-like, just like a spoiled brat.

“N-no, Vera.”

“But I love you, Lexie.”

I stood up, staring at her in a confused way.

“And I love you too but-“

“Then how is it wrong?”

She stood up as well, placing both hands around my waist.

“I can forgive Ethan. He’s just a lonely boy and you were doing him a favor. You’re so sweet you couldn’t resist seeing him so sad and angry-“

“No, Vera.”

I gently pushed her hands away from my waist.

“I don’t love you that way. Look, I have to go okay? I’ll just...talk to you later.”

I hurried out of there, leaving Vera behind.

Just what the fuck did she think she was doing?