Sleeping Sickness

And how safe it is to feel safe.

I watched as all the guys pulled off their shirts, kicked off their shoes, pulled off their watches and threw their pile of belongings into their chairs before taking off in the direction of the pool and jumping in. This always happened when everyone was plastered.

I shook my head at Nicole and then looked to the other girls. They all plastered drunken smiles on their faces as they stood up and pulled their shirts and shorts off, leaving them all in their swimwear. I laughed and looked to Nicole who shrugged her shoulders. We stood up and walked towards the patio door. Nicole turned around and looked towards the girls, "we're going to go change, go ahead and join the guys."

We made our way to Nicole and Zack's room, closing and locking the door behind us. Nicole and I were the two most sober of everyone, and I know it happened for a reason. She walked to her dresser and pulled out two black bikinis and tossed one towards me. We turned our backs to one another and quickly changed, tossing our clothes in a pile on the floor near the closet.

"Are you going to be okay going home tonight, or should I invite everyone to stay over?" Nicole asked, looking me directly in the eyes, worry clearly evident in them.

"I'll be okay Nic, so long as he stays drunk."

A frown pulled at the corners of her lips as she stepped towards me. "Is he okay when he drinks, honestly?"

I nodded, "he's a happy drunk, you know that."

"I just wanted to make sure Jasey. This whole thing scares the hell out of me."

I frowned and wrapped my arms around myself. Talking about Brian and I was really uncomfortable for me. I hated the fact that I had horrible things to say along with all the good things. It shouldn't be that way. Those horrible things are so often kept hidden away, but I had slipped and told my best-friend. The weight was lifted off my shoulders, but pushed back into my heart, making it ache with regret and worry.

"So..." she looked nervous, as if whatever she wanted to ask me might cause me to either cry or explode in anger towards her. It made my bones feel weak, as if I would collapse at any second just in anticipation. "Does he just hit you?"

Everything running through my mind abruptly stopped. How was I supposed to explain to my best-friend that I hadn't been clear enough about how my fiancé hurt me. I bit my lip and shrugged my shoulders lightly; I didn't want to talk about it right now, not yet.

"Can I explain everything another day, please Nicole?" I begged her, as I felt my eyes start to fill with tears. "I just... I can't do it right now." I covered my eyes with my right hand as I kept my left arm wrapped around my torso.

"Don't cry Jasey, please don't cry," she wrapped her arms around my shoulders. "You can explain everything to me when you're ready, just don't wait until it's too late, okay?" She pulled away and looked into my eyes, tear-stains down her own cheeks.

"Okay," I nodded. I brought both hands up to my face and whipped all of my tears away. I shook my arms at my sides, trying to get rid of all tension in my body, and then took a few deep breaths. "Okay, we should go join them in the pool."

"Yea," she turned towards the door and then looked back at me as we started down the stairs, "I'm in need of another fucking drink too."

I laughed and shook my head, "oh God, you have no idea how good that sounds right now."

She smiled at me as we walked to the backyard. We finished off our beers, along with Zack and Brian's in a few gulps and then headed to the pool.

Nicole grabbed my hand half way to the pool and gave me a mischievous grin before we took off running. When we got a step away from the edge of the pool we jumped and plugged our noses with our free hands, cannon-balling right into the middle of the pool, causing a huge splash to hit every other person, completely soaking them again.

When we resurfaced, everyone was laughing and glaring all at once. "You're so dead!" Brian yelled, as him and Zack swam towards us. Nicole and I glanced at each other and turned around, swimming in the opposite side of the pool that was clear of anyone else.

Just as we were pulling ourselves out of the water, Brian and Zack grabbed our waists and pulled us back down into the water, locking their arms around our squirming bodies. I turned and looked at Nicole as she frowned at me and then broke out into laughter.

Zack turned her around in his arms and cornered in the far left hand corner of the pool. He said something to her causing her to laugh before he pulled her close to his chest and placed his lips on hers. I turned away from them as Nicole wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck.

I felt Brian place a kiss on the right side of my neck, my back still pressed firm against his chest. I pushed all thoughts from my mind and turned around to face him. "Hey Brian," I smiled.

"Hey Jasey," he smiled back at me and pressed his forehead to mine. His smile instantly turning from content to a dopey smile. His eyes were glazed over from drinking all day and late into the night. His hair hung in wet clumps in his face, droplets of water cascaded down his face, neck and to his shoulders and chest that were above the water.

I dipped my hand into the water and brought it up to his face, pushing all of his hair out of his face. I kept my legs locked around his waist, as I kept my gaze fixed on him. I felt his hands move from my mid-back to my bathing suit bottoms. I rolled my eyes and moved his hands away from my ass to resting just above the edge of the bottoms to the bikini.

He gave me another goofy smile and whined, "awe, you're no fun." He stuck his bottom lip out into a pout.

I mimicked him and then poked him on the tip of his nose, "don't be such a baby." I pulled away from him and towards everyone else at the other end of the pool, including Zack and Nicole. I jumped on Zack's back and dunked him under water before swimming over to hide behind Matt.

Zacky rose above the water and playfully narowed his eyes at me before sticking his tongue out. He glared at Matt, causing everyone to burst out into laughter, including Brian, who had made his way over to the big group of intoxicated people.

I jumped out of the pool to grab another drink from the cooler, only to be followed by everyone else. I chuckled to myself and picked up Brian's watched to check the time.

"What time is it Jase?" Saije asked me as she sat down.

"Almost 1:30," I replied, giving Brian back his watch once his arms were dry.

"Wow, that late already?" Tara raised her eyebrows and then wrapped a towel around her shoulders. She sat down and picked up her Jack Daniels and took a drink.

Tori sighed, "we should leave soon baby." When Jimmy was done towel drying his hair he turned and looked at her, raising his eyebrow. We started laughing at his hair, standing up everywhere as if he had been electrocuted. "I have work at 8am," Tori told him before shaking her head.

"Okay hun, whenever you're ready," Jimmy smiled and grabbed Tori's hand in his.

I wrapped my towel around my shoulders tighter and felt Brian pull me down into his lap. He had towel dried his hair as well and then draped the towel around his shoulders to keep from shivering. He reached around me and picked up his whiskey in his left hand. I watched as he chugged it and then set the empty glass on the table.

I picked up mine and handed it to him, "here, you can have mine."

He raised his eyebrows, "you don't...?" he was starting to lose control of his words, only saying half sentences.

I smiled, "I don't want anymore. Drink it so it doesn't go to waste."

He shrugged and took it from my hands before chugging the full drink. I took the glass from him when he was done and set it on the table. Nicole caught my eye and frowned. When I was turning back around towards Brian I noticed that everyone was looking at me and everyone's face held a look of confusion.

I told myself I was being over-imaginative, even though I knew I wasn't, and ignored them. I snuggled more into Brian's chest as I waited for everyone else to finish up their drinks. I was going to wait until everyone else got up to leave.

-

"You're alright to drive?" Nicole asked for the fourth time.

I nodded, "you of all people should already know this. I only drank coolers earlier, and a beer before the pool."

I turned around and wrapped my arm around Brian's waist and lead him to the car. I got him situated in the passenger seat, and then hopped into the driver seat. I stuck the keys into the ignition and let the car idle for a few moments before I pulled out of Nicole's driveway and headed towards our house.

I cut the ignition when the car was parked in front of our garage. I pulled my seat belt off and watched as a sluggish Brian did the same thing. I opened my door and walked around to the passenger side. His door was open but he was still in the seat, slowing falling out of the car.

I hurriedly helped him up and out of the car, closing the door and locking the car before I shoved the keys into his pocket. Zack gave me a pair of his boxers and a hoodie so I had something quick and easy to throw on before we left.

I walked us to the door, and unlocked it from Brian's set of keys. We stepped through and I tossed the keys in a bowl by the door before I locked the door and then headed to our bedroom. When we got to the door Brian pulled himself away from me and stumbled towards the bed. He sat down and stripped until he was just in his boxers and then laid down on his back, turning to look at me.

I kicked off my shoes and pulled off everything until I was left in the bikini. I pulled off the top and grabbed one of Brian's shirts from the closet. I slipped it over my head and looked down, the hem reached to my mid-thighs. I pulled off the bottoms to my bikini and walked to my dresser and pulled out a pair of boy-shorts. I slipped them on quickly and then turned off the light.

I crawled into bed and snuggled into the sheets and my pillow only to have Brian roll over and hover over me. My heartbeat instantly sped-up, my eyes widening. This can't be happening... I told myself as I felt him slip his right hand up my shirt.

"Brian, baby," I whispered as I stopped his hand just beneath my left breast.

He nuzzled his head into the crook my neck and began to suck and nip at my skin. "Mmm," he mumbled.

"Brian, please, stop."

He pulled away and met my eyes, "but," he kissed my lips, "I'm," he pecked my lips again, "horny." He kissed my lips again and then sucked my bottom lip to in between his teeth. I felt him push past my hand and grasp my breast.

Tears formed at the corners of my eyes, "Brian, stop."

He groaned and pulled away from me. "Why, what's wrong?"

I sighed, "You're drunk, I'm tired, and I just don't want to have sex."

He rolled his eyes and fell back onto the bed beside me. He stayed on his back as he turned his head to the left and looked at me. I didn't bother turning my head, but watched his movements from my peripheral vision.

"Okay baby," he rolled over, kissed my cheek and wrapped his right arm securely around my waist, pulling me closer to his chest.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Too close of a call Jasey...