Blue Fingers

I’ve always like cuddling to sleep. There’s a special place in another person’s body were you can fall asleep regarless of how sleepless you are. Do you know where this place is at?

Vera finally fell asleep. She had been chattering away ever since we slipped into our pjs and lyed down. Its not like I was sleepy and that’s why I wanted her to just be quiet for a bit, its just that my head was killing me and I just needed silence. As soon as I heard her breathing even out I sighed out of relief. Snuggling against the pillow I smiled contendly and tried closing my eyes. Maybe then the hammering against my head would cease.

Guess what? It didn’t.

I frowned, clutching the sheets closer to me in a feeble attempt to copy human warmth. I bet that if there was someone beside me then...

I shook my head as the memories from the time Ethan and I fell asleep on his couch came pouring back. I realized I wanted to see him. He had been so strange today, so cold towards me. Was it because of the time he was drunk?

Maybe...

Well, if I wanted to see him I would see him! I turned around and stared at Vera’s iHome, the black numbers against the shinning blue screen read three-thirty am. I gently pushed the sheets back and tip-toed towards the door. Opening it slowly I walked down the hallway towards the place Ethan had walked. I ignored the almost insane amount of portraits on the walls that would just distract me from what I was going after. I went towards the only door of the end of the hallway. It didn’t strike me that odd that light was already (or maybe still) pouring underneath the door, creating an almost eerie glow against the carpet.

I didn’t knock, I just opened the door, stepped in, and closed it right behind me. If Ethan was surprised, he hid it well. His room was as close to what a hotel room should look like as possible: the walls had some wallpaper over them, there was a middle-sized bed with nightstands on either side (one had a lamp and the other one a picture of Vera, his father, and Vera’s mom), there was a desk and a bookshelf. He was sitting on the desk, a stack of paper infront of him and his pen scribbling the last of a sentence.

He let down the pen against the paper, following me with his gaze until I sat on the floor, my back resting on his bed. I stared at him, my face blank.

“What do you want?”

He said stiffly, barely moving his lips to produce the words. If words could rust then I bet his would be almost dust by now.

“I can’t sleep and my head hurts.”

“Why come here, its not like I can do anything for you. Ask Vera for something.”

He said, turning around and picking up the pen again.

“She’s asleep...and besides she can’t do anything...you’re the one that can do something about it.”

This made him look at me again. I stood up and walked towards him, placing a hand gently on his shoulder.

“What’s wrong?”

I all but whispered. He had the same bored expression on and didn’t take more than a second to reply a dry,

“There’s nothing wrong with me. You’re the one that claims to have a headache.”

I increased the pressure on his shoulder.

“Ethan, what’s wrong? You’re so cold to me...its not even funny.”

I wrapped my arms around his stiff body.

“Is it because that time you got drunk? Whatever, I don’t care. Just...don’t be like this. Just...don’t.”

“Let go.”

He said briskly. He said the words yet he didn’t try to rip my arms away. He didn’t even move.

“N...no.”

“Alexis, move.”

“I won’t.”

“Why won’t you fucking move?”

“’Cause neither of us want me to.”

He sighed, his arms falling in the small of my back and ever so softly pushing me towards him, nearer, the thin white shirt he was wearing pressed against me. I let my head rest in between his neck and shoulders, his soft breathing moved my hair in an ever so slight way, and I felt genuinly happy.

We didn’t have to have passionate sex or even share a kiss, right now was more than enough.

“You know...it’s not like I want to be like that all the time...It’s just...”

“Then don’t be. Nobody wants you to be something you yourself dislike. You can’t live by acting a way they don’t want to. You’re torturing yourself.”

He nodded, removing one of the hands from my back to caress my hair softly.

“Are you sleepy yet?”

He asked in my ear, his lips brushing against it.

“No...”

I said in between a yawn. Before I knew it I was being carried bridal style and lyed carefully onto his bed, the soft sheets could make anyone feel sleepy. He started moving away but I grabbed his shirt. He couldn’t leave. He just couldn’t.

“Don’t.”

“I have some work to do-“

“Please?”

He sighed and lyed down next to me, staring at the ceiling. I snuggled closer, using his chest as a pillow.

“You’re really not much of a romantic.”

I mumbled as sleep started making everything look fuzzy. At least I thought that was sleep related.

“Not much of a talker either.”

He accepted with a smile.

“Kiss me goodnight.”

He did, planting a kiss on my cheek.

“Not there.”

I groaned. This time he paused. I opened my eyes, staring at him hard until he was into focus.

And he did. He pressed his lips against mine, lovingly partying them apart with his tongue. I responded instantly, the passion burning inside of me. He pulled me close, pushing my hair out of my face and grabbing my hips and face. But then we slowed down, knowing it was’t the time and much less the place. He left a small trail of kisses from my collarbone until he placed the last one on my lips, lasting a few seconds longer.
A few more seconds of pure joy.