Better Man

When Caroline returned to the bay area for New Years, she was carrying a lot of baggage with her, so to speak.

Ever since Giselle had told her about Mike's feelings for her on Christmas Eve, she hadn't been able to get it out of her mind. It was all she seemed able to think about and it was just about driving her crazy with all the questions running around her head like a pack of horny chimpanzees tripped out on bad acid.

For the sake of her sanity and to make things less complicated, she prayed that her sister's deduction was a mistake; that her analysis of Mike had been a little off.

And if it didn't confuse her enough, Tre picked her up from the airport. And she couldn't explain why, but it was as if just knowing about Mike's feelings made her guilty for something she shouldn't feel guilty about. She couldn't control Mike's feelings for her nor more than she could stop the sun from shining. And that's to say if he truly loved her and her sister wasn't blowing things out of proportion. But, dammit, Giselle had never been wrong about her perceptions in the past.

Shit.

What was Caroline to do? How was she supposed to act around Mike the next time she saw him? Pretend everything was fine and dandy? Continue ignoring the one, lone kiss they'd shared months ago and the fact that he'd been silently loving her for a year? How would anyone even begin to try dealing with that?

Caroline wished she knew. And she wished she knew quick, because New Years was two days away and there was no doubt in her mind she would run into Mike at Billie Joe's New Years party.

* * *

"What are you going to wear to the party, Care Bear?" Tre asked, calling from the bathroom as Caroline stood in his walk-in closet, staring at the section he'd given her for her clothes.

"Did you just call me 'Care Bear?'" she questioned.

"Yeah," he muttered. "Tryin' out new pet names." Stepping out of the bathroom with a mouthful of toothpaste and holding his red toothbrush in his right hand, he poked his head into the closet. "Don't like it?"

"No," she replied, sorting through her clothes. "Care's fine. Carrie's...okay. But, please...don't call me a toy."

"But you're my toy," he insisted with a sudsy smile. "My sex toy."

Caroline turned her head and looked at Tre, quirking an eyebrow. "So, I'm just an object to you?"

Tre's face fell. Damn. He couldn't tell if she was playing along with him or actually serious. Shit. He really needed to work on reading her expressions.

"Uh..."

Caroline smirked and stepped out of the closet with a black, cocktail dress, plopping it down on the bed. Tre's body turned to follow her movement, still trying to figure out if she was miffed by his comment or not.

"You're drooling toothpaste onto the carpet, by the way," Caroline said, turning her head to look over her shoulder at him.

"What? Oh. Shit." Tre grimaced as he used his sock to rub the toothpaste into the carpet. He was too lazy to go into the bathroom and properly clean it up. "Are you mad at me?"

"Mad about what?"

"'Cause you asked if I thought of you as just an object. And I don't. I never would, Care."

"I know." Her look was distant, her eyes a little clouded as if there, but not.

Oh, shit, Tre thought. She's back to being here physically but gone mentally. Just wonderful.

"Where are you right now?" he suddenly got the balls to ask.

Caroline blinked once. Then twice. "What?"

"Where are you? I mean, I see you standing here with me, but I look in your eyes and you're completely gone, like you're off in some distant land where unicorns and fluffy puppies run free."

"Is there any possible way to talk about my whereabouts when you don't have a mouthful of Colgate?"

Tre frowned.

He didn't say a word as he went into the bathroom, and spit out the toothpaste. He gave his teeth another good brush and then spit again before rinsing out his mouth. When he walked back into the bedroom, he took note of how Caroline had dropped the towel she'd been wearing around her body and had slipped into a black thong and was not slipping into her dress.

"Need any help?" Tre inquired, knowing the zipper on the back of the dress was tricky for her to do on her own.

"No, I got it."

Tre just looked at her, placing his hands on his narrow hips. "Since when?" he asked haughtily. "Every time you've worn it, you've needed my help with the damn zipper."

Caroline lifted her eyes to him and narrowed her gaze. "What the hell's gotten into you?"

"Me? What's gotten into me? What's gotten into you?" he threw back. "You've been acting a little weird toward me for a while. And more so since you got back two days ago. What the fuck is up with you?"

Rolling her eyes, Caroline turned away from Tre as she struggled with reaching her arms behind her and pulling the zipper up. "Nothing's gotten into me. I'm fine."

"Bull-fucking-shit."

Caroline let out a growl of frustration as she dropped her hands to her side and gave up on the zipper. "Go suck a dick, Frank," she bit out, pushing past him. "I'll see if Claudia can help me."

"Caroline," he growled her name out in the same frustration she was exuding as he grabbed her arm, a little harder than he'd planned, in order to get her to just stay and talk to him.

Unfortunately, it didn't go that way when Caroline yelped in pain and twisted out of his grasp and then stumbled back into the corner of the dresser. Tre's face fell into that of guilt.

"Oh, shit. Care, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to grab you like that..." he began apologizing.

She just stood there for a moment, not straightening her posture; just looking down at the floor and breathing steadily. "I'm fine," she finally spoke. Lifting her hazel eyes to meet his blue ones, she pushed some hair out of her face and began to back out of the bedroom, making sure the front of her dress didn't fall down. "I'm PMSing. Blame it on that."

As she shut the bedroom door behind her, Tre found himself staring at the door's backside, alone in the room while he listened to the slight pitter patter of Caroline's feet in the hallway and then the knock on Claudia's bedroom door.

"Shit," Tre muttered to himself.

* * *

At Billie Joe's party, Caroline found herself hanging around Adrienne the most. After the argument with Tre at home and the silent car ride, she wasn't in the mood to hang on his arm like a lovely girlfriend. She wasn't even sure she wanted to be around anyone for that matter. And then there was the foreboding feeling she had, knowing at some point she'd run into Mike.

And just when she thought life couldn't get anymore complicated, Caroline spotted Mike leaning against the wall, talking with his ex-wife, Anastacia, who had been invited to the party along with Estelle so Joey and Jakob had someone to hang around with.

She couldn't understand why she suddenly felt a peculiar pang of jealousy when she saw he smiled at her as they talked amiably with each other. She tried blinking it away; shrugging it off.

She had no reason to be jealous. Yes, she may have had an argument with Tre, her loving boyfriend, but that gave her no reason to be jealous of the ex-wife to someone who was a close friend and apparently loved her.

Tre loves me, Tre loves me, Tre loves me, she told herself over and over again as she turned away and walked back over to where Adrienne was picking up some crumpled up napkins from the floor. A few feet in front of them, Tre stood talking to Billie Joe when he looked over at her and smiled.

She smiled back, a little, but a wave of fear hit her like a ton of bricks.

Suddenly it felt as if his smile couldn't cure the confusion in her heart and mind. She wasn't sure how she felt anymore.

Oh, God. Giselle was right. I'm not sure how I feel about either Tre or Mike, Caroline thought. Perhaps I'm better off if I wasn't involved with either, friend-wise or boyfriend-wise. It's just too confusing to having feelings for best friends.

Her train of thought paused and her eyes widened as she turned back around and walked off toward the kitchen to help herself to a glass of Arbor Mist that was in the fridge.

Her hands shook as she went over in her head the thought she'd just admitted to herself.

She had feelings for Tre, obviously. But she also had feelings for Mike.

But was it possibly love? Or just like?

Downing the glass in one gulp, she poured another. And then a third, which wasn't wise because she hadn't had anything to eat that day, so she got a quick buzz which made her feel a little drowsy.

And let it be known that when Caroline began to get drunk, she became slightly lovey-dovey and affectionate.

Walking lazily out of the kitchen and into the empty downstairs bathroom with what had been her fourth glass of Arbor Mist, Caroline closed the door and sat down on the toilet, making sure the lid was down first. She smiled at nothing in particular as she ran the water in the sink and let the cold wash over her hands soothingly and then turn it off aimlessly. Standing back up, she looked at her reflection in the mirror and then frowned as she felt an itch on her leg.

Just as she bent down to scratch it, the door opened and in walked Mike, who shut the door, oblivious to the fact that Caroline was in the room. It wasn't until he looked down and she looked up that they both acknowledged each other's presence.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were in here," he apologized.

"S'okay," she slurred, standing up and setting her empty glass on the sink's counter. "It's not like I was peeing or anything."

"Oh...well...I kinda have to," he muttered a little bashfully.

"Okay." But she made no movement to let him know she was leaving so he could piss in privacy.

"Um..."

"Oh, don't worry about me. I've lived with three guys and Tre. Go ahead and piss your heart out. I'll even turn around," she offered, doing just what she said she would.

"Is there a reason why you feel the need to keep me company in the bathroom?"

"I'm avoiding."

"Avoiding what?" he asked, hesitating in unzipping his pants and whipping it out with her still in the bathroom.

"I don't hear you peeing," she muttered.

Frowning, Mike pulled his zipper down and, well, whipped it out. "Avoiding what?" he repeated, doing his best to take the attention away from his peeing.

"Everyone."

"Why?" he questioned as he started to relieve himself, all the while greatly embarrassed, because here was his crush, two feet away from his bare cock.

"I've got a lot on my mind and the things I've been thinking about lately only confuse my mind all the more."

"Oh," he spoke lamely, finishing up. "What kind of things?"

"Relationship things."

Mike turned his head as he tucked himself back in and zipped up. A look of concern fell over his face as he flushed and began to wash his hands. "Are you and Tre having problems?" he asked, secretly feeling a bit happy at the thought, but then feeling guilty because he was sure that made him a bad friend.

"Not officially. I'm just...I dunno. I'm not sure of anything anymore, I think." Caroline turned around and met his gaze as he wiped his hands on the towel.

He smiled sympathetically and when his eyes linger to her bar left arm, the smile disappeared. "What happened to your arm?" he asked, touching his hand to an area of her skin that was bruised.

She followed his gaze and then shrugged it off. "Nothing."

"Tre didn't..." he trailed, not wanting to assume the worst. "He didn't hit you, did he?"

"No. Nothing like that. We had a little fight earlier -- strictly verbal -- and I went to walk out of the room and he grabbed my arm to stop me. He grabbed a little too hard, but I saw in his eyes that he was even surprised at how hard he grabbed me," she explained aloofly. "He didn't mean it."

Mike's hand lingered on her arm, subconsciously, as he looked up at her, reading the expression in her face. He wasn't sure if he should believe that however Tre had grabbed her had been a mistake or not.

"If things got bad, you'd tell me, right?" he wondered, his eyes so completely blue and soulful. "As your friend."

Caroline studied his lips as he spoke, the kiss they'd shared showing up on her memory's radar screen like a small blip. It caused her to lift her eyes to his as she nodded.

He truly cared about her. And as Giselle had told her, he'd loved her for the last year. He'd loved her and never said a word. He never fought for her or tried to sabotage his best friend's relationship with her. He never tried to put the moves on her. He was always a gentleman around her, treating her like not just a friend, but a woman. Not that Tre didn't, but...

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" she asked, seemingly out of the blue.

"What?"

Oh, Caroline, it's now or never.

"Why didn't you ever say anything in regard to how you feel about me?"

His face changed from that of concern to that of surprise and embarrassment. "I-I'm not sure I know what you're---"

"Giselle told me."

"She told you what?"

Caroline took a step closer to him. "That you love," she blurted. "That you fell in love with me when you met me."

Her eyes were a little heavy-laden as she stared from his nose to his mouth, wondering to herself what it'd be like to kiss him again.

"I don't know what to say..."

"Say how you feel, Mike," she remarked frankly. "I don't want other people's opinions on how you supposedly feel toward me. I want to hear it straight from the horse's mouth." Then she added, "Please."

Mike still had his hand on her arm, and as he fought to find the words to say, his fingers gently wrapped around her smooth skin. "Caroline, I..." he began, his lips parting, watching how she bit her bottom lip, awaiting his response. "It's true. God, it's true," he admitted, swallowing back a lump of nerves in his throat. "I have been in love with you since the day we met, I think. If not then, then the day at the restaurant at Pier 39 which was the inspiration for 'Raspberry Tea.'"

Caroline smirked a little. "I almost forgot about that."

"I haven't," he replied seriously. His eyes' focus moved away from her lips and up her face to her eyes, which were locked with his, instantaneously. "I love you, Caroline."

"Why didn't you say anything before?" she wondered, her chest tightening as her heart fluttered at him admitting his love for her.

"Because I wasn't sure you would've thought I was your type, and I wasn't sure what I felt for you was just like or love or lust," he replied. "I was unsure. And it wasn't until you were kissing Tre last New Years that I think I realized I loved you. And by then, it was too late. And not a day goes by that I don't wish I'd just thrown caution to the wind and made a move."

Their faces inched closer to one another as he spoke, his hand running up her arm, softly. Caroline tilted her head a little as he spoke, her heart pounding in her chest as she leaned forward; the tip of her nose brushing against the tip of his.

"Kiss me," she whispered.

His whole body tingled when her nose touched his, slowly snaking his left arm around her waist, he pulled her up against his body, his arousal immediate. And immediately noticeable. Mike tilted his head to the opposite as hers and brought his lips down onto hers, hungrily kissing her like he was a dehydrated man in the desert and she was the waterfall he'd miraculously stumbled upon.

Caroline moaned into his mouth as she reached her hands up and ran her fingers through his brown hair, massaging his scalp and pulling him in for a deeper kiss at the same time.

"Caroline..." he moaned. And this time she didn't break away when he said her name.

Frantically, she reached her hands down and grabbed the collar of his shirt and ripped it open; a button flying off in some random direction. As soon as she had the entire shirt open, she ran her fingers up and down his chest, inciting another moan from him. He let his lips trail from her lips, to her jawline, and down her neck before placing kisses on the tops of her breasts that were all but billowing from her black, cocktail dress.

Caroline tilted her head back, groaning a groan that seemed to have begun somewhere from her feet.

"Mike..." she groaned in returned.

When he looked up at her through his eyebrows he widened his eyes, lustily, when her hand reached down his pants and grabbed a hold of his, uh...arousal.

"Oh God..." he panted. "Caroline..."

"Shut up," she muttered, claiming his lips once more. "I want you, Mike. Right here. Right now."

"In the bathroom?" he laughed a little.

"Yes," she replied huskily.

That was all Mike needed.