Leprechauns, Hedgehogs and Semicircles...Have Absolutely Nothing To Do With This Story

The UFOMonthly office was comprised of several small rooms connected to a large open office space. At least, it would be open if it wasn’t crammed full of messy desks with chunky cream coloured computers sitting atop them, as well as stacks of old newspapers and past issues of their publication in every corner. The walls were covered in newspaper clippings of UFO sightings that had managed to grab popular media’s attention, as well as lots of posters referencing ‘geek’ pop culture.

It was Friday morning in this large central office where Douglas and several other writers sat at their desks, pretending to be busy when in actual fact they were playing computer Solitaire. The ceiling fan spun lazily around, squeaking at each rotation. The water cooler aside the main entrance gurgled.

Albert strode in through this main entrance, a backpack slung over one shoulder. Dressed in casual clothes and sneakers, he threw a dirty glance at Douglas before continuing on to his office, skilfully dodging empty rubbish bins and loose papers.

“Good Morning, Al!” Douglas cheerfully exclaimed, ignorant to the dirty glance he was just given.

Albert ignored him and kept walking until a small woman named Lucy grabbed his arm.

“Hold up there, Mister Albert Tyler,” she said.

Albert sighed.

“What?” he stopped and faced her.

“Can you fix my computer? I think it’s frozen,”

Albert groaned quietly, “Why is it always me...”

“Maybe because you are the IT guy?” Lucy replied, getting up out of her seat to let Albert sit down.

“My actual job is to take care of the website, you know?”

“Yes, and since boss man is too cheap to employ another IT guy, you’re the computer fixer as well.”

He moved the computer mouse in the hope that Lucy was wrong about her computer. She wasn’t.

“Why did you ignore Doug?” Lucy asked.

“I didn’t,” he replied quickly, hoping to escape to his office for the rest of the day, “Look, just restart –“

“Why’d you ignore me, buddy?” Douglas appeared beside Lucy, munching on an apple.

“You should know why I zarking ignored you,” Albert replied coldly, restarting Lucy’s computer.

He threw another dirty glance at Douglas, before brushing past him and storming into his office.

“Zarking?” Lucy looked inquisitively at Douglas.

“Poor Al. He still hasn’t gotten over that book,” Douglas wandered over to Albert’s door.

Albert’s office was strangely reminiscent of how his bedroom had looked as a teenager – walls covered in posters and action figurines everywhere. The only real difference was that instead of a bed there was a small server used to store the whole office’s data. Next to this server was a corner filled with ancient or broken computer parts of which Albert had either tried to salvage, or was attempting to sell over the internet. In the middle of his office was his desk, covered in figurines and a computer. Sitting at this desk was Albert, annoyed, and trying to open his email with little success.

There was a knock on the door. A second later Douglas stepped inside.

“What’s up, buttercup?” Douglas said.

Albert glared at him, “Please don’t ever say that again,”

“Oh come on, Al! I’m just trying to cheer you up!” he flopped on the chair opposite Albert’s desk.

“How are you not even hung over?” Albert asked, shaking his head at Douglas. He glanced at his computer which had still failed to open up his email. He pressed a few keys on the keyboard.

“That is a very good question indeed, my dear friend,” Douglas pulled a loose thread from the arm of the chair he was sitting in, “And the reason I’m not hung over is probably due to the fact I didn’t have anything to drink last night,” He glanced up at Albert.

“Blast this computer!” Albert smashed his fist down on the keyboard, then realising what Douglas has said, looked up.

“What do you mean you had nothing to drink last night?”

“I didn’t have any alcoholic beverages yesterday night.”

“Oh, that’s it; you got so drunk you don’t even remember it,” Albert laughed.

“What are you on about?”

“Look, I don’t know how you got to Kayla’s flat before me last night. And I don’t know how you managed to get there leaving enough time for you to get drunk before I turned up. And I certainly don’t know how you’re not hung over today. But I’m still pissed at you, OK?”

Douglas didn’t say anything. Silence echoed. The server whirred. Douglas’ brain ticked. The overhead fan squeaked and Albert’s computer beeped to signify he had unread messages in his email inbox.

“Finally…” Albert mumbled, ignoring Douglas’ presence and clicking his way through his emails.

“…So you saw me at Kayla’s last night?” Douglas finally spoke.

“Obviously.” Albert rolled his eyes.

“Interesting…”

“How is that interesting? You know you were there. The only interesting thing is how you got there before me. That’s what I want to know.”

“Oh well, it’s interesting because I wasn’t there. I went to George’s shop. But do I believe you that you saw me at Kayla’s.”

Albert stared at Douglas for a long while, a blank expression upon his face.

“You can go now. I’ve got work to do.” Albert turned back to his computer and continued flicking through his emails.

“No, listen,” Douglas started, sliding forward, now sitting on the edge of the beaten up chair, “Doppelgängers!”

“No. No…No,” Albert leant back in his chair, folding his arms in front of him, “Not possible.”

“Of course it is! I’ve read lots of cases where people have seen doubles of themselves. Or friends have seen doubles of their friends,” Douglas nodded in excitement, “…Some people believe it means danger is coming though.”

“OK, Doug. As much fun as it is speculating and what-not about your presence at Kayla’s being that of you or your supposed ‘double’, that’s all the time we have for today. I’ll see you next week around the same time, yes?”

Douglas smirked and got up out of the chair, “You think I’m crazy, Al. But you’re the one who saw two of me. I’m just trying to help…”

“You’re going to do research, aren’t you?” Albert asked to Douglas' back as it headed out of the room.

“Obviously,” Douglas rolled his eyes, mocking Albert, “I’ll tell you what I find!” he flashed a huge grin before leaving Albert’s office.

***

The day trundled on, blissfully unaware of the monotonous activities people had to do during it. Albert was one of those people. Update news on website. Coffee. Work on new website layout. Lunch. Pilfer through office storage cupboards. Coffee. Check email.

“Albert, you going to come into work tomorrow?”

Albert swirled around in his chair, holding a mug of coffee. His boss was standing in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe. A portly man with little hair, red cheeks and a huge grin on his face; his name was Bernard Snubb. He was the owner and editor of the UFOMonthly magazine and unfortunately, was not very good at scheduling.

His lack of scheduling skills meant that towards the end of the month his employees were encouraged to work overtime by coming in on weekends in order to get the magazine finished by the following Monday.

Although Albert played no actual part in the magazines publication, his boss felt that if Albert’s employees were working weekends, then Albert should as well – just to keep on top of things. Albert was also apparently handy to have around in case one of the computers started playing up.

“Tomorrow is Saturday…” Albert raised his eyebrows and took a swig of coffee before placing the mug on his desk.

“You know the drill, Albert,” Bernard replied cheerfully, “End of the month. It’ll be handy to have you around. You can hopefully finish up that new website. How’s that going for you?”

“Uh, two weeks, boss. Two weeks,” Albert scratched the back of his head.

“Goodo, then!” Bernard chuckled, “If you come in tomorrow you can have Monday off then, eh?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Albert replied. Bernard smiled and left the room, continuing on his merry way.