Better Man

After Tre paid Mike a visit, Billie Joe came in and the two men spoke for near a half hour. The older man actually got teary and cried a little, admitting how scared he was when he heard Mike had had a heart attack; thinking he'd lost his best friend. The friend who'd helped fill the void in his life after his father died.

They had a nice talk, with Mike explaining everything that had happened between him and Caroline, how him and Tre had gotten into the fight prior to his heart attack. The green-eyed guitarist then admitted he wasn't all that surprised by the affair, considering how he always noticed the looks Mike stole toward Caroline and the one's she stole in return, which caught Mike's attention.

But, alas, the visit came to an end, wherein the nurse from earlier, who Mike learned of her name to coincidentally be Estelle, said it was time for him to have a bit of lunch. Afterward, she wiped his face, checked that all the tubes and wires and other things hooked up to him to monitor his heart and whatnot.

"You're looking better already," she commented.

"I'm feeling better," he smirked. "Does that mean I can go home sooner?"

"Oh, no. Don't think you can pull one over on me. I don't care how cute you are with them blue eyes."

Mike smiled as she walked over to the window and opened the curtains. "It's a nice day out," he remarked at the sun shining through the blinds.

"Every day is a beautiful day if you look at it the right way."

"What--do you work for Hallmark or something?" he teased.

"I might," she replied with a laugh. "So, are you up for more visitors or are you too tired, because I can kick them out."

"Uh...no...I, uh...I think I can handle a few more."

"Alright, then. I'll send the next one in, okay?"

"Sure thing."

Estelle, the nurse, disappeared out of the room as Mike looked toward the window. The door reopened while he was still looking away.

"Hi," came a meek voice.

The bassist turned his head and he smiled. "Caroline."

"That's my name," she smirked. She had her hands stuffed in her pockets; it must be a thing going around. As she walked a little closer, she placed her hands on the end of the bed and bit down slightly on her bottom lip. "I hear you're feeling better."

"Yeah, I am. A little tired..."

"Well, yeah. Your heart went through a lot of stress." She sighed a little and looked down guiltily. "And I'm sorry about putting you through any of that. I didn't think anything like this would happen."

"Care, you didn't do this. I let it happen to myself," he insisted. "It wasn't just stress that did this. The doctor said it's also my intake of coffee, my occasional cigarette, and the heart problems I've had since birth."

"You have heart problems?"

"Yeah."

"That's a little weird. I was born with a slight heart murmur."

The two of them locked eyes and she moved closer, letting her hand drag along the blanket. She didn't say anything after that, but Mike could sense a few things she wanted to talk about.

"What went down with Tre?" he asked. "He mentioned the two of you ended up talking."

"Uh, yeah," she muttered, sitting down in the chair beside the bed. "He gave me a call to tell me what happened to you and I ended up meeting him here. We kinda waited in silence in the waiting room before he asked if I'd want to talk somewhere more private. So, we went out to his car and sat in there, talking for about 3 or 4 hours."

"What'd you talk about...if you don't mind me asking, that is."

"About everything, pretty much," Caroline responded with a shrug. "We talked about you and me, and the extent of our relationship, about how I feel about you." She bowed her head and looked sheepishly at her lap. "And we talked about us. Me and him, I mean. And what's left for us. And, um...we also talked about how I'm going on tour and, uh..."

She trailed off, and Mike noticed that it was hard as he saw her getting a bit choked up. Caroline looked up at him with tears brimming her eyes.

"Sorry," she muttered. "I just can't get over the fact that you almost died."

Mike smirked appreciatively as he watched her chin quiver. He moved his left hand to the edge of the bed, his finger beckoning for her to give him her hand. She did, wrapping her around his as Mike gave a gentle squeeze.

"Well, you don't have to worry about me dying anytime soon. I already died and came back, so there's nothing this world can't throw at me that I can't handle."

Caroline's hazel eyes went wide. "You what?" she questioned, slightly horrified.

"Yeah. Dr. Michaels said I was legally dead for about two minutes after I arrived to the hospital."

"Oh my god," she commented, placing her free hand upon her chest. "Y-you died?"

"Only for two minutes. And I'm alive now, and getting better," he assured. "It's okay."

Caroline blinked away her tears, wiping her eyes and looking off toward the window. "Wow. That, uh...that really puts things into perspective, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it did."

Another moment of silence befell them, neither knowing what exactly to say just then. Mike took the initiative, however, of linking his fingers with hers. Caroline leaned forward and lifted her hand to touch her palm to the side of Mike's stubbly face. He turned his head a little to kiss her palm as she bowed her head again.

"Tre and I decided to take a break," she blurted. She removed her hand form Mike's grasp and sat up straight. "And since I'm going to be going on tour in less than a week, it'll be a good time for me to take the time to figure out what I want and how I feel."

"What about me?" Mike wondered.

"I'll use that time to do the same about you. To sort through everything. I just...I really need this. This time to get away, to sort of step back and consider everything. All my options."

Mike lowered his chin to his chest and frowned. "I understand."

"Mike," she began. "No matter what, I still love you. Just as I still love Tre. No matter what happens, you both are in my heart. I don't want to lose either of you, be it as friends or boyfriends."

She looked him over and sighed.

"So I won't see you until the end of May?"

"Yeah."

"I will miss you every day that you're gone."

"Mike, stop," she chastised.

"I'm just saying."

"I know, but, please."

Mike licked his lips as he tilted his head back into his pillow. "So, what do we talk about now?"

"The weather?" she joked a little. "I dunno, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry."

Caroline flashed him a small smile and stood up, placing a hand on his shoulder and then running it through his hair. She leaned forward and kissed his cheek just as he lifted his right hand, cupped the side of her face and turned so that their lips met.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I know," she replied, resting her forehead against his. It wasn't the reply he was expecting, but it was okay. "I think I should go for now. I've been up for pretty much 24 hours."

"Yeah, okay," he muttered. "Go home, get some sleep. Uh...where are you going home to? Back to Tre's or the apartment with the guys?"

"Where have you been? We got rid of that apartment back in October. Nick and Christina just bought a house together and both Nef and Dave have separate condos in San Francisco. I was living with Tre."

"Well, I guess I didn't pay attention to the others because I was so caught up by you," he remarked mischievously.

"I'm going back to Tre's though, but I won't be sleeping in the same room. I'll be in the guest room until I leave on tour."

Mike nodded as she started to step away, but he held her hand in his. "Wait."

Looking at their conjoined hands before meeting his gaze, Caroline bit the left corner of her bottom lip. "Mike," she muttered.

"One more kiss before you go," he spoke.

A small smile pulled at the corners of her mouth as she leaned forward. She braced on hand on his right side by his waist and the other hand at his left as he cupped her face. The two of them kissed for a few moments, with Mike nipping gently at her bottom lip, feeling her smirk against his mouth.

As they pulled away, Caroline ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it playfully. "I'll come back later tonight to visit, okay?"

Mike nodded. "Okay, I'll wait right here," he joked.

Smiling, she shook her head and adjusted her purse on her shoulder, patting his leg as she stepped away toward the door. "See ya later."

"Later," Mike repeated, watching her curvaceous form slip out of the room.

A part of him was happy that she came to visit him, that she still obviously loved him as well. But a part of him was fearful of what would happen in the coming months. If she'd go back to Tre, perhaps to him, or neither at all. Maybe no news was good news. But waiting until May would be undoubtedly annoying.

* * *

Caroline never returned that night. However, Anastacia showed up with Estelle and stayed until seven, and then Billie Joe returned with Adrienne and his sons since the doctor gave Mike the okay to have as many visitors as he thought he could handle. The foursome stayed for about a good two hours, watching some TV with the bassist, chatting, or eating. Granted, Mike was on a crappy hospital 'diet.'

Because it was a school night, though, the Armstrongs had to leave by nine to get the boys home, which ended up being when all visitors had to leave anyway for the night.

Mike was left alone in his hospital room once again, in semi-dark as the ceiling lights had been turned off and only the light from his bedside table was left on along with the glow from the TV that was suspended from the ceiling.

He flipped through the channels, finding a brief snippet of himself being mentioned on an MTV News Brief 'at ten to the hour, every hour.' He watched a movie on Lifetime about a woman who wanted to find the daughter she'd given up for adoption, found her, and then was reunited and fell back in love with the girl's biological father after 28 years. It was a pretty good story.

For a chick channel.

But Mike was bored. He didn't want to sleep, because he wasn't exactly tired; not to mention he hated sleeping upright and on his back. He was the type who liked to sleep flat on his stomach, spread out over his entire bed. If he was going to sleep on his back it was only because he had a beautiful woman asleep in his arms, cuddling into his side with her head on his chest.

Alas, that was not so.

And, then, before Mike had realized it, sleep had closed in and he was pulled into a dream he'd had once before, about a year ago.

He was laying in his bed at home, with Caroline walking up to him, wearing nothing but a black negligee. She climbed up onto the bed, and up into his lap as he sat up, encircling his arms about her waist and pulling her down into a kiss.

Mike smiled in his sleep as the dream continued to unfold further. And in the back of his mind, he was well aware he was only dreaming, and in the back of his mind he also wished that if he couldn't have Caroline for real, then he didn't want to wake up from his dream at all.